I don't see why not.
I spent years married to an inanimate object!
...
Wasn't getting off on it though, hence the past tense.
Man sues YET AGAIN for chance to marry his computer
A Tennessee man is suing Utah because, like the rest of America, it won't let him marry his computer. Chris Sevier has previously complained that Apple let him become addicted to porn; now he wants to “go legal” with the love of his life. In a leap of logic that gave El Reg a side-eye headache, he's also miffed that he can't …
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Friday 1st July 2016 05:33 GMT Anonymous Coward
Utah is a common-law marriage state. All he has to do is wait, then announce it in the papers (just to piss everybody off). There is also, in the US, the ability for Indian Nations to perform a tribal ceremony, so there's possibilities there.
Plus you might as well let him marry the computer, because he's never getting laid again now this has hit the papers.
Not convinced of the chap's sanity; but I can't see that it does any harm or is any of anyone else's business.
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Friday 1st July 2016 06:04 GMT Anonymous Coward
Linux would be cheap, accommodating and a little bit basic.
Actually, had another way to solve the chap's problems...he could send away for one of those mail-order license to marry (or rent a boat to captain) and -with a bit of video editing- perform and star in the ceremony himself. I'd love to see what the courts could do about that. If they even bothered, the case would be hilarious.
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Friday 1st July 2016 09:25 GMT Voland's right hand
Re: ReL Windows computers aren't marriage material because
Perhaps if you married your Windows PC it would stop going down on you all the time.
Cough... cough... sputter... sputter... And why do you think it is good for it to stop doing so? In the context of the spirit of such discussions on The Register of course: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/02/11/itaughttaylorswifthowtogiveheadcom/
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Friday 1st July 2016 10:03 GMT VinceH
Re: ReL Windows computers aren't marriage material because
If it wasn't for the mention of Apple, I'd be inclined to think he wants to put his dongle in Microsoft. (NSFW)
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Friday 1st July 2016 11:07 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: ReL Windows computers aren't marriage material because
> Cough... cough... sputter... sputter... And why do you think it is good for it to stop doing so?
Because it's apparently not PC to be intimate with your HW
http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/latest/2015/09/15/anti_robot_prostitution_campaign/
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Friday 1st July 2016 08:53 GMT M7S
Is it perhaps a cunning legal ploy?
If they have anything where he lives like the law that used to apply in the UK (repealed many many decades ago) where IIRC a wife could not be forced to testify against her husband in any trial, then this would allow him to get up to all sorts of computer related shenanigans and be immune to any searches of his PC by law enforcement.
Could start a trend for hackers if this wild guess is anywhere near the mark.
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Friday 1st July 2016 10:26 GMT Anonymous Coward
1) Just charge him 5K for the marriage paperwork (still cheaper than the wedding, even if the fiancée doesn't invite many guest from her side - well or at least they don't drink a lot)
2) tell him any future upgrade will need a divorce (same fee) and a re-marriage.
And that's it! Now he can, but does not want to do it anymore...
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Friday 1st July 2016 11:25 GMT Yugguy
Sometimes
We just need to say "just shut up and fuck off you daft cunt" to people like this. What a fucking waste of everyone's time over one sad wanker.
Son, we all crack one off now and then whilst browsing certain sites, but most of us have the sense not to make a fuss about it. (Yes, I'm aware of the irony.)
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Friday 1st July 2016 14:18 GMT JcRabbit
All joking aside, I'm not at all surprised that something like this is happening.
One of the strongest arguments for same-sex marriage against those who were opposed to it was 'it doesn't hurt you personally, so let others be free to do as they want'. And here is the result. Marriage was supposed to be something beautiful and sacred, the union between a man and a woman and the corner stone to the creation of a family.
Now it''s just a joke, it lost all the original meaning.
Well done, you might as well let this guy marry his computer. After all, it doesn't hurt anyone. :)
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Friday 1st July 2016 15:13 GMT Anonymous Coward
And here is the result. Marriage was supposed to be something beautiful and sacred, the union between a man and a woman and the corner stone to the creation of a family.
No, here is your bigotry. Marriage still is something sacred and beautiful, the union between two people who love each other regardless of their sex. And with adoption, many gay couples have raised happy families.
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Friday 1st July 2016 15:21 GMT Flocke Kroes
Marriage has been a range of different things
From certificate of ownership of a woman to a promise to protect children. What one group calls sacred another might call strange, silly or frightening. Marriage has been beautiful for some and a joke to others for decades if not centuries. Thanks to the internet, both points of view are now brought straight to you laptop with pictures.
Today a computer cannot give consent and it cannot care whether it is treated with love or torture. One day it might be possible to replace a brain cell with a circuit that performs identically. Next imagine repeating that procedure billions of times. Is the result an electronic human with rights or a machine with none? I hope the law will be able to make a sensible distinction in time, or Elon will return to Earth to find humans became slaves to robo-butlers after they understood Planet of the Apes.
I have no problem with this guy buying a marriage to his non-sentient computer, or another marrying a tea pot. I have no problem with half the internet laughing at him. Some people will feel threatened by such marriages, just like some people feel threatened by CIA mind control rays broadcast from satellites. Half the internet laughs at them already. (In the UK we laugh silently for fear of being arrested.)
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
