back to article Windows 10 to MELT YOUR BRAIN and TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE

Microsoft has announced that Candy Crush Saga will be bundled with Windows 10. Redmond has revealed a deal with the game's developer, King, to bring the mega-hit to its new operating system. Other King games will also appear on the platform. That's good news for King, which is finding it hard to satisfy investors. It's bad …

  1. Roger B
    Unhappy

    No no no no no no

    Nope, no, no thanks, nope.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Re: No no no no no no

      Then right click, uninstall.

      1. Roger B

        Re: No no no no no no

        But it's there, its installed, I'll just have a quick go, what's the harm right? A quick 5 minutes to see what all the fuss is about, it won't harm me, I can handle it, I can quit at any time, honest!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: No no no no no no

          In all seriousness, I did for a while have that experience with 2048. I was finding it like that episode of star trek TNG, when they all get addicted to that game you strap onto your head. Except Wesley. Who's hair was so weirdly rigid at the time, the games kept snapping as he tried to put them on. Or something.

          1. Roger B

            Re: No no no no no no

            Oh I saw that one the other week Will and Ashley Judd (Thank you IMDB) I guess that's the end game, get us all hooked up to Hololens and start playing that game next!

    2. hplasm
      Devil

      Re: No no no no no no

      But finally! A Win10 USP!!

  2. Khaptain Silver badge

    Not just Eye Candy then

    Is this indicative of how Microsoft consider their latest offering.... Nothing very interesting to offer so here have a free game of Candy Pop.....

    This is how to take a professional product and reduce it to the rank of pathetic amateur......

    An OS should sell on its simplicity of use, invisibility, integration, ergonomics, etc etc but no, here we have an OS selling by including a game for children.....( and bored commuting adults)

    1. Lamont Cranston

      Re: Not just Eye Candy then

      Windows has always come bundled with a few games. My understanding was that Solitaire and Minesweeper were there to teach new users how to use the mouse - surely this is no different?

      1. edge_e
        WTF?

        Re: Not just Eye Candy then

        Solitaire and Minesweeper were there to teach new users how to use the mouse

        I'd be interested in evidence to back up that claim.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Not just Eye Candy then

          I'd be interested in evidence to back up that claim.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Solitaire (and the resources it references)

          1. edge_e
            Boffin

            Re: Not just Eye Candy then

            3rd party opinion that it was useful for learning mouse skills is not proof that there was a decision to include it because it would.

            whilst on the subject of using wikipedia for proof, here's the nearly relevant xkcd

            https://xkcd.com/978/

        2. Spanners Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Not just Eye Candy then

          I have an anecdote.

          Some years ago, I was working for a firm in Northamptonshire that makes accounting software.

          I was dealing with an engineer from Microsoft and I asked if it was a true rumour. He confirmed it to me that they were specifically to teach point & click with Minesweeper and Drag & Drop with Solitaire.

        3. This post has been deleted by its author

        4. Lamont Cranston

          Re: evidence @edge_e

          Something my dad told me when I was about 7, when I enquired as to why Minesweeper was present on the laptop he'd borrowed from work. Seemed like a plausible enough reason at the time. I don't recall him making a similar excuse for the presence of Rogue, though!

          1. edge_e
            Boffin

            Re: evidence @Lamont

            I agree it sounds plausible, I just wondered if there was evidence.

            Personally, I think it's one of those things that everyone thinks is true just because they've heard it so many times like "you shouldn't swim straight after eating"

            1. Lamont Cranston

              Re: evidence @Lamont

              I attempted my 50m swimming badge on a full stomach, and threw up in the pool. Make of that what you will.

      2. Simon Harris

        Re: Not just Eye Candy then

        Maybe now that everyone's so used to mouse clicking and touch-screen swiping, Microsoft should bundle Colossal Cave and Zork to remind people how to use the keyboard.

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not just Eye Candy then

      No different to solitaire on Win 3.1 and onwards, and how many times have you walked in on the CEO to find it minimised to the task bar! This is just Microsoft tempting those who do not care what an OS is into thinking it is no different to iOS. I’m sure you can locate the uninstall or better still on your custom install don’t include it to begin with.

  3. MJI Silver badge

    Saga

    Does that mean it has a long meaningful story?

    1. DNTP

      Re: Saga

      Nope, it just means they can spam lawsuits at everyone else who uses that word in a completely different title.

  4. peakyblinder

    As if the world hasn't played it enough...

    I wonder how much King are paying MS for this?

  5. Little Mouse
    WTF?

    Non-deterministic Polynomial-time problems are on the boundary between hard and easy?

    There's a boundary? No "slightly challenging" grey area?

    1. Bloakey1

      Re: Non-deterministic Polynomial-time problems are on the boundary between hard and easy?

      It depends whether Polly is convergent or divergent.

      Now for one of my favourite webby wibbles which I first saw on Usenet in those halcyon pre web days:

      http://www.isg.rhul.ac.uk/~sdg/story1.html

      1. Simon Harris
        Coat

        "It depends whether Polly is convergent or divergent."

        So, the alternative option was Microsoft bundling Flappy Bird.

        1. RyokuMas
          Thumb Up

          Re: "It depends whether Polly is convergent or divergent."

          Android got there first - well, sort of.

  6. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Boffin

    Microsoft's twin-pronged strategy revealed

    1. Alienate the techno-literate (would-be, could-be) users.

    2. Go directly for the shit-for-brains market.

    And just because it sounds snobby, doesn't mean it's not true.

    1. Lysenko

      Re: Microsoft's twin-pronged strategy revealed

      It sounds elitist, condescending, intellectually arrogant, a clear affront to "hard working families"[sic] ... and it's still true.

  7. DrXym

    And you wondow why Windows 10 will be free

    Because they can lead users wherever they like - micropayments, "premium" features, subscriptions for access to services etc.

    1. Tachikoma

      Re: And you wondow why Windows 10 will be free

      Insufficient gems to launch "Anti-Virus" would you like to go to the store to purchase more?

      200 gems + 50 bonus gems for only £34.99!

      Recommend a friend and unlock "Administrator Mode"!

      Connect to FaceBook to save your documents!

      1. John Sanders
        Pint

        Re: And you wondow why Windows 10 will be free

        """Insufficient gems to launch "Anti-Virus" would you like to go to the store to purchase more?"""

        Genious!

        Pint winner comment of the day

  8. sandman

    Lighten up!

    OFGS - why not? Windows has never been the same since Minesweeper and Solitaire, etc, stopped being bundled with it. Bring it on I say - that's the dull conference calls sorted. It's either that or read the Reg ;-)

  9. RyokuMas
    Devil

    So many possibilities...

    ... for response posts here, but I guess I'll settle for this one:

    They're obviously after the government market.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    what's candy crush

    some sort of android-like skin for windows 10?

  11. thesykes

    Just another bit of crap to uninstall, to add to all the other crap dumped on your computer by the manufacturer.

    1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
      Devil

      crap to uninstall...

      That's assuming one is allowed to uninstall it...

      1. The Real Tony Smith
        Linux

        Re: crap to uninstall...

        "That's assuming one is allowed to uninstall it..."

        But surely it's my computer and I can install/uninstall whatever I want?

        (sorry not much experience of Windows for the past 14 years)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Happy

          Re: crap to uninstall...

          yes, it really, really, REALLY hard to uninstall apps from Windows 8+. You find the icon you normally use to launch it, right click on it, and now the tricky bit....click on "Uninstall".

          If using a touch screen, just to make it confusing, you have to press onthe icon and hold for a few seconds, move your finger a short distance and press on uninstall.

          I know a little technical for many here, used to going into menu after menu, or running lines of code, but there you go.

          1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

            Missing the point...?

            yes, it really, really, REALLY hard to uninstall apps from Windows 8+...

            Dude I know how to uninstall stuff. Are you being deliberately obtuse?

            I am daring to suggest MS may decide to not permit uninstallation of certain bundled software, especially if payment to MS from (say) King is contingent on their bundled software remaining installed.

            It'll turn into the typical bundled bloatware shit on smartphones, put there by manufacturers and network operators that you can't uninstall without rooting the phone. Except rooting won't be an option on Windows. Not if you want to keep Windows.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Missing the point...?

              In the Windows 10 betas with each build a little more was uninstallable. Windows Store, OneDrive, apparently being built into the system like Internet Explorer was. You know, things that at the start weren't, and that don't need to be. Last build I ran you could no longer uninstall Skype. It fits exactly their apparent plan for Windows 10 that what they really want you to use they remove the option for you to remove. And if CCS is really addictive and Microsoft will get ongoing income from it frankly I'd expect them to make it hard to uninstall.

            2. Shades
          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            @Lost all faith - Re: crap to uninstall...

            You mean I can't right click on a touch screen ? What if I use my right hand thumb ?

        2. JDX Gold badge

          Re: crap to uninstall...

          In an enterprise environment you can remove games and such already I think so I am sure that will be the same. Or maybe it will only ship in home versions anyway.

  12. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
    Meh

    notoriously addictive?

    Say wot? Never played it. Don't know anyone who has. Guess I'm not cool enough or something.

    Maybe it only works if you're the sort of person excited by bright colours.

    1. beast666

      Re: notoriously addictive?

      Here's a thing...

      Play it.

      Report back here in xxx months.

      (Cue discussion about use of the apostrophe.)

      1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
        Mushroom

        @beast666

        No

        1. beast666

          Re: @beast666

          Then you will never know anything my friend.

          Open your mind and you will be free!

          1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: @beast666

            Then you will never know anything my friend.

            Open your mind and you will be free!

            I have a pretty open mind already mate.

            I can happily spend the rest of my life never knowing anything about candy crush and never sending micro (and not so micro) payments to King, thankyouverymuch

            Somehow I don't think my life will be poorer for that.

      2. Reginald Marshall

        Re: notoriously addictive?

        Play it.

        Report back here in xxx months.

        Did that for a while. I have two hard rules for free-to-play games:

        1. Make it possible to advance by skill and/or moderate amount of luck if you choose not to spend money.

        2. Don't be blatantly in-my-face with suggestions for purchasing gems/coins/whatever.

        (Along with a meta-rule: I won't spend a farthing on your game.) CCS violated both and got uninstalled.

        Go thou and do likewise.

        1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: notoriously addictive?

          1. Make it possible to advance by skill and/or moderate amount of luck if you choose not to spend money.

          2. Don't be blatantly in-my-face with suggestions for purchasing gems/coins/whatever.

          ^^^^ this ^^^^

          Precisely why I flat refuse to buy any game that is "free" and then demands micro payments for even incremental progress.

          If the game is good, if I want it, and if you want to charge me a reasonable up-front fee, I will buy it.

          If you try to tell me it's free when it blatantly isn't, and progress - never mind completion - can only be achieved with lots of in-game purchases, fuck off.

          1. Tom 38

            Re: notoriously addictive?

            Precisely why I flat refuse to buy any game that is "free" and then demands micro payments for even incremental progress.

            I still haven't really forgiven Valve for TF2 - it was a great game, but it required skill. People don't like acquiring skill, so they "re-balanced" the game, and made upgrade items that basically meant you couldn't compete with someone who has the super duper set of items when you just have the stock items.

  13. DerekCurrie
    Thumb Down

    Disgusting

    Insipid

  14. PapaD

    Unethical business practices

    Well, this is annoying

    I've specifically not had anything to do with King games because of the legal action they took against the inventor of the game they copied, to prevent him from profiting from his original piece of work.

    1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: Unethical business practices

      That was a dirty underhand trick wasn't it?

      Seems like you can only stick with whatever version of Windows you have or, subject to my earlier concerns about removability, immediately nuke it from orbit if it appears on any future version you install.

      After all, it's the only way to be sure -------------->

    2. TheRealRiff

      Re: Unethical business practices

      Hear, hear!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Unethical business practices

      But you have no problem using Microsoft software, who only got going after dishonestly licensing someone else's software?

  15. joed

    and WMC was not worth the support and WMC was not worth the support

    thanks MS, I like my money being put to good use

    1. Michael Habel

      Re: and WMC was not worth the support and WMC was not worth the support

      Windows Media Center was a [REDACTED] joke... It could've been a contender... But apparently DVB-C is something they never heard of over there in 'ol Redmond. So WMC was never EVER of any use to me ever... And remember it took 'em all the way up til Windows 7, just to gain support for DVB-S(2). By that time I was long into VDR Linux.

      Well that was then, today I'm on an ARM Android powered Device, and it supports my SAT>IPTV (Live TV), and Kodi, and it only burns ~12.5w an Hour, as opposed to the +400w's of my old HTPC. And I'm not missing a single thing. As a Docked USB HDD covers all my recording & Storage needs.

      So I never really got what WMC, was ever good for...

  16. TheRealRiff

    Unethical?

    Since I read they nicked the game and then candy-crushed the guy out of it, I wouldn't look at the game. Dirty.

    1. TonyJ

      Re: Unethical?

      "Since I read they nicked the game and then candy-crushed the guy out of it, I wouldn't look at the game. Dirty."

      My thought exactly!

  17. FuzzyTheBear
    FAIL

    Whatever the name ..

    The same game with the same rules has been around for a solid 10 years. Just a different skin but that's all there is to it. Call it bejeweled or anything else , remains old stuff with nothing new to offer than more crappy graphics. Really .. that's no incentive to go win 10 .. In fact .. it just shows how lame microsoft is.

  18. Nanners

    Uhhhhh

    You know cc is malware right?

  19. Amorous Cowherder

    the game presents a “Non-deterministic Polynomial-time” problem “that computer scientists believe are on the boundary between hard and easy.”

    No one says you should spend every spare minute trying improve your intellect by reading the latest CERN research paper, there's nothing wrong with wasting a bit of time but people should try daydreaming and using their imaginations to waste time, give your brain a chance to relax for 5 mins. Playing cack like CCS is like not letting your car's revs drop below a certain point, it's not a problem to leave your brain to idle once in a while for a few minutes, it's actually beneficial.

    1. P. Lee

      >it's not a problem to leave your brain to idle once in a while for a few minutes, it's actually beneficial.

      +1 for that. However, the problem is that these mobile amusements are not letting your brain idle. They are a focussed distraction. On demand entertainment fills every moment with something trivial, and I'm not sure that is good. Far better to actually have nothing to focus on, so that your brain can have a rest and reflect on the past, present and/or future. When I see how people use their smartphones, I begin to wonder if people lives are so horrific they can't bear to risk a pause during which they may inadvertently examine their life and ponder their existence.

  20. Michael Habel

    Whats that whooshing sound?!

    Ohh.... It was just MicroSoft's last hope of ever getting me off of Windows 7 Ultimate... If its there prerogative to dumb down the Windows OS to the point of their crappy WinPho OS. In order to forester more Nokia's off on us... Then I suspect that they'll feel the biting reality in due course. For starters I have NO ambition of being an @55c10wn for them to though 5h17 at the wall, to see what sticks on Win-OSX So as not to upset the Banker-Classes when it all goes South. Is already NOT a place I want to be... But This latest addition just took the, last Biscuit for me.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No wonder candy crush shartes have tanked

    down 14%

    http://www.bbc.com/news/business-32747504

    Embrace? Yep

    Extend? Well causing the value of the company to nosedive...

    Extinguish? 14% less to pay for the game sounds like good business to me.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Could have shipped with a Linux distro in a VM and won plaudits from the community!

  23. Mikel

    Ruining your good name with a bad partnership

    King should know better.

  24. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
    Windows

    Go put on some dry pants, people.

    So does this replace the Start Menu or the TIFKAM tiles? How do I launch Notepad with this?

    But look, seriously ... Unlike what I read in these comments I've never felt it necessary to base my choice of OS on the games bundled with it, Just don't launch the danged thing. Unless it's the new log-on screen? (Solve the puzzle to log into Windows.).

  25. davidp231

    Shares

    Is this why King's shares dropped 14% overnight?

  26. Teiwaz

    Microsoft Windows in a very productive Operating System

    Well, they can wave goodbye to that claim.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Windows has been an embarrassing joke for a while

    I was doing an install of a $2M semiconductor process machine, and my part of the project had to run on Windows (XP, with the Fisher-Price theme at that time) because a hardware component only supported that platform.

    So here I was setting up the software while the competitors machines all ran on Unix. The manager for that section came over to help with the integration, and it emerged that i had to search for a particular file on the network, so I started the search and to my horror an animation of a little dog popped up and started sniffing while the search proceeded.

    I quickly hit close to shut down the embarrassing animation, but instead of instantly disappearing, the dog went through a little routine where it expressed disappointment and then slowly walked away.

    The manager just kind of looked at me with a look of pity. I have never felt like such a loser in my life.

    Rule #1 for any software - Don't make your user look stupid.

  28. Howard Hanek
    Black Helicopters

    Insidious Mind Control?

    Straight out of the plot of the 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' movie.

    1. Michael Habel

      Re: Insidious Mind Control?

      I really need to re-watch that Movie again!

  29. PAT MCCLUNG

    MS Windows

    OMG, I would have nothing to do with MS Windows, except I have to keep a copy (8.1), just to see what is going to happen next. But many family members continue to suffer every day, and so I try to help them. What a disaster. Windows 10 promises to become an apocalypse. Hopeless. Hopeless. Horror. Horror. Horror. Beyond all human comprehension that anybody voluntarily uses this software. Still, there it is, like Syphilis and Gonorrhoea, and I have to treat the victims.

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