back to article IoT lacking that je ne sais quoi? Try the IoTSP

You know how it is - you've hooked up a networked drone-sensing doorbell, Java-enabled remote control toaster and Bluetooth toothbrush, and can now determine the degree of browning of your morning slice via smartphone app from the other side of the kitchen, while commanding Smartbrush™ to order extra teeth-whitening paste for …

  1. David Roberts
    WTF?

    IoTSP?

    Chromebook seems to fit the description........

    1. Doctor_Wibble

      Re: IoTSP?

      I was wondering what this new 'input/output teaspoon' abbreviation was about - I understand the input bit in relation to a teaspoon but since the main article pic is clearly of an invention of the Bottom Inspectors I was more than slightly concerned and even more so when I then read it was about sensors because that means probes and even if my initial translation of the abbreviation was wrong, first impressions last and I couldn't shake that uncomfortable-to-sit feeling.

      In spite of that, and in spite of the insistence on that stupid cooker-sounding abbreviation, it sounds like a relatively smart thing to do.

      1. Doctor_Wibble
        Facepalm

        Re: IoTSP?

        Bollocks this PEBKAS-proving slapdash lackadaisical keyboard actuator, "stupid cooker-sounding abbreviation" that's cook*ing* not cook*er*, 'tsp' is used in cook*ing* and does not relate to a cook*er*, the repetition here for my own benefit...

        Or I attempt to excuse myself by pretending that a teaspoon does relate to a cooker e.g. when the fuse has blown and you have run out of paperclips. Or if you have a fancy modern "consumer unit" instead of a fusebox, sellotape and golf tees.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: IoTSP?

      IoTitSuP

  2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    "Internet of Things, Services and People"

    Shouldn't "People" be first?

    1. Mark 85

      It would if people were actually important to the companies shilling this stuff.

    2. tempo
      Pint

      "Internet of People, Services, and Things" ?

      Pronounced "Aye Oh Pissed!"

  3. DropBear
    Trollface

    Isn't the Internet of People called "Facebook"...?

    1. GrumpenKraut

      Not quite. Facebook is the Internet of Terminally Stupid People (IoTSP)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Quick someone tell the government, there sure to throw shitloads of cash at this crap...

  5. Warm Braw

    OCTOPUS

    Well, perhaps it's better able "to interpret weather conditions" than the MICHAELFISH.

  6. drand
    Stop

    Bong!

    Steve is missing his writing credit for this one, no?

  7. SolidSquid

    "Internet of Things, Services and People"

    So... the internet then?

    1. Stoneshop
      Go

      So... the internet then?

      Just what's left after the Internet of Cats.

  8. Stevie

    Bah!

    How is this "paradigm" different from, say, me getting the weather forecast using an app?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    PaaS

    Looking forward to the People-as-a-Service tech start-ups.

    1. Thecowking

      Re: PaaS

      Amazon's Mechanical Turk, no space in the market anymore. People as a service is not even a new idea though, it's as old as hiring a plasterer or farm labourers.

      Suffice it to say, the niche is well and truly filled.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: PaaS

        It's only PaaS if there's an app. It's a new paradigm!

        1. Anonymous Custard
          Joke

          Re: PaaS

          If it is then I think our HR people will be talking to the lawyers, as they've been treating us that way for years and will have a prior art claim...

  10. DCLXV

    At least when vanilla IoT upsets the user they can dash it against the wall without risking some sort of assault charge...

    1. Steven Roper

      No, it's even worse. More likely if you smash an IoT device, it and all its little buddies around your house will phone home advising every corporate and government snoop hooked up to it, that someone at your address is a potential domestic violence candidate and needs to be sent up for mandatory anger-management counselling. Cue a visit from half a dozen cops and a social worker.

      I was considering using the Joke Alert icon but the way technology is going, there's a fair chance that IoT will eventually end up actually doing something like this!

      1. Kurt Meyer

        @Steven Roper

        Sadly, Steven, I believe you are entirely correct.

  11. Ilsa Loving

    Call the AAAAA

    Looks like it's time to call the AAAAA.

    American Association Against Acronym Abuse

  12. jonjenkins
    Happy

    Acronym or Abbreviation?

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