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back to article Worm burrows into Church of England email system

The Bishop of Manchester has been unable to send or receive email messages for ten days following a computer virus infection. The Rt Rev Nigel McCulloch's PC was hit by malware on March 3. Wider malware-linked problems with the diocese's email systems mean that a sizeable chunk of the 6,000 messages the bishop dispatched over …

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  1. Fluffykins Silver badge

    e-pistles!

    Dear God

    Can I please have a new keyboard and a fresh cup of coffee.

    Love

    Fluffykins.

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    some title should come here

    We've certainly got a couple of Rt ones there.

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  3. Mark
    Thumb Up

    E-pistles

    Ha!

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  4. Paul
    Alien

    Well...

    ...I thought Jesus was their firewall?

    Maybe they should pray their messages really hard and hope God delivers them. He's meant to be everywhere, but not like a series of tubes.

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  5. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    No email

    Act of God

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  6. Jason Togneri

    Um...

    ...and this matters why?

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  7. Michael Smith

    Thats not much spam

    "The diocese receives about a million spam messages a year"

    Don't we all?

    "one virus got through"

    What, only one?

    In my experience PC infections are often the result of browsing pornography on windows. I suggest the Church of England consider using Ubuntu in the future.

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  8. Edward Miles
    Joke

    Heh.

    Jesus saves - But Satan makes backups :)

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  9. Sean Groarke
    Alert

    Damn good thrashing

    "...either been deleted during sending or otherwise thrashed,..."

    Bishop sends thrashing email. Mmmkay.

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  10. NB
    Flame

    well

    WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?

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  11. Michael
    Happy

    The catholic church uses .....

    BSD.;-)

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  12. Long Fei
    Joke

    God will SMITE them!

    The bishop will have the last laugh, knowing these sinners will reside in hell for their spams. Maybe he could make a new sin?

    Thou shalt not send viruses or spam or porn. Well, maybe the porn's okay as long as it's choirboy stuff...

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  13. Dave

    So what got lost?

    Imagine if God had sent him a message and it failed to get through.

    Father, Son and Holey Firewall...

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  14. Paul
    Jobs Horns

    @Michael

    Does that mean BSD makes you touch kids? :D

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  15. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Diet of Worms?

    Surely, the creepy-crawly contaminated clergyman need only go on a Diet of Worms, in order to deal with his problems of corruption!

    Paris, because Martin Luther would nail her to a door too.

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  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    See, Mark

    "Where their worm dieth not..."

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  17. Flugal
    Coat

    Maybe...

    Could it simply have been a dyslexic priest who accidentally searched for "hardcore dog material" perhaps?

    I'll get me cassock...

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  18. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    E-pistle

    Marvelous!

    That is all.

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  19. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Faith-based approach

    So, when their computers get a virus, what do these bishops do?

    a) Gather the congregation and pray that the computers will be divinely healed?

    b) Call for an engineer?

    HA! Science 1, Medieval superstitious bullshit 0 - yet again!

    Even it's highest proponents don't really believe it right down in their heart of hearts.

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  20. Peyton

    Had it coming...

    After all, thou shalt not put thy antivirus, Nortons, to the test.

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  21. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    So this is a case of a computer virus...

    ... stopping the spread of a mental virus.

    At last, virii do something good for humanity!

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  22. Alistair Wall
    Linux

    @AC 15:19

    c) Call the Microsoft helpdesk - Science 0, Medieval superstitious bullshit 1

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  23. Moss Icely Spaceport
    Thumb Down

    All those messages NOT going out.....

    .....and no one noticed for ages.

    Sort of says it all really.

    This medieval superstitious bullshit should have stayed back in the dark dim past.

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  24. josh whelan

    Maybe...

    All this talk of using antivius software, psssh.

    Don't you know that abstinence from malware is the _only_ reliable policy?

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