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back to article Bristol crim caught with mobile up jacksie

A 22-year-old Bristol master criminal will spend eight weeks in prison for attempting to smuggle a mobile phone into prison by "concealing it internally", as the Bristol Evening Post delicately puts it. Aaron Walker had been ordered back to Horfield Prison on 30 April for breaching the licence for a previous unnamed offence. …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There are some problems with your comment:

    Lets hope it wasn't a touch based phone or he could have run up a very large bill.

    0 0
  2. richard 69
    IT Angle

    if it was on vibrate?

    i dread to think...

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  3. Craig 12
    IT Angle

    I don't want to think about this for too long

    But surely wrapping in tissue is a silly idea... something slippery and impermeable like a condom would have been much better.

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  4. HaplessPoet
    Joke

    A Tissue?

    Goesintight!

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  5. John HInchliffe

    Hmmm

    Wonder where he put the charger?!

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  6. Neil Dawson
    Pirate

    This is not uncommon

    I have a friend who works specifically in this area and he tells me that this is really very common.

    What is more concerning is that mobile phones need chargers..... and they often get into prisons in just the same way.

    Makes you glad to be bored in IT support really

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  7. N2

    Please dont tell me...

    It was discovered because it was 'switched to vibrate'

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  8. Scott Mckenzie

    Ouch

    I hope it wasn't an iPhone/Blackberry or one of those JCB rugged ones - that'd smart a tad!

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  9. Rod MacLean
    Go

    80s

    Perhaps a suitable punishment would be to have his sim inserted into a 1980s phone and then have THAT inserted into his rectum. It would certainly perpare him for dropping the soap in the prison showers...

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  10. Smallbrainfield
    Coat

    @ John Hichliffe

    It was the charger cable poking out of his trousers that made them suspicious in the first place...

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  11. Scary
    Coat

    talking out of

    Wow, you could call it up and talk out of somebody else's arse.

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  12. lee harvey osmond

    Windows Mobile

    Come on, it must have been a Windows Mobile phone. PITA?

    0 0
  13. Chrome

    @A Tissue

    Genius! In other news you owe me a keyboard (and a decent excuse to the boss as to why I suddenly started laughing... Code comments aren't that amusing!)

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  14. Ray0x6
    Coat

    Southville

    Well, he's from south of the river, innit? They're a bit special that side of town... nevertheless, top marks for trying.

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  15. Philip Stott

    Sorry ...

    If it wasn't on vibrate, would it be a ring tone?

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  16. peter garner
    Thumb Up

    Hopefully not

    .. a Nokia Maemo ;-)

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  17. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    is it me...

    or is your anus ringing?

    no coat for me, just assuming the position

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  18. Tim Spence

    The important question...

    ...what model was it?

    It is important, because there's a difference between squeezing in an Ericsson GH688, and a T65.

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  19. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Oh my.

    Gives a whole new meaning to the "slider" phone. (Or maybe it was your basic chocolate bar phone??)

    OK, I'll stop now.

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  20. This post has been deleted by its author

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    new TouchFlo(w) interface........

    or was it a Bum Deal....

    or maybe a new v3.0 iS*** with and "cut & paste" thingamajiggy

    Thank God it's Thursday (used to be TGIF but with a 4day week recessionary wipe.. etc)

    ok..back to sleep

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  22. Lionel Baden 1

    huh !

    i suppose it was a small factor phone or was it something like a Iphone ??

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  23. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    crap mobile

    Shame the battery didn't explode.

    0 0
  24. hi_robb
    Alert

    RE: This is not uncommon

    What, you have a friend who make a living by using his arse to smuggle mobile phones in to prison?

    Does it pay well?

    Rob

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  25. Niall 1
    Coat

    According to Google Latitude

    He was up his own arse.

    0 0
  26. IcerG

    poop deck

    In some prisons they now have a special seat where they can x-ray up the poop deck without having to resort to rubber gloves.

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  27. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Ouch!

    I wonder if he was on Ohhhhh 2.

    0 0
  28. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Re: RE: This is not uncommon

    It doesn't pay well but you get good job satisfaction

    0 0
  29. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    At least he wasn't trying to smuggle....

    ... aftershave (http://www.springerlink.com/content/j5876v156261484w/).

    ... axe handle and various other objects (http://urostream.blogspot.com/2006/02/i-never-ask-why_22.html)

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  30. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I buddy of mine...

    works at the Women's prison, you should hear about alll the random crap they confiscate....

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  31. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Hmmm.

    Any news on his ringtone?

    0 0
  32. Andy 41

    Funny...

    ...how no one has used the 'pictures or it didn't happen' line on this one.

    0 0
  33. Wendle

    Breach!

    Hmmmm...

    Clam phone. Hinge first. Ouch.

    Mines without a thumb logo. No assist required.

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  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BOSS chair

    The special phone-finding chair is a Body Oriface Security Scanner:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7152744.stm

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  35. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Gives a whole new meaning....

    to his "30 Days in the Hole" ringtone!!!

    0 0
  36. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    @Chrome

    "Code comments aren't that amusing!"

    You're obviously not coding properly... all of my code comments make me laugh when I look again 2 years on; similarly other peoples comments make me chuckle regularly!!

    If comments aren't both funny and informative, there's definitely something wrong!!

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  37. Dr Gerard Bulger

    Mobiles in Prison

    One chap at a London HMP had one up there for four years before dropping it when crouching; mindyou he used every day to call his wife, so it came out for air daily. Us docs realised the likey cause of his rectal prolapse.

    He tired to claim it was against his human rights to take it away after such a time

    Keeping mobiles charged up is the challenge as chargers are too easily found and a bit spikely to be stored with the mobile.

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  38. elderlybloke
    Thumb Up

    I have to leave now

    I have become rather weak from laughing at all these naughty crude posts.

    0 0
  39. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    @Philip Stott

    Ringtone?

    Yes it would be, but one with a lot of bum notes.

    0 0
  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Prisoners today have it easy...

    Back in my day smuggling a mobile phone in was no laughing matter. In the eighties we used to use some real big arseholes to smuggle the phones in....

    0 0
  41. Ged Tonkin
    Joke

    When cautioned, he was advised...

    You have the right to remain on Silent...

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  42. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    He's innocent I tell you

    It was a bum rap!

    0 0
  43. Paul Johnston
    Happy

    USB charger

    Perhaps a usb charger might hurt less!

    0 0
  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    mains charger

    Most illegal mobes in UK prisons are charged up directly from the mains electricity.

    A plug, some stripped wire, and two seconds is about all it takes to fully charge a cell phone battery with 230volts AC.

    Very dangerous, but quick.

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