Cisco takes us back to the future

Shopping Heaven!!

No more will I have to strain my neck having to look at those boards above shopping aisles which don't appear to have a name. Now I can pull out my phone, spend 2 minutes connecting to the WiFi, downloading the store layout and typing in the name of the product I wish to purchase!

With the introduction of self-checkouts and online shopping and now a hand held shopping assistant, those people we used to know as customer service staff will be heading for extinction.

Now where did I put the milk?

Asking a Virtual Assitant their favourite colour

To answer such a question would require AI or some sort of self awareness (shudder)

Its not Skynet we have to fear its that Cisco Nexus router I tell you, we're all doomed!

Human shape detection

Who ever raised the box on their head raised a good point. Would it detect both lighter and darker skinned individuals? How about those on crutches or in wheelchairs? If not, I can see certain issues with relying on it for security.

Also, wouldn't it be far more useful to have an ACTUAL line to not cross, allowing easier detection of the line AND allowing the person to know they've crossed what is potentially a turret-triggering line-o'-death? Or just use a double-beam laser beam-break detector?

Finally, a speech recognition system that hears "WHAT IS A", looks up a wikipedia entry of the subject and then reads out the text is maybe a weeks work using VB and the MS SAPI. And I can't imagine it'd take too long for a programmer skilled in DirectX or OpenGL to create a "talking face" application to recognise the phoneme being pronounced and animate the face accordingly.

Still, it's Cisco so they probably did these projects properly rather than hacking them together as I'd do!

@TeeCee re. No Proctoscope

All readily available tech............

http://www.medisave.co.uk/kelly-proctoscope-20x50mm-p-3824.html

http://www.midmeds.co.uk/prospec-disposable-proctoscope-small-p-2752.html

http://www.pelicanhealthcare.co.uk/pdfs/Proctoscope-TechData%20A52.pdf

Need to be somehow paired with:

http://www.rfconcepts.co.uk/bullet_camera_systems.htm

http://www.global-b2b-network.com/b2b/70/1229/134372/sell_bullet_camera.html

http://www.cameras4sports.co.uk/

Ah, the wonders of the internet, it's all out there if you really want it :)

My comment

"XML-based notification system"

What? No AJAX - no feckin' use then surely!

Dr Duncan's Video Symptom Show

"Dr Duncan, I've got terrible anal pustules, they're giving me absolute agony"

"Jolly good, well just pop the old buttocks up against the screen...."

Much preferred Bigtime TV - 'making tomorrow seem like yesterday'.