back to article China is building a full scale replica of the Titanic to repeatedly crash into iceberg

A proposed Chinese theme park has started to build a full-sized replica of the Titanic so tourists can experience over and over again the moment which led to the deaths of 1,500 people – a project endorsed by New Labour minister Peter Mandelson. Construction of the ship began on Wednesday with celebratory fireworks to mark the …

  1. Robert Moore

    Two minds

    I am both horrified, and desperately want to sail on her maiden voyage.

    Perhaps a three hour tour...

    A three hour tour.

    1. BillG
      Pirate

      Re: Two minds

      The ship will be based in a dedicated reservoir just off the river, according to reports, and will have her full interior faithfully recreated...

      And will be built based on China building code safety standards.

      Hence the appropriate icon is selected.

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Two minds

      Does the tour include 2 hours in ~ 2C North Atlantic water? Or it has been replaced by tepid, not chlorinated chinese river water with a selection of bugs starting from Dysentery and finishing with brain rotting Naegleriasis.

      You know what... I will skip.

    3. Ugotta B. Kiddingme
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: A three hour tour

      Given the size of the vessel, I'd say harder to get tossed. And since it's on a lake, then with OR without the courage of a fearless crew, harder to get lost.

      1. BillG
        Megaphone

        Re: A three hour tour

        Given the size of the vessel, I'd say harder to get tossed. And since it's on a lake, then with OR without the courage of a fearless crew, harder to get lost.

        GILLIGAN!

        1. m0rt

          Re: A three hour tour

          Just wait till they start on the Chernobyl theme park...

          1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

            Re: A three hour tour

            Just wait till they start on the Chernobyl theme park...

            Fukushima is more fun. You can also generate the Tsunami on the same lake as the Titanic. One usually ends up glowing after a dose of Chinese river water anyway, so the "glow in the dark" part of the design should not be very difficult.

  2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    It will be a long march to the sea for her

    Interior built by a shipyard specializing in submarines. How fitting.

    [scratches head in puzzlement]

  3. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Kung Fu Panda - not a Chinese trademark name. Titanic ? Probably owned by White Star. Oh, I forgot. China doesn't enforce copyright/trademark properties so that'll be OK.

    As for it being floatable. Just means it'll also be sinkable. You know, for that authentic experience.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Nope

      Some guy in NYC who had the trademark for clothing with Titanic and RMS Titanic tried to sue the studio when the movie premiered, claiming he owns the trademark on all uses of the name, but the case was thrown out of court. I don't think the Chinese have anything to worry about here.

      Cunard bought White Star Lines, so presumably they would have purchased any trademark on the name for a ship, but I doubt they were able to (or wanted to) show continued use or would have bothered to file and pay the fees to keep it active even if they had continued to use it in some small way.

      1. oldcoder

        Re: Nope

        I think Carnival now owns whatever is left. Likely nothing by now.

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Nope

        Here's a real and recent trademark dispute over the name: http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/titanic-spa-take-legal-action-12280143

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I doubt White Star trademarked the name for use in a theme park. If you have evidence they did, please do show, rather than doing some easy stereotyping.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They should rename it

    "The Brexit"

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: They should rename it

      Came for the Brexit joke, was not disappointed.

      Perhaps the iceburg will be labelled "Conservative Party", like some American-style political cartoon with everything written on it.

      1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

        Re: They should rename it

        Nah. Iceberg was closer to America so shojld be called summat like "Dumb Trump Lump Boat Bump"

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: They should rename it

        like some American-style political cartoon with everything written on it.

        You mean much like our home-grown political satire in the 17th and 18th centuries?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: They should rename it

      "The Brexit"

      I think that name is already reserved for one of the new aircraftless arcraft carriers.

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
    FAIL

    Tourism estimates may be over optimistic

    Chinese entrepreneurs have copied entire European towns in an attempt to attract tourists. However, sales have been somewhat lower than expected.

    http://business.financialpost.com/business-insider/11-cities-that-china-ripped-off-from-the-rest-of-the-world

  7. Herby

    Does the realism extend to...

    The ship sinking? Do they get the life rafts out so that only a portion of the "passengers" will survive.

    I has relatives that were enamored with the movie, to which I said "The ship sinks", they called "spoiler alert". I'll leave it at that...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Does the realism extend to...

      "I has relatives that were enamored with the movie, to which I said "The ship sinks", they called "spoiler alert". I'll leave it at that..."

      I haz cheeseburger

  8. User McUser
    Go

    Life Imitates Art

    Rick and Morty, Season 1 Episode 11 - In the "B" plot of the episode, Jerry and Beth go to a Titanic themed attraction with a full-size replica of said boat designed to recreate the famous events of 1912. However despite repeated assurances that the ship is un-unsinkable, everything goes wrong and the Titanic spectacularly fails to hit the iceberg much to the disappointment of all aboard.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Life Imitates Art

      For those who haven't seen it, Rick and Morty resembles what you would get if you put Hitchiker's Guide, Futurama, and Family Guy in a blender and poured it over Back to The Future - if Doc Brown was a barely functioning alcoholic. In other words, it is brilliant.

      The Simpsons featured a Rick and Morty-themed couch gag, the longest they've ever done - it's effectively a 2.30 minute episode of Rick of Morty. Here it is:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ecYoSvGO60

  9. disgruntled yank

    Splendid idea

    Next, perhaps, "The Raft of the Medusa"? (http://www.louvre.fr/en/oeuvre-notices/raft-medusa)

    1. Chozo

      Re: Splendid idea

      Getting there is half the fun

  10. F111F
    Stop

    Next ChineseTheme Parks:

    The Donner Party Experience...

    The Spanish Inquisition...

    The Amelia Earhart South Pacific Tour...

    1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

      Re: Next ChineseTheme Parks:

      NO one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief... oh, wait. Sorry.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Next ChineseTheme Parks:

      No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!

      Had to say it

    3. Fungus Bob

      Re: Next ChineseTheme Parks:

      The Death of Bonnie and Clyde

    4. a_yank_lurker

      Re: Next ChineseTheme Parks:

      a few more not likely to make money:

      Lost Colony (Roanoke, NC)

      Chernobyl

      Hiroshima

      7th Cavalry at Little Big Horn

      Charge of the Light Brigade

    5. DropBear
      Gimp

      Re: Next ChineseTheme Parks:

      "The Spanish Inquisition..."

      Now wait just a cotton-picking minute... throw in some sufficiently scantily-clad... uhhh... inquisitresses and I guarantee business will be booming (what do you mean latex is not period-appropriate?!? YES IT IS! Burn the heretic!!!)...

  11. TeeCee Gold badge
    Alert

    Does this mean....

    ....that some Chinese theme park is going to have a bloke whose job really is arranging the deckchairs on the Titanic?

  12. streaky
    Alert

    ...

    I don't mind this as far as it being Chinese, it was of course a seminal event in naval safety and a lot of people died - it's hugely important to learn lessons.

    My thing is what would the Chinese think if we built a Tiananmen Square theme park complete with tanks running over protestors - an event they not only haven't learned from but spend a lot of their time obfuscating the memory of.

    That's what I thought.

    Maybe a theme park where visitors play Chinese people not in "the party" trying to stand for election.

    Titanic we know why and how it happened and a whole raft of safety and legal standards emanated from it; a kid's theme park might not really be appropriate but I do like the idea that the Chinese acknowledge that when people don't really give a damn about safety other people die.

    1. SkippyBing

      Re: ...

      Apparently we can't tell foreigners the truth, it might upset the FCO. Even if their minister does it.

  13. JJKing
    Coat

    What's on the menu?

    Next ChineseTheme Parks:

    The Donner Party Experience...

    Mmmmm, tastes like chicken.

    1. Robert Moore
      Coat

      Re: What's on the menu?

      Mmmmm, tastes like chicken.

      More like pork. Don't ask How I know that...

      .

      .

      .

      I SAID DON'T ASK!

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: What's on the menu?

        "More like pork. Don't ask How I know that...

        .

        .

        .

        I SAID DON'T ASK!"

        Geez, no need to bite my head off!

        1. Mark 85

          Re: What's on the menu?

          I'll bet you're the guy who goes into a restaurant alone and gives them the name "Donner" just hear "Donner, party of one."... right?

    2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: What's on the menu?

      I have a tshirts from the "Alferd Packer Grill" restaurant at the University of Colorado in Boulder.

      The back says "Have a friend for lunch".

      My son is a proud graduate.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Not as tasteless as the Bridge on the River Kwai amusement park

    https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g297924-d554151-r134488960-River_Kwai-Kanchanaburi_Kanchanaburi_Province.html

    The Chinese need to hire orphans and unadopted babies to randomly drown each sinking.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What are they thinking of?

    This sounds totally tasteless, especially if that bastion of good taste (not), Mandelson is endorsing it. Have they no regard for the number of people that were lost in the sinking? Should be boycotted or stopped immediately.

    "A simulation of the iceberg collision" ? They must be joking. If that isn't in the worst possible taste, I don't know what is.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: What are they thinking of?

      1500 doesn't sound all that much.

    2. Chris G

      Re: What are they thinking of?

      Let's just hope Mandelson is on it's maiden voyage and it really sinkswith him playing captain.

      If the Chinese fancy reenacting the Donner Party, they could go for a two for one and do the '72 Andes plane crash on alternate days....

      They could ask Mandelson to come for dinner.

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: What are they thinking of?

      "This sounds totally tasteless,"

      Like a musical based on the French revolution?

      Or a slapstick comedy?

  16. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    Next: Build a replica of the UK

    It can then be repeatedly crashed into meaty mountains of politicians, bankers and New Labour nuggets.

  17. Youngone Silver badge

    Peter Mandelson?

    Why am I the only one here who thought the key point in this is Peter Mandelson?

    I really want to know how much the Chinese company paid him to fly over and try to sell this awful idea.

    I know the UK doesn't have a monopoly on creepy ex-politicians, but boy you have some doozies.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Re: Peter Mandelson?

      Peter Mandelson is a lot like a Vauxhall.

      Nothing good ever comes out of either of them, and they're scum. Actually sorry, I didn't mean to say Vauxhall cars were scum.

  18. lowwall

    The Onion

    Obligatory "The Onion" link - World's Largest Metaphor hits Ice-Berg.

  19. Sandtitz Silver badge
    Joke

    I'll pass...

    but I'll sign up for their Stanford Prison Experiment - upgraded to Chinese prison standards of course!

  20. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Hmm. The theme park I'd really like to be built would be SommeWorld (from Jasper Fforde's books set in alternate-reality Swindon).

    "...suggesting that the Titanic replica will be capable of putting to sea. While this almost certainly will not be under her own power [...] she will certainly float and be capable of being taken under tow."

    Well, I'm not an expert, but I'd say that "putting to sea" does require a little more than just floating.

    1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      In this case, putting to sea will require almost 1000 km of overland "putting" before she sees any sea.

      (I checked Google maps...it's a very small river)

    2. TeeCee Gold badge
      WTF?

      Hang on, what's "alternate" about the reality of a trip to Swindon giving the experience of being at the battle of the Somme?

  21. x 7

    When I read this story about theme parks, I begin to wonder whether "Westworld" was in fact really a real-life story. I can just imagine the Chinese building rogue robots to populate the parks.

    As for the Titanicworld park, I hope the project sinks

  22. Chozo
    Coat

    Interesting factoid the Titanic was about the same size as a 'Typhoon' class submarine. So the mechanics required to make it sink & surface reliably by itself are well understood. Though why they are going to so much trouble is a mystery. Coupled with comments about it being seaworthy (albeit under tow) however is really tweaking my paranoia. An extra bulkhead here, a change to the superstructure there and you have a submersible weapons platform large enough to pop up and launch a few aircraft from. Way cheaper than nuclear powered options, difficult to hit with anti-ship missiles and almost impossible to find when it's sat waiting on the ocean floor. Ideal for maritime defence of scattered outposts in the disputed south china sea theatre.

    Mines the one with the microfilm in the pocket

    1. Your alien overlord - fear me

      Typhoon 175m, Titanic 269m. You're not an offshore accountant or something are you?

  23. phuzz Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Actually, this was the bit that made me laugh the most:

    "The Mail Online, through its “content partnership” with Chinese state newspaper the People’s Daily"

    I would have thought that the People's Daily had more morals than that.

    1. Not That Andrew
      Joke

      The People's Daily Mail

  24. tiggity Silver badge

    Mushy Mandelson

    Not unbelievable that Mandelson would promote it at all. I'm desperately hoping you implied it was unbelievable for comic effect

    If that meant him transferring a hefty wedge of cash he would be there ASAP

    No morals Mandy, the only consistent thing about his behavior is "what's in it for me?"

  25. hatti

    To avoid any copyright issues with the original ship why not name it Boaty McTitanic Face.

    Porter, I've decided to disembark. My robe if you will?

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Titanic - the Musical

    I do remember that the local news did run an item about a stage show that was a musical about the Titanic. Maybe the Chinese could incorporate that into the park?

  27. Defiant

    Swiched

    I honestly believe the ship that sank was the RMS Olympic, even some of the dockers said the ships were switched in dock over night for insurance purposes

    http://www.williammurdoch.net/articles_34_Titanic_switch_theory_03.html

  28. JJKing
    Flame

    No value for life

    Re: What are they thinking of?

    1500 doesn't sound all that much.

    Don't forget that this a country whose political leader said he would be willing to kill 1,000,000 if necessary to put down the Tiananmen Square protest. So, 1,500 per sinking gives them about 667 sinkings before they need to become more willing to add a few more to the total.

  29. I am the liquor

    Bernard Hill

    "...even featured a photo of film actor Bernard Hill, who played Captain Edward Smith in the James Cameron film about the doomed liner, posing in character with Chinese executives"

    Which character, though? Was he saying to them, "giz a job?"

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Take the idea and RUN with it. If you are going to be stupid, go the whole smash!

    Since we are mocking the deaths and suffering of thousands of people in an extreme show of poor taste, add a bit of.. er... flaff to the Tour:

    - Add two glass towers that can be repeatedly hit by two 767's and repeatedly "demolished" in a carefully built underground pit;

    - Add a whole parked fleet of destroyers and cruisers and other naval vessels that can be hit by authentic WWII-era airplanes carrying torpedoes and bombs, just on the opposite bank of the same river;

    - Add an hydrogen-filled dirigible that can be repeatedly ignited, burned, crashed, and re-raised to your pyromaniac's content.

    -----------------------=============--------------------------

    For fuck's sake. This has to break the record in the stupid and senseless category.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not so long ago the "constantly outraged" had a field day over an inflatable titanic in the "bouncy castle" category of kids entertainment. If you want to be outraged about something there are plenty of far more deserving causes - war, famine, child abuse, poverty...

  32. Tannin

    But where is Uncle Clive?

    Clive Palmer, that is. Or has he sunk without trace now?

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