Apple will reveal new iPhone on Sept 9 – this is what it may look like Apple has sent out invites for a press conference next week where it will unveil new iPhones – quite possibly the iPhone 6S and iPhone 6S Plus. The Cupertino giant has issued passes to its docile and compliant friends in the media for a mystery event on September 9 in San Francisco. El Reg's invite was lost in the post, …
There are good writers on El Reg - funny and/or insightful. And then there seems to be a rotating crew of churnalists who do little more than rewrite press releases liberally sprinkled with cast-off once-funny cliches that have long gone stale. If I want boring, unfunny rants, I'll read the comments. ta very much.
Pull your finger out, journotards.
Unless one of the major manufacturers comes out with some kind of holographic, infinitely powered device, pictures of telephone and/or their enclosures should simply be thrown in the bin.
What's next : Apple managed to shave 0.001g of the weight, Samsung realese a new case with a logo made of aluminium manganese titanium alloy inserts .....ya gets the picture...
I actually thought I was going to see something that looked different from the last 6 generations.....wrong
Please stop this kind of drivel filled, utter nonsensical kind of article.... ( Samsung are just as bad)
Icon = the Spawn of the Devil called "Marketing"
Why bother is a good title for your post.
Why do you bother reading tech news at all?
A story about the biggest (or at least the most highly valued) tech company in the world coming out with a new device that will probably sell over 100 million units seems pretty well justified.
If you don't think so, you must also be bored by almost all other stories on El Reg. It's not like hardware, software, laptops, desktops, game consoles, etc. get more than incrementally better as the years tick by.
<Yawn> You are correct and much ado about a whole lot of nothing. Fortunately, I've never spent any money on any Apple products and never will. Also, mid range phones have gotten 'good enough' for me so I'm pretty much done spending big bucks on "high end phones". I've had the first 3 Galaxy Notes and still have the 3 but now Samsung has gotten themselves in trouble with me with their latest and greatest. No removable battery or SD Slot so they can play the mind share 'pretty bauble' so we can make you 'feel and think' like you're buying something special game like Apple? Really Samsung? Thanks but no thanks.
Fortunately, I'm pretty immune to 'hype' and Steve Jobs' 'reality distortion field' so I'm safe there but what I'm not safe from? silly articles like this darkening my desktop.
Don't worry the YAAPL event will be dissed here by all the usual subjects.
YAAPL = Yet another apple phone launch
A seemingly annual event that excites the Fanbois and non Register Hacks. (those of this place don't get invited so they can't get excited now can they?)
Next we will get a tranch of Analists guessing how many hundreds they'll sell before then expensive Apple paid for lunch. Then when their guesses miss the mark they'll phone their mates on Wall St and AAPL stick will drop $5.
Situaton normal then. Not news really but fun to watch for us bystanders.
It will have the now famous rectangular shape. With rounded corners whose radius and other parameters have already been carefully detailed in some patent.
I will be slightly thinner than the iPhone 6. And slightly lighter.
Its battery will last a little longer than the iPhone 6. Mind you, not much more in the best case, as always, it depends on what you do with your device.
Its main CPU and graphic chips will be a little faster and more powerful than the iPhone 6.
It will run a new version of iOS, which will phase out of support iPhone 4 users. Sorry, iPhone 4 owners, it is time to dig into your wallets again.
It will likely have some wireless charging capabilities, however the wireless charger will be sold separately and cost way more than anything comparable from the competition.
Its front and rear cameras will have some better light sensitivity. So those late night street selfies will look better. They may have better resolution, but that's something you don't care since four or five years ago because you can't tell apart a 5M from a 8M image from your tiny phone screen.
Plus, it will have some other feature that nobody can explain why it is there, and that will span rampant speculation for weeks. In two years, that feature will be either dismissed or become the next Apple gold mine.
Cost: it will be slightly more expensive than the iPhone 6.
What is amazing is that at this point in the evolution of this product, each new release has no extraordinary features but still get megabytes worth of comments, reviews and analysis. And still sell like hotcakes. Apple is full of marketing geniuses.
>> It will run a new version of iOS, which will phase out of support iPhone 4 users. Sorry, iPhone 4 owners, it is time to dig into your wallets again.
Nope. iOS 9 works on all the same devices as iOS 8. It will still work on an iPhone 4S which was introduced 4 years ago.
The comparable Nexus phone is the Galaxy Nexus. That was only officially upgradeable to Jellybean which is now 2 years out of date.
So, buy an Apple phone in 2011 and it's supported for at least 5 years and maybe longer. Buy an official Google Nexus phone in 2011 and it's good for 2 years.
And yet people accuse Apple of doing a money grab with deliberate obsolescence...
>> What is amazing is that at this point in the evolution of this product, each new release has no extraordinary features
The fingerprint sensor that was introduced with the 5S was pretty spectacular.
although you did neglect to mention that although you can have the latest "version", you won't get all the features. So really you aren't getting as good as deal as you imply, since the capability is different.
So if you have a 4S or whatever, you don't have the same featureset as the 6.
"Its front and rear cameras will have some better light sensitivity."
I'm not at all sure about that. Short of chilling the sensors, they are already impressive in terms of noise floor. More pixels = fewer photons per pixel, less sensitivity unless the sensor is bigger in proportion, and surely by now the ability to make telephoto lenses with a tiny number of thin aspheric elements must be bottoming out, so thinner phones prevent more sensor.
I suspect the low light performance is why Apple have stuck with low res cameras.
My guess, therefore, is more pixels = brighter flash.
Arnaut, very correct. The number of Mpixels are there for one purpose, and one only. Marketing. End-off.
I still have my Canon 10D, with 6.4MP 24mm CCD, and it will beat any 12MP phone camera hands-down, using a lot of it's pixels for noise reduction (I think effectively 5.7MP are actually used for the pictures).
Having a 12MP camera, and then lossy compress the crap out of it to a 2MB or so picture and even more so to your average 200KB cat/lunch/drunken_friend facefart post content is. Just. Marketing. I think El Reg had an article about this, but I can't be bothered to search for it. Things like light wavelength, noise, and size of CCDs and stuff. Actual technical details.
Oh, wait, this is about the new iPhone. Rejoice. By the way, wasn't there a version of that thing that was not to be named "iPhone <insert number><insert optional S>", but was to be named "the New iPhone". What happened to that?
"Plus, it will have some other feature that nobody can explain why it is there, and that will span rampant speculation for weeks. In two years, that feature will be either dismissed or become the next Apple gold mine."
You mentioned "rampant"...
iRabbit?
Just by coincidence, today's Evening Standard carried this feature. (NSFW, may be)
http://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/introducing-crescendo-the-new-sex-toy-that-lets-you-order-bespoke-vibrations-via-an-app-a2922086.html
What if Apple were to bring out a range of sex-toys?
Rounded corners - check.
"Premium Feel" - check. Sorry, scratch that - that's a Samsung term.
Available in any colour/color, as long as it's white - check
Fanbois and Fangirls will be camping outside Apple Stores for weeks to get their hands on them.
Paris - could review/endorse
There is always the colloquial meaning of "rabbit", which is quite apt in the context of a phone...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1fOZjiDaw4
"Plus, it will have some other feature that nobody can explain why it is there, and that will span rampant speculation for weeks. In two years, that feature will be either dismissed or become the next Apple gold mine."
You forgot to mention that feature will be hailed at the launch event as something new and magical* that Apple have invented, even though it's been around on other devices for some time.
* I was going to add that it'll be "beautiful" - but marketing morons from every big tech company are calling their shit beautiful these days. Gah!
But but but, the corners will surely be more refined, and superior. Obvious to any true follower of the one true Apple. This will be a source of riducule for those who have corners from 2015 Q1 or before, and THEY WILL BE CAST OUT, for they will not have followed the true path, not honoured the one.
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Android, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your corners and your icons, they comfort me"
>This way the device will know it's in your back pocket and won't magically unlock itself and dial Zimbabwe when you sit on it. No more butt-dialling!
>The future is now.
Damn right - just sew an NFC-tag into each pocket of each of your trousers, and instruct the phone to remain locked when in range of them, and job's a goodun'!
Siri will be able to predict your future. =P
iPhones will be able to call UFOs.
All iPhones will be bendable because of new flexible logic boards.
All iPhones will also be able to bounce like Flubber.
All iPads and iPhones will get full recharges by dipping them in water. [What? They get thirsty too!]
All iPhones will come with a free gorilla. (congrats to the winner of that new 6Gb Hard Drive!)
All iDevices will have built in 3D printing and come with the template to print your own 3D Apple Pony.
All iDevices will include a special build of OS9 that can transport you to a new reality.
And finally, all iPads will have the ability to unfold into a full sized iMac.
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