There's not a lot to say apart from...
What a dick...
Paris; because she has about as many brains cells as this guy. ;)
Authorities suspect a US businessman suffering financial woes is "alive and well" after an unconvincing attempt to fake his own death in a light aircraft crash. Financial advisor Marcus Schrenker, 38, left Anderson, Indiana, on Sunday in a single-engined Piper en route for Florida, the BBC reports. Over Alabama, he radioed in …
Did a 'Crusty' then ?
And for those who don't watch The Simpsons because your straight jacket won't let you changes channels....
Crusty the Clown owed the IRS millions and faked his own death by crashing a light aircraft into a mountain but he had parachuted out just in time. Obviously Bart and Lisa found him and encouraged him to come back. But I'm ruining the plot....
So, is 'canoe' the new name for a parachute?
Surely he would've been better off flogging the plane and getting some cash for it? You can guarantee that no insurance company will pay for a plane that he voluntarily abandoned mid-flight!
Of course, he might have been trying to set up a one-man skydiving school, and just hadn't fully thought it through - I can just imagine someone thinking "bugger, how do I get the plane back?"
File your flight plan for a SOUTH Florida airport -- say somewhere around Tampa/St. Petersburg -- and jump out in Alabama before your flight path crosses the Florida panhandle and heads out over the Gulf of Mexico.
No last message, plane wreckage found in the Gulf, no body found...
Hell... leave a partial package of antihistamines and a half-empty bottle of rum with some clothes in a flight bag so they can come up with a plausible explanation of why you fell asleep, crashed in the ocean, and couldn't make it to shore...!
Honestly! Do I have to think of EVERYTHING around here...?
The idiot should've actually smashed the windshield if he wanted to give some credibility to his claim. Even better: just crash the plane in some mountain without warning everyone ... then it might be possible to make everyone believe he's dead.
Oh, and don't use your dead man's ID as well. Idiot.
Latest update... He has been found and arrested. Apparently since the plane crash plan didn't work as expected, he decided to slash his wrist (singular). He was found near Tallahassee, FL, in a tent at a campground and was arrested. Apparently he actually bailed out of the plane over Alabama, near where he had secreted a motorcycle. In any case, he is now in custody, with a lot of explaining to do.
Paris, because he could have used a loan from her... and a shoulder to cry on.
@Joe: The cops didn't chase him (the cop actually gave him a RIDE to the hotel) because the incident wasn't widely reported yet.
@AC: Yes, the military would indeed have been called to assist in a pre-9/11 world. Reference Payne Stewart's plane crash in 1999:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1999_South_Dakota_Learjet_crash
By the way, for the 9/11 conspiracy nuts out there, was this crash a part of a massive conspiracy to eliminate the golf legend? Note the lack of plane sized pieces in the wreckage, clearly the crater could not be from a plane, right? (oh wait, there's no money in DVD sales pitching that theory... carry on!).
Penguin icon... because they can't fly either.
Surely he could have either (a) turned the autopilot off before jumping, or (b) programmed the autopilot to head towards a suitable crash site.
Oh, and (c) planned it a bit better, i.e. withdrawing what remained of his cash, and leaving his wallet (sans cash, but with ID and bank cards) in the plane.