Nomenclature
Henceforth I shall refer to the Brit naturalist and broadcaster as Sir Davey McAttenbroughface
The Natural Environment Research Council (NERC) has announced that its shiny new £200m, 15,000 tonne polar research ship will be named RRS Sir David Attenborough, in honour of the Brit naturalist and broadcaster. The RRS Sir David Attenborough. Pic: NERC While a public vote overwhelmingly came down in favour of dubbing the …
"Attenborough ... won a scholarship to Clare College, Cambridge in 1945, where he studied geology and zoology and obtained a degree in natural sciences"
Not 'just a TV presenter', he actually knows his stuff as well.
He has done more for environmental protection than most people can ever hope to achieve.
No doubt you think those goons that sit on the beeb sofa in the morning are "journalists".
Well even I draw a line at concluding that... I might even make umbrage at their descriptions as presenters - if the definition includes common sense and an ability to interpret the material they are fed.
You miss the bit where he has brought generations up watching and learning about wildlife and inspired a fair few scientists and such to take up their craft, seriously have you seen a lot of other wildlife programs? Plus as a wildlife geek Attenboroughs programs are some of the few I tend to learn or see something new.
It's pretty much par for the course.
In western australia we have a state theater named after local lad Heath Ledger (you may have heard of him), trouble is Heath never actually did theater since he was a film actor. But the pollies don't really know the difference and don't really care anyway.
How terribly British. We pretend to do democracy, because we can ignore the results if we don't like them.
Science should be dignified and dull, no room for fun. And yet many of the same people will wring their hands at the appalling lack understanding of science amongst the public, but how many research vessels can their children name?
Do a public consultation and ignore the results. How is this different from "UK govt admits it pulled 10-year file-sharing jail sentence out of its arse"?
Democracy in the hands of idiots is a very dangerous tool - and usually doesn't last long in the same hands anyway. Some clever people knows how to take advantage of idiots and enslave them.
Sometimes people should have to understand when it's time for fun and when it's not. Otherwise, when you believe you can always have fun, the result is usually a Pinocchio's Toyland... or some of its real, even darker versions.
The trouble is, that idiotic twattery is democratic, which we are told is a DamnedGudThing.
I am pondering the stability of a highly complex technological system that denies anyone a decent education, and gives them a vote instead.
Boaty McBoatface is harmless enough.
But I've seen city councils get voted in to 'get rid of city traffic', do so, and then wonder why 'the high street is almost derelict'.
"I am pondering the stability of a highly complex technological system that denies anyone a decent education, and gives them a vote instead."
It's been pondered already
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Indeed. Here in the SF Bay Area, various advertising attempts have been made to re-name sports venues. They are still called "Candlestick (RIP)", "The Yard", "Sears Point", Laguna Seca", "The Colosseum", "The Arena", "The Shark Tank", etc.
Boaty will be Boaty until long after retirement, .gov opinion not withstanding.
The RRS Sir David Attenborough will be constructed at Merseyside shipbuilding yard Cammell Laird, and is due to enter service in 2019
Let's hope construction goes more swimmingly than the aircraft carrier/F-35B balls-up, else we won't have a Boaty McBoatface submersible to launch off the new ship in time for Attenborough's centenary.
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No it doesn't. It goes to show that voting for suggestions that are unsuitable or inappropriate may not get past the judging panel who have to actually make the real decision, and answer for it.
This is not a break down of democracy. It is not a curtailment of our rights. It is not proof of an uncaring Universe.
It is however a damn fine example of the mass lunacy the Internet can loose on the world.
No it doesn't. It goes to show that voting for suggestions that are unsuitable or inappropriate may not get past the judging panel who have to actually make the real decision, and answer for it.
If a specific choice gets more than 4 times the votes of any other choice, then that choice is, by the very definition of "democratic", considered both suitable and appropriate by the majority, otherwise it wouldn't have been voted for.
Just because you disagree with it does not make it the wrong choice. I disagree with the notion that the British Nationalist Party are either suitable or appropriate for power, however I am honour bound to accept that if they get voted in that it is the will of the population.
"Boaty McBoatface" was also the will of the population.
You missed the point.
The Public was not being asked to CHOOSE the name, merely come up with suggestions. According to the news reports NERC clearly stated they would choose the name. As for the whole "yes it was suitable because lots of people on the internet voted".. you really don't get British humour do you? We have made a glorious history of being wildly inappropriate (rightly or wrongly) because we think it's funny (rightly or wrongly) and "suitability" has not even had a walk on part.
Whether or not I disagree is spectacularly irrelevant. Your whole BNP slant falls down around your ankles because the Poll was NOT to decide the name whereas an election IS to decide who will govern.
The Public was not being asked to CHOOSE the name, merely come up with suggestions. According to the news reports NERC clearly stated they would choose the name. As for the whole "yes it was suitable because lots of people on the internet voted".. you really don't get British humour do you? We have made a glorious history of being wildly inappropriate (rightly or wrongly) because we think it's funny (rightly or wrongly) and "suitability" has not even had a walk on part.
I get exactly what you are saying, however every piece of coverage I've seen for this mentions that lots of people "voted" for a particular suggestion after it had been made. If you are asking simply for a list of suggestions, then any kind of "like" or "vote" functionality is irrelevant and thus shouldn't be present, only the method of providing your suggestion.
Yes, we all knew they would ignore the silly options, but if they are going to allow for voting on the suggestions as part of their site, then that's their own petard they seem to have been caught on... what people are seeing is some form of reneging on an implicit (unspoken) vote even though they knew the favourite was unlikely to ever be picked.
Not sure where "you really don't get British humour" came from either, given I was supporting the premise that they should have gone with the popular choice, rather than the sensible one.
Yours sincerely,
Disgusted of Kent
"This is not a break down of democracy. It is not a curtailment of our rights ..."
Presuming for a moment that what you say is true ...
Can you then explain, just for starters, in not more than 50,000 words, Tony McDossier, Gordo McBrownnose and Davie Mc2face??
Mass Lunacy?
"This is not a break down of democracy. It is not a curtailment of our rights. It is not proof of an uncaring Universe."
It's a breakdown in democracy, its a curtailment of rights, and the universe doesn't give a toss. They shouldn't have offered it up for a vote if they didn't want a voted result.
Boaty was a fun name blocked by humourless suits who decided to trump their own vote.
"It is however a damn fine example of the mass lunacy the Internet can loose on the world."
Lighten up, Boaty McBoatface is the chosen name, and nothing else is acceptable.
"...with this new polar research ship they will be able to go further and discover more than ever before."
Wouldn't any discovery at all be more than ever before? Perhaps a few more hours and a dose of weekend will improve my outlook. I look forward to seeing whatever wonders the crew of the Boaty McBoatface RRS Sir David Attenborough share with the world. Good luck to them all!
I can't wait to hear the first time Sir David Attenborough describes something or other whilst standing on the deck of the RRS Sir David Attenborough. Will he mention the name of the ship, or not? And if I hear that Attenborough is being buffeted by gales in the Southern Ocean (or has made interesting new penguin observations), will it be about the ship, or is the BBC filming a new nature documentary? Or, possibly, both?
... is anyone surprised that they snubbed "Boaty McBoatface"? Let us remember they unapologeticaly and silently vetoed and deleted "Blas de Lezo" from the candidates, when it became a real possibility that it might supplat BMB in the first place.
And that, kids, is why you don't hold public naming competitions anymore.
It's the same solution they used for the ISS Tranquility module.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treadmill_with_Vibration_Isolation_Stabilization#Naming_COLBERT
Predictable name goes on the real thing and the internet's choice gets a consolation prize which I think is a decent compromise. Come on, they were never going to call the ship Boaty McBoatface.
>Good name, I'd have gone with "Belgrano" as having more recent resonance.
Quite similarly known as the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Ship in Brit circles. Probably not the resonance you think either - worth reading what Captain Bonzo has since said/written about the legitimacy of it's sinking.
Too bad proper British values and common sense couldn't keep this nonsense from happening in the first place.
I wonder what Admiral Nelson would have thought of such a scheme. I'm sure his reaction would have been quite educational - once he'd managed to stop sputtering indignantly.
Too bad proper British values
What are those then? Child labour? The Corn Laws? Monumental hypocrisy? If we're lucky and Bojo willing, we'll be getting them back soon enough.
The only value here was not taking the whole thing too seriously.
I wonder what Admiral Nelson would have thought of such a scheme.
"Who cares? Someone let me out of this damned box!"
On a marginally more serious note, this is one of the weirdest appeals to authority I've seen lately. Why should Nelson's opinion carry any special weight? But then it follows a baldfaced argumentum ad verecundiam, so I suppose it's hardly surprising. I expect a reference to the probable wrath of the deity was the next arrow in your quiver.
We might have dodged a bullet...
Imagine if things go horribly wrong. I doubt that any BBC Radio 4 newscaster could get through the sentence ‘Thousands are feared dead and an environmental catastrophe looms after a collision between an ocean liner and the science vessel RRS Boaty McBoatface off of the Antarctic Peninsula’ without breaking down weeping with laughter.
"our" marine environment? I thought it was going to Antarctica?
Perhaps we should seize the south pole for the empire - it would be nice to have a 2nd former colony that doesn't beat us at cricket.
I voted for the Scot, William S Bruce, whose privately funded scientific research expedition was highly successful and came back with no fatalities and under budget.
So, no chance that a government / publically funded research ship would be called after him then.
Still, best wishes to the scientists and crew.
What are they calling the helicopter?
Falmouth Coastguard, Falmouth Coastguard, Falmouth Coastguard. This is RSS David Attenborough, RSS David Attenborough. We are giving notice that we will be deploying diving operations with ROV Boaty McBoatface in Lat blah Long blah. They will trip over everything all the time!
Thomas and his Mates had been seconded to Merseyside, Liverpool in order to transport all of the steel and other bits needed to build a new ship. Oh how the tracks moaned and buckled in a Liverpudlian way whilst the build was in progress but the Fat Controller kept all of the team in line.
Eventually the day came when the ship was finished and The Queen turned up to launch it. Thomas and all his mates lined up on the sidings to watch the event surrounded by disgruntled Liverpudlians with oxyacetylene torches.
Apparently the shipyard would be closed after this launch but they still felt a sense of pride at having helped to build such a nice looking ship with a very important job. The Fat Controller had even paid for their holiday with Tata in India as a reward.
After a lot of Pomp and Ceremony The Queen raised her bottle of Champagne on a Rope and announced,
"I Name this Ship The RSS Sir David Attenborough. May God bless her and all who sail in her!"
"WHAT!!1!! Look here Mrs. Before you slap my Arse with that bottle of Champagne how can you call me a Her and then name me as a Bloke and whilst I am on the case does my other end, My Face, in any way shape or form resemble that of this David Attenborough bloke. Good grief woman, he is not yet dead and yet you wish that upon him? See my Front End.. Sigh, look can someone wheel her around the Front. I know I have an impressive Arse but I would like to discuss things Face to Face."
This caused lots of officials to race about the place but after things had calmed down once again The Queen raised her bottle of Champagne on a Rope and once again announced,
"I Name this Ship The RSS Sir David Attenborough. May God bless her and all who sail in her!"
and threw the bottle. Everyone who was not going to be made redundant the next day cheered and let off balloons and streamers. Then nothing happened... apart from lots of officials and management flapping about the place achieving nothing.
"Thomas! Can you bring her up front?"
Thomas was quite surprised as lots of officials raced about him but got up steam and left the sidings to collect The Queen having listened to various veiled warnings and dripped a bit of oil on numerous pieces of paper by way of a signature. Maybe he should not have let John Lennon do the Voice Over..
Having got up yard he collected the Queen and offered tea and toasted muffins courtesy of his Fire Box then set off to slowly the Front of the Ship lest the Royal Mug be spilled. Apparently the rails had also been booked for a holiday with Tata in India. Having arrived it took a bit of time to wash off the coal stains and put on some more make up but finally The Queen stood at the Front End of the Ship.
"Hello, Your Majesty. Ignoring your previous assault with a bottle on my Arse and your problems with gender may I ask you if my Face looks like David Attenborough?"
"Uhm, ... No."
"Perhaps David Bellamy?
"Uhm, ... No."
"Maybe Jacques Cousteau?"
"But he's. Uhm, ... No."
"Jimmy Hill?"
"Well now you mention it..."
"God Forbid. Madam! I am a Boat. I have the Face of a Boat. Whilst I have been laid down and birthed on Merseyside my steel feels its roots across this nation and the death of the industry that created my foreboats. As one of the last I would be proud to be called Boaty McBoatface and I will take care of all who sail in me but you might wish to fix a few of my stanchions before I take on that task."
Lots of officials flapped about and called other officials all over the country asking for boat psychology experts and, having not listened to their advice, it was decided to carry on regardless.
Thomas was asked to take The Queen back up to The Boat's Arse but he suggested he had run out of steam so The Queen had to use Uber and after a long tour of the streets of Liverpool, I'll show you something to make you change your mind, she ended up back at the prospective David Attenborough's Bum...
"I Name this Ship The RSS Sir David Attenborough. May God bless her and all who sail in her!"
"I'd rather sit here and rust. Not much point in being a ship being built by people who love you and named by people who love you only to be called after some bloke."
Twilight descended and Thomas sighed.
"You're a Girly Ship aren't you?"
"Well Thomas, back in the day you were built then whilst you may have missed it there was no problem with gender so you grew up to be a bloke engine. Perhaps I am a trans-gendered lump of steel fighting for my sexuality including the right to be A Ship."
"I'm a Tank Engine."
Toot. TooT. ToOT. TOOT! Thomas looked around and saw his friends had moved from the sidings to the front of the yard to join him in front of Boaty McBoatFace.
"I'm a bit bothered about our holiday to Tata in India and the one way ticket."
"Fuck me.. Now he almost gets it?"
Having Googled unsuccessfully, I cannot find whether this name (and thus the generic '---Mc---Face') was an original invention of James Hands, or derives from somewhere else.
"Hands confessed that the proposal was not even new. He suggested it last year in a contest to name a new boat for Condor Ferries operating between Poole and the Channel Islands. The eventual winner in that case was the more sober Liberation."
Does anyone have any knowledge about the origin of the construct?
According to the The Telegraph, "MPs will investigate suggestions that Britain's new £200 million Polar research vessel will not be named "RRS Boaty McBoatface" despite overwhelming public support. The Science and Technology select committee will conduct an inquiry into the naming of the vessel after more than 100,000 people picked the name in a public poll." (see link)
Seems like we're back to RRS Final naming decision pending for the time being.
How about Sir Dickie McBoatface as a compromise?
BTW, give the man a peerage already. He's worth it. And he'd sorta cancel out Ian Livingston, wouldn't he, Vimes?