back to article A mooving tail of cows, calves and the Internet of Things

Internet of Things devices mounted on cows’ tails are responsible for 150,000 safe births of calves, if the developer and Vodafone are to be believed. Moocall, developers of a calving sensor which is linked to Vodafone’s M2M Internet of Things network, says that “more than 110,000 calves and around 50,000 cows die every year …

  1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

    Now that is a useful IoT application

    That is how IoT should be - nicely splattered all over by REAL Bovine Fecal matter. Not the verbal, marketeering and hipster diarrhea variety. While that is ALSO Bullsh*t it is not the useful kind.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Now that is a useful IoT application

      With a couple of exceptions (Nest, Alexi), IoT hasn't been marketed that hard by established companies (ones with a reputation to lose). I'm hardly swamped by advertisements for IoT gizmos (but maybe Google will only display adverts for security cameras and baby monitors if I search for 'nappies' and 'teething', which I don't). A lot of the really dodgy security is in the no-name cheap landfill kit - not sure how much is being sold; I don't see much of it about in the wild.

      In time, genuinely useful items will be bought by more people, thus coming under greater scrutiny. Lessons learnt in industrial control will filter down to consumer kit. Health services, in an effort to make economies in caring for an ageing population, will look towards remote monitoring of vulnerable people's health to save on the time a community nurse spends travelling between homes.

      Home automation has been around for years, but traditionally has been hard-wired into the house (drastically reducing attack surfaces) and expensive. It is the prevalence of now cheap wireless networking that means there are cheap wireless gizmos on the market that aren't as secure as they should be.

    2. Oengus
      Joke

      Re: Now that is a useful IoT application

      While that is ALSO Bullsh*t it is not the useful kind.

      In this case it wouldn't be Bullsh*t it would be CowSh*t...

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Now that is a useful IoT application

        "In this case it wouldn't be Bullsh*t it would be CowSh*t..."

        You're milking it for all it's worth.

        1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: Now that is a useful IoT application

          you forgot the oblig

          "Pull the Udder One".

  2. Dave 126 Silver badge

    A good reminder that IoT can refer to industrial control tech, as well as assigning addresses to physical objects. Poorly secured home gizmos of questionable utility are just a fraction of one definition of 'IoT'.

    1. Missing Semicolon Silver badge
      Devil

      A myth of IoT is busted

      These devices, despite their denomination as "IoT", do not have a globally unique routable IP address. According to the visionaries, that means they cannot possibly work!

  3. wolfetone Silver badge
    Joke

    Shouldn't it be called

    CowBit?

  4. Dwarf
    Coat

    Coverage - and not in the nice way

    Well, at least people can be honest now. The mobile phone signal around here is shit.

    Has anyone done any analysis about birth rate defects due to the calf growing up on a microwave transmitter, or will marketing just claim that they are helping to evolve a better cow for later introduction to the more powerful microwave oven ?

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Coverage - and not in the nice way

      >Has anyone done any analysis about birth rate defects due to the calf growing up on a microwave transmitter, ... ?

      If the health issues from RF radiation are fewer and less severe than health issues arising from an unsupervised births, then the net result is positive. Farmers are motivated to have a healthy herd - though now I'm thinking of Alan Partridges rant against farmers:

      "You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. You make pigs smoke. You feed beef burgers to swans. You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. Do you deny that? No, I think his silence speaks volumes."

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Coverage - and not in the nice way

      "Has anyone done any analysis about birth rate defects due to the calf growing up on a microwave transmitter"

      According to this the monitor is only fitted when calving's due in a few days.

      http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/huddersfield-farmer-delivers-calf-after-12700086

    3. Mage Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: Coverage - and not in the nice way

      It's a phone with a sensor.

      Yes, no study has ever found a statistically significant connection between mobile phone RF and health.

      Too much RF gives burns or cataracts.

  5. Oengus
    Joke

    I wonder if they monitor...

    A large increase in tail activity signifies either that the cow is about to produce a particularly firm cowpat or that it is calving.

    I wonder if they report the monitor the production cowpats as well - location, frequency, time to produce... to monitor the cows intestinal health.

  6. Philip Stott

    Well, that is an internet of shit device.

    Seriously, though, that actually seems useful.

  7. Snivelling Wretch

    IoT?

    I may be pedantic, but I'm not sure this actually uses the internet at all?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: IoT?

      There's communication involved, but it's more a small internet rather than the Internet (note capitalisation)

    2. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: IoT?

      >I may be pedantic, but I'm not sure this actually uses the internet at all?

      If you were being pedantic, you would have capitalised Internet. 'The Internet' is not the same 'internet' as the word is used in 'internet of things'. I suggest you look up the sources cited by the Wikipedia article on 'Internet of Things' and make your own mind up.

  8. Mage Silver badge

    Mooving story

    They have these things in the local Co-op. They just use the regular mobile phone network and send an SMS.

    Not the usual IoT horror.

    1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Re: Mooving story

      They have these things in the local Co-op

      They have cows giving birth to calves in your local supermarket? Bet that makes a bit of a mess.

      "Clean-up required in Aisle 3"

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Mooving story

        Just in case you weren't joking (and/or to educate city folks), I suspect that Mage was talking about the local agricultural cooperative (sometimes called farm(ers) cooperative). Handy thingies to be a part of, for a lot of reasons.

  9. Tikimon
    Thumb Up

    Amid the humor is real value

    Whether this widget or the SMS-based one another poster mentioned, it's a great use of tech. My uncle raises a few cows on his property. He lost one just like that, complications of a delivery nobody knew was happening. Found the poor heifer dead the next day.

    Have to admit though, sometimes the useful tech isn't terribly dignified!

  10. Tom Paine

    But how...

    How will Pip and Toby bond without those long night watch hours in the calving pens?

  11. Frumious Bandersnatch

    What's m2m?

    moo to moo?

  12. Mark 85

    Amazing...

    Finally something useful in IoS land. Sounds reasonably secure so we won't get DDoS attacks via the bovine instead of the stuff used by human cattle like toys, light bulbs, etc.

    I know some farmers/ranchers who have had many a sleepless night during calving times. I'll pass this article to a couple of them that have the knowledge and see what they think.

  13. jake Silver badge

    Bloody useless bit of kit.

    Well, I see no use for it, anyway. But I only have 35 or 40 heifers on hand in any given year. Sheep, on the other hand ... Come up with a 'bot that can sort out the legs of trips & quads automagically at 0-dark-thirty in the rain, and I'll buy a dozen of them!

  14. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    Interesting that one of the first useful bits of IoT kit is not actually on the Internet

    And you can bet it's quite a bit more expensive than the usual mass market s**t.

    It's quite amazing that the guts of a mobile phone can basically fit into the form factor of one of the smaller memory card formats.

    Other potentially useful applications are monitoring street light failure for replacement (the SoA in replacing large numbers of street lights is a)Someone reports it has failed b)Man with van drives round after dark checking they are all working).

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