back to article What the &*%* did you just $#*&!*# say about me, you little &%$#*? 'AI' to filter Xbox Live chat

Microsoft is rolling out a new feature that, it hopes, will filter out rude words in messages sent from Xbox Live users in a bid to make the gaming platform “a place where everyone can have fun.” “We are introducing a new customizable feature that can automatically filter out offensive language to give you more control over …

  1. jake Silver badge

    I know it's possible to have fun ...

    ... without uttering the odd Anglo Saxon expletive, but even the straight-laced among us have got to admit that sometimes swearing makes life a hell of a lot funner!

    1. teknopaul

      Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

      Those four filter options seems like the right approach.

      Ability to turn off ai nanny is key.

      1. nevstah

        Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

        turning on nanny sounds a lot more disturbing

        1. Fungus Bob
          Happy

          Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

          sounds like fun here

    2. Nick Kew
      Thumb Up

      Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

      Indeed, though it can also detract from fun if someone is swearing unpleasantly.

      Not-swearing can also contribute to fun. Devising words to get around a filter, sharing a joke of pink marshmallows substituted by a filter, and a collective shaking of heads at the idiocy of a filter, can contribute positively to a community.

      The shared joke or the common enemy bring people together.

    3. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

      Sometimes swearing does indeed make life better, but insulting other people never does.

      1. Robert Helpmann??
        Childcatcher

        Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

        Sometimes swearing does indeed make life better, but insulting other people never does.

        Should I infer from this that you have never driven in traffic? I find it helpful to let my fellow drivers know they are full of <prunes> from time to time and that they are a bunch of <porcine fanciers> while simultaneously indicating through various methods that they should take time to indulge in some <self love>. All meant to be in good fun, of course.

        Wondering if the Xbox Live filtering system will look similar.

      2. Nick Kew
        Trollface

        Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

        Sometimes swearing does indeed make life better, but insulting other people never does.

        Interesting proposition there. Might one not infer from the case of Wowbagger that insulting other people is at least associated with longer life?

        1. veti Silver badge

          Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

          As I recall it, Wowbagger only took to insulting people after he discovered he was immortal, as a way to pass the time. So, the causality works the other way there.

    4. Stevie

      Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

      I know that bleeping out swearing makes whatever is being said infinitely funnier.

      1. veti Silver badge

        Re: I know it's possible to have fun ...

        I'm Sorry, I Haven't A ****?

  2. sbt
    Windows

    Same rules apply as for idiot-proofing. There'll always be a bigger idiot.

    It'll be good for creative writing expression, until the banned word list grows too large and you won't be able to request a team-mate to shut the front door.

    Of course, these sweet-smelling, delightful and imaginative geniuses will need to work on their sarcasm filters.

  3. Blockchain commentard

    So, a new insult will be "you little friendy filter"?

    1. jake Silver badge

      Why not?

      We all Read The Friendly Manual, right?

  4. Blackjack Silver badge

    Lingo!

    People will just get more creative with their insults, that's it.

    You sleep with your mother.

    You are the contrary of smart.

    You are the rear end of a donkey.

    Your mother works in the oldest profession in the world.

    1. Kane

      Re: Lingo!

      "Your mother works in the oldest profession in the world."

      Your father smelt of elderberries!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All forms of censorship sux!

    Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberies!

    1. Chris G

      Re: All forms of censorship sux!

      I'm wondering a out the 21 languages, are they going to apply the filters through direct translation? A language like Spanish is full of swearwords in everyday speech that, translated directly into English would likely result in fisticuffs, so applied inthe other direction would rob Spanish of all it's colour.

      Bring on the bright white new world where nothing is offensive, nobody gets angry or excited and we all conform to someone else's idea of good behaviour.

      Fuck that!

      1. MiguelC Silver badge

        Re: All forms of censorship sux!

        Your comment is trully ¡de puta madre!

        1. Chris G

          Re: All forms of censorship sux!

          De aquerdo, Hombre!

      2. A K Stiles

        Re: All forms of censorship sux!

        Never mind the different languages - try the same language based in an alternative culture - e.g. there are phrases in general use by many Irish folks that you wouldn't consider uttering in polite company in England.

        1. Blackjack Silver badge

          Re: All forms of censorship sux!

          Spanish would be complicated.

          For example, Chile is both the name of a country in South America and a way to say male genitalia in some other South American countries.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't forget about your Pi-hole!

    Looks like Raspian (Debian for Raspberry Pi's) also received this update.

    (Although I'm not sure what effect the patch has on a system already running as root user?)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Don't forget about your Pi-hole!

      Please disregard the above^^^^

      It was meant to be posted here:

      https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/10/14/linux_sudo_security_bug/

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. DJV Silver badge

        Re: Don't forget about your Pi-hole!

        Um... You do realise you can do this ^^^, don't you?

  7. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Emily Post

    Dear Net-Mail User:

    Your mailbox has just been rifled by EmilyPost, an autonomous courtesy-worm chain program released in October 2036 by an anonymous group of net subscribers in western Alaska ([]ref: sequestered confession 592864 -2376298.96534, deposited with Bank Leumi 10/23/36:20:34:21. Expiration-disclosure 10 years.] Under the civil disobedience sections of the Charter of Rio, we accept in advance the fines and penalties that will come due when our confession is released in 2046...

    In brief, dear friend, you are not a very polite person. EmilyPost's syntax analysis routines show that a very high fraction of your net exchanges are heated, vituperative, even obscene.

    Of course you enjoy free speech. But EmilyPost has been designed by people who are concerned about the recent trend toward excessive nastiness in some parts of the net...

    Of course, should you insist on continuing as before, disseminating nastiness in all directions, we have equipped EmilyPost with other options you'll soon find out about...

    David Brin, Earth

  8. Giovani Tapini
    FAIL

    Ive encountered this type of service before...

    1. It encourages more creativity in use of language (arguably good for the kids) or new acronyms making it a permanent vortex of increased sensitivity

    2. Some services are so strict even use of the term "admin" is banned (seriously...) I know people have their attitudes but treating the term itself as an expletive...

    3. for people that do find ways round it, I have also found you can't even report the perps because the logging system follows different rules.

    4. eventually you will end up with moderators... live with it.

    5. the AI wont detect any bad language used by the games themselves. YOU can't drop the f bomb, but the game can... this can already get youtube confused...

    1. Psmo

      Re: Ive encountered this type of service before...

      I have been a member of a forum that used word and phrase substitution.

      It became a bit of a game to the find all the banana-loving, apple-chewing friendly things.

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

        Re: Ive encountered this type of service before...

        I recall a forum that used 'gently caress' as a replacement phrase. It made for interesting reading.

  9. DJV Silver badge

    Scunthorpe!

    I wonder if that famous location will be affected by a profanity filter yet again?

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Scunthorpe!

      Not to mention Penistone, Cockfosters, and the others.

  10. Sgt_Oddball
    Windows

    For sooth....

    Thou art a mumblecrust, who's capacity for muck-sproutting hath met no end. Thine mother is a gobermouth and yonder father is a Fopdoodle.

    Now away with you before I finish the complete works of Shakespeare for better insults. I bite my thumb at thee, Sir!

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: For sooth....

      Here's a quick list that I swiped from elsewhere... Sgt Oddball opened the path

      1. ABYDOCOMIST

      Abydos was a city in Ancient Egypt whose inhabitants, according to one 19th century dictionary, “were famous for inventing slanders and boasting of them.” Whether that’s true or not, the name Abydos is the origin of abydocomist—a liar who brags about their lies.

      2. BEDSWERVER

      An adulterer. Another of Shakespeare’s inventions that became popular in Victorian slang.

      3. BESPAWLER

      To bespawl means to spit or dribble. A bespawler is a slobbering person, who spits when he talks.

      4. BOBOLYNE

      An old Tudor English word for a fool. Coined by the 15th-16th century poet John Skelton (who was one of Henry VIII’s schoolteachers).

      5. CUMBERWORLD

      Also called a cumberground—someone who is so useless, they just serve to take up space.

      6. DALCOP

      Cop is an old word for the head, making a dalcop (literally a “dull-head”) a particularly stupid person. You can also be a harecop, or a “hare-brained” person.

      7. DEW-BEATER

      An 18th century word for an especially large shoe, and consequently a clumsy or awkward person.

      8. DORBEL

      As well as being another name for a nincompoop, a dorbel is a petty, nit-picking teacher. It’s derived from the name of an old French scholar named Nicolas d’Orbellis, who was well known as a supporter of the much-derided philosopher John Duns Scotus (whose followers were the original “dunces”).

      9. DRATE-POKE

      An old English dialect word for someone who drawls or speaks indistinctly.

      10. DRIGGLE-DRAGGLE

      An untidy woman.

      11. FOPDOODLE

      An insignificant or foolish man.

      12. FUSTYLUGS

      According to the Oxford English Dictionary, this term for “a woman of gross or corpulent habit” is derived from fusty, in the sense of something that’s gone off or gone stale.

      13. FUSTILARIAN

      Another of Shakespeare’s best put-downs, coined in Henry IV, Part 2: "Away, you scullion! You rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe," Falstaff exclaims. If not just a variation of fustylugs, he likely meant it to mean someone who stubbornly wastes time on worthless things.

      14. GILLIE-WET-FOOT

      An old Scots word for a swindling businessman, or someone who gets into debt and then flees.

      15. GNASHGAB

      An 18th century northern English word for someone who only ever seems to complain.

      16. GOBERMOUCH

      An old Irish word for a nosy, prying person who likes to interfere in other people’s business.

      17. GOWPENFUL-O’-ANYTHING

      A gowpen is the bowl formed by cupping your hands together, while a gowpenful-o’-anything is “a contemptuous term applied to one who is a medley of everything absurd,” according to the English Dialect Dictionary.

      18. KLAZOMANIAC

      Someone who only seems able to speak by shouting.

      19. LEASING-MONGER

      A leasing is an old word for an untruth or falsehood, making a leasing-monger or a leasing-maker a habitual liar.

      20. LOITER-SACK

      This is a 17th century term for a slacker. An idling, lazy good-for-nothing. Literally, someone who seems to spend all day in bed.

      1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: For sooth....

        Congratulations, that is an impressive list.

        I will keep that as reference material :)

        1. Sgt_Oddball
          Headmaster

          Re: For sooth....

          Along with a copy of the Rogers Profanisaurus no doubt?

          1. Chris G

            Re: For sooth....

            A profanisaurus should be a very rude lizard?

      2. Sherrie Ludwig
        Pint

        Re: For sooth....

        A noble list, sir! >>>>>

  11. Matthew 3

    "The Good Place" showed how this would (n't) work

    The whole idea is forking stupid, invented by ash-holes, and is a load of bullshirt.

    1. tanglefoot

      Re: "The Good Place" showed how this would (n't) work

      On the contrary. A Good Place Xbox filter would be forking hilarious.

  12. lee harvey osmond

    'once the kinks have been worked out'

    That's an unfortunate turn of phrase, right there ...

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