...it would probably taste like Daz or fizzy grapefruit
What if tech moguls brewed real ale?
The fine people at CAMRA are also fans of The Register, and are giving away both free and discount tickets for possibly one of the greatest shows on Earth: the incredible Great British Beer Festival at Olympia next month. To get in free, you must enter the competition below. Free entry will go to the five readers (and two of …
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Saturday 21st July 2018 15:12 GMT Fruit and Nutcase
Re: Virtual Musk
I'll take mine in a farting unicorn mug by Tom Edwards...
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/jun/27/elon-musk-farting-unicorn-mug-cartoon-tom-edwards
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Friday 20th July 2018 12:16 GMT Andytug
BOFH Special IPA
ABV 6.5%
A strong yet smooth ale, apart from the sudden shock at first sip as the undertones of halon, quicklime and carpet become apparent. Best on a Friday afternoon. Should not be drunk next to any open windows or lift shafts in case of potential accidents. If drunk by management types may result in constant muscle spasms such as head nodding.
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Friday 20th July 2018 12:23 GMT I ain't Spartacus
Hmmm. Our lunchtime round.
Afternoon barman. I'll have an IP
v6A please, a complex brew with fruity notes and avery, verylong finish. A pint of Apple ciDer - oh and a microSoft drink for the driver. What was that you wanted, a rootkit beer? OK. And for myself? Hmmm.I'll have a systemd stout please. Nutty, with strong dark notes, conflicting with a bitter aftertaste.
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Friday 20th July 2018 13:19 GMT Unep Eurobats
Apple cider
Only £9.99 a pint. The glass must be held right and includes a Notch at the rim to keep your hipster moustache free of froth. Other brands offering their alcoholic beverages in cyclindrical receptacles will be sued.
Made from water in a mysterious process by master brewer S Jobs.
Tasting notes: distinct flavour of rainbows with a subtle hint of unicorn.
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Friday 20th July 2018 13:38 GMT One trick pony
A few for con-cideration
"Sea Sharp" - Salty tang with whiff of rotten fish.
"Pearl Rejects" - Complex notes, not easily digested.
"Big O" - When you are in for a long session.
"Tiptoe Though the Tuples" - A mixture of many beers and/or wine (normally consumed quickly at the end of an evening from multiple glasses in the Student Union bar).
"Dup Swap Drop" - 0 percent for those wanting to drink but accomplish nothing.
"Guido's Snake Soup" - Strong but mostly incomprehensible - especially for those not wearing braces.
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Friday 20th July 2018 14:22 GMT David Roberts
Non alchoholic
We can win half price entry tickets or submit a code for 50% discount?
Oh, go on then:
No Contest - an absorbing but confusing beverage with no perceived long term benefit?
Toe Stamp - more hoppy than you expected.
ICL - a traditional ale. Can be distinguished from the more powerful and full bodied IBM mainly by a very slight difference in character(set). One for the discerning old time mainframe systems programmers.
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Friday 20th July 2018 16:34 GMT Androgynous Cupboard
Under a mile away so will be there anyway...
Googale - a chocolate stout, of course.
Ethernol - enjoy from the TAP, or direct from the TUN as you prefer.
Open Sauce - for drinkers that really don't like lock-ins.
Duff Porter - a subtle blend of many layers (marketing strapline: it's not just about the destination)
Tactical Nuclear Penguin - a Linux-inspired... no, that's a stupid name for a beer, forget it.
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Saturday 21st July 2018 01:58 GMT Fruit and Nutcase
Post Pub Nosh Menu
Will the GBBF feature samples from the Post Pub Nosh Menu?
https://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/12/30/post_pub_nosh_slideshow/
https://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/10/24/post_pub_nosh_currywurst_part_zwei/
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Saturday 21st July 2018 02:32 GMT Paul Stimpson
Suggestions from the night shift
Torvald's Expletive Laden Rant - Finnish craft export bitter
DHCP - Distinctly Hoppy Craft Pint
DROP TABLE Ale;
USB - Universally Stout Beer
Ankles Tangled & Twisted (AT&T) - Outsourced IPA.
Core Dump - Late harvest cider
PoE - Pint of Excellence
Asterisk BoIP (Beer of India Pale)
SaaS (Sauce as a Service) - Golden ale, provided by someone else
Outsauced
Git Push - Strong ale; a real fighting drink
Facebork - Another strong, dark ale.
Turing's Bombe - Finely crafted tribute to Alan Turing. It's not quick but the results make it worth the wait.
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Saturday 21st July 2018 08:21 GMT Anonymous Coward
Not an ale name but a bit of a story about booking a ticket for the GBBF.
When I booked my tickets the following questions were a mandatory condition of purchase.
Where did you hear about the festival?
How often do you go to the pub?
How often do you drink real ale?
I complained to CAMRA as I thought this might be in breach of GDPR and did get a quick response saying the conditions on questions had been removed. I checked and they had been.
I also commented on the 'I agree to the above waiver' options as I thought that might not be clear to many people but was told that couldn't be changed as the wording was set by eventbrite and CAMRA had no way to change it.
Well done El Reg on such a big discount for readers, as someone who has paid to been a CAMRA member for over 35 years (with the odd year break now and then before I paid by direct debit) I got nowhere near that discount! Bit miffed about that if I'm honest.
Cheers!
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Saturday 21st July 2018 10:21 GMT JayEmmay
GNAB 26.1%
Standing for GNAB's not a beer the name makes perfect sense about halfway through the second pint. Multiple flavours and aficionados claim suitable for any occasion.
Polite and restrained conversations often break out on its merits compared to the similar "Fruit of the VIne" despite it being superior in every conceivable respect.
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Saturday 21st July 2018 13:01 GMT Steve Davies 3
The inevitable EULA
that you have to read (all 500+ pages) before they will license you to drink a pint.
They will be along later to collect the same amount of urine because the EULA only allowed you an 18 hour loan of the liquid.
Failure to give up the urine will lead to a law suit being filed before you can blink an eye. They will allege IP theft, wilful patent violation(triple damages) and anything else that the $1000/hour lawyers can think of.
Sadly, I'll be in Haggis land when the GBBF is on but I hear that the Isle of Skye brewery in Uig brews a pretty decent pint.
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Saturday 21st July 2018 13:36 GMT Anonymous Coward
Social wetwork
Though I think that might fall foul of trading standards for implying violence.
hmm
NumbPint for the legless python coder.
"Press Nine to order a pint"
Edit: Actually, continuing the Python jokes, can I submit both Pythonic and Pandorable as words better suited to beer than to coding?
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Saturday 21st July 2018 16:48 GMT Anonymous Coward
Batch Tuesday
"Batch Tuesday"
Tasting Notes.
A secret recipe - known to be a somewhat vomit inducing bitter-sweet ale based on a recipe of a large multinational in Seattle, after buying out what was, a successful Finnish Brewery.
The recipe is changed monthly on the second Tuesday of the month. Best described as work in progress. Multiple flavours, none of which is particularly enticing.
Can often take all night and into the early morning to drink a single bottle. Your brain often ends up as mush, constantly checking to see if the contents are finished, hoping the non-responsiveness won't last.
Best thing you can say about 'Batch Tuesday', if you manage to get through to the next day with no ill effects, you'll be somewhat relieved. Oddly though, some can't wait to try next month's batch to see if it's improved, treating the beer like an endurance test.
Store upright as contents liable to leak.
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Saturday 21st July 2018 17:29 GMT Anonymous Coward
Frictionless Border Beer.
Frictionless Border Beer.
Tasting Notes.
Originally thought up to be one of those aspirational low alcohol beers by a soft drinks company, that is meant to appeal to all. It's their first dip of the toe into the low alcohol soft drinks market and it shows.
It's completely flavourless with gammon, even though it was designed to appeal to all British tastes, it's not even as good as the best selling EU brewed equivalent yet the SRP is double the price. Its unique selling point "a novel new beer that hasn't' been attempted before anywhere in the World before".
Very cloudy, opaque even, when poured and overly complex. From the description, you really can't make head nor tail of it. Very difficult to define the overall market they are going for, not much appeal. Far too expensive for its own good and unlikely to see any real delivery before 2030, due to production problems, lack of tender to produce at scale.
You'd do better to stick to with your usual EU brand of beer, all told.
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Sunday 22nd July 2018 22:07 GMT Fruit and Nutcase
Software marketing model
The brewing recipe and process may be subject to continuous change and "improvement", fail QA tests, but slip through to the consumer
In a bid to capture and keep your custom, you may have to sign up to a subscription and provide personal information for marketing purposes
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Monday 23rd July 2018 04:51 GMT Hugh Jarce
HTMAle
HTMAle is the standard drinkup brew.
Well structured, with clean delineated elements including bold, emphasised, and underlined notes among its range of attributes, HMTAle is the ultimate world-wide beer, encompassing a vast, complex web of flavours.
HTMALe - truly Hoppy, Tasty, Malty Ale - available at a variety of strengths, with 5% now the most popular.
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