back to article Elderly? Disabled? You clearly need a .38" Palm Pistol

In good news for US "seniors, disabled or others with grip limitations due to hand strength, manual dexterity or phalangeal amputions" wishing to pop the odd cap, the Palm Pistol .38 Special is finally available for their shooting pleasure. Two views of the Palm Pistol. Pics: Palm Pistol It's apparently taken nine years for …

  1. Khaptain Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    Optional extras

    It also has an optional "Picatinny rail".. all that's missing is the ACOG TA01 4*32 and the world will learn to fear these senior "OAPerators"...

    1. Ron Christian

      Re: Optional extras

      At least for one shot.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Optional extras

      What on earth is this needed for - perhaps this has a potential use over at Dignitas? You would have to be one of the most retarded countries on the planet to deliberately let the old and infirm loose with guns! Well citizens in general really...

      If any country is ever stupid enough to allow such free access to guns there will be daily mass shootings, and children regularly killing each other, mark my words!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nothing new

    They had single shot guns like this a hundred years ago.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nothing new

      For people with phalangeal amputions?

      1. Dan Paul

        Re: Nothing new @Drewc

        He's right. The idea of a "Palm Pistol" has been around for a very long time. 1882 perhaps

        See Wiki link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protector_Palm_Pistol

        http://www.aaawt.com/html/firearms/f154.html

        The antique gun is multi shot too.

        The new one has some special ergonomic grip, has a thumb trigger and safeties but is single shot.

        The old one was smaller, semi-automatic (It reloads the next shot) and held 7 shots.

    2. Dalroi

      Re: Nothing new

      See here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LubJWq_Zoz0

    3. ZSn

      Re: Nothing new

      Actually they were usually in .32. However they were chambered to hold 7 shots. To be honest they might be more useful than this thing. Imagine it when you miss, 'excuse me while I find my glasses to reload it, you just stand there young man until I am ready to shoot you again'. Tattooed muggers will be quaking in their shoes...

    4. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Nothing new

      Wasn't it named after the guitarist Rick Derringer? And used by Jim West on the Wild, Wild West? I dunno know anymore ;-}

      Wasn't something like this gun pawned on Pawn Stars? Or attempted

      I know there was something called a zip gun in the states during the 70's, made in shop class, and fired one shot. George Carlin had a bit about them... or mentioned zip guns in a bit he did

      1. Alan Edwards

        Re: Nothing new

        > Wasn't it named after the guitarist Rick Derringer

        Nope, pre-dates him by about a hundred years.

        It was actually a mis-spelling of 'deringer', as in Henry Deringer. According to the Wiki page, John Wilkes Booth used a Philadelphia Deringer to assassinate Lincoln - never knew that.

  3. msknight

    I suppose you could say that it has a health application ... to prevent death by external forces.

    1. Anonymous Custard

      I'm sure the Swiss could also probably be persuaded to cover it on health grounds, at the kind of clinic where you would only need the single bullet.

    2. HausWolf

      I was thinking more of it as a lead injection device.

      But if Ole Grandpa has Parkinson's it would make for some fun times in the nursing home.

    3. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      It has another health application - breaking wrists

      I have some serious doubts about the effect of this on the wrist of a person who is having trouble holding a normal gun. It does not take a lot to break a bone damaged by osteoporosis.

      On top of that, if a person is having trouble to hold a normal gun firmly, the "grip advantage" they get with this one is not that much. 9mm+ in a handgun is a hell of a kickback, they are bound to let it lose and it to hit them, again, breaking something. If a person like that is to be trusted with a gun at all (queue jokes about dementia and a firefight in the nursing home), a "glove" modification of a standard handle is likely to be significantly more effective.

  4. Christoph

    Just the thing for someone with senile dementia

    1. Elmer Phud

      'Hello Grandad'

      "Who are you?"

      Bang!

    2. phuzz Silver badge

      I'm assuming senile dementia doesn't get in the way of a yank's god-given right to arm bears?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Eh, I bought a gun myself to cure my Alzheimer's if I come down with it... I'm pushing 55.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Eh, I bought a gun myself to cure my Alzheimer's if I come down with it.

          Can you remember where you put it?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            More importantly, will he remember what its for when it is time to give himself lead poisoning...

  5. Anonymous Custard
    Headmaster

    Word of the day

    Well if nothing else, at least the article has expanded by vocabulary by a word ("phalangeal" of course), even if it does once again make me despair for my species...

    1. Darryl

      Re: Word of the day

      I already knew that word 'cause I watch Bones. They're always talking about phalanges.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Word of the day

      even if it does once again make me despair for my species...

      Au contraire, I find stuff like this encouraging. I greatly admire any attempt by anyone to innovate just enough to remove themselves from the gene pool in a hopefully entertaining fashion. The only troubling bit is that they sometimes manage to take others out with them, but I agree with a poster in my office which reads:

      "I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out".

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Surely, they could have come up with a design incorporating a magazine? Without knowing you have the ability to massacre a classroom full of school children, this weapon has limited appeal in the US.

    1. Simon Harris
      Coat

      "Surely, they could have come up with a design incorporating a magazine?"

      For the target audience, might I suggest Saga Magazine?

    2. Whiskers

      Not quite a new idea - this is from the 1890s <https://nfa.ca/resource-items/minneapolis-protector-palm-pistol>.

      I suspect a stout walking stick would be more useful.

      1. Blank Reg

        "I suspect a stout walking stick would be more useful."

        Well that problem was solved long ago

        http://www.micksguns.com/cane%20guns.htm

        A senior would be much better off with a shotgun cane as it will be more forgiving of poor aim.

    3. nichomach

      http://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/fistolove_1_thumb-tfb.jpg

      http://media.liveauctiongroup.net/i/17982/17332539_2.jpg

  7. sandman

    Oops

    Um, sorry, I had a senior moment and thought my spouse/nurse/carer/child I've always disliked/assistance dog (delete where applicable) was an intruder.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oops

      Ah, brave move trying the the 'Pistorius Defence'.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: brave move trying the the 'Pistorius Defence'.

        Not that brave, or at least it's worked ok for Oscar.....

      2. Mutton Jeff

        Re: Oops

        I'm sure they'd have let him out earlier, must've customised an ankle bracelet.

    2. hplasm
      Facepalm

      Re: Oops

      They could call it the 'Pistorius'.

      edit- AC in before me!

  8. Roger Kynaston

    Can't they

    combine it with a tablet and then do a tie in with palm pilots?

    As others note, this tends to make you despair for the species.

  9. sisk

    A single shot .38? Please for the love of sanity don't try to use this thing for self defense. There's a good chance you're just going to piss off the guy trying to mug you with it. Seriously, look up how often people report to the ER with .38 gunshot wounds and it turns out that they need nothing more than a couple stitches because the bullet bounced off a rib or skull. .38 is not a self defense caliber. 9mm is the absolute smallest caliber you should consider for self defense, and even that's pushing your luck if you have to use it. .38 is just way too small.

    1. John Arthur
      Stop

      Metrication

      Could you please enlarge on this comment as my calculator says that 0.38 inches is 9.652 mm? Are you saying that the cartridge has less propellant or that the round is lighter. Otherwise I think a .38 should be at least as good as a 9 mm for the intended puropse.

      1. bpfh

        Re: Metrication

        Just because it's called .38 does not mean it was actually 0.38000 of an inch ! Numbers can and have been fudged for different reasons or because similar sized or characteristics bullets existed and the new caliber needed to be differenciated, for example, 5.5mm, 5.6mm, 5.56mm, .22, .222, .223 are all the same diameter and their bullets could fit all their respective barrels, but the bullet, pellet or cartridge shape are not the same, and the power of the different cartridges are totally and radically different!

        From wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.38_S%26W

        Bullet diameter .361 in (9.2 mm)

        Neck diameter .3855 in (9.79 mm)

        Base diameter .3865 in (9.82 mm)

        Rim diameter .440 in (11.2 mm)

        Rim thickness .055 in (1.4 mm)

        Case length .775 in (19.7 mm)

        Overall length 1.240 in (31.5 mm)

        1. Commswonk

          Re: Metrication

          A 38 Special bullet has a diameter of .357", the same as, er, the 357 Magnum but with a lot less "bang" behind it. Quite enough to stop someone provided that you hit them somewhere vital, which might be tricky with a barrel that short combined with the "palm grip". Actually aiming it would not be that easy - to stand a reasonable chance of delivering an effective shot the muzzle (if it can be said to have one) would need to be almost touching the target.

          The expanding round shown in the picture would be useful in making a "through and through" a bit less likely, which would at least contain the resulting mess somewhat. Just make sure that you hit the right person...

          1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

            Re: Metrication

            Actually aiming it would not be that easy - to stand a reasonable chance of delivering an effective shot the muzzle (if it can be said to have one) would need to be almost touching the target.

            This is a point blank range weapon. It is useless at more than 5-10 m by design. At that range you might as well use a taser or something else which is guaranteed to incapacitate wherever it hits.

            1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

              Re: Metrication

              "It is useless at more than 5-10 m by design."

              Feet, more like ... and in the event probably worse than useless ... but have an upvote anyway.

      2. sisk

        Re: Metrication

        .38 has a much lower muzzle velocity than a 9mm, around 800fps vs around 1200fps. And, as good ole' E=MC2 tells us, the velocity is more important than the mass for such things. That's also why the less-massive-yet 7.62mm round, at 2300ish fps, is so much more deadly.

        1. Mike Moyle

          Re: Metrication

          "And, as good ole' E=MC2 tells us, the velocity is more important than the mass for such things."

          Are you sure you don't mean F=MA?

        2. frank ly

          @sisk Re: Metrication

          Thats 1/2 mv^2, unless it's an antimatter bullet.

        3. phuzz Silver badge

          Re: Metrication

          I think you mean E=1/2mv^2 ie the energy of a bullet (or other moving object) increases linearly as you increase the mass, but it increases according to the square of the velocity.

          E=mc^2 is for things like hydrogen bombs, and contrary to what you may have heard, those things are not ideal for home defence.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Metrication

            E=mc^2 is for things like hydrogen bombs, and contrary to what you may have heard, those things are not ideal for home defence.

            Maybe so but its my God given right to own one.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Metrication

            "and contrary to what you may have heard, those things are not ideal for home defence."

            On the contrary, since I acquired a supply of solid fuel rockets and a number of hydrogen warheads, I have not been bothered by burglars. At least, not ones I have seen coming from a distance greater than the blast radius.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Metrication

          "That's also why the less-massive-yet 7.62mm round, at 2300ish fps, is so much more deadly."

          A friend used to do .303 rifle competition shooting at his Territorial Army's annual camp. The conventional bullseye target was hidden behind a sheet of steel on a narrow stand. That had to be knocked over by judicious aiming before they could start the scoring shots.

          The year they changed to 7.62 rifles things did not go to plan. No one could knock the steel plates over. It was found that the bullets were just going through the steel.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Metrication

            Are you sure it wasn't that the .303 rounds you had been using had actually been manufactured in 1946?

        5. This post has been deleted by its author

        6. Allan George Dyer
          Mushroom

          Re: Metrication

          @sisk - Are you sure you mean E=MC2? I'd hope that E=0.5Mv2 would be more relevant (although I do recall an article about the use of hand-held nuclear weapons in RPGs).

          Icon - what else?

          [edit - seems everyone got in before me]

        7. Omgwtfbbqtime
          Headmaster

          Re: Metrication

          7.62x51 Nato "less massive" than 9x19P?

          Clue: 51mm long....

          9mm weighs in around 120 grains, 7.62 Nato around 240 grains.

          Back to school please.

      3. Quip

        Re: Metrication

        perhaps it was meant to be 3/8" [25.4mm ÷ 8 × 3]

      4. Matt Bryant Silver badge

        Re: John Arthur Re: Metrication

        ".....my calculator says that 0.38 inches is 9.652 mm?...." True, but the whole nomenclature is an historic one and has little to do with the actual diameter of the bullet in the cartridge and more to do with marketing. The original "Thirty-Eight" from the Wild West was the Colt 1851 Navy Revolver, which had a barrel of 0.36in calibre but fired a 0.38in soft, lead ball (it was a blackpowder cap'n'ball design, not the later metallic cartridge type) which was squeezed down in the barrel. When customers went to buy loads they asked for "Thirty-Eights". As reloading a revolver with the later metallic cartridges was much faster than with traditional cap'n'ball paper packets and separate percussion caps, many Navy Revolvers were converted to fire the early .38 Short Colt cartridge. The actual diameter of the .38 Short Colt bullet was 0.379in but Colt decided to use .38 so customers would still refer to it as a "Thirty-Eight". The .38 Short Colt was the cartridge that was developed to provide the more powerful .38 Long Colt and eventually the .38 Smith & Wesson Special that is the round used in the palm gun from the article.

        The .38 S&W Special actually has a diameter of 0.357in (about 9.1mm) and is the most popular revolver cartridge in the World and very comparable to 9mm Parabellum (AKA 9mm Luger in Yankland). The greater popularity of 9mm Parabellum is mainly due to the fact it is used in magazine-loaded automatics which can hold more rounds than the traditional six-shot revolver (or the old Colt 1911 automatic and its larger .45 ACP cartridges), leading to the adoption of what the Yanks called the "Wonder Nines" (such as the S&W Model 59 and Beretta Model 92).

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. Yugguy

      The Palm Pistol .38 special.

      When you absolutely, positively got to slightly annoy every mother fucker in the room?

      1. Trigonoceps occipitalis

        Re: The Palm Pistol .38 special.

        When you absolutely, positively got to slightly annoy one mother fucker in the room?

        FTFY

    4. Pierre Castille
      Headmaster

      Inches not millimetres

      A 0.38 calibre bullet from US weapon will do serious damage - it's bigger (only just) than 9mm and from such a small weapon will create an enormous 'kick-back'

    5. bpfh
      Headmaster

      .38 Smith & Wesson is actually a tad bigger than a 9mm (parabellum|luger|9x19) (they are different names for the same round), but the .38 S&W shoots a slighty heavier bullet a bit slower. You would be better off with a 9mm, but a .38 is not to be sniffed at.

      Maybe you are confusing .38 S&W with .380, which is a smaller, weaker cousin of the above mentionned 9mm...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        For a .338 lapua magnum, you would need a longer boomstick.

        1. bpfh
          Joke

          I think you would have the end of the bullet sticking out of the barrel

          but the noise it would make would be heard in the next state :D

      2. sisk

        Maybe you are confusing .38 S&W with .380, which is a smaller, weaker cousin of the above mentionned 9mm...

        Nope, I mean the .38 S&W. Anyone who's been around guns at all knows the .380 is useless for anything except paper targets and bowling pins, but some people actually think the .38 is a good choice for self defense. Probably because it was the police weapon of choice once upon a time.

        And for the source of my info, my dad is both a gun collector and a paramedic. After 30 years of patching up gunshot victims he'll flat out laugh at you if you tell him you're using a .38 for self defense. I know because I've had that conversation with him.

        Yes, the .38 can kill, but it has lacks that oh-so-important attribute for self defense: stopping power. You will not drop an assailant with a .38. They might die a few minutes after being shot, but that does you no good if they've killed you while they were bleeding out.

        1. Mark 85

          I'm not sure why the downvotes, but you are spot on. There was/is a reason that the .38 was replaced by the .45 for the military in the States. Going to the 9mm was political (much as the 5.56 rifle was politics). For my money, it's the .45 pistol and 7.62 rifle if I had to make that choice.

          Disclaimer: I'm in the States and do not own a firearm.

        2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
          Stop

          Re: sisk

          "....I mean the .38 S&W...." OK, big difference between .38 S&W, .38 S&W Special and .380 ACP. The first is a very old revolver cartridge used in US service revolvers, the Special is a different cartridge entirely with a lot more power, and the .380 is a rimless cartridge for blowback automatics (AKA 9mm Short). And before you cast aspersions on any of them, the .38 S&W killed plenty of people, as has .380 (which was also used as a service cartridge in WW2 Europe and as a police load for many years after). You would have to be a complete idiot to claim any of them are no use for home defence as the cartridge that kills the most people every year in the States is the tiny .22LR, which is a lot "less deadly" than even .380.

          "...stopping-power...." Wrong in so many ways. Placement of a shot is a massively more important than stopping-power, and penetration is almost as important as placement. Stopping-power is just the myth repeated by the .45 ACP and .40 S&W brigades in their endless denials of science. There are plenty of cases of people surviving multiple hits from even the nastiest of .45 hollowpoints (one case I recall a criminal was hit in the torso with four .45 Black Talons and still managed to run over a mile before being arrested).

          "....paramedic...." Well, there's a big reason he saw only the survivors - the dead go to the morgue, not the hospital. For all your old man knew there could have been a guy killed by .38s for every one he patched up. The .38 Special got a bad name after the FBI's badly planned interception of two bank robbers in 1986 (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fbi_miami_shootout) when the FBI made the .38 Special the scapegoat, leading to the awful 10mm Auto cartridge and eventually the .40 S&W. Ironically, the shots that finally ended that shootout were .38 Special +Ps fired from a revolver, but everyone ignored that in the rush to a "better" cartridge.

          Double-action revolvers have a big advantage over automatics when you have a misfire - in an auto you have to stop and clear the misfire, but in a revolver you just squeeze the trigger again and it rotates the cylinder to the next chamber and you carry on shooting. And .38 S&W Special is a very good load in a revolver, not too heavy a recoil, so it is a good option for women as well as men in the typically short-range encounters of home defence. But I consider this palm gun an awful idea - if you can't handle a regular firearm then you probably won't be able to effectively use it either.

    6. Kevin Johnston

      No no no....

      Why choose .45? because there is no .46...

    7. bjr

      Lincoln was killed with a derringer

      John Wilkes Booth used a derringer to kill Lincoln so anyone who says this can't kill is simply wrong. This thing is basically a derringer with modern ammunition.

      1. Chris G

        Re: Lincoln was killed with a derringer

        The weapon used was a .44 cap and ball pistol, the ball would have been about 140 grains=roughly to 9 gms or a third of an ounce for merkins and oldys like me.

        http://www.nationalparks.org/connect/blog/artifact-gun-shot-lincoln

        With a reasonable load of black powder behind it, it would have packed a fair punch. In Lincoln's case with a short range head shot it was definitely effective. This over priced piece of junk in the article is probably less effective than multiple whacks from a decent stick. A reasonable crack to the side of the knee will drop most people leaving them open to more whacks without the need to reload.

        In the spirit of openess I must confess that one of my hobbys is making rustic walking sticks and I have in the past used one to great effect on a knee belonging to a chap carrying a foot long piece of scaffold tube. The one whack was enough for him!

    8. Lynrd

      It's not the size, it's how you use it.

      Oh, BS. You can use a .22 for self defense....and it is a smarter weapon. True - it makes tiny holes and probably won't kill anyone (is that a bad thing?). But the report for a .38, 9mm, or whatever is going to leave you deaf at the moment you first pull the trigger - and if you missed the first shot in a darkened room - you are both blind and now deaf other than that ringing in your ears.

      If I open up with a .22, I can still hear (a little) and I am pretty sure that whoever I am unloading on is at least going to have to step back and regroup a bit, and probably consider alternatives to hanging around while I plink at their knees and elbows. Minimal recoil means I am very accurate, one handed if need be.

      You should not be looking for deadly force in a self defense weapon. You look to defend yourself.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It's not the size, it's how you use it.

        You should not be looking for deadly force in a self defense weapon. You look to defend yourself.

        If you don't plan to kill the person you're shooting at, you're better off running away.

        1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
          Go

          Re: AC Re: It's not the size, it's how you use it.

          "....you're better off running away." Excellent advice, sir. These are some very un-gungho rules I was taught (by a Yank!) many years ago which still hold true today:

          Range rule number one - NEVER point a firearm at anyone or anything you don't intend to kill, even if you think it is empty.

          Self-defence rule number one - BE PREPARED, any shot is potentially lethal, even to an extremity, so if you're not prepared to kill your attacker then don't pull the trigger, and if you're not prepared to pull the trigger then a firearm is the wrong defence strategy and is likely to get YOU killed.

          Self-defence rule number two - GO LOW RISK, choose the strategy that presents the lowest risk to you, including avoiding the chance of being killed by hiding or retreating, as wisely safe beats bravely dead every time.

    9. LucreLout

      @Sisk

      A single shot .38? Please for the love of sanity don't try to use this thing for self defense. There's a good chance you're just going to piss off the guy trying to mug you with it.

      Well, that depends more on where you shoot them than what you shot the with. Allow me to explain.

      Many moons ago I was on a friends stag do which involved a bit of paintballing. Our point man wasn’t making sufficient progress towards the enemy fort, so someone from his own side shot him square in the arse, from a distance of about 20 feet. Point man jumps up like a scalded cat, drops his gun, and grabs his ass with both hands, thereby revealing his position to the enemy, who proceed to paint him red.

      Anyway, having lost the element of surprise, and one of my paint balls, I decide on a death of glory charge through the front gate. Death would, with hindsight, have been preferable. As I ran the 40 feet between our cover and the fort, over open ground, I began to debate my assumption that my mates couldn’t hit the side of a barn. Just as I close on the main gate, I notice one of their group who was previously well hidden, and begin raising my gun.

      Turns out that I either have balls bigger than an average barn, or I miscalculated my mates abilities with the toy gun. One shot later, I’m sliding to a halt, face down in the dirt, clutching my knackers and wishing so hard that the world would end. Seeing my obvious pain and total incapacitation, my friends decide to offer assistance, by delivering a stunning and seemingly unending barrage of paint. How we laughed.

      Anyway, the point is that two shots with a paintball gun, at distance, incapacitated two blokes who would normally (and perhaps unreasonably) have expected to fare better than average in a confrontation. I don’t know about you, but I really wouldn’t fancy a hit in the happy sacks with one of these OAP guns. I’m not justifying their creation or their use, only suggesting that given the gun is likely to be coming up, and the mugger is likely to be within a couple of feet, the primary target area may well be … lightly armored enough that calibre won’t matter?

    10. Scroticus Canis

      @sisk - It's a .38 Special not just a .38

      .38 Spl work as well as 9mm Parabellum if you hit the target. The rounds depicted are Glazer .38 Spl +P which make a rat-hole sized wound internally (±140 cc); OK it is slightly smaller than the permanent cavity wound from a 9mm +P Glazer but it's still 5 times the wound cavity of a .45 ACP FMJ. Over penetration is just a waste of kinetic energy and a risk to non-involved others.

      This particular gun though is crap IMHO; a .22 LR Walther TPH or even revolver would be better if you have enough fingers to use it.

      1. Matt Bryant Silver badge

        Re: Scroticus Canis Re: @sisk - It's a .38 Special not just a .38

        ".38 Spl work as well as 9mm Parabellum if you hit the target.....which make a rat-hole sized wound internally...." Again, back to the discussion on "effectiveness". Wound cavity size means nothing if your opponent is still capable of firing back at you. Sure, he may bleed to death afterwards, but that will be small consolation if he has shot you full of holes in the meantime. The only immediately incapacitating wounds are to the brain stem and spinal column, everything else (including direct hits to the heart) can still give the victim time to return fire before they bleed out. Even well-trained shooters will miss a moving target at short-range more often than they will hit (IIRC, the NYPD figures are less than 50% hits for shootings at a range of less than 5 feet!), which - IMHO - makes this palm gun a pretty moot idea regardless of calibre. My advice would be to stop worrying about the size of the hole you can make and worry more about finding a gun and cartridge combo with which you can regularly and confidently place your shots on a moving target. Or just by a 12-gauge and some 00 busckshot - fifteen times as many chances of hitting the spine with each shot to the centre of mass!

  10. Barry Rueger

    Green Avenger

    An obvious rip-off of the design of one of my all time favourite toys back in the day - the Green Avenger water pistol.

    https://img1.etsystatic.com/006/0/7099949/il_fullxfull.367502843_9vda.jpg

  11. zb
    Trollface

    One for the doctors

    I can see why they are trying to get this treated as a medical device: the doctors will be very keen to drum up a bit of extra business dealing with gunshot wounds.

  12. ACcc

    it is not intended for use in the diagnosis of disease or other conditions, or in the cure, mitigation, treatment or prevention of disease in man

    The exact opposite I would have thought?

    1. bpfh
      Joke

      I agree with the FDA analysis

      Giving someone Saturnism, aka Lead Poisoning, is frowned upon by the medical community

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I agree with the FDA analysis

        "Giving someone Saturnism, aka Lead Poisoning, is frowned upon by the medical community"

        But at one time the oil industry was trying to represent it as some kind of God-given right.

  13. Richard Scratcher

    Ageing "Gangsta" rappers

    Does it come in gold and can it be fired sideways?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Stay away copper I'm packing heat!"

    Approved by Mister Plinkett the Movie Reviewer.

  15. szielins
    Facepalm

    "Medical device"?

    There's a reason the manufacturer would have wanted this widget classified as a "medical device." The USA does have socialized medical insurance for the elderly-- "Medicare"-- and classifying this thing as a medical device would have opened the gates for Medicare footing the bill for them.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fire away Grandpa

    $1350 EACH

    Why I am told that Icould get several AK-47's for that!

    Even a couple of Glock 42's for two-gun granny

    Anonymous - for obvious reasons

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: for obvious reasons

      Too clueless to understand this is for those with limited grip? Granny can't even pick up an ak-47.....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: for obvious reasons

        Never heard of Ernestine Shepherd of Willie Murphy.

        Never mess with a granny

    2. Mark 85

      Re: Fire away Grandpa

      I thought that price was bit excessive myself. One could pickup a Taurus Judge (chambered to take .410 shotgun and .45 pistol) for a whole lot less money and have a better close in self-defense weapon. That damn thing looks to be more dangerous to the shooter than the target.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The design is all wrong - it should be one of those crotch guns like in From Dusk Till Dawn. If you're that old/disabled, you're probably going to miss with one bullet; so plenty of bullets is a must. It's the centre of the body, so will provide a stable launching platform for your fusillade of lead, as opposed to extremities which could well be twitchy, disabled or just plain missing. Finally -and possibly most important as a factor in daily use- you will be able to reach under your tartan blanket at any time and claim "weapon maintenance" with a straight face and in perfect truthfulness.

  18. Nolveys
    Mushroom

    Second Time's A Charm?

    I hope these work better than the medical hand grenades did.

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Second Time's A Charm?

      I thought they were Holy Hand Grenades? Those should be booked under clerical supplies, shouldn't they

  19. Mike Moyle

    The thing that actually has me the most worried...

    Does the muzzle look to anyone else like the business end of an asthma inhaler? Gramps suddenly can't breathe when out on his morning constitutional and gets a little panicky and confused...

    1. Doctor_Wibble

      Re: The thing that actually has me the most worried...

      And in particular, it doesn't look like a gun, and surely it is the immediate recognisableness* of a gun-like thing that gets people to stop what they are doing when you say "stop I have a gun". If you have to explain that it's not some star trek knockoff prop then in the words of our most revered agent: "No, Lieutenant - your men are already dead."

      * sorry

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The thing that actually has me the most worried...

      Does the muzzle look to anyone else like the business end of an asthma inhaler?

      Well, it *does* cure asthma, as well as any other old age illness. You're guaranteed not to have any asthma after using that inhaler, so I can see where the medical device idea comes from..

    3. Simon Harris

      Re: The thing that actually has me the most worried...

      It looked to me like one of those air puffer widgets used to blow dust off camera lenses.

  20. TheRealRoland

    It does look a bit like an asthma medicine inhaler...

  21. Michael Habel

    The solution to Life the, Universe, and Everything.

    Just take One Bullit (administerd orally), in the Morning, and all of your problems will go away! And you'll never need to rack your mind with such silly questions like. WTF am I doing here? And, why the bloody hell did I just blow my last paycheque on that Digital (Smart), Watch for?

    Sometimes I have to wonder if entire population of this World really did originate with a bunch of Middle Management, Hair Dreesing, Bathing, Telephone Sanitizers.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At a disadvantage

    Society is still at a disadvantage to crims with AK-47's.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: At a disadvantage

      "Society is still at a disadvantage to crims with AK-47's."

      Any long barrelled gun is a disadvantage close-up. Machine pistols with needle bullets, lots of them, are presumably the most effective at short range. Something like an Uzi is much more compact than an M16.

      IIRC WW2 commandos used the 9mm Sten machine gun rather than a bolt-loading .303 rifle. The Russians favoured the .45 Thompson sub-machine gun in house to house fighting.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: At a disadvantage

        "The Russians favoured the .45 Thompson sub-machine gun in house to house fighting."

        I thought that this was because the US was dumping the old pray and sprays on them, not because they preferred them. Given the expected lifetime of a Soviet soldier at Stalingrad or Berlin, there wasn't a lot of point giving them very high quality weapons.

  23. johnnymotel

    robdunford2@me.com

    When I read this article and the FDA bit, I immediately thought this is a one shot suicide gun, hence the medical angle.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: robdunford2@me.com

      Going into any situation where this would be necessary with only one bullet would be suicide.

      1. skeptical i

        Re: robdunford2@me.com

        If Gramma is already holding it when she gets mugged, it could have a brass knuckles function if she punches toward the perp's midsection and pulls the trigger -- a "+5 punch enhancer" of sorts for close contact scenarios. Otherwise, maybe not so helpful.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Laugh it up ferriners

    If you had to live surrounded by Americans, you would be packing too.

  25. Lamb0
    Alert

    Use the proper ammo...

    and even the .380 becomes a viable defense option - for those of us who choose to accept the responsibility; and are still allowed to defend ourselves with a firearm.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LczfeWK9lHw#t=17 Ammo Quest .380 ACP: Lehigh XP Xtreme Penetrator test in ballistic gel

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PDQcE-1T40 Military Arms Channel Lehigh & Underwood .380 Xtreme Perpetrator

    $1,350 is too rich for my blood, and IMHO one round is not enough! I'll keep my Smith & Wesson Bodyguard. ;<)

    Given time, avoidance and 911(or equivalent) are still the best options. However, much of the time some means of defense is required to buy the time. All too often less than lethal options are insufficient. YMWV

  26. theOtherJT Silver badge

    How on earth do you AIM it?

    Or wasn't that considered terribly important?

    With no sights and a barrel length of what, an inch? I see that hitting something sort of "over there... ish" When you add in the fact that the people it's marketed to are likely not to have the steadiest of hands I foresee the words "Innocent bystander" turning up a lot in news reports related to this thing should they actually sell any...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: How on earth do you AIM it?

      Aim is the least of this product's fundamental design problems.

      > Not 3D printed

      > No GPS

      > Doesn't have a webcam or even a regular camera alongside the barrel

      > No internet connection to upload shot pics (see above bullet point) to ishotwhatnow.com

      > No IFF or auto-aim

      > Less ammo capacity than a Nomad. Lame.

      Going to stick with my steampunk Apache revolver until someone kickstarts a decent IOT personal firearm.

    2. Diodelogic

      Re: How on earth do you AIM it?

      It's not meant to be aimed. When someone is attacking you, they have to get close enough to hit you. At that range, "aiming" is not really needed. For heaven's sake, it's not being sold as a target pistol.

    3. d3vy

      Re: How on earth do you AIM it?

      "How on earth do you aim it?"

      Read the last paragraph..

  27. Esteban

    Old news

    This all happened in 2008, just Google it. Where do you guys get your "breaking" news?

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Old news

      So the Palm Pistol went on sale in 2008? No it didn't, just Google it.

  28. Anonymous C0ward
    Facepalm

    'Murica.

  29. d3vy

    Whats the saying?

    'Murrica!

  30. skeptical i

    And when the grandkids find them?

    Most kids in Amurka know the shape of a gun, and most (I hope) are taught to stay away and notify an adult when they find one (and/or proper handling when they are old enough). Aside from "innocent bystander", I think we'll see "child" and "accident" when this goes to market.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      Re: And when the grandkids find them?

      Nope:

      http://fox2now.com/2015/10/19/chicago-boy-finds-gun-accidentally-kills-3-year-old-brother-police-charge-father/

      No doubt the NRA will say the 3 year old should of had one to defend himself, so it's his fault.

  31. tojb

    suicide special

    Am I the only one thinking that the main use for this is when you only want to kill one person, and he ain't gonna try getting out of the way?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: suicide special

      As I understand it, killing yourself quickly with a handgun is not that easy. At least one German senior officer tried it unsuccessfully in WW2. The thing is, you only get to practice once.

      There are many much easier, more reliable and less unpleasant ways to kill yourself. I've researched them in case I develop Alzheimers - I will know if it happens.

      Oh, and a thousand curses on the bishops and the politicians who have ensured that anybody with any sense will have to kill themselves before they become incapable. May the wrathful shade of Sir Terry Pratchett make your lives a misery.

  32. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
    Alert

    "hit the streets"..... Aiming the thing is still a bit of a problem then?

    But if you're elderly and / or disabled, won't your arm come off from the recoil? Just wondering. This may be an equal opportunity weapon.

  33. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Joke

    Vimes is going to go spare!!

    This reminds me of the pistol crossbow from The Fifth Elephant: the one shot nobody expects. Given the short barrel you would almost need to press it against somebody to be sure of hitting him. At zero mm range, almost any ammo can cause severe damage. As such you might go along with Vimes' conclusion that it is a weapon designed to kill, not to deter, as a more fire-arm shaped object might. No doubt, if he found it, he would insert it where the sun doesn't shine.

    No doubt various secret services who might find such an object useful have more Q-esque versions readily available

    1. Vinyl-Junkie
      Coat

      Re: Vimes is going to go spare!!

      I believe the more appropriate quote is "Vimes is going to go totally Librarian-poo!"...

  34. Vinyl-Junkie
    Joke

    I still don't understand...

    ..why the article has a picture of the NRA Executive Committee at the top.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stallone has the medical angle covered

    Could have got it past the FDA with this ?

    "Crime is the disease. Meet the Cure."

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090859/taglines?ref_=tt_stry_tg

    (and I believe Deadpool's ready to back them up on this too...)

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