Need I say anything...?
"...my love of playing organ music and giving my gift back to God"
Ohhh God!!
fnarr!!
A church organist is due before the beak next month after he allegedly thrust his pink pipe through a glory hole in excelsis and “waited” for someone to make sweet music. 74-year-old Jerry Michael Childress is alleged to have entered the bog in a Brooksville, Florida-based park and, er, pulled out all the stops, a report by …
I can't imagine the number of Hail Mary's this guy is going to have to go through.
Not to mention being the leper of the congregation for the rest of his life.
Such a sad way to ruin one's reputation in exchange for what, a one-minute thrill ?
He certainly won't be playing any organ in public any more.
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"He certainly won't be playing any organ in public any more."
But I hear he has been entertaining the congregation in his local prison chapel with his organ playing, performing the following episcopal delights:-
'Fantasy in a minor'
'Cock of Ages'
'Thine Be The Glory Hole'
'Pre-lube in C Major'
'O Lamm Gott Un Schlong'
'Kyrie Elation'
'Handel's Hornypipe'
'Cum Holy Spirit'
And for the grand finale, Heber's famous masterpeice, 'Holey, Holey, Holey'...
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Also carry a packet of honey from one of the fast food joints. After the clamping, squirt some honey on it to draw some flies and maybe ants. Then go outside, have a cup of coffee, maybe a cigarette or two and then call the cops.
However, in the US atmosphere lately, one could probably be sued for using the vice grips... so maybe, clamp, honey, and leave....
Icon... I'm feeling a bit evil today....
Glory, Glory Holelleuia
So he likes having his organ pipe played, what's the news? Its been a traditional right (and a traditional rite) in all parts of the Christian church for years. Remember - before the advent of electric bellows, organs had to be hand pumped, usually by the village children, who would get rewarded in kind at the end of the service by the organist or verger. Godliness is next to Beastliness.
.. for admitting what he did. If he'd denied everything it would have been his word against the lorry driver's and never reached court.
It also seem to me to be a rather risky pastime. The stranger in the next cubicle might well respond by impaling the phallic intruder with a large pin or similar of a length greater than the diameter of the hole, effectively trapping the hapless exhibitionist by his todger.