Pants-purveyor in plea for popularity: It's not just any pork push... it's an M&S 'love sausage'

Well, the female assistants in my local M&S weren't amused when I went around asking them where they put their love sausages - surprised I wasn't kicked out.

That's nothing...

You should see the size of the black pudding version!

Of course, one could argue that this isn't just any love sausage. This is an M&S love sausage.

No, it's my love sausage.

missed opportunity

should have packed it with a couple of meatballs

Pants means kecks up north.

I dont know what everyones laughing about.

I dont know if people realise that a heart is more of a diamond shape. The only part of the human anatomy that is generally heart shaped is male with one eye. People have been sending trouser selfies to each other for centuries now,

Not pants, knickers.

Years ago M&S called in the consultants to find out what they were doing wrong. The consultants found a lot of little empires and turf wars and came up with a lot of suggestions to encourage co-operative working. Their summary of the situation at M&S was "Bras don't even talk to knickers."

The IoT will doubtless change that eventually.

The ex wife

Has a heart shaped void.

> two slightly bent sausages gently touching tips

Well at least they're not leaving out the LGBT groups now...

Good to see they're being inclusive!

M&S Love Sausage...

Are they taking the St. Michael?

M&S and MS

Given that we have two top stories about Transparent Crassness In Marketing, from Microsoft's thuddingly stupid attempt to con people into using Office36x*¹ to Marks & Spencer's juvenile double entendre, can we at last agree that an eminently practical solution to pollution and scarce resources would be to humanely dispose of all advertising, marketing and sales persons on the planet? I know it seems extreme, but we'll save oxygen and food, reduce CO₂ emissions, provide valuable fertiliser for reforestation and raise the entire species' mean IQ by at least ten points.

You know it makes sense.

(Oh, all right, we could retrain a few of them, but there isn't that much demand for dog walkers.)

*¹ Where x gets continually smaller

What a carry on

Why didn't they extend this idea to other sections in the food hall, e.g. seafood?

Say it with crabs– tag who you’ll be sharing your crabs with this Valentine's Day!

Also, the etrernally popular fruitt & veg based innuendo : plums, melons, etc..

What kind of "bacon" is that?

It certainly doesn't look like anything I've ever seen on a plate with eggs, mushrooms, and baked beans in England. Marks and Sparks should be ashamed.

But it does look like bacon pretty much every where else in the world.

Sorry, I'm holding out for something special - Feb15th: discount chocolate day.

I make my own sausages, gluten free and generally nicer than most supermarket versions. I had two pork with cider soaked apples with mash, 'shrooms and veg for my tea last night. I can see how you could make one of these. Having filled your casings instead of making standard links you make long links and mould them thus letting them sit for a few hours as you would with normal links to allow them to 'set'. Then wrap with bacon and et voila! the constituents of a 'love sausage'. Should you feel the urge to go there.

Note if using natural pork casings you would use the natural curve of these in forming the shapes. Failure to do so would I expect result in unpleasant reshaping during the heat of preparation. I would use natural casings for this purpose for that very reason, reasoning that meat eaters happy with extra porky goodness in the bacon wrappings would not be put off by that. M&S in their tradition keeping mode would also be more likely to got there than say Tesco or Asda who have to worry about worried customers with queasier stomachs.

Besides I find natural casings much easier to work with than the collagen or vegetarian equivalents.

If I can find sufficient cheap short date chook I might make some more of my Thai style chicken bangers, modelled on ones I had back in Auckland, NZ. Nicely spicy hot with lemongrass, galangal and fish sauce. Those I do put in collagen casings as I think they work best as straight sausages.