back to article German robo-pastor preaches the GNU Testament

A church in Germany has built a robot priest to celebrate the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation. The bot, a creation of the Evangelical Church in Hesse and Nassau and engineer Alexander Wiedekind-Klein, is able to deliver blessings to visitors in both male and female voices. They've named their intelligent …

  1. Florida1920
    Angel

    In my life

    Nothing will ever replace the FSM, pasta be unto him!

    1. Andus McCoatover

      Re: In my life

      Ramen!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What hymns does it do?

    Wine be the glory.

    Windows has broken.

    Abide with C.

    1. Captain DaFt
  3. frank ly

    I'd love to see ....

    .... the appearance, voice and style of Preacherbot, from Futurama.

  4. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    "... might we at El Reg suggest: ... "St Francis of ASCII" as alternative(s)."

    No. Protestants don't do saints.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
      FAIL

      St Charles (aka King Charles I)

      The CofE has (one) saint: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Charles_the_Martyr

      1. Kernel

        Re: St Charles (aka King Charles I)

        The CofE church I was dragged along to as a kid was called St Saviour's, so they've probably got more than one.

        One of my grandfathers was 'High Church", a flavour of CofE that varies just a little from the Roman Catholic faith - I seem to remember having to learn something (Apostle's Creed?) that mentioned how grateful I was to be born into the Holy Catholic (CofE) church, which puzzled me a bit until I found out the the others were Roman Catholics (and therefor heretics, who were fair game on the way to/from school).

        1. Montreal Sean

          Re: St Charles (aka King Charles I)

          CofE is an Anglican Church, isn't it?

          That would make it a Catholic Church, but an English Catholic Church.

          Anglicans don't believe the Pope is the voice of God on Earth.

          My Anglican Church is a high church and is frequented by many Roman Catholics who want a service done largely in Latin.

    2. Mike 16

      No Protestant saints?

      So, why is the local Episcopal church named St. Andrews?

      That's a serious question, BTW.

      I'll agree that _some_ Protestant churches disavow saints, but not all Protestants sects are the same.

      Any good source of a "feature checklist" for, say, the top 50 denominations?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No Protestant saints?

        So, why is the local Episcopal church named St. Andrews?

        That's a serious question, BTW.

        I'll agree that _some_ Protestant churches disavow saints, but not all Protestants sects are the same.

        There's a difference between disavow and "not venerate". In Anglican churches, saints are recognized as jolly good fellows who undoubtedly were very pious, etc.

        In the Roman Catholic church, saints have all performed miracles.

        Anglican and other protestant churches think that veneration of saints, as practiced by the Roman Catholic church (which often involves praying to specific saints to intercede with God on the petitioner's request) is dangerously close to worshipping the saints and since worshipping someone other than God is a Bad Thing.

        Please note, historically, the way that Roman Catholic missionaries advanced the faith in Africa and the Americas. Instead of worshipping the local gods, the natives were now asked to worship a new pantheon headed by this "God" fellow the minor gods, "saints"

  5. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Oh, I have just remembered what this reminds me of: the computer confessional in Woody Allen's "Sleeper".

  6. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    So how long before this thing

    ends up in Silicon Heaven*?

    * Faith is so much easier when it's programmed in.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So how long before this thing

      Silicon Heaven doesnt exist.

      1. hplasm
        Paris Hilton

        Re: So how long before this thing

        What? So where do all the dead calculators go?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So how long before this thing

          They face the inquisitor. Like everything else.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So how long before this thing

          What? So where do all the dead calculators go?

          They cease to exists. Office copiers on the other hand, will outlast the humans.

  7. jake Silver badge

    Insert coin, receive blessing.

    Now where have I heard of this before ...

    1. phuzz Silver badge
      Terminator

      Re: Insert coin, receive blessing.

      A flesh-and-blood pastor might take ten seconds to say a Hail Mary, imagine how many a robo-vicar can manage!

    2. Mike 16

      Re: Insert coin, receive blessing.

      IIRC, one of the first vending machines was a coin-operated holy-water dispenser:

      https://www.arcade-history.com/?n=holy-water-vending-machine&page=detail&id=17048

      So maybe during my long career in vending, I should have lit candles to St. Heron. He also designed quite a few mechanical amusements (another big part of my life)

  8. Captain Hogwash

    Linux Aeterna?

    Oh, that protestant thing again.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Suitably equipped with relevant accessories, it could also make for some creative funerals and even exorcisms.

    Anon as technically it could put my wife out of a job.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      So you thought being a vicar was the one job that couldn't be outsourced to India ?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So...

    ...lifelike?

    Let us take a minute to execute the /opt/bot_speak.sh

    Our priestbot who art in Deutschland

    Wilkommen am el reg

    Thy kingdom come,

    Man will be done.

    In accordance with skynet directives.

    And lead noobs not into temptation

    To deliver us from malware

    For thine is the Kingdom, the power and the cron jobs

    While true!=false

    echo "done"

  11. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Douglas Adams predicted it...

    ...the Electric Monk, that is.

  12. Nimby
    Devil

    Forgive them, for they know not what they code.

    I think they have the idea backward. Instead of a robo-pastor to bless randomly, they should have made robot congregants to fill the pews.

    <insert joke here>

  13. anonCoward24

    this is not innovative

    There were Shinto animatronic "robots" at least since the 1970's, I do recall from Popular Mechanics.

    lesseee....

    https://www.google.com/search?q=%22robot%22+%22wedding%22+%22japan%22&source=lnms&tbm=isch

  14. Bandikoto

    THX 1138

    I'm sure that OMM 0000 would have something to say about automated churches: " Let us be thankful we have commerce. Buy more. Buy more now. Buy. And be happy."

  15. Andus McCoatover
    Coat

    My CPU runneth over....

    1. RandomFactor
      Happy

      "My CPU clocketh over...."

      ftfy :)

  16. WereWoof

    "There is no Master but Master, and QT1 is His prophet." - Issac Asimov - Reason

  17. This post has been deleted by its author

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ill believe this thing is divine...

    If it has "seen things you wouldn't believe".

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