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back to article Unique astronaut job perk: Create a SHOOTING STAR by having a dump

It's celebration time aboard the International Space Station as 'nauts Scott Kelly and Mikhail Kornienko gallop past the halfway point of their "One Year Crew" extended space sojourn, and share with us various details of life as a long term space resident. The main purpose of the duo's extended stay is to gauge the long-terms …

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  1. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Now I want to be an astronaut - I want my turds to light up like shooting stars.

    What a story to tell the grandchildren - look up and make a wish, wish that that turd doesn't land on your head!!!!

    1 0 Reply
    1. Thecowking
      Reply Icon

      If you're producing stools that can survive re-entry, see a doctor immediately.

      10 0 Reply
      1. Little Mouse
        Reply Icon
        Boffin

        The technical term for ones that do reach the ground is "meteorshite"

        8 0 Reply
  2. ratfox
    Coat

    Twins and space travel

    I know how this ends: The twin who comes back is much younger than the one who stayed on earth, right?

    6 0 Reply
  3. Sgt_Oddball
    Coat

    Just like star trek

    NASA likes having a shat in space....

    Mines the red one with the phaser burns...

    0 0 Reply
    1. Little Mouse
      Reply Icon

      Re: Just like star trek

      Q: Why did Lt Uhura?

      A: Because William Shatner

      0 0 Reply
  4. TitterYeNot
    Coat

    and look like shooting stars...

    Twinkle twinkle little poo,

    How I wonder how you do.

    Up above the world so high,

    A flaming turd up in the sky.

    Hmmm, no, not quite the same somehow...

    9 0 Reply
  5. hatti

    Klingons

    I hope they remembered the bog roll before blast off to prevent a Klingon attack.

    1 0 Reply
  6. ravenviz Silver badge
    Happy

    trumpeting mankind

    LOL

    1 0 Reply
  7. Tom 7

    Phoenix Asteroids

    If they drink Guinness does their poo burn black?

    0 0 Reply
  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If your turds are large and sturdy enough to make it to the ground, you have serious problems!

    0 0 Reply
  9. Mark York 3 Silver badge
    Coat

    Updated lyrics for "A New England" by Billy Bragg (Or Kirsty)

    "I saw two shitting stars last night

    I wished on them but they came down from satellites

    It's so wrong to crap from space hardware

    Oh fuck Oh damn now it's in my hair......."

    3 0 Reply
  10. Drudgery Leak
    Coat

    Pretty soon they will discover a mysterious form of "brown matter" that appears to defy microgravity - ladies and gentlemen I give you - the everlasting floater.

    Coat because it could be a meteor shower outside ... and that was pretty poor ...

    4 0 Reply
  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That's not a shooting star

    Its a shitshow!

    0 0 Reply
  12. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    Exercise?

    Are these guys not doing much or any exercise? If they are doing the sort of exercise that we normally see 'nauts on (in?) the ISS, then I'm not sure how much monitoring and testing will help people recover from long terms in bed on Earth.

    I'm sure we'll learn plenty from the experience but sometimes it feels like they are adding in stuff that really isn't applicable just to tick more boxes.

    0 0 Reply

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