back to article Boffins don't give a sh!t, slap Trump's face on a turd in science journal

A pair of boffins are in hot water after the image of president Donald Trump made an unexpected cameo in a paper on how to gather animal DNA from their poop at scale. The paper, which was published in Scientific Reports, discusses the difficulties of gaining high-quality DNA samples from wild animals in a non-invasive way. …

  1. sorry, what?
    Devil

    A "job" well done

    'nuff said.

  2. Semtex451
    Coat

    Thanks for the close-up of the image in question...

    I can plainly see Trump but where is the image of the turd?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Someone really had to give a shit to find that image. If it had been Trump's telltale orange color, it would be understandable.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Someone really had to give a shit to find that image. If it had been Trump's telltale orange color, it would be understandable."

        As everyone knows, the color of shite darkens when exposed to the atmosphere. It probably did come out orange, but turned brown by the time they posted the report.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's important that the editors log any changes to the image.

      1. Mark 85

        It's important that the editors log any changes to the image.

        So a log for a log about what's on the log then.

    3. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Meh

      what would happen if I'd put Obama's face on a turd in a scientific journal? Or Mrs. Clinton? Or Nancy Pelosi? And so on.

      Yeah no hypocrisy nor academic arrogance to see here. Jedi business. Move along.

      1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

        I'd have laughed, but then I'm not a snowflake.

      2. Avatar of They
        Thumb Down

        If they had been monumental steaming dumps I would have laughed and upvoted it, but Obama actually was pretty good and well received around the world. Neither of them made enemies of their allies, start trade wars, separate babies from parents, tear gas immigrants, bend the law to suit his needs and tear up international treaties on short range nuclear weapons, climate and the Hague.

        Not to mention he (and his policies) has been laughed at twice by the UN.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          A 'Trump' often preceeds a Turd .... so I have been told !!!

          Avatar of They,

          "If they ... laughed at twice by the UN"

          And now 3 times !!! :)

          [I haven't finished laughing at 'number 2' ...... perhaps it was a clever reference to that !!!??? ;) :) ]

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Obama's face

        @bombastic bob - "what would happen if I'd put Obama's face on a turd in a scientific journal? Or Mrs. Clinton? Or Nancy Pelosi? And so on"

        There would have been an article reporting that someone put their picture on a turd in a scientific paper, you would have made some triumphant smug comment in the accompanying thread, and the world would continue to revolve as before, much like now.

        The only difference would be that Trump actually is a steaming turd.

      4. ProbablyUnknown

        If you beat the insurmountable odds to become a scientist, capable of writing papers (not doodling with crayons) and a Trump supporter, that in and of itself would be news worthy and I'd gladly eat crow. But lets be honest for a second. Trump supporters "ain't got's the time for all that science kinda stuffs".

  3. }{amis}{
    Go

    LOL

    That's the closest that trumps ever been to something intelligent!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This is why we should give a shit about science.

  5. redpawn

    Sh

    it's a tribute not an insult to our LSoT (Lying Sack of Trump)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They have to retract the article...

    The turd complained about being compared to Trump. /rimshot.

    1. steelpillow Silver badge

      Re: They have to retract the article...

      Yeah, it has apparently retained star of South Park, Mr. Hanky, as its lawyer.

  7. J27

    Yeah...

    "Leader of the Free World", seriously?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yeah...

      No, not really. Bush put American prestige in the ground, and Obama covered it over.

      Still, the question is an interesting one. Any society can easily determine its rulers by understanding who they're not allowed to mock. People have been brutally mocking Trump since before he was even elected and nobody's been sent to jail for it, so it's pretty obvious that he's not ruling anybody.

      So if not him, who exactly is ruling you?

      1. Tomato42

        Re: Yeah...

        as if Repugnants haven't been mocking Obama's Tan Suit, his choice of mustard and Michelle's bare shoulders

        Ah, right, I forgot, people in science and entertainment are allowed to have an opinion on politics only if it agrees with Repugnant world-view.

        > Any society can easily determine its rulers by understanding who they're not allowed to mock

        > So if not him, who exactly is ruling you?

        clearly, it's the kids with stage three cancer

      2. DavCrav

        Re: Yeah...

        "Any society can easily determine its rulers by understanding who they're not allowed to mock. People have been brutally mocking Trump since before he was even elected and nobody's been sent to jail for it, so it's pretty obvious that he's not ruling anybody.

        So if not him, who exactly is ruling you?"

        Erm, just because he cannot jail you for mocking him, doesn't mean he isn't abusing his power. It's actually the other way round, where he's trying to get people who should be in jail out of it. Like Flynn, and more recently, himself.

      3. Trilkhai

        Re: Yeah...

        Any society can easily determine its rulers by understanding who they're not allowed to mock. People have been brutally mocking Trump since before he was even elected and nobody's been sent to jail for it, so it's pretty obvious that he's not ruling anybody.

        Being a leader is completely different from being a ruler. (Edit: not defending our current Pres at all, just pointing out that "leader of the free world" would be an entirely different thing from the slightly oxymoronic "ruler of the free world.")

        1. tojb

          Re: Yeah...

          Trump is always suing or threatening to sue. You had indeed better be careful about mocking him, if you have anything to lose.

        2. hmv

          Re: Yeah...

          Well it does depend on whether you're marked with lines every cm (or inch if you insist).

      4. Mark 85

        Re: Yeah...

        People have been brutally mocking Trump since before he was even elected and nobody's been sent to jail for it, so it's pretty obvious that he's not ruling anybody.

        It's not because he won't but because he can't do that. Othewise, a certain late night Saturday comedy show would have it's cast behind bars if Mr. Presidents Tweets are to be believed.

        FTR, it is quite acceptable to hate the person in the office as long as you respect the office. I've hated more than one President from both parties. Much like the military, you may hate the guy with the gold on his collar but you do respect that position.

      5. Lord M4x

        Re: Yeah...

        No, not jail, because that would be unconstitutional.

        However, banned from Whitehouse, disendorsed by POTUS publicly, Boycotted, belittled and investigated? Yes. By Adolf Mussolini Don.

        No sense of humour. Or balance.

    2. Ken Shabby
      Angel

      Re: Yeah...

      "Number Two Leader of the Free World", surely.

  8. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Not bad, but the last one was better

    Typing idiot into Google and getting pictures of Trump was funny the first time I came across it, but the fact that congress had to ask why is still hilarious.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not bad, but the last one was better

      Asking why helped KEEP it at the top of the search results for idiot, by making the link between the two words stronger thanks to all the articles that resulted from that exchange.

      1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

        Re: Not bad, but the last one was better

        And they say that Americans don't understand irony.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Not bad, but the last one was better

          @Ken Hagan

          Or the Streisand effect.

  9. ukgnome

    Looks like Trump

    Tastes like Trump

    ugh why do i know what Trumps tastes like

  10. IGnatius T Foobar !
    Thumb Down

    Very disrespectful

    This is very disrespectful. The political left loves to slap its opponents with the "hate" label but then they go and do things like this. Respect goes both ways, people.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Very disrespectful

      Except in the US you have no political left. There is a conservative party and a reactionary one...

    2. Mark 108

      Re: Very disrespectful

      Respect is earned!

    3. elDog

      Re: Very disrespectful

      Upvote since your sarcasm was very well hidden.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Very disrespectful

      Because the republicans were SO respectful of Obama when he was president...

      1. P. Lee

        Re: Very disrespectful

        >Because the republicans were SO respectful of Obama when he was president...

        Not my country so I don't care, but I don't remember Obama being the subject of playground slurs.

        They certainly disagreed with his politics, but I don't really remember such childish behaviour.

        Don't get me wrong, it is funny, but in a way appreciated by those in kindergarten.

        1. Tom 35

          Re: Very disrespectful

          "Not my country so I don't care, but I don't remember Obama being the subject of playground slurs."

          Just google Obama + monkey in google images to refresh your memory.

          Or try obama + effigy

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Very disrespectful

      You mean like sleeping with his second wife on his first wife or sleeping with his third wife on his second wife or sleeping with a porn star on his third. If I missed something about respect please let me know.

      1. Teiwaz

        Re: Very disrespectful

        the sacred state of matress

        You mean like sleeping with his second wife on his first wife or sleeping with his third wife on his second wife....

        Very patient of them to keep still, even if the act took mere seconds.

    6. Blank Reg

      Re: Very disrespectful

      When has the orange idiot ever done anything worthy of respect?

    7. sisk

      Re: Very disrespectful

      I'm no fan of Trump, but IGnatius is right. There's lack of respect (and make no mistake, I have no respect for Trump) and there there's juvenile disrespect. This, though funny, is an example of the latter and in my opinion has no place in any dignified publication. Scientific papers should be above this sort of nonsense.

      Also, just because Republicans were turds to Obama does not make it cool for Democrats to be turds to Trump. No matter how much of a turd Trump himself may be.

      1. This is my handle
        Flame

        Re: Very disrespectful

        I almost upvoted you until I considered the disrespect our Mango Mussolini has shown *science*. And journalism. And democracy ....

        I don't think respect is earned. I grant a modicum of respect to everyone I meet. I give them the benefit of the doubt. Disrespect is earned, and the Don has been earning it since the beginning of his public life, and continues to do so with every speech, every tweet.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Very disrespectful

          I didn't recognise that as a reference to Obama, but from the context that must be what a 'mango Mussolini' is.

          Why not put on a white pointy hat and call him a dumb N....?

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: respect goes both ways

      you see, this is the problem with dis-respect. Once you start flinging it about, lo, a pile lands on your face. And it only goes downhill from there :/

    9. Lars Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Very disrespectful

      What this shows is not disrespect but respect towards the presidency.

    10. Avatar of They
      FAIL

      Re: Very disrespectful

      Respect is earned, he hasn't earned it.

    11. ProbablyUnknown

      Re: Very disrespectful

      Surely, you can't compare clever jokes to a total lack of decency and gross human rights violations?

    12. P. Lee

      Re: Very disrespectful

      >Respect goes both ways, people.

      Looking at the downvotes, apparently it doesn't, and neither does civility.

      Which kind of proves the point you were making.

      Irony anyone?

    13. hmv

      Re: Very disrespectful

      He gets the respect he deserves.

      The US has a left-wing? Don't make me laugh.

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

      It was, and many other egregious droppings also. If you have previously missed noticing the long-term odiousness of "his base", just read the comments at the end of most any Fox News article.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

      Lets be honest here, Obama wasn't a steaming pile of shit.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

        > "Obama wasn't a steaming pile of shit."

        Correct, and neither is Trump, but you would not know that from reading this thread. The prank itself is pretty harmless, if juvenile in the extreme for supposed scientists, but the response here is a bit more interesting. It's like some people just can't get their day started without a good Trump bashing session.

        If that's so, then I hope they have a fine day for it, but I wouldn't wish that kind of life on anyone.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

          I apologise for being a libtard snowflake that actually gives a shit about the planet and everything else. It's just that I can't say fuck you to the rest of my fellow humans. Keep that special place close because at some point socialism or communism is going to get the better my american fiend.

          1. NLCSGRV

            Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

            Socialism and Communism have proven themselves to be brutal, dystopian, totalitarian systems of government. Dont tell me. They weren't "real socialism" or "real communism".

            1. sisk

              Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

              Socialism and Communism have proven themselves to be brutal, dystopian, totalitarian systems of government. Dont tell me. They weren't "real socialism" or "real communism".

              Communism, yes. Socialism, no. They are not the same thing, and many socialist nations function quite well. In fact all of the top 10 happiest nations on Earth according to the 2018 World Happiness Report are socialist democracies. So no, socialism is not brutal, dystopian, or totalitarian.

              1. P. Lee

                Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

                None of the top 10 are socialist. They are capitalist democracies with extensive social programs. There is a significant difference between the two systems.

                Sweden in particular is known for vehemently denying that they are socialist.

                /note to self, do not feed trolls

              2. Clunking Fist

                Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

                "and many socialist nations function quite well."

                Name one (hint: Scandinavian countries are not socialist. They are capitalist countries with strong social programmes.)

            2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

              Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

              Socialism and Communism have proven themselves to be brutal, dystopian, totalitarian systems of government

              As have many right-wing governments - many of them supported by the US..

              Hint: It's not the political system that's at fault - it's the people ruling. Power corrupts and all that..

            3. Tom 35

              Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

              They weren't "socialism or communism". No "real" required. The problem with communism is it's unstable because there is nothing to stop one guy from taking all the cookies at which point it is no longer communist. Libertarians have the same problem, everyone is supposed to be free but it applauds taking all the cookies as a sign of success and you are back to your dystopian wonderland.

          2. Clunking Fist

            Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

            "I apologise for being a libtard snowflake that actually gives a shit about the planet "

            So the fact that the USA is the only industrialised country to REDUCE CO2 emissions must please you? (Yes I know Trump is not responsible, but capitalism is: it is cheaper and cleaner to frack gas and turn your back on coal. Yet members of your beloved EU get to build coal fired power stations: Poland, Germany. So get a grip.)

            1. sisk

              Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

              So the fact that the USA is the only industrialised country to REDUCE CO2 emissions must please you?

              You wouldn't happen to have a source for that would you? That'd be a study I'd be interested in reading.

            2. Jamie Jones Silver badge

              Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

              "So the fact that the USA is the only industrialised country to REDUCE CO2 emissions must please you?"

              Please note, this isn't Fox forums. You can't get away with posting bullshit.

              Readers here will either know it's bullshit, or will fact-check your claim.

              https://grist.org/briefly/which-country-is-doing-the-most-to-reduce-its-carbon-emissions/ - Hint, not the USA.

              https://www.wri.org/blog/2016/04/roads-decoupling-21-countries-are-reducing-carbon-emissions-while-growing-gdp - 21countries! Yes, USA is one of them (just), but you 'forgot' the other 20.

              https://www.cntraveler.com/gallery/countries-doing-the-most-to-fight-climate-change - USA not mentioned at all.

              But don't worry, the USA isn't the only country to not meet its own climate goals

              However, Trump must be number 1: https://climateactiontracker.org/countries/usa/:

              "The Trump Administration has spent 2018 systematically gutting US federal climate policy. If the proposed actions are fully implemented, greenhouse gas emissions projections for the year 2030 could increase by up to 400 MtCO2e[1] over what was projected when Pres. Trump entered office. That’s almost as much as the entire state of California emitted in 2016.

              0/10 - Must try harder

            3. Lotaresco
              Boffin

              Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

              "So the fact that the USA is the only industrialised country to REDUCE CO2 emissions must please you?"

              That sort of claim is so easy to debunk. When you say "only industrialised country to REDUCE (sic) CO2 emissions" all someone needs to do is to provide evidence that a single industrialised country has reduced CO2 emissions and you end up with egg on your face. Not only that, but if the USA has actually increased its CO2 emissions you end up egged from head to foot.

              Consider yourself egged. The UK has reduced its CO2 emissions from 600Mt to 379Mt, a 36% reduction, and is on target to meet its Second Carbon budget (internationally agreed) emissions. Meanwhile the USA's CO2 emissions have *increased* from the 1990 baseline (5 billion tonnes in 1990, 5.2 billion tonnes currently).

              I suggest that you do a little bit of research before making bold statements and that you cease obtaining your news from the US propaganda machine.

        2. holmegm

          Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

          Seriously. Even in Orwell's dystopian nightmare the hate sessions were only two minutes, for pete's sake.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

            " Even in Orwell's dystopian nightmare the hate sessions were only two minutes, [...]"

            Charlie Chaplin made a 2 hour feature film in the USA mocking the leader of another country in 1940***. It cost $2m and grossed $11m - with five Oscar nominations.

            ***at which time the USA was a neutral country.

            1. sisk

              Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

              To be fair I don't think you'd find many people willing to defend the particular leader he was mocking, especially in hindsight.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

                "To be fair I don't think you'd find many people willing to defend the particular leader he was mocking, [...]"

                The parallels are there. Appealing to a section of a population suffering economic hardship - and blaming that deprivation on minorities and other countries. Promising to make the country great again. Regular rallies of supporters with inflammatory speeches. Trying to suppress any criticism in the press. Trying to override the independence of the judiciary. Hiring and firing people on a whim. Breaking international trade and arms control agreements. Faking news.

              2. Tom 35

                Re: Curious precedent on what is allowed

                "To be fair I don't think you'd find many people willing to defend the particular leader he was mocking, especially in hindsight."

                The key word there is hindsight. If you look at 1940 you would be surprised at the support. Look at some of the stuff coming out of America First at the time for instants. There were a lot of people who thought he was on the right track. The "alt right" of the time was alive and well much like today and that movie pissed off a lot of people.

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Because When I'm Contemplating the Serious Issues of the Day...

    ...I always ask myself, "Where do the shit scientists stand on this?"

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    just in case the powers that be make some edits

    edits? What edits?! This never ever happened. And that piece in the dropbox, well, that's obviously FAKE NEWS! Anybody can take a piece of freely available data and make anything out of it, right?! So you'd better stop suggesting / reporting anything, or else our lawyers should write you an angry, angry letter.

    p.s. and no, there's no place for humo(ur) in the world of science. Particularly when it's about flow of money from the baboons to the world of science!

  15. Tom 35

    Pareidolia

    If Jebus can appear on toast, tree rings and driveway oil stains then whey can't Trump show up on a turd?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Pareidolia

      Depends on whether he pisses on it in a Russian hotel.

    2. Killing Time

      Re: Pareidolia

      Very good point and a reasonable defence. It's arguable who the arrangement of pixels resembles if you really want to get down to it.

  16. Simon Harris
    Coat

    "Indeed, some questioned why it hadn't been spotted in peer review."

    They were looking for the wrong type of excreta.

    It would never have been spotted in pee-r review...

    Only the people in poo-r review would have found it.

    Mine's the one with the hand sanitiser in the pocket --------->

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fake News!

    We know Trump is more of a watersports devotee than a scat man.

    1. Tom 35

      Re: Fake News!

      Na na na na na na Scat man!

      1. Omgwtfbbqtime
        Thumb Up

        Re: Fake News!

        Stop being faecetious (spelling deliberate)

  18. Muscleguy

    Humour in Science

    I have a slide of a maturing secondary myotube (immature embyronic muscle fibre) in cross-section in the electron microscope. I talk about the fact it is a maturing secondary, then pause and say ‘it’s also a duck in an egg’ which lets the audience laugh. The nucleus has in x-section taken on the shape of a duck (rubber variety) sitting in an egg shaped cell. It even has an eye spot, condensed chromatin (protein wrapped dan) is dark and a spot of it is in the right place for an eye.

    I have a set of large format negatives, all show different nucleus animals, I have a goldfish with flowing fins and a rhinoceros amongst others. All were found in muscle cross sections of the mouse mutant I was studying. So they are my micro mutant muscle menagerie.

    It demonstrates the human tendency to pareidolia and that if you never see the light side of life in your work you are a very sad sap.

  19. Tomato42

    "did complain that it was unethical and immature"

    I'm quite sure that "unethical" and "immature" are the least significant offences that Agent Orange has committed.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How absolutely and undeniably clever and witty ! Those scientists must be amongst the most intelligent and totally amazing of their whole generation. I stand in awe of their ability to arise above being mere shit scientists.

  21. Florida1920

    Too late

    14 December 2018 Editors’ Note: The editors have become aware of unusual aspects to the ‘Extract fecal DNA’ illustration in figure 1. We are investigating, and appropriate editorial action will be taken once the matter is resolved.
    https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-20427-9#change-history

    Wimps.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I was disgusted by the image

    But not the poo

  23. ghp

    what's wrong

    with a picture of the poo-resident?

    1. Mark 85
      Coat

      Re: what's wrong

      Would that be the poo-bah? I'll get my coat....

  24. Rik Myslewski

    Hey I’ve got a wacky idea!

    How about if The Reg starts to detail how Trump’s science denialism is actually hurting us all, and refrains from merely publishing some li’l piece that simply points out his idiocy?

  25. Potemkine! Silver badge

    "the leader of the free world"

    ROTFL!

  26. Jtom

    Reading these comments I now more fully understand why so many in the UK fear self-government. Most here are juvenile morons in need of an adult from the continent to tell them how to live. How sad that a once-proud, small island country that once ruled over much of the world has fallen so low.

    1. Killing Time

      @Jtom

      Yes,in line with the subject matter a lot of the comments on this thread are purile. What that has to do with our politics I have no idea.

      It doesn't take a European to point that out. West or East.

      You need a far better command of the language to avoid your trolling attempt being so obvious.

      I'm willing to bet you probably had 'must do better' on your school report.

    2. Adrian 4

      Indeed, that describes precisely one (of several) reasons I supported Remain.

      Our political classes are quite simply incompetent and I don't see us being able to produce better than the EU (for all its faults) any time soon.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Mostly True (sort of) :) ;)

      Jtom,

      I agree (sort of) totally with your post and so would many UK citizens ..... BUT that is because WE can/do laugh at ourselves or how others see us without getting upset.... (most of the time, although some do lose their sense of humour sometimes.)

      If you understood 'British Humour' you would understand we say worse things about our politicians !!!

      This has been the case for centuries and is part of our national character, ditto the Aussies :)

      Anyone who is worth being 'bought down a peg or two' is open for attack.

      One of the greatest indicators of friendship in much of the UK is that you can totally talk to your 'Best Friends etc' in a way which would get you a 'broken nose' anywhere else.

      You 'get' as much as you 'give' and everyone laughs it off.

      (Many a foreign visitor has thought there would be a fight when two or more friends greet each other in this way in say a pub or club. !!!)

      The US of A has always been sensitive to political criticism and/or lampooning, particularly in jest, laughing it off would cost nothing and totally defuse the situation whereas 'Mr Trump' is known for his less than thick skin.

      A 'Crappy' joke ;) will not hurt him, while an over reaction does.

      1. Kiwi

        Re: Mostly True (sort of) :) ;)

        "...'Mr Trump' is known for his less than thick skin."

        Mebbe all that thickness went to his head?

  27. Milton

    Missed opportunity

    Would have been more fun to take advantage of Trump's comprehensive and wide-ranging ignorance: the 'man' has to be one of the least knowledgeable and dumbest in history to have achieved federal elected office, and in the USA, whose politicians are even more clueless than here in the UK, that is scraping the bottom of a startlingly deep barrel.

    I'd have gone for a serious article discussing shit in such a way and using such terminology that a semiliterate layman wouldn't immediately realise that the central topic was, indeed, shit. Then find an excuse to put a flattering picture of Trump on the cover (there has to be one, somewhere ... perhaps captured in soft light on one of the rare occasions when the anus-cum-mouth is not vomiting spite and lies), justified by a vaguely supportive, anodyne caption like "Importance of science in the Trump era" or somesuch.

    Now Trump is so egotistically needy that he has concocted fake Time magazine covers of his face to be displayed at his buildings—I mean, how much more pathetic can you get?—so he'll surely want these latest important publications, apparently featuring his imprimatur, prominently framed at his premises.

    An enlarged copy of the cover of American Faecal Research Papers IV (headline article: The Effects of Excess Bilirubin Levels on Human Skin Tone), in the lobby of Trump Tower, with the Orange Cretin's face gurning out from it? C'mon, science: there's still time for a Christmas present to the world ....

    ... nil constipandum.

  28. Andytug
    Joke

    I thought it was

    a surprisingly polished piece of work...

  29. Joe User
    Coat

    No peer review?

    "Indeed, some questioned why it hadn't been spotted in peer review."

    Because Trump shit doesn't bear close scrutiny....

  30. steelpillow Silver badge
    Joke

    The real truth

    "This was just an unfortunate accident. We wanted to draw out the common sequence of breaking wind, in which there is little DNA, followed shortly by a number two, in which there is plenty. They can feel a lot the same while they are on the way, and sometimes even arrive almost simultaneously. So we searched online for an image of a "fart or trump" and photoshopped it onto the end of a faecal stool. We had absolutely no idea that the image bore the slightest resemblance to our esteemed President, this has come as big a shock to us as to everybody else. Now, can we please keep our jobs, Your Honour?"

  31. This post has been deleted by its author

  32. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    ...once the matter is resolved...

    That is, once his matenure in office is over?

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like