Well he did bench 5kg
A todger, a 2.5kg dumbbell, the fire brigade... and the inevitable angle grinder
A German chap is in recovery mode after firefighters battled tirelessly for three hours to free his member from a dumbbell weight. The unnamed gent based in Worms, a city nestled in the Rhineland-Palatinate, mid-west Germany, got his spawnhammer stuck in the 2.5kg metal disk on Friday and was transported, ever so gently, to …
-
-
-
Monday 18th September 2017 15:55 GMT cray74
Re: a “vibrating” saw
p.s. a link to a youtube video, or it didn't happen!
Unfortunately, in 2009 one enterprising woman did attempt the use of a vibrating saw. Her mistake (work safe news article) was fitting the prosthetic, plastic male component over the existing saw blade rather than using a safer mount. A hospital visit by way of helicopter airlift followed.
-
Monday 18th September 2017 16:18 GMT H in The Hague
Re: a “vibrating” saw
Probably one of these:
https://fein.com/en_uk/oscillating-multi-tool/multimaster/fein-multimaster-fmm-350-qsl-edition-2017-0372811/
Very useful for awkward jobs and safe to use close to the human body as the blades don't grab (I think they're also used for removing plaster casts). Still, I prefer to keep mine away from my body parts. (So far I've only worried about my fingers, but now ....)
Though it looks like they broke the cast iron (relatively brittle) weight rather than cutting all the way through it.
-
Monday 18th September 2017 18:15 GMT cray74
Re: a “vibrating” saw
Though it looks like they broke the cast iron (relatively brittle) weight rather than cutting all the way through it.
I brought this up with the metallurgical lab at work and its fracture mechanics team during lunch, since we'd pretty much run through all our Irma stories last week. (Some more squeamish lunch participants favored a return to weather stories when I raised this topic and said, "I've got pictures!") Anyway...
Brittle cast iron does have fairly straight fracture surfaces, but not as straight as depicted in the article's photo. The only place I'd suspect of a fracture is the cut through the "2" in "2.5", there seems to be a chip at the rim of the weight there.
The other surfaces are too linear for fractures - there'd be some deflection and pebbling in the surfaces. It looks like the two smallest chunks (left side of the photo) and the chunk on the lower right were removed as circular chords to make way for shorter, direct cuts to the center. That simplified and minimized the sawing heading radially inward toward the delicate meat bits ("spawnhammer?") trapped there.
-
-
-
-
Monday 18th September 2017 16:08 GMT Tigra 07
Re: Ummm - I fell...
"Too small" would be too small to get a bar through capable of holding the weight. Some people are cursed with devilishly tiny todgers.
Likewise "too big" would be wider holes than now.
The only solution is for some men to raise their standards and stop fucking fucking gym equipment.
-
Monday 18th September 2017 19:21 GMT handleoclast
Re: Ummm - I fell...
Such regulations would mean that testing would need to be carried out.
Tests for holes in the cases of electrical equipment, to ensure that somebody can't touch live parts, require the use of a British Standard Finger (yes, there really is such a thing).
Your proposal would require the creation of a British Standard Penis (by this I don't mean Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson or Tony Blair). Which might be a very useful test item because it would have prevented the famous Hoover Dustette Penile Mutilations (it's warm, it vibrates, it sucks, it aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggh).
-
-
Monday 18th September 2017 15:44 GMT Anonymous Coward
You missed the back story...
..he decided that clothes were to restrictive, so he decided to do it naked.
However he slipped and his member accidentally went inside, at the same time the bar accidentally entered his rear orifice.
Whilst repeatedly trying to remove the bar with multiple forward and backward motions, he failed to notice it was causing issues with the blood supply to his penis, causing an unexpected swelling.
It was at this point he tried thrusting backwards and forwards multiple times, but it just got more stuck. Even self lubricating failed to help, in fact it seemed to become more sticking as the lubrication dried.
Honest Dr.!
-
Monday 18th September 2017 16:04 GMT Tim Jenkins
Re: You missed the back story...
I'm so naive.
I genuinely thought that this might have been a tragic accident, where the gentlemans gentleman had somehow become trapped between the flats of two weights, perhaps while stacking them with sweaty, post-workout hands.
Then I began to wonder why all that rescue equipment was required, and why it was necessary to shatter the disk to 'extract' him.
And then I read the above...
-
Tuesday 19th September 2017 16:12 GMT FuzzyWuzzys
Re: You missed the back story...
"I genuinely thought that this might have been a tragic accident, where the gentlemans gentleman had somehow become trapped between the flats of two weights, perhaps while stacking them with sweaty, post-workout hands."
I've actually done that but with my index finger, it was the most intense pain I've ever felt. 2 x 25Kg weights slamming together and my finger tip in between. I've never seen so much blood come of me from small place! It cost me finger nail too which to this day, 25 years later, still never grew back properly.
-
-
-
-
-
Tuesday 19th September 2017 18:11 GMT Swarthy
To actually be serious (for a second)
That's the danger of these types of ordeal, the blood cannot flow back. (Closed-flow priapism)
Arteries are on the inside of appendages, to keep them more protected; while veins are on the outside. While blood can flow into the {arm/leg/finger/todger} in a restricted area, it may not be able to flow out.
Sedating the gent can help as less blood will be directed to the area in question, but the pressure keeps the blood from leaving.. had they tried manual manipulation, as you suggest, the blood pressure in his wedding tackle would have increased, still with no return option, rupturing quite a bit of tissue and would have prevented him from ever getting into this (or any other) situation ever again.
-
-
Wednesday 20th September 2017 17:43 GMT ShadowDragon8685
What I don't get is why European docs always, always call the fire brigade.
And how the fire brigade manages to do this kind of thing without losing their lunch.
In the U.S., the firemen take one look at this kind of situation, when called, and Nope the hell out!
Then a urologist is properly consulted, an incision is made, the member is drained, and the offending device simply removed.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
