back to article Geeks on quest for world's most pointless YouTube video

Four tech geeks are seeking the most useless, unpopular, waste-of-space YouTube videos as part of an international competition, dubbed NoTube. The online contest, hosted in Switzerland, seeks to find videos on the mammoth Google video attic that make a mockery of YouTube's user-created content slogan 'broadcast yourself'. …

  1. FozzyBear
    IT Angle

    Oh

    So they have seen the video of the keynote speakers from the latest IBM data analytics conference too.

  2. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Surely every video on YouTube qualiifies ?

    1. Chrome

      Not so! There are episodes of Count Duckula and Dangermouse on there!

    2. Fungus Bob

      And entire MST3K movies.

      1. Mike Flugennock
        Thumb Up

        You read my mind, man...

        If nothing else, you can find almost the entire series run of MST3K -- the only '90s TV show that matters -- on YouTube.

        Don't forget the series' own urging to fans at the end of the closing credits for the first five seasons: KEEP CIRCULATING THE TAPES.

        Hi-keeba!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Art!

    Probably half of those are pirated from critically acclaimed Tate Modern installations.

  4. jake Silver badge

    Why?

    Are their lives so shallow/meaningless that they can't come up with their own pointless drivel? Honestly, the mind boggles.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why?

      I wonder if we could have the same award for El RegTards and pointless posts ( hint : see above )

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Why?

        >Are their lives so shallow/meaningless that they can't come up with their own pointless drivel?

        They have had the gumption to share things that amuse them and enjoy the activity of bringing people together, thus ticking the following boxes: humour, activity, community, celebration.

        For all we know this is just what they do for kicks when thy aren't busy curing cancer or whatever.

      2. Chris G

        Re: Why?

        Irony defficient? Or defficient irony?

    2. Mike Flugennock

      Re: Why?

      To paraphrase Bob Dylan in an interview he gave in the late '90s: ...because all of the truly great pointless YouTube videos have already been posted; it remains for us to judge them well.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Mike Flugennock (was: Re: Why?)

        In other words, "the pumps don't work because the vandals stole the handles".

        On the bright side, "you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows".

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    traffic driven to pointless videos

    I liked it before it had 300 views

    1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: traffic driven to pointless videos

      Wanna-be. I liked it before I saw it.

  6. Martin
    Happy

    But surely...

    ...once a video is claimed to be the most pointless ever, it automatically becomes interesting, and hence no longer qualifies?

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: But surely...

      Quite!

      Perhaps there is a way of recording how many views a video has had at the time it is first nominated for the competition.

    2. maffski

      Re: But surely...

      Yes, but think of the fame from merely being an 'honourable mention' for the most pointless video ever.

      In fact I think I'm going to order some packing supplies and then film an unboxing.

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: But surely...

        "In fact I think I'm going to order some packing supplies and then film an unboxing."

        Still not as bad as a cartoon character, badly drawn in MS Paint, repeating some tired meme over and over in a ten hour loop while masturbating.

        (My remaining vestiges of humanity prevent me from providing a link. Google at your own peril.)

  7. auburnman

    I would like to submit the entire category of 'Videos' that turn out to be a recording of a slideshow done with *shudders* Microsoft filmmaker or whatever it's called.

    1. Mike Flugennock
      Thumb Up

      A big "plus one" to you...

      Really, man... pretty much every tutorial on YouTube EVER. I'm at a point where whenever I'm searching for information on a software issue or for a tutorial, I always add "-youtube" to the search criteria to weed out all the stupid-ass tutorials done with a QuickTime screen recorder.

      ...and while we're at it, all those screen-recorder-generated videos of MMF hucksters showing off how they Made Money Fast On The Internet ought to be nominated as well.

      1. JLV
        Thumb Down

        Re: A big "plus one" to you...

        Generalizations are the enemy of original thinking.

        It totally depends on the subject. If there is a heavy graphical/visual component to the subject then video/YouTube may very well carry the message more efficiently and expressively than text with images.

        Examples - text editor tricks, CSS effects, GUI-heavy programs, graphical editors.

        Counterexamples: coding, OO or db design, patterns, language references or proper tutorials.

        Still, I would nominate an ex-colleague's as most pointless ever video - 5 min/93 MB to clarify which one (of a dozen or so) checkboxes had to be checked on one screen of a ClearCase transaction to satisfy the PHBs code check-in guidelines. Mind you, the company manual on the subject ran to 60-70 pages for about as much info and I suspect many meetings were involved in getting off the ground.

        P.S. whatever happened to YouTube's time bookmarking feature? The one where you could link to a specific spot in a video. Haven't seen it working in ages. Too easy to skip ads with it?

        1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

          Re: A big "plus one" to you...

          If there is a heavy graphical/visual component to the subject then video/YouTube may very well carry the message more efficiently and expressively than text with images.

          I've used screencasts several times to complement directions for some complicated administration process, for field personnel and customers. They have their place.

      2. jonathanb Silver badge

        Re: A big "plus one" to you...

        Some of the tutorials are actually very useful.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Alternatively...

    ...go the subreddit called deepintoyoutube

    They take pride in finding videos with the fewest views possible.

  9. CaptainHook

    IOCOSE are a collective of four artists: Matteo Cremonesi (Brescia, IT), Filippo Cuttica (London, UK), Davide Prati (Berlin, DE) and Paolo Ruffino (London, UK). They have been working as a group since 2006 through a variety of media, such as websites, videos, social networks, portraits, sunflower seeds and dogs.

    *****

    No doubt a funny project, but it does look a bit like a bunch of professional artists trying to discredit anyone not a professional artist by picking out the worse examples.

    1. emmanuel goldstein

      I would like to propose that the collective noun for a group of artists should henceforth be a SMUG.

  10. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

    Ridiculing and bullying

    I do not believe anyone should be publicly criticising and ridiculing what others do, no matter how pointless or inane they find it themselves. The worst of it is that they are going out of their way to find stuff they don't find worthy and encouraging others to do the same.

    Perhaps they will next run a competition to find those kids' drawings which really have no place on a fridge door and should never be carried in a proud parent's pocket?

    It feels to me we are being surrounded by ever more hatred every day, and that's become a leading hobby for many, inspired by social media and those who see Katie Hopkins and other haters as good role models.

    "Hate" has been a currency in America for a long while and it now seems it's an export embraced around the world.

    1. John H Woods Silver badge

      Re: Ridiculing and bullying

      "I do not believe anyone should be publicly criticising and ridiculing what others do, no matter how pointless or inane they find it themselves. The worst of it is that they are going out of their way to find stuff they don't find worthy and encouraging others to do the same." -- Jason Bloomberg

      +1 Satire <> Mockery. I have had to have words with muscular poseurs in the gym for taking the piss out of my fellow fatties. As far as I'm concerned, if you've got the bandwidth for this nastiness you aren't working hard enough.

    2. Mike Flugennock

      Re: Ridiculing and bullying

      Believe you me, the stuff these guys are holding up for ridicule isn't even close to art -- not even "outsider art". This stuff is pure, down-to-the-bone crap.

      Hell, as far as that goes, Mystery Science Theater 3000, one of the most influential TV shows of the last century, became famous for raising public ridicule to a high art -- but only by going after movies that truly deserved it.

      ...kinda like these guys.

  11. DJV Silver badge

    Probably...

    ...this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93CpgRQ9Q7g

    Pretty pointless with only 174 views since 2006!

    1. AceRimmer

      Re: Probably...

      That one isn't pointless, just very under appreciated (well it made me laugh anyway)

    2. Col_Panek

      Re: Probably...

      Yes, but with the bar set so low, it is somewhere in the middle of the useless/pointless hierarchy...

  12. Mike Flugennock
    Thumb Up

    Hell, it's pretty much ALL pointless now, isn't it...?

    Plane crash porn, car crash porn, Chuck E. Cheese fight footage, cats falling off of table tops, people throwing chunks of dry ice into swimming pools, time-share pitches, drunken frat punks launching bottle rockets from their butt cracks, "unboxing" videos, those goddamn' ice bucket clips -- hell, any actual interesting or useful content left on there is pretty much drowned out by all the friggin' bullshit.

    I don't know about NoTube judging criteria, though. I wouldn't judge on description, or the number of hits, or the number of comments, or even on whether or not the shooter had the presence of mind to rotate her phone 90 degrees. The most godawful, shit-assed clips I've seen posted have "proper" descriptions, are shot in landscape, and have a crapdillion hits.

    I abandoned my YouTube account several years ago because of the idiotic dross listed above -- not to mention being hounded about my "third-party content" for the 15 seconds of an old Pink Floyd song I used in the background of a video I posted eight years ago.

    Vimeo, FTW.

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: Hell, it's pretty much ALL pointless now, isn't it...?

      "hell, any actual interesting or useful content left on there is pretty much drowned out by all the friggin' bullshit."

      You've pretty much just described all media, haven't you?

  13. BobRocket

    I've got one on there, 239 views in 2 years (god knows who viewed it) I put it up to demo an engine I was selling on fleabay and never bothered taking it down. Could be a classic in the making.

    Http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9Na27qssiQw

  14. Martin Summers Silver badge

    That video you linked to at the end for those who have never seen it (coloured squares and test tones) was part of thousands on the same channel that could not be linked to anyone. The BBC ran a story on these 'mysterious' videos and finally YouTube/Google owned up to them being test videos they had placed. There were all kinds of theories as to what they were including being the modern equivalent of a numbers radio station.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-27238332

  15. nic861

    Windows 10 startup sound slowed down to 20hour - for fun

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vpgdsm1Cat0

  16. Col_Panek

    Every Flat Earth video

    ...ever made. And the next. And the next...... the IQ of the world notches down with each one.

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