back to article That's a big 4Ker of a cosmos: 3D planetarium to open in Bristol

Junior star-gazers in Bristol have been given notice that they will have to share the city’s soon-to-be-3D planetarium with data scientists and marketeers as the city burnishes its tech hub credentials. Exterior shot of At-Bristol Planetarium Just a few gallons of Windolene and we'll be up and running The planetarium at …

  1. Ru'

    "Software Defined Programmable City"? Whoever came up with that, just fk off. Fk off right now.

    1. Rosie Davies

      "Software Defined Programmable City" - that's a gert lush set of words that is. I am looking forward to see what happens to it when it makes contact with St Paul's. And Southmead. And Hartcliffe.

      Rosie

      1. Trainee grumpy old ****
        Black Helicopters

        RE: “Software Defined Programmable City”

        >> see what happens to it when it makes contact with St Paul's. And Southmead. And Hartcliffe

        Whoever came up with the name may subconciously wish to configure certain areas out of the city?

    2. Paul Kinsler

      Re: Software Defined Programmable City

      ... to me, that sounds rather like the basis for quite a popular game!

      But I do hope someone hasn't thought of it first :-)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Happy

        Re: Software Defined Programmable City

        SIM-Bristol, with programmable red-legged monsters

    3. Little Mouse

      Will there be toilets too?

      Or just facilities to allow people to experience an Armitage-Shanks Interface Defecation Scenario?

      1. Glen 1
        Coat

        Re: Will there be toilets too?

        Re: Armitage-Shanks Interface

        Here is an example of such a device.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Will there be toilets too?

        Armitage Shanks Shit Hole Output Level Elimination

        1. phuzz Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: Will there be toilets too?

          "Armitage Shanks Shit Hole Output Level Elimination"

          You're kind of missing the point of the 'acronym is a swearword' idea.

          How about "Armitage Shanks Seated Human Output Level Elimination"

          1. Elmer Phud

            Re: Will there be toilets too?

            Is that for the 'Business User Model Simulation'?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Will there be toilets too?

        No, they never think of such things in these simulations

    4. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

      House!

      Hmm wait... damn. "Software Defined Programmable City" ain't on my bullshit-bingo card.

    5. Jon Massey

      Gorgeous George?

  2. frank ly

    100 seats?

    Looks at the stairs and handrails, looks at the sphere. Is it bigger on the inside?

    1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

      Re: 100 seats?

      Agreed. Maybe the view is most immersive sat half way up the wall or dangling from the top of the dome.

  3. Free Maps?

    Well I'm pleased

    I live in Bristol - the old planetarium felt Victorian, this upgrade sounds great.

    1. armster
      Alien

      Re: Well I'm pleased

      Every time one of the old Planetariums gets 'upgraded' it is really a rather big disappointment. I can still remember some of the nice Zeiss planetarium projectors of my youth, Not only are they impressive machines more intricate than a mechanical wrist watch, they also managed to project thousands of planets and galaxies with amazing resolution, and they managed to project stars in true pin-point size at realistic brightness and color levels. If you simply use a few 4k projectors to project a mostly black sky each object is rendered by just a few pixels. Unless you live in a city you have a better view from the outdoors. It used to be you could take an amazing journey to the stars in a planetarium, nowadays you can't, and the programs have adapted: They tell stories with large visual effects filling the whole dome (once you light up a good portion of the dome you can at least use your 4k projector), rather than let the stars tell the story themselves. Might as well go to the next IMAX.

  4. mnb20

    3d planetarium?

    Surely all the astronomical objects are so far away that the images seen by your eyes are identical. What is the point of the 3d?

  5. Britt

    Hmmm

    I will pay it a visit. It's close to home, but...

    This 'ere "Software Defined Programmable City" sounds a bit naff. They ain't programming 'artcliffe, that I tell ya.

    We've barely got running water and electricity, though we do have cable internet.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. AceRimmer1980
    Go

    144 core fibre ducts?

    A bus network Bristol can be proud of, for a change

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