OK, so if there are any coders
that are part of the "Huka Falls Surf Club", they will subscribe to this sort of thing?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huka_Falls
If you are a programmer who wants pain, try coding in ABAP.
Developers: bored with bracketing? Got a dose of “escaping ennui”? Why not write bad erotica instead? That's the brilliant/sick objective of a project called "Fetlang" that recently emerged on GitHub thanks to a chap called Dagan, aka “Property404”. As the repo's readme explains: “Fetlang is a statically typed, procedural, …
I've occasionally thought that abusive versions of error messages might help lighten the programming mood:
"Object reference not set to an instance of an object you stupid idiot".
"The name 'ibble' does not exist in the current context you pillock."
"Cannot implicitly convert type 'string' to an 'int' - have you gone mad?"
"'Fred' is inaccessible due to its protection level. Mind your own business."
"'IZero' does not contain a definition for 'ibble'. Why don't you try reading the documentation or learn to type?"
On seconds thoughts, maybe not :)
I've occasionally thought that abusive versions of error messages might help lighten the programming mood:
Unfortunately, we are long past the days when statlab (or was that minitab?) answered to "fuck you" on the command line with "Your place or mine?".
The world has gone politically correctness mad.
Given Powershell's verb-noun syntax ( yes it's scripting, not a real language ) "Fuck-You" sounds perfectly legal.
Opportunity for a complete module here.
"Fuck-This" - exit script ( optional -ForAGameofSoliders param )
"Fuck-That" - kill a process
"Fuck-Yourself" - exit and delete all traces of the script
"Fuck-It" - power down system
>The all time best error message has to be the DOS masterpiece:
>"Keyboard Failure. Press F1 to continue"
A lot of AT systems supported hot-plugging - BYOD started with keyboards - and decent ones weighed more than my current laptop. It's also the error you get if a key is stuck on or you've left your IBM ashtray mashing the keyboard - so not as daft as it sounds.
nudge-nudge ... for boring CRLF
perusing my synopses ... Accessing the file system's index
And so on.
Exceptions would be represented by oo-er-missus
This would be a far better language for pedagogy as (a session in my study later!) would develop an oblique approach to programming and be a healthy introduction to the reality of sexism in IT.
The source for any major project has amusing comments embedded in it. It a way of keeping ourselves sane(ish). Hell, try reading something as purely functional as termcap sometime. (On Slackware, the old 'complete" version is /etc/termcap-BSD, your distro's mileage may vary.)
"'BRA' and 'SEX' instructions... and that challenge was invariably accepted."
Isn't that 1800 Assembler? SEX disappointingly SElects the register to use for the X stack pointer.
The manual had a convoluted example of how to code ASCII that seemed designed purely to allow the introduction of the word "t'its'.
Could be worse. Could be 80x86 assembler, where the opposite of CLI is STI.
But yeah, I remember 6809 assembler well, wuth SEX and BRA (rather prosaically, this was just BRanch Always, and yes, it had an instruction BRN - BRanch Never(1)).
(1) I mean it. All the position-independent branches were conditional and came in pairs. One member of each pair would branch if the condition was true, and the other would branch if it was not true. And one of the conditions was "true". BRA branched if true was true, and BRN branched if true was not true. That didn't happen very often.
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"I was thinking more along the lines of 6809 assembly code"
Ah. I only came across the 6809 once as I went straight from 8 to 16 bits, both military processors, and never looked back.
And I discover my memory fails me (perhaps that's why the downvote?) and the 1800 branch instruction is just BR. So yes, 6809 is where it's at. What's more, the 1805/6 instruction set missed a trick - there's a DSM instruction and a DSMB instruction. So close! If only they'd called it Borrow Decimal Subtract Memory.
Before the IT was filled with idiots like these producing absolute garbage and childish lame nonsense stuff like this "programming language" the IT field was made mostly of very smart people.
Nowadays too many idiots at large. The IT field.. being a programmer IS NOT FOR EVERYONE ! Just like Engineering, Chemistry, Medicine .. Instead worldwide these sectors have been filled by people with no brain cells and it shows everywhere. The overall quality worldwide dropped thru the last few decades like never before in all countries and that is a real shame.
Before the IT was filled with idiots...
Somebody accidentally uninstalled their sense of humour this morning...
There's a great tradition of 'silly' little projects like these, everyone knows not to take it seriously. This is just an exercise in free thought - next thing they may come up with is a more useful language.
"There's a great tradition of 'silly' little projects like these, everyone knows not to take it seriously."
Alas, some of these practical jokes do still occasionally get out of hand. Take Python, for example -- the language that brought back indentation as part of the syntax, just when old FORTRAN programmers like me thought that we'd seen the last of that kind of nonsense :-)
"There was also a line printer image with a lady in a bikini if I am not imagining it.."Bikini?
Particularly fun to see Jorge's comment about how the entire IT industry is going to the dogs in "the last few decades like never before", right underneath a bunch of comments between COBOL programmers chatting about getting up to the same stuff forty years ago.
Perhaps you should go have a lie down Jorge, once you've been in IT for a few more years you'll realise none of us take it that seriously.
idiots like these producing absolute garbage and childish lame nonsense
"Make slave scream" as a reimagining of the Print command put a smile on my face.
I would dispute your dismissive put-downs as the author shows quite a flair for creativity and outside the box thinking even if it is nothing but an attempt to have and share a little bit of fun. Who knows: it might actually turn out to be an important step in moving to natural language processing; but I'll take it for what it is. There's nothing wrong with a bit of "what if?' every now and again.
If I come across a stack of compiler discs tucked under a bush in the local park I might give it a whirl. It will make a change from doing the usual 'tied to the desk' stuff I have to do.
If I come across a stack of compiler discs tucked under a bush in the local park I might give it a whirl. It will make a change from doing the usual 'tied to the desk' stuff I have to do.
Contemplating setting up a Phone Sex coding help-line - Think it's a winner?
@Jason Bloomberg
If I come across a stack of compiler discs tucked under a bush in the local park I might give it a whirl. It will make a change from doing the usual 'tied to the desk' stuff I have to do.
Looks like you are trying to write Fetlang code...
One of the key fundamental exercises for creative minds is the classic "thinking outside the box", all great creative minds have to think wildly outside their respective boxes otherwise they will not grow. I'll be honest and state that if you're not coming up with silly ideas at least once a day, then you're obviously a failed AI bot on a system somewhere, as no human being can get through their day without coming up with creative ideas every few hours.
Maybe you're an alien trying to find out more about human civilization? I'd work on learning more about this humour thing, especially if you're in an English speaking country as we have a very rich history of stupid humour due to the ambiguous nature of our language. I'd spend some time on that, as humans we appreciate it when people join in and take part, we're a social species and the more people join in our games the more we all enjoy ourselves.
Maybe set your LOCALE to a more permissive country.
Those are getting fewer and fewer...
We're going to need multiple locales on systems soon.
for time,
for language,
for keyboard,
for morality,
and probably one for legal jurisdiction - to rule them all - and in the darkness bind them....
"Which for those of you who led sheltered lives is a nod to BDSM, the acronym for "bondage, discipline and sadomasochism"."
It's a folded acronym. As I know it, it stands for Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Because as we all know, the biggest and most widespread kink is pedantry.
Sounds like a language in itself.
To save files: RecordPoorQualityOn8TrackTape( filename )
To upper case: Scream( string )
To lower case: Guttural ( string )
Screen draw commands like ApplyCorpsePaintToFace(x,y), sadly you only get black and white as colours, only low resolution images and print are allowed like most album covers.
Of course the entire IDE has to use some bizarre obscure font no one can read without the help of the language authors!
How about this for a target system for the language?
Appropriately the architecture required a lot of self-discipline to get the best from it. IIRC there were two assemblers, one where the full versatility of registers, etc. could be used, then another which effectively nominated registers for specific purposes.
Historic Note: We were thinking about using the 1802 for train-borne equipment on the Underground due to its low current consumption and higher tolerance to electrical noise and voltage fluctuations, but to my knowledge nothing came of it.
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