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back to article Yes! It's the invisible¹ shed²!

Life is often disappointing for the technology enthusiast, unless you're the pathetically easily-pleased kind who's impressed by the ability to update your web page while having a dump. Proper new technology - robot or brainchip-monkey butlers, flying cars, headmounted energy weapons for one's swimming-pool menagerie - these …

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  1. Jon Brunson

    I've always wondered about an invisibility cloak

    Surely if the light bends around the "cloak", then no light is going inside the cloak, therefore if you were under the cloak, you wouldn't be able to see anything?

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bugger

    Not only is the shed too small for me, but I live with my mother, meaning that a shed is not required - I can simply hide in my room.

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  3. Rob
    Coat

    WooHoo

    I have defective eyes that only see in part of teh electromganetic spectrum and I have a small arse, so this has to be agreat day for technology.

    Mine's the invisible one with a toilet booster seat in the pocket.

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  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Jon

    The answer in this case is "A wizard did it"

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  5. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Hmm.

    Invisible in infra-red would be a blessing for anyone trying to grow certain herbs and spices in the shed - I'm led to believe the police often use infra-red cameras to spot these miscreants?

    Ok, the size is a little low at the moment, but it's a start, and you could still grow enough in your nano-shed to provoke another tirade from the Daily Fail...

    Mine's the one with a shed in each pocket.

    ~Arthur Jackson~

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Jon Brunson

    Okay, no light from outside falls under the cloak. So you carry your own light source. "Lumos" my boy!

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  7. Winkypop Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    "I can simply hide in my room"

    Is that what they call it these days?

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  8. DutchOven
    Boffin

    One major drawback

    Who needs a shed a few thousands of a millimeter across?

    It's so small it's invisible anyway.

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  9. Martin Lyne

    @Jon Brunson

    True, some japanese scientist recently devised a device that somehow alters the refractive index again, when pressed against the inside of a metamaterial, so you'd be able to choose where you make a small, visible peep hole.

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  10. Tim

    Another great idea

    A noano-shed is awesome, everyone knows that the cubic size of a shed is soon dwarfed by the volume of its contents. And it would be so easy to creosote it too.

    Furthermore, if each invisible nano-shed is bupplied with a pair of binoculars, you can give them to nosey neighbours who wonder what you're putting up in the garden now.

    Tim#3

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  11. Gianni Straniero
    Boffin

    Where do I sign up?

    So, this is an invisible shed that is not invisible in visible light, but is not visible in invisible light?

    Good.

    This means it cannot be seen by that active nightvision equipment used by BBC Bristol to spy on nocturnal animals. At last! From now on, Attenborough can brew his own fucking moonshine and leave me in peace! Mwahahahaha!

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  12. Juan Inamillion
    Coat

    It's no laughing 'matter'

    There used to be a truly wonderful site called 'worldofsheds.com' which, sadly, seems to have demised. I wonder if it's in the waybackwhen machine?

    But there is this site which is having a very good go at replacing this important British cultural heritage reference.

    http://www.readersheds.co.uk/

    Another (non) related site proselytises about electrical pylons.

    http://www.pylons.org/exhibition/

    Sorry, but it's very quiet here today....

    Wibble

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  13. Stevie

    Bah!

    In my day we called these invisible sheds "greenhouses".

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  14. Timo
    Thumb Up

    I have a place where nobody will find me

    I hide from the wife and kids in a place that they have no idea exists in our house - the laundry room!

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  16. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    uncle wilco

    of course it wont me any good adding his shed to the Shed of the Year comp which entry ends this Sunday... www.readersheds.co.uk

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  17. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    I must be old

    Back in my day being taken out to the shed wasn't such a good thing> :-(

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  18. Andy Worth

    One upside.....

    At least you'd have somewhere to hide from a passing "Predator". Arnie would have had a much easier time if instead of having to cake himself in mud he could have just jumped in the shed that is invisible to predators (assuming they don't change their spectrum view.....)

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  19. Niels Rakhorst
    Stop

    pedantry corner

    re: footnote 3, surely a large arse is more easily kicked than a very small one?

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  20. Jonathan McColl
    Coat

    Something nasty in the shed?

    A 'shed' used to a very small unit of area, that googling reminds me is is 1 x 10^-53 square meters. This shed's too small for something nasty to happen in it, but at least no-one would be upset if it did because whatever it was would be invisible.

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  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Parallax and heat generation,

    or at least that's what I put down on Ron Hoeflin's test.

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  22. Marvin the Martian
    Stop

    Wild guesswork

    << Life is often disappointing for the technology enthusiast, unless you're the pathetically easily-pleased kind >>

    That's David Pogue you're talking about, right?

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  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why?

    Why feel the need to hide the shed? The shed has long been the retreat of the henpecked. Females know it is not safe to cross the boundary of the shed unless they wish the contents of the shed to cross the boundary of the kitchen (motorcycle engine on the kitchen table anyone?). Some learn this slowly, but they all eventually learn.

    Also it is not safe to approach anyone who has recently exited from said shed, until they have had a chance to wash their hands.

    Don't tell the misses but my shed has mains electric, a TV, a kettle, a fridge, a nice comfy seat and cat 5 to the house... :-)

    A microwave might be my next addition.

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  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yes, yes, but where's my invisible flying shed? Hmm?*

    *This posted while having a dump of truly epic proportions. Oh yeah.

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  25. Pierre

    Good news

    Soon anyone will be able to think about getting a second shed without facing social oprobe...

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  26. Christopher Ahrens

    I think you just summed up all the users of Web 2.0

    "unless you're the pathetically easily-pleased kind who's impressed by the ability to update your web page while having a dump. "

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  27. skeptical i
    Thumb Up

    @Martin, re: small visible peephole

    Make that peephole an inch in diameter and watch hilarity ensue as people react to the [seemingly] disembodied eye that just walked past (or disembodied other things if the "reverse fig leaf", ahem, takes off).

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  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    easily impressed users

    "...unless you're the pathetically easily-pleased kind who's impressed by the ability to update your web page while having a dump."

    High-velocity coffee -> monitor + keyboard.

    Damn you! I know not to drink hot coffee while reading BOFH (or anything in the Bootnotes section, for added safety!) but physics articles aren't supposed to lead off with something like that!

    We have the 'NSFW' tag (which we know really means "safe for work if you control the web proxy as long as nobody's looking over your shoulder"). How about adding a 'NSFRWDHCIYHASOH' ("Not Safe For Reading While Drinking Hot Coffee If You Have A Sense Of Humour") tag? Ok, sure, it's a bit lengthy, but I offer it with the proper spelling for the Register side of the pond!)

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  29. TeeCee Gold badge

    Re: easily impressed users

    You swine. I'd actually managed to survive, keyboard intact and sense of humour merely tickled, throughout the dump-related exchanges of fire until I hit your post......

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