Sign in / up

back to article Leeds cops issue appeal for man-sized todger

West Yorkshire police are seeking a giant penis who may have witnessed a serious assault in Leeds city centre in April. via yorkshire police. yes really. inflatable penis costume An image helpfully supplied by West Yorkshire police - almost certainly of a person modelling the costume rather than the alleged witness In the …

COMMENTS

Post your comment
House rules Send corrections
Add to 'My topics' unstar *
  1. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Awww come on...

    Every guy in the world is looking for a large penis !

    4 0 Reply
    1. Pen-y-gors
      Reply Icon

      Re: Awww come on...

      as opposed to a 12 inch pianist

      10 0 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Awww come on...

        or Tulips on your organ.

        3 0 Reply
    2. Chemical Bob
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      Re: Every guy in the world is looking for a large penis !

      Not *every* guy, just the gay ones...

      1 2 Reply
  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I hope someone has the balls to dob him in, there's no place in society for dicks like that.

    13 0 Reply
    1. The Nazz
      Reply Icon

      You could say the victim ...

      was knobbled.

      ps not making light of his very serious sounding injuries.

      0 4 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      As a fine up-standing citizen, I'm confident he has the spunk to do the right thing.

      9 0 Reply
  3. Alistair
    Coat

    This article in bootnotes

    .....

    April fools ran.... um a ... little long... in Leeds ths year?

    Constable Burt is trying to find a fellow who was a little pumped up to be out with his mates?

    <Kudo's Mr. Oates -- more tongue in cheek than I've seen in a while>

    ________________

    All that said I hope they bag the jackass that they're after.

    2 0 Reply
  4. td0s

    A stand up guy

    Hopefully he will come forward and this can be wrapped up, it won't be in vein and will come to a head, maybe the culprit will be sacked.

    5 0 Reply
  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If you see this suspect do not approach as has been known to spit unpleasant liquid in the faces of those who approach, immediately call the Police and they will attempt to apprehend and subdue the subject using a giant condom.

    If you suddenly smell an unexplainable source of cheese, dial 999.

    2 2 Reply
  6. Turnip McFondleballs

    <generic knob joke>

    letters

    5 0 Reply
  7. wolfetone Silver badge
    Coat

    Sounds like a cockfight to me.

    0 0 Reply
  8. frank ly

    x12 too high on the size estimate?

    "...white, six foot tall with a shaven head ..."

    1 0 Reply
  9. AndrueC Silver badge
    Joke

    Are they going balls-out to find the man?

    0 0 Reply
  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I believe his name is John Thomas.

    3 0 Reply
  11. chivo243 Silver badge
    Holmes

    My only thought is

    how did he pull that off?

    0 0 Reply
  12. Zebo-the-Fat

    What a ....

    What a prick!

    2 0 Reply
  13. Stevie

    Bah!

    Stiff fines are called for.

    0 0 Reply
  14. Sgt_Oddball
    Coat

    I hope..

    He gets felt by the long arm of the law.

    It also shows that the police in Leeds don't dick around...

    No mention of the offender having hairy hands or going blind though.

    Just hope the victim gets a happy ending.

    Mines the one with the mats bar in the pocket....

    0 0 Reply
  15. Anonymous Coward
    Holmes

    "described as white, six foot tall with a shaven head"

    A couple problems that I can see with that description.

    1) After an incautious night out on the town, the witness' skin color may be reddish due to a rash, and have a couple large visible warts.

    2) Has there been a cold snap in Leeds since then? In that case cops should be looking for someone 3 feet tall.

    (Maybe its just me, but I don't recall Sherlock having to deal with this kind of thing.)

    0 0 Reply
  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The man from

    P.E.N.I.S

    0 0 Reply

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

Forgotten password ?

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like