back to article When Pornhub meets the Internet of Fridges

We are indebted to "Lourdes" for this tweet. Omfg I'm at Home Depot and someone put pornhub on this refrigerator pic.twitter.com/BJgIOORZqC — Lourdes (@gossipgriII) September 29, 2016 The internet of fridges, huh! Head over to the comments to make your caption suggestion. ® President Lisa Simpson face palm

  1. Bill M

    Cold Beer at Orgies

    I often fancy a cold beer after a work out at an orgy.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: Cold Beer at Orgies

      Personally I prefer the hard stuff.

      Pass me the ice, and pour me a stiff one.

      No, don't stop pouring. Mine's a large one.

    2. Pompous Git Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Cold Beer at Orgies

      I often fancy a cold beer after a work out at an orgy.

      I've never shagged a beer, at an orgy or otherwise. What's it like? Presumably your partner has a Bishop's Finger.

  2. lafnlab
    Thumb Up

    It's not a bug, it's a feature.

  3. wolfetone Silver badge

    Internet Enabled Fridges: Measuring Temperature In Nipple Hardness since 2016

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      It is not even an internet enabled fridge

      It is a tablet bolted onto a fridge. Real IoT and internet enabled fridge functionality somewhere right around absolute zero.

  4. RockBurner

    "Home Depot white goods audition for part in 9 and a Half Weeks remake"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      And then the dreaded wet cleanup in white goods aisle over the store PA. Sucks to be that guy.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Clearly it's not frigid...

    ...I'll get my coat, it's cold out

  6. psychonaut

    finally....

    somewhere i can keep the fanny batter fresh for weeks

  7. Rich 11

    Rule 34

    The shop assistant is simple demonstrating that the shiny new internet-enabled refrigerator is perfectly suited to appeal to both the I-wank-in-the-kitchen-at-three-in-the-morning market and the but-honestly-love-I-only-came-for-an-orange-juice market.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Rule 34

      I'm a secret lemonade drinker...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Aren't you supposed to take your sausage out of the fridge and not take it out at the fridge.

    Could work for dieters by showing something with one cup and two girls.

    Also, What can you order online from such an IoT fridge?

    1. JudeKay (Written by Reg staff)

      OK, who signed the Reg up to live sex cam spam?

      Speak up, you lot. Normally when we get an email with "discreet" in the subject line, it's somebody misspelling discrete and it's about disk drives.

      1. Alistair
        Coat

        Re: OK, who signed the Reg up to live sex cam spam?

        JudeKay:

        Considering some of the 'new account' rants in certain threads, I'm guessing you folks have a) a new 'fan' and b) a fairly long list of new 'accounts' out there......

        But then getting the feeble-minded irritated and doing stupid stuff means you might be hitting the right buttons.

        1. Stevie

          Re: OK, who signed the Reg up to live sex cam spam?

          My guess would be an infuriated Home Despot bigwig or "web-enabled" fridge manufacturer.

  9. Chris G

    Arse in the fridge

    Well, it would be nice to have something cool to slip into after a hard day at work.

  10. Mystic Megabyte
    Happy

    True!

    I actually had freezer instructions that told me how to avoid "Freezer bum".

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. Tromos

    Pornhub fridge

    Where else would you take the hot chicks to chill out?

  12. JimmyPage Silver badge
    FAIL

    Network security fail

    so, the implication is HomeDepots internet does not block PornHub by default ?

    1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: Network security fail

      But if they blocked PornHub some First Amendment advocate might threaten a Second Amendment solution and they would probably be backed by Net Neutrality advocates as well.

      Or perhaps this is simply an example of what happens when America hands over control of the Internet :-)

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Official advertising

    Pornhub outbid other advertisers to appear on this company's 'fridges.

    1. Stevie

      Re: Official advertising

      I'd have given you a beer but you are wearing that mask and they don't have straws here.

  14. tr1ck5t3r

    Brings a whole new meaning to chilled fluids and chilled birds...

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Mayonnaise?

      Where we're going, we don't need mayonnaise.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. lansalot

    Wouldn't cause a problem if they use Deep Freeze...

  16. Ebec

    and a side order of...

    so will it order and a side order of Aphrodisiacs.. for you once connected to porn hub ?

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: and a side order of...

      Our algorithm has ordered you carrot and oyster pie. Carrots so you can see in the dark, and oysters so there's something to look at.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    EReaders Wifey Enabled?

  18. Tom_

    Come to Home Depot...

    ...and fill your kitchen with smeg.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Re: Come to Home Depot...

      I find your sugestion a bit Indesit on a subject that could become a Hotpoint.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Come to Home Depot...

        Beko ause...?

        1. wolfetone Silver badge

          Re: Come to Home Depot...

          I Candy believe you have to ask why.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Come to Home Depot...

            No Siemens gags... really?

            1. The Sod Particle

              Re: Come to Home Depot...

              well if you're going to have a Bosch...

              1. wolfetone Silver badge

                Re: Come to Home Depot...

                You're all making a Miele of this.

            2. Mark 65

              Re: Come to Home Depot...

              No Siemens gags... really?

              Never thought you'd Asko

  19. x 7

    well, it should know the right temperature to keep cucumbers and carrots.

    Also it should be able to warn when you're running out of condoms. You do keep your condoms in the fridge don't you? Makes them fit tighter and gives a rougher experience.

    What you really need is to link the fridge to Adultwork. That way you could synch booking an escort with the fridge automatically placing an order for the champagne

  20. TRT Silver badge

    Ah... right... slight misunderstanding there. So you wanted ...

    a fridge which could display a live view of the contents of the salad drawer so that the user could tell if their lettuce was fresh without opening the door or even using a web browser at their office. You see, when you asked me for a feed from a webb cam ... well, naturally...

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Ah... right... slight misunderstanding there.

      To be honest, you brought the problem on yourself when you asked if the LCD panel on the door could display what's on the top shelf.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Ah... right... slight misunderstanding there. So you wanted ...

      I need to know the contents of all my drawers, so I know if I have mayo on my meat and two veg...

  21. emmanuel goldstein

    Home Depot salesman:

    "... and this is the Frankie Vaughan model ..."

    1. Mark Chapman

      Re: Home Depot salesman:

      Do you mean Frankie Boyle, or are you suggesting the easy listening singer likes a bit of porn?

  22. Stevie

    Bah!

    In that case, shouldn't the door of this pornofridge be green?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      Only if it's signed with a site certificate and using HTTPS...

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    In So-IoT Russia....

    Refrigerator makes you hot!!

  24. Alister
    Coat

    Time for a remake!

    Debbie Does Sallad

  25. MrKrotos

    Does it automatically use the interwebs to book an engineer in when it breaks down?

    Guy in overalls turns up "I've come to mend the fridge!"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Holmes

      "Lord,you can imagine where it goes from here..."

      "He fixes the cable?"

      "Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey"

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Haagen Daz?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Ya! Ich bin haagen ein wunderbar daz. Aber ich fühle mich so geil.

      *bum... bum bum bum... chikka*

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IoP

    Internet of Porn, move on, nothing to see here, move on...

  28. TRT Silver badge

    Why did the tomato blush?

    Because it saw the salad dressing.

  29. Paul Woodhouse

    that is brilliant... I'm guessing the webpage is supposed to be some online retailers homepage/shopping page to order things to fill the fridge with and someone has managed to hack the fridge to point it elsewhere...

    wonder if the hack was done from the internet or someone on the shops internal network.

    hmm... can see it'd be REALLY easy to do if you had access to the DNS server the fridge is using, think this'll get hammered in as an IOT is crap security again though?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Actually this is an easy hack using a mobile hot spot.

  30. NonSSL-Login
    Joke

    I have noticed you are down to your last 4TB of porn, so I have auto ordered you Pornhub as it had the fastest delivery time.

  31. returnofthemus

    It's ok dear

    I'll get my own beer

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "How to use whipped cream."

    That was the query.

    Obviously.

  33. Mystereed
    Coat

    The IOT version of Clippy?

    "You seem to be looking for a cream pie..."

  34. Captain Obvious

    Boy everyone.....look at how much

    "flash" memory this fridge has!

  35. g33k3ss

    I mean usually...

    ...the frigid chicks don't put out!

  36. s5PGmU
    Coffee/keyboard

    I(ot)ception!

    https://twitter.com/thornebrandt/status/782727298814390276

  37. cosymart
    Childcatcher

    Flixible Friend

    I noticed that there is a sticker on the front for a "Flex Zone" ??? Is this for those who bend both ways?

  38. Captain Obvious

    I can think of....

    69 uses for this fridge!

  39. doug johnston

    Opening the door to 'Flexi Zone' could be interesting

  40. Captain Obvious

    Hey honey

    Can you please pass me the VR goggles?

  41. doug johnston

    The Internet of Things to come?

  42. MrDamage Silver badge

    It's marketing material

    They just wanted to show how many salamis, tuna casseroles, baps and buns could fit in it.

  43. Mr Dogshit

    Something something Arçelik

    Koç Holding

    There's a joke in here somewhere if I could only find it.

  44. Mark 85
    Joke

    I re-cant all my previous negatvity about IoT.. *

    This finally explains IoT in a way that puts it in perspective by providing entertainment whilst preparing the post-pub neckfiller.

    Somewhere, I suspect that Lester would be pleased about this development.

    *ok.. I'm not actually re-canting. The stuff is still a security nightmare.

  45. lukewarmdog

    Sorry you wanted a 99?

    My bad I got you 69s

  46. Pompous Git Silver badge

    Where's the liver?

    What? No liver? I want to make a complaint!

  47. Andrew Jones 2

    I know you are all having fun with this one - but you know it's fake right?

    https://twitter.com/K4LENhasnohoes/status/780148785359966208 this was the original tweet.

  48. Frumious Bandersnatch

    Dirk Gently with me

    I've got Internet hang-ups

    (with apologies to DNA)

  49. You aint sin me, roit
    Paris Hilton

    Does it order a new Russian bride...

    ... just before you wear out the old one?

    (Paris, 'cos she's blond and objectified)

  50. x 7

    does that fridge have a special place to put the whipped cream?

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Theresa May...

    Oh the thought...Theresa May munching on Teresa May.

  52. BlackKnight(markb)

    A new use for Sammies Note 7's? should keep the batteries cold at least.

  53. Driver's Door
    WTF?

    "Market" Size

    What is your best guess as to the total market-size of hard-core long-term¹ users? Remind me, what problem is this product suppose to solve²?

    ¹AKA people that use it for more than a week.

    ²Mine-is-bigger-than-yours arguments. The new owner can claim "mine is so large that it has its own internet connection."

  54. madflack

    Hey, I heard they were looking for a "crisper" image but that's all they could find.

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