back to article MACAQUE ATTACK: Monkey plunders Florida resident's box, gobbles contents

"Shortly after 8am," reported Florida's Sanford Police Department (SPD), "we received a call from a Sanford resident who lives in the Hidden Lakes subdivision, reporting that a monkey was eating mail out of a mailbox." The mail-munching macaque caused the neighbourhood to go bananas when someone happened to see her "and …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They did not shoot him?

    I cannot believe it. Attacking a patrol car and remaining alive. In USA?

    1. Mark 85

      Re: They did not shoot him?

      Well, it wasn't like it was certain cow wandering near a road or anything. Although given the nature of some police departments in America, the SWAT Team was probably having an important meeting at Dunkin' Donuts and had their radios turned off.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: They did not shoot him?

      > "Attacking a patrol car and remaining alive. In USA?"

      You're seriously behind the times. These days protesters regularly attack empty patrol cars with impunity. The ones with cops in them do tend to be more obstreperous tho...

    3. Hud Dunlap
      Coat

      Re: They did not shoot him?

      Depends on the cop and how many people are taking videos.

      Watch this dog chew the bumper off a cop car.

      http://archive.11alive.com/news/national/story.aspx?storyid=142202

    4. TitterYeNot
      Coat

      Re: They did not shoot him?

      "I cannot believe it. Attacking a patrol car and remaining alive. In USA?"

      You can see from the video that Zeek the macaque's fur is mostly pale in colour, so I'm sure he was completely safe.

      However, had he looked like the monkey in the headline photo, with fur of a very much darker hue, I imagine he would have been shot repeatedly for viciously attacking a police officer with his retreating back as he ran away...

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: They did not shoot him?

      Wasn't black!

  2. skeptical i

    junk food, junk mail

    Now the person whose mail got eaten only need show the video to the debt collection agency -- "See? I told you a monkey ate the invoices!".

  3. Khaptain Silver badge

    Streefull Situation

    When the monkey was on top of the car it must have been a very stressful situation for passers-by.. How would they know who was actually in charge, the being on the roof or the being behind the wheel ?

    Not an easy situation to judge....They are both primates, with equal intelligence, although one of them might be seriously overweight and a lot slower than the other.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Semantics

    It wasn't "tampering" with the mail, it was EATING it! Totally different outcome.

  5. Jean Le PHARMACIEN

    Love the alliteration....

    "Jacques' macaque's attacks lacked malice"

    Superb

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. John Robson Silver badge

      Re: Love the alliteration....

      That's rhyme/rythym, not alliteration

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. Frumious Bandersnatch
          Headmaster

          Re: Love the alliteration....

          re: "It's certainly consonance"

          Or maybe certainly assonance (the vowel sounds being more consistent across the whole phrase than the k sounds)

  6. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Please tell me

    that this was the same Jeff Jacques that writes Questionable Content?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Please tell me

      Since he (webcomic author) just moved to Canada I think possibly not, although I wondered the exact same thing when first seeing the name,

  7. h4rm0ny
    Paris Hilton

    Monkey rights...?

    So are PETA campaigning to have the monkey tried for theft? Enquiring minds want to know.

  8. emmanuel goldstein

    I'm sure there's a copyright issue there somewhere.

  9. Fraggle850

    In England we no longer have problems with monkey miscreants...

    No doubt as a result of the sterling actions of the residents of Hartlepool during the early 19th century

    http://www.thisishartlepool.co.uk/history/thehartlepoolmonkey.asp

    Mind you we do also have the only colony of wild monkeys in Europe on Gibraltar and they've been known to pilfer from tourists

  10. hatti

    Mailus Primateus

    Must have been a Mailchimp

  11. Frumious Bandersnatch

    "wrought havoc?"

    I'm not posting this via the corrections link because I'm not 100% sure it's wrong and I'd like to see what other commentards think of the phrase.

    I'd always say "wreaked havoc" because I associate the verb with unleashing destruction. "Wrought" puts me in mind of constructive acts, like something being wrought (worked) in a foundry or how a jeweller might work (or fashion) metal into some sort of intricate shape. Or like, "Oh, what a brave new world social media has wrought?" (actual example from the net)

    Just thinking out loud, really.

    1. Jonathan Richards 1

      Re: "wrought havoc?"

      Seems ok to me. To wreak is one of those verbs that has an irregular past tense, and (without looking it up) I think that has wrought is better English than has wreaked.

      I'm going to hit 'Submit', and consult the OED; edit to follow!

      1. Jonathan Richards 1

        Sorry, you can no longer edit this post.

        Well, I'm wrong. Wrought is a past participle of the verb to work, and the correct p.pl. of wreak is wreaked. I'm quite sure that "wrought havoc" is an acceptable phrase in English, though.

        Here is an entire blog post about the issue.

        PS for El Reg. It's not polite to time out my post editing while I'm editing it!

  12. Stevie

    Bah!

    That minkey looks just like one of my colleagues (facial-build and smug expression-wise).

    The colleague is definitely not leesonced.

    Behaviour after a couple of beers matches to a "T" though.

    It's how he lost the leesonce.

    1. Bleu

      Re: Bah!

      If it is a macaque, it will definitely resemble former prime minister Koizumi.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Naughty monkey

    As punishment, the owner spanked his monkey.

  14. T. F. M. Reader

    "Tampering with mail being a felony offence in the US."

    Re the monkey in the headline image: with rights come responsibilities, so if a monkey can have IP rights to a selfie then a monkey should do time for tampering with mail.

    In a cage, yes... Oh...

  15. Captain TickTock
    Headmaster

    Cedilla has no place in licence

    Only needed before an a, o or u

  16. Bleu

    Minkey?

    Poor failure of the subs you allegedly have.

    I was expecting a weasel-like creature with nicer fur, so it is just a careless mis-spelling of monkey.

    Shame on those responsible.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Minkey?

      Not quite, buddy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9YViHbaAWM

      1. Bleu

        Re: Minkey?

        I will watch it, thanks in anticipation.

        Doubt it explains the original article's 'Minkey'.

        They should have let the error stand, it was funny.

  17. simonb_london

    Just been to India

    And one monkey in a neighbourhood isn't really news. Neither is a bull in the middle of the road, or a goat or a sheep or a snake....

  18. Alan W. Rateliff, II
    Paris Hilton

    Ignorance of the law...

    ...is no excuse. The monkey should be on community service for several weeks.

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