Tracy Emin dons funeral shroud, marries stone

Re: Her Pappa...

Any idea on the lucky stone's name?

Mick Jagged perhaps?

Re: Government job waiting

Soz, Tiggity - it's clear you're not an artist.

"Show film to Ms. Emin, filming her traumatized response."

Nope - show film to Ms Emin, filming her aroused response.

Ms Emin collects large quantity of stone dust. She places the dust into a clear plastic box with a fan at one end and some holes at the other.

She turns the fan on, and lets it slowly blow the dust away. As mugs modern art lovers queue up to gaze upon the slowly-shrinking pile of dust, Ms Emin announces that her new work is called "Temporarity" and is intended as a comment on the vulnerability of the human condition and the fragility of interpersonal relationships.

Then Ms Emin collects the Turner Prize.

Re: I love it when the amateur art critics come out to play

Mind you... Michelangelo said that the form is in the marble and the hand of the artist merely release it from the rock. Perhaps she's saying that love is in the eye of the beholder. Or boulder.

Re: I love it when the amateur art critics come out to play

"And what exactly qualifies someone to be an art critic?"

Lack of artistic ability?

Re: I love it when the amateur art critics come out to play

I did ask an artist type what makes the difference between modern art and a 5 year olds painting? What makes it art rather than squiggles. Apparently what gives value to the painting/piece is the artist has attached a story to the painting giving it meaning, otherwise it would be a random painting that was just squiggles, (maybe pleasing to the eye squiggles but not say 50 million quids worth of squiggles). The use of Damien Hirst diamond encrusted skull was a good example, he thought it hilarious it had been created and called the for the Love of God after all the Criticism of his cow stuff.

Basically it seems to me a lot of modern art is like a joke where someone has to explain the punchline.

Re: I love it when the amateur art critics come out to play

"Why did she go and marry a French stone? Are our British stones not good enough for her?"

I thought it was normal to get yer rocks off when you go abroad? Maybe she forget to use protection and HAD to get married?

Re: Why did she go and marry a French stone?

Oh, come now; everyone knows that French stones make better lavas.

Re: @X7

"@X7 Was that last line really necessary?"

sorry, was calling her a "bitch" too extreme? I guess I could have said "witch" instead.

Re: @X7

Yes it was.

She has a face like a dropped pie...

A voice that only steroids could produce.

Believes that she is contributing something worthwhile to art, much like the *twatdangle believes he contributes something positive to magic

*David fuckwitt Blaine.

"As one of the most notorious artistic con-artists of her generation,"

Hey, AC of 9 days ago, wealth could console me for a lot of life's, or '

"outrageous fortune's" "slings and arrows."

They say money cannot buy happiness. Ha! It's a lot more comforting than penury.

"I wouldn't say no to her"

I would!

but ladies seem to have such lower standards than us men

"I suspect you're no oil painting, X7."

you're correct, but my friends all believe I have one hidden in the attic

"Hand fasting."

Handfisting sounds much more fun