back to article Mark Zuckerberg is dead – Facebook confirmed

A day after Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg declared it's a "crazy idea" that fake Facebook news may have influenced the election – never mind the persuasive power of its ads – the web giant took to issuing fake death notices. The piffling cyber-sideshow of holiday photos and made-up headlines plastered remembrance banners atop …

  1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Happy

    For a moment...

    See title.

    1. Mephistro
      Angel

      Re: For a moment...

      Yep! Same thing happened to me!.

      I'll put the Champagne back in the fridge.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Gimp

        Re: For a moment...

        You bastards! You scallywags!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: For a moment...

          The word you're looking for is scoundrels.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: For a moment...

            They are related:

            • bastard = a person considered to be mean or contemptible
            • scoundrel = a worthless or villainous person
            • scallywag = scamp; rascal (orig: white Southerner who supported Republican policy during Reconstruction, often for personal gain)

            The "freedictionary" seems more complete than Merriam-Webster regarding the "s-word". Just like the Urban Dictionary is more complete than the freedictionary regarding the "n-word", actually. Better post anonymously.

        2. jake Silver badge

          Re: For a moment...

          Got me, too.

          Ah, well. Eventually ...

          1. MyffyW Silver badge

            Re: For a moment...

            Being the opinionated flapper I am it's rare I can so categorically state:

            "Really couldn't care less one way or the other"

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sold Veteran's Day

    Sadly Facebook doesn't understand that 1 click restoration of memory isn't a living option for peoples emotions in the real world.

    1. Anonymous Custard
      Headmaster

      Re: Sold Veteran's Day

      Nah, I think Facebook just don't understand the concept of the real world.

      Or at least the bits of it that they don't own or control...

    2. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: Sold Veteran's Day

      He's a megalomaniac who is trying to own the www. There are too many suckers in the world helping him to do it. The web should be free and open. Fuck off Zuck.

      I don't wish him any ill-fate but I just wish he would stop is land-grab in his own interest and nobody else's.

  3. Florida1920

    News?

    Who was is Mark Zuckerberg and why should I care whether he's dead or alive?

    1. joed

      Re: News?

      He's the 2nd coming and did not even need 3 days for resurrection. On your knees and repent you sinful ignorant bastard.

      1. Teiwaz

        Re: News?

        "He's the 2nd coming and did not even need 3 days for resurrection. On your knees and repent you sinful ignorant bastard."

        If anything, that portrait pic the reg had up against a recent article reminds me of the Roman Emperor Caligula.

        I was rather hoping for a Grunthos the Flatulent scenario.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: News?

        He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: News?

          The two sets MESSIAH and NAUGHTYBOY are not necessarily disjoint.

    2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: News?

      Because he and his company are an influence in your daily life at about the same level as the elected head of state of your country. Even if you do not have a FB account and never visit it.

  4. Mark 85
    Thumb Down

    This is deplorable at any level

    To place fake "remembrance" messages on unsuspecting people's FB pages is truly the lowest thing I've ever heard of especially on Veteran's Day (Remembrance Day). This is just shocking and disgusting. Just goes to show the sick mind of the guy in charge.

    1. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: This is deplorable at any level

      You have heard of the concepts of "mistakes" and "errors", have you not?

      It's a crappy mistake (are there any others?) but a mistake nevertheless.

      I feel left out, as I don't have a FB account. I had my "I aten't dead" card all ready.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: This is deplorable at any level

        @ Gene Cash

        Of course it wasn't a mistake, error or cock-up. Zuck wanted to offend and piss off a great many people, wanted to attract peoples ire and have to make grovelling apologies, so obviously would have done it deliberately.

        Welcome to the post truth world where you get downvoted for stating the bleeding obvious.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: This is deplorable at any level

          "Of course it wasn't a mistake, error or cock-up. Zuck wanted to offend and piss off a great many people, wanted to attract peoples ire and have to make grovelling apologies, so obviously would have done it deliberately."

          In the long run, all publicity is good publicity.

          I wonder what the odds are of making that particular mistake on the that particular day?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: This is deplorable @ Gene Cash

        I had my "I aten't dead" card all ready.

        If it will make you fell better, I'll announce your demise in a new thread elsewhere in the forums. After a gushing but sadly inaccurate and unfelt eulogy, all Commentards can express their condolences, share fond memories. Give it a short while, and then you'll be able to play your card.

        Everybody will be happy - I'll have issued the sort of codswallop praise the politicians give each other when one joins the queue for the firey escalator, the Commentariat will have come together in grief and sorrow (and undoubtedly raised a glass or two), you'll be able to do your e-Lazarus routine, and then we'll all be relieved that in fact you're still with us.

    2. 404
      Mushroom

      Re: This is deplorable at any level

      All fun and games until your daughter's boyfriend is found dead on the same day FB fucks up. Everyone laughed and laughed that his was one of the pages affected up to then.

      Fuck you, Zuckerberg...

    3. Mage Silver badge

      Re: This is deplorable at any level

      "To place fake "remembrance" messages on unsuspecting people's FB pages is truly the lowest thing I've ever heard of"

      --> Even if they are already dead

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The focus groups loved it

    Sounds like a new Facebook feature: Deadbook

    1. MrDamage Silver badge

      Re: The focus groups loved it

      Given the quality of the "content" on there, more like BraindeadBook.

  6. Harry the Bastard
    Paris Hilton

    you build up my hopes

    then you dash them

    damn

  7. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    for a moment, the world over

    those who have lost someone because of the unchecked bullying that goes on on Facebook rejoiced.

    Sadly, their happines was short lived.(pity)

  8. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Bring out your dead!

    "I'm not dead yet!"

    .....

    "I don't want to go on that cart"

  9. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    I would have liked the opportunity to quote Mark Twain, but I don't have a Facebook account...

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Free publicity

    Google get it by crude and offensive racial stereotyping and age discrimiation.

    Facebook get it by f*cking up, either through negligence or intentionally as may be the case here.

  11. Fink-Nottle

    First we had Dead Steve Jobs, now Zombie Zuckerberg ... where's Rick Grimes when you need him.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    When Facebook posted the "Mark Zuckerburg is dead" page was there a "Like" button?

    Alternatively, sounds like an idea for a updated version of the Lieutenant Kije story

    1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Ink Blot

      Have one of these for knowing the story - I thought I was the only one left who did!!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Lieutenant Kije

      learning something new every day, here in El Reg Forums :)

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lieutenant_Kij%C3%A9_(film)

  13. bombastic bob Silver badge
    Devil

    The reports of my death...

    "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated"

    wasn't this a quote from Mark Twain?

    https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/marktwain141773.html

    Zuck should have used that. Then it would have been funny.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ah...

    Aw...

  15. Chris King
    Coat

    Ding Dong, The Witch Is...

    ...oh.

  16. Peter Clarke 1
    Coat

    One Confirmed Fatality

    The IT career of whoever the investigative committee find responsible- probably a low/middle level drone rather than a higher manager.

    Rule 1- don't make the boss look silly

  17. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Leonard Cohen RIP

    Does this mean there is a possibility that Leonard Cohen is still alive?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What is facebook?

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Trollface

      "What is facebook?"

      better off not knowing. nothing to see, move along.

  19. ashdav

    So close...

    But yet so far.

    It will come, oh yes, it will come.

    (paraphrasing Mr Cooke)

  20. Anonymous C0ward

    'E's not dead

    'E's pining for the fjords!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why

    Is racial targeting a bad thing?

    If I was in the business of manufacturing dreidels it'd be reasonably impractical targeting your average Chinese person.

    Racial targeting has a place if used correctly.

    If it is done in a way that is clearly racist, offensive or derogatory. That is a matter for the people at large to decide not the politically correct brigade to decide.

    If I as a businessman know my target demographic should I not be able to specifically target it?

    Marketing has always been discriminatory regardless of race. It makes marketing more effective and less wasteful from an economic point of view.

    I mean come on who in the real world these days wants extreme political correctness?

    A lot of people I know from various different races would rather not bang the political correctness drum.

    What needs to be tackled is fundamental inequality.

    If you look at scientific funding for example.

    A friend of mine who is of Nigerian heritage but holds a British passport is struggling to get funding at the moment. He is an exceptional chap and has done some very interesting research into cardiology. The guy is incredible.

    He was researching at the University of North Carolina but he has had numerous funding and visa issues.

    In trying to get more funding he discovered that as a black male he is at upto a 60% disadvantage. Regardless of his research. He currently has no funding. He has been working on his research for nearly a decade.

    That is truly sickening. Flinging tat via Facebook with racial targeting is bollocks in comparison.

    I know a large proportion of the people here will feel the same way.

    If I could fund the guy I absolutely would. Who isnt interested in solving the intricate aspects of heart disease?

    Just because this guy is black we'll have to wait longer.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Why

      Wrong thread, AC, Might want to re-post over here:

      http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/11/11/facebook_racial_affinity_ads/

      HTH, HAND

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    crazy idea

    When do we get to burn Zuckerberg at the stake for Hillary's failures? He must have been working with the Russians all along!

  23. Kernel

    Like they say

    If it sound too good to be true it probably isn't.

    Alas, I am another one who's hopes were briefly raised and then dashed on to the sharp rocks of reality - again.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No?

    Can we have a whip around...

  25. Jedit Silver badge

    Will you please just stop, 2016?

    Leonard Cohen dead, Robert Vaughn dead, Mark Zuckerberg alive - when will the madness end?

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