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back to article Red Devil assaults Burnley FC's stadium roof

Burnley FC has suspended all pre-match entertainments at its Turf Moor stadium after a member of the elite Red Devils parachute team performed an unscheduled assault on the roof of the ground's David Fishwick stand, the BBC reports. In what Burnley described as a "major embarrassment", kick-off of Saturday's clash with Ipswich …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    LMAO

    Just that, lol

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  2. Matt

    Should have gone with the Italian babes

    Pride before a fall young Mr Para!

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  3. Seán

    Tsk

    Perhaps if the red devils ask really really nicely the Italians could give them some training. A beginners course perhaps from one of the girls, from some steps or a high chair.

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  4. Steve
    Paris Hilton

    Always look on the Turf Moor for sh&*e

    Oh how we fell about laughing at half-time at Deepdale when they told us what was going on up the road at the Dingles!

    Paris, because even she know's not to go to Burnley!

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  5. Boring Bob
    Thumb Down

    Drivel

    "The error made by the individual concerned had a significant impact on the match and caused major embarrassment to Burnley Football Club."

    What a load of whimsy rubbish! Sounds like they are trying to justify a compensation claim.

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  6. Tim

    Ha ha, hypocrites....

    Serves em right for having a go when people wanted to watch the italian girls skydiving. Elite parachute regiment my arse....

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  7. Simon C
    Paris Hilton

    I thats called in the trade

    poetic justice.

    I mean I have respect for the red devils, they are a one in a million outfit, but for one of their members to predict an event and then epically fail is just sheer brilliance.

    Paris, coz she would have bet on those odds.

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  8. Marvin the Martian
    Dead Vulture

    They're asking for it!

    So if you decide to name your team after the phenomenal Belgian national football squad*, are you aiming for (a) greatness, (b) grandness or (c) gaffes?

    The vulture icon as it exhibits the same savoir faire.

    [*name coined in 1906, see e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belgium_national_football_team ]

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  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Training?

    These men are the best trained in the world, they don't need no more effing training just a bigger cross.

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  10. m0rph3us
    Happy

    Burnley

    Burnley:

    I'll tell you now and I'll tell you firmly

    I don't never want to go to Burnley

    What they do there don't concern me

    Why would anybody make the journey?

    I'll tell you know and I'll tell you flatly

    I don't never want to go to Gatley

    I don't even want to go to Batley

    Where is that place exactly

    Do I wanna to go to Redditch?

    I wouldn't visit in a souped-up sheddish

    what am I some kind of Nebbish?

    No I don't want to go to Reddish

    I'll tell you now and I'll tell you briefley

    I don't never want to go to Keighley

    I'll tell you now, just like I told Elsa Lanchester...

    I don't ever want to go to... Cumbernauld

    LYRICS © JOHN COOPER CLARKE

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  11. James Bassett
    Heart

    "landing on a cross"

    Does this mean the Paras are offering to crucify themselves? Seems a bit harsh for a Saturday afternoon balls-up in a strong cross-wind.

    *incidentally, I would like to make it clear I have nothing but the utmost respect for "The Devils". I've met a few of them. They could turn me to pulp and I suffer from a severe allergy to pain.

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  12. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Wrong stadium

    Shouldn't the Red Devils be falling in the box at Old Trafford, not Burnley?

    Mine's the one with the Liverpool scarf in the pocket

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  13. Simon Riley
    Happy

    Burnley + aerial gimmicks

    In a town where the locals still point at planes they should avoid aerial pre-match gimmicks.

    Have they found their blimp yet?

    Staying down 4 ever, love Rovers!

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  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How times change

    I used to do quite a bit of this long ago,

    back in the end of July 1980 my display team were contracted to do the jumps at Brands Hatch, it being the UK the weather was crap and conditions were frankly illegal for the display.

    But, we needed the money so we went ahead anyway. The cloud base was so low that we had to run in below it and pull up into the cloud to get the minimum height for exit.

    As the aircraft was at such a steep angle I got wedged in the door on the way out and got 'helped' out with a size 12 to the back of the head (thanks Ken).

    Came out of the cloud base at about 800 ft with a pile of crap above my head instead of a serviceable canopy so I cut away at about 600 ft, (released the main so I could use the reserve).

    Ended up missing the DZ by not too much due to the gale force wind and landed in a patch of cowshit between two cars in the car park next to someone having a spot of liquid lunch.

    When I got back to the DZ (covered in shit), the organiser came up to me and said Hey, the crowd just loved that, can you do it again tomorrow?

    I mumbled something about possibly, it depends how wrecked I am when I repack my canopies and lurched of to receive the mandatory 2 hours of piss taking by the rest of the team.

    (No apologies needed or wanted)

    Thanks Lester for the excuse to look back in my log book, brought back lots of good memories.

    (Respect to Mike Wills, gone but not forgotten)

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  15. Chris Griffiths
    Stop

    @Steve

    "Oh how we fell about laughing at half-time at Deepdale when they told us what was going on up the road at the Dingles!

    Paris, because even she know's not to go to Burnley!"

    Hey - I'm from the "Dingles" and I ref....no, actually, I dont. It's Burnley's a hole, with only a few nice places (The westbound M65 is kinda OK).

    But dont get too smug there - Preston's not much better (city my eye - where's the cathedral? And dont get me started on Preston Polytechnic!)

    I moved from one to the other, so I feel free to critizise both...

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  16. Snake Plissken
    Black Helicopters

    Ah,

    You can always rely on my beloved Clarets to cock it up on a big scale. After the Grauniad put us at dark horses for promotion that was the kiss of death on our season.

    Have to laugh at the likes of Simon Riley though. At night you lot still chuck rocks at the moon to try and knock it out of the sky.

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  18. Jim
    Thumb Up

    @Peter Timon

    Sounds like most displays I experienced.

    I remember doing a jump into Coniston Water and someone missing it.

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  19. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    OK, own up...

    Who moved the cross?

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  20. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Burnley

    its not that bad, but we make the news for the wrong reasons all too often. This however was completely out of the control of anyone from Burnley, so.. we're quite happy for it to be in the news, because it wasn't our fault :D

    although.. Burnley would be a lot better without the chavs who call you scum for not giving them a quid to go and buy smack with when you've just come back from a place where people are as nice to you as they are in Bristol.. not that I favour the welsh particularly, just, they dont threaten to beat you up for your money as much... well must go, it's time for my bin to be put out for its once fortnightly collection.. no doubt to be pushed over by chavs that climb over the [VERY poorly designed] gates the council provided on our back street, which actually look like you're meant to climb over them, not that this has any relevance to the incident at turf moor, but I thought i would get some council bashing in.. what did the council ever do for us?

    ..Ahh yes.. Burnley...

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  21. David Millward
    Happy

    Yellow card issued

    for DESCENT

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