Voice synthesis?
Ah, yes, you'll need an Apple Mac for that.
Legless Swede attempts to row home
A 78-year-old Swede has earned himself a place in hard-drinking lore by attempting to row home after a robust session in the Danish town of Helsingor - an ill-advised venture since it involved a 5km (3 mile) paddle across the Oresund Strait to Helsingborg. The unnamed amateur oarsman, having apparently soaked up a skinful, was …
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Tuesday 1st July 2008 11:20 GMT Neil
Something similar
A mate of mine once tried to row out to Hayling Island (the one near Portsmouth? I think it's called that) whilst rather inebriated, using a boat he found abandoned on a beach.
Turns out the boat was abandoned because of the large holes, causing him to sink and be rescued by a convenient coastguard.
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Tuesday 1st July 2008 11:20 GMT Anonymous Coward
Sounds like his autopilot kicked in
Good to see his autopilot is still functioning at such a ripe old age and he was more or less heading in the right direction while oblivious to everything around him. Can't say I can remember trying mine over water but I suppose that's the whole point of having it.
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Tuesday 1st July 2008 13:19 GMT Alan Parsons
The magic teacup.
Some friends and I perfected this in our latter teens/early 20s. The magic teacup is a revolutionary form of transport whereby at the end of an evening's entertainment one must consume all that remains in all visible glasses. This invariably leads to waking up at home, the only caveat being that you may have traded or at least parted with one or more items of clothing to get there.
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Tuesday 1st July 2008 13:34 GMT Dave
Speech synthesis
Hey, I remember some of that early speech synthesis work (not necessarily Word Perfect, though). It didn't work very well for most words, but it would say smut words quite well (Err, does that indicate where the designer's minds were?).
Dave
P.S. Mine's the one with the tiny speaker in the lapel.
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Tuesday 1st July 2008 16:37 GMT Anonymous Coward
Danish jokes
This doesn't surprise me. It's very common for the Swedes to pop over to Denmark to get trollied.
My girlfriend reckons that if you see anyone drunk in the street 90% of the time they're Swedes (9% they're Brits and the last 1% is Danes on the day Julebryg's released), so much so that there's a common expression in Denmark:
Keep Denmark clean - take a Swede to the ferry.
Some amused Dane probably suggested it to him as a good idea.
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Wednesday 2nd July 2008 08:28 GMT Fuzzy
@ Alan Parsons
I have to agree, though we had a magic carpet Though the magic carpet would always get us home nice and safe it required payment in memories. The problem was it appeared to always take the memories from the person who was lhe most inebriated and who had made the biggest fool of himself.
Ah memories,...or the lack of them, those were the days
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Thursday 3rd July 2008 09:44 GMT Anonymous Coward
@ Fuzzy
We have the beer scooter. In the wee small hours the beer scooter turns up to take you home. Normally, due to the speed at which it travels, you will fall off at least once and that is the cause of all those unidentified drinking injuries and the memory loss from concussion. You pay the driver, Bachus, with whatever cash you have left over but get a kebab chucked into the deal.
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
