back to article US Homeland Security CIO hits ctrl-alt-delete after just three months

The chief information officer of America's Department of Homeland Security has become the latest Trump administration appointee to resign. Richard Staropoli, the former US secret service agent who at one time vowed to run the department "like a hedge fund," will be leaving at the end of the month. Staropoli had been appointed …

  1. David Roberts
    Trollface

    Presidential Protective Division

    Good to know he always wears one.

  2. the Jim bloke

    99 green bottles hanging on the wall..

    99 green bottles hanging on the wall

    99 green bottles hanging on the wall

    And if one green bottle should accidentally fall,

    There'll be 98 green bottles hanging on the wall.

    ....

    1. VinceH

      Re: 99 green bottles hanging on the wall..

      I always preferred the version where it was sticks of dynamite instead of bottles. One of the good things about it is that it's MUCH shorter.

      1. keith_w

        Re: 99 green bottles hanging on the wall..

        I always prefered:

        99 bottles of beer on the wall

        99 bottles of beer

        take one down and pass it around

        98 bottles of beer on the wall.

        repeat as needed.

        1. Swarthy
          Pint

          Re: 99 green bottles hanging on the wall..

          I've always preferred:

          Infinity bottles of beer on the wall

          Infinity bottles of beer

          Take one down and pass it around

          Infinity bottles of beer on the wall.

          Repeat until dead.

          1. VinceH

            Re: 99 green bottles hanging on the wall..

            "I've always

            Good point, well made.

            * slaps wrist.

  3. redpawn

    Collapsing Door Policy

    Want a job in the Trump administration? Just wait for the next would be bigwig sycophant to lose his (mostly white male) nerve, tolerance for dysfunction or be fired for being too crazy.

    If you are this type of suck up, prove you are super pleased with the Cheeto 'n Chief and you are in. That is if he ever get around to appointing anyone to fill the vacancy as government does not have to function well to be profitable.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Collapsing Door Policy

      I presume you mean revolving door..

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    New measurement?

    I like the sub head, has a "Mooch" already been entered in El Regs conversion engine (link please)?

    The exact value is in dispute, though, wasn't there an issue with him not actually having started the job and it just being a negative number (forgot the actual values - haven't had my coffee yet).

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: New measurement?

      Sounds like a new philospohical question - forget trees falling in the woods, we now have "If you are working in a Job, but your appointment has not yet been officially announced, does your sacking cause a bear to shit in the Woods?"

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: New measurement?

        does your sacking cause a bear to shit in the Woods?

        Spicer is gone too, so it could do it in the bushes now.

    2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: New measurement?

      IIRC, the Mooch's first official working day would have been 2017-08-14; next monday.

      Which raises the question whether he owes Uncle Sam two weeks worth of pay?

    3. eldakka

      Re: New measurement?

      There don't appear to be any time units on the conversion page.

      I think that needs to be rectified el Reg.

  5. sandman

    CV/Resume

    One great advantage with such short-term appointments is that you can explain the gap on your CV by saying you were on vacation. If anyone asks why your hiring/firing were all over the press, you just sneer and say "mainstream media lies, fake news, sad."

  6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    15 minutes

    As per a previous thread, clearly the policy is to implement Andy Warhol's idea. By the time of Trump's end of tenure the entire US population will have held a USG post for at least 15 minutes.

    3 months is a pretty good tenure for someone not holding a job by nepotism.

  7. Stevie

    Bah!

    Mooch never took office. He was fired before he did.

    1. eldakka

      Re: Bah!

      I'm not sure you can actually be fired if you haven't taken office.

      It would, perhaps, be more correct to say the offer of employment was withdrawn.

  8. Gnosis_Carmot

    Running the operation like a hedge fund...

    ... is not a good thing.

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