Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

Clearly a hardened criminal maybe a member of a deviant biker gang... ok, I'll stop already, enough of the raised eyebrow...

> near young people.

Note the implicit accusation of paedophilia.

Here's an another possible scenario that might not immediately have occurred to her:

The guy might have seen an attractive woman (or man of course) and is extremely embarassed aboit what ensued. To top it all some strange woman calls the cops to exacerbate the situation.

It's also possible that he was really busting for the loo.

Being in lycra shorts at 50 is probably more offensive. Mind you, he should be old enough to know to tuck the tip in his waistband until it goes away.

Doubtful

I don't think a 50 year old man on a bicycle on a wet winter evening could achieve that condition without pharmaceutical assistance.

That's possible (there is that advert where the old bloke loses his last Viagra tablet and goes off bicycling to get more) but it's a bit of a waste.

Also "young people" would be anyone under 40.

I suspect she misidentified his multi tool or rapid inflater, or possibly a spare pair of socks.

Maybe she was just flattering herself?

If this is an offense that needs to be investigated by the police, there are a lot of teenage boys that will be dealing with the coppers. You would need at least a half dozen officers per high school classroom, and a whole department at every event with cheerleaders.

"Interesting debate"?

Here's what the law says:

* * * * *

Sexual Offences Act 2003:

66 Exposure:

(1) A person commits an offence if—

(a) he intentionally exposes his genitals, and

(b) he intends that someone will see them and be caused alarm or distress.

* * * * *

So unless he was waving it around and shouting "Get a load of this, darling!" no offence was committed.

(PS for pedants: Although it says "he", that's simply for convenience and brevity and it includes women too)

I trust it will be equally illegal for women to have erect nipples? (With no regard for the temperature of course.)

He could have been an undercover policeman...

Although he obviously hadn't hidden his helmet very well.

It's a shame he wasn't picked up by the...

... fuzz.

"Patrols on route to take a look....."

Female Officers??

meanwhile

the real criminals in Manchester consider that the bike they nicked and gave to Grandad and the £10 cycle shorts from Aldi have proven to be a good investment

Assuming

The Lycra was not for posing and he was on his way out of The City, Plod could not find him, then he probably lost the woody due to the numb middle bit of his nuts 10 miles down the road prior to arriving at the intended field of sheep who called Plod on their Bahbiles to complain about not getting a good Rodgering because Farmer Giles had not fitted their back legs with clip-ons and, after he had struggled with them, the bottle holders were not a good substitute for a pair of wellies and he could not get it up anyway.

Christ on a bike...

Overt - done or shown openly; plainly apparent.

Overly Overt. How can you overly show something openly? Using the definition it's already shown openly so unless he was running around shouting look at my massive inner tube I really don't see how that works.

The interesting question is why was she looking in the first place?

Also, what gives her the right to deem what is suitable and what is not for someone else's children? Have people been brainwashed through claims by the government about the internet that everyone is peadofile until proven innocent? It's a good job there were no muslims with back packs or all hell would have broken loose.

You will have to be careful how you carry your mobile phone in your trouser pocket. My M&S chinos came with a little sub-pocket designed to keep it upright against the inside of my leg.

We are becoming a nation of over-sensitised people who see "offence" in every way they can imagine with their febrile minds.

FFS, a lot of decent quality cycling shorts have heavily padded crotches to stop the cyclist suffering from terminal knob bruising and galloping crutch rot......think of it as a padded cross between a cricketers box and a cod piece.

Naturally they tend to show a fair bulge........interestingly some women cyclists wear similar padding as well. What would our Manchester complainant have done if faced with a girl with an apparent oversized clitoral erection? Insist on female genital mutilation to save little girls from horny lesbians?

I hope they (the Police) doubled back

And picked up their informant for a charge of wasting police time...

It's the only way to prevent these alarrmist nutjobs from doing it again. A course of court ordered therapy does wonders...

"hey fella.....

"are you pleased to meet me or is that a pump in your shorts?"

A question commonly heard around Canal Street, Manchester

... but he was NAKED under the Lycra!

Further

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/01/15/mountain_bike_mishap/

it's a question of degree

I actually own a penis, and I can tell you that when I was younger, spontaneous tumescence was occasionally a problem. It didn't need a reason, if it wanted to, it would. Now that I'm nearly 50, thankfully those days are but a limp memory.

Don't the Manchester police force have any penis-owners who can testify that that's how they work: They get big. The go small. They go big again. Totally normal. No need to investigate.

It is blatantly obvious

there are no cyclists amongst you El Reg commentards. These things happen when you ride a sports bike.

Even if they catch him, it'll never stand up in court.

I suppose

that in the right light and from a suitable angle, his bicycle pump could have looked a bit like an erection. Not sure why he would have it stuffed down his pants, though.

Maybe the sight of a 'camel toe' sent a surge to his nether regions & ditto for her when she saw the outline of male organs.

An old joke, two male mice, one said to the other,"There's Harmonica,lets go play with her".The other said,"No, lets play with our 'mouse organs',lol".

In the UK today,men have become effeminate thanks to the PC brigade in the 'Labour Party' when in power & women have lost touch with the biological imperative.

Not surprising really when every other male of the younger generation sounds female & thinks another male's anus is perceived as a vagina.

At least this woman was able to distinguish the sexual difference even if her experience of it was somewhat limited by her observation,or so it seems.

Personally,when I was young, the mere sight of many a young filly was enough to send the blood pumping ferociously through a certain organ giving frequent embarrassment to myself in public.

Nature is nature,that woman is a healthy woman,it's just that her mind is affected by irrational 'morally' repugnant political-religious puritanism,that's unconsciously conditioning her responses.

A matter of distinction

I wonder how she's sure he had an erection versus just being well endowed with a vertical orientation.

I don't know who is more stupid, the lady for reporting it or the police who continued to make an issue of it. Meanwhile murderers, terrorists and other criminals run loose.

Congrats are in order

If I were to cycle in Manchester in December in Lyrca my penis would shrink to negative length.

Reminds me of the time as a 17 yr old I had to cycle home 6 miles from a girlfriend's

standing up