"...Game of iPhones"
Unless, of course, the new "Game of iThrones" is coming out to coincide with that other, necessary tech paradigm shift to hit us.
The new Apple Toilet. Excrete like you never have before, in more convenient ways than before.
It's time for Apple to show off its hardware: the Apple Watch, a shiny and expensive accessory for a shiny and expensive accessory (the iPhone) – plus a new Intel Core M thin MacBook for $1,299, and a HBO Now tie-up with Apple TV. CEO Tim Cook is leading a presentation on the device in San Francisco today. You can watch live …
"... Apple has no problem finding our phone number [...] when we're ABOUT TO write some bad news about them ..."
How on earth do they know you're about to write a bad story? Are they in cahoots with the NSA? Do you write all your stories on Apple computers which have a built-in backdoor to Cupertino and a keyword detector? ("fanboi" must set it off)
"... spins much faster than Earth does." - Could be why Apple makes me puke :-/
"...catches fire and burns your arm off." - That's YOUR fault for having arms!
I'd like to respond to you all a little more, but my watch is dying and I still need it for all my awesome sweet stag lickering tweets that will light this place up in juiced rainbows!
"Or so it claims, looking like the pebble is a better option"
No doubt.
Pebble Mk1 is a better and more useful smartwatch than the Apple attempt.
Not to mention that it is favoured by people who like to develop and it's a doddle to develop for (a bit like an 80s home computer) and there is a web based IDE where you can write, build and install an app in about 2 minutes.
Daddy!
Yes, son?
What does regret mean?
Well son, the funny thing about regret is, is that it is better to regret something you HAVE done rather than something you HAVEN'T done....and if you see your mom this weekend be sure and tell her, 'SATAN', 'SATAN', 'SATAN', 'SATAN'.......
To be fair, it was not dissimilar to USB1 when it came out, as I recall - although it was a while ago. Apple pushed it on the iMac and it gained a lot more traction.
If it causes USB-C to be implemented more widely on other hardware, that's fine by me.
As for the just one connector....be interesting to see how that is worked around in the real world. Presumably a y-cable on the power connector or something?
Steven R
Another scenario...
- I think I'll plug it into an external display for a presentation via the magic of USB-C.
Sometime later...
- The battery's running out. I can wait for the screen to go black or I can unplug the display and plug the charger in... oh.
----
Another scenario...
- I'll plug it into my client's Ethernet lead via this USB-C to Ethernet dongle available for an outrageous sum.
Oh damn, the battery's at 10%. I'm fucked.
Etc... etc...
Another scenario...
I'm sitting in Starbucks rocking a latte and my new MacBook. Father's trust fund and 'careful' tax planning has meant I've never had to do a day's work in my whole life. My two best friends, next to me, Joshi and Clarabellabella are also trustifarians, also do fuck all and also have new MacBooks. I keep forgetting to charge mine up since the battery first ran out, I've lost the mains cable somewhere on Daddy's boat and the screen isn't working or something. Anyway it's all black, and I'm sure it wasn't like that earlier when I WhatsApp'd Harmonieh in Marrakech. She too was in a Starbucks, photoing her latte.
I'll have another coffee and use my iPhone to upload a clip of it to whatever social site my tribe mindlessly worships this week. I'll buy another MacBook next week maybe and see if that one does stuff. I'll leave this one on the chair next to me, and five minutes after leaving Starbucks, I'll have forgotten I ever owned it.
I use a Mac but I'm not fanboy (use a MacBook from 2009, no I-thingies). A single connector like a phone is great, though a second port would be nice. Presumably £50 gets you a hub. But a mere 1 kg is very, very impressive for the size. I can see Apple selling shedloads of these. The colour and the weight may also appeal to the ladies.
At some point I'm going to have to replace my machine but fortunately I don't have to do much travelling for work.
Actual photo of a fanboi's desk in preparation for the event.
You *are* a prick... Most likely it will be my-willy-is-bigger-than-yours willy-wavers like you who'll be stumping up for the $10,000 model *and* the MacBook to out-Air any MacBook Air users in their circle of friends...
But hey... don't let name-calling get in the way of the debate, yeah?
Prick.
I struggle to know where to start with a response to this so lets start with an easy opener that, speaking directly and expressing my opinion freely you are a cunt of the highest order.
Now thats over we can move onto the minor issue that disposable income and sexuality are not linked, you will clearly be shocked to learn that both gay and straight people can be rich or poor, and in equal measure they can have both good and bad taste.
Now thats dealt with perhaps you can do the planet a favour and pop yourself down the vets for a one way trip on ketamine airways?
I spotted the remark about the watch having Apple Pay and Siri on it - just a suggestion here, but it's probably not a good idea to be surfing any paid-content sites where the word 'yes' is used repeatedly... dare I ask if the watch has motion sensors which might be used to detect such erroneous acceptances...?
"I spotted the remark about the watch having Apple Pay and Siri on it - just a suggestion here, but it's probably not a good idea to be surfing any paid-content sites where the word 'yes' is used repeatedly... dare I ask if the watch has motion sensors which might be used to detect such erroneous acceptances...?"
According to Robots Read News, Apple advice against that for an entirely different reason.
OK... two scenarios here.
1. You still need your iPhone fingerprint censor to approve the payment, making the watch pointless
2. You can authorise a payment with the watch, as long as it is in range of the iPhone.
Am I the only one who can see just a tiny security flaw with scenario 2? Relieve a fanboi of two bits of shiny, and spend, spend, spend,
>Am I the only one who can see just a tiny security flaw with scenario 2?
No you're not, which is why it doesn't work like that.
The phone still requires a PIN or fingerprint to make a payment. The watch will make a payment as long as it hasn't' been removed from the owner's wrist since being paired to the phone.
"Am I the only one who can see just a tiny security flaw with scenario 2? Relieve a fanboi of two bits of shiny, and spend, spend, spend,"
You are the only one who can see a tiny security flaw, because there's a bit that you are missing: Paying with the watch only works as long as you wear it. Take it off, and you have to enter the PIN to pay. Which the thief wouldn't know.
18 hour battery life? Ah… No.
I wish them all the best of course. They've done no harm to me (or any of the haters here either), and I wouldn't wish failure on anyone (except Donald Trump. And anyone who makes Muzak. And… aw, shit. You got me. I do wish failure on quite a lot of people, but none of them in the tech business. Probably), but 18 hours?
When it can go for at least as long as a pebble it'll be worth reconsidering. When it can go as long as a Seiko Kinetic I'll stop considering and reach for my wallet. Until then, it's a statement of intent from Apple - and as much use as any Mk1 Apple product.
Interesting, by the way, that they didn't mention how waterproof it is. A 'sport' watch that can't go swimming ain't much of a sport watch.
"All Day" where "all day" is defined as 18 hours. My days are longer, as in I am awake longer than that.
I imagine the real world life is going to depend how much you use it. Arguably, it's pretty pointless, so it might well do. But so far the only people I've seen with "smart" watches, of any description seem to have them notify them of just about everything. Which means it won't last long.
Whilst there are undoubtedly fringe reasons for all the stuff it can do, I'm not sure it's so "useful" as pitched. Plus I wanna know... if the girl who left her key behind couldn't get into the garage or whatever it was, why didn't *she* have an Apple Watch to unlock it herself if they're so essential everyone has to have one (which is a paraphrasing of the way Apple promoted it).
NOT waterproof, from the Apple site, hidden down the bottom
"*Apple Watch is splash and water resistant but not waterproof. You can, for example, wear and use Apple Watch during exercise, in the rain and while washing your hands, but submerging Apple Watch is not recommended. Apple Watch has a water-resistance rating of IPX7 under IEC standard 60529. The leather straps are not water resistant."
Maybe waterproofing will come out in an OS update? They added that to the iPhone didn't they?
Apple's buyers have traditionally proven to be pretty insensitive to price. Indeed for some the high price is part of the appeal and Apple is certainly right to keep out of the bargain basement section. If any of the segments sell well then Apple stands to make a tidy profit. Otherwise it's likely to be forgotten quickly like coloured I-Phones.
That said, I personally think it's poo.
I believe the correct thing to shout into your wrist is: "KITT, I need you!"
Admittedly that needs to be a black digital watch, while wearing a black leather jacket, and talking to a black car. But I guess it explains the rumours that Apple are researching self-driving cars. There's no other reason to talk into your watch is there?
Taken from the Apple site:
Anodized aluminum. Designed to be uncommonly light and strong. (Erm... It's Anodized Aluminium and it's a common alloy invented a long long time ago!)
For Apple Watch, we created a new (No you did not!) alloy of 7000 Series (Mitsubishi A6M Zero used 7075 Aluminium in it's airframe in World War II) aluminum that’s 60 percent stronger than standard alloys. Yet it’s very light (Yet it's Erm... Aluminium, if it wasn't light I'd take it back). The Revolutionary Magical Apple Roundabout Has Surely Started!
I don't understand the point. I have a watch which lasts around 18 MONTHS on one battery, is waterproof to 100 meters and it tells the time, it costs a fraction of this ithing too.
I read somewhere that it can make phone calls... is that true or is it just a link to an iphone?
The rest of the apps seem trivial and/or pointless, just duplicating what you already have on your phone (is it so hard to take it out of your pocket and use it?)
I hope the Watch is a success, other than owning Apple stock of course, is that it'll really piss off all the haters. I have no desire for a smartwatch, at least not based on any of the lame attempts there have been so far, or what I know of the capabilities of Apple's. Maybe someday someone will surprise me with some functionality that makes me want one.
I remember all the wailing and gnashing of teeth after the iPhone was launched. Too expensive, too big, etc. When Jobs said that he hoped that someday Apple might have 1% of the worldwide mobile market how people laughed and laughed. In 2014 Apple had over 10% of the mobile market (not smartphone, overall mobile market)
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Apple really missed a trick here. They could easily have built wrist-operated charging into the watch and so negated the need for the daily battery charge. Could have called it the iWank.
Would have been one in the eye for Redtube, who now seem to have got their firm grip on the technology first.
edit
thinking about it......given the pointlessness of the watch and the mentality of those who are the targeted customer base, maybe thats still a valid name...
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Rii-iight. So my pitiful Gear2, which can send and receive emails, phone calls, check my heart rate and activity and on which I can display phone content, play games, operate IR remore operated devices, read notifications, play music from my phone or watch via bluetooth headphones and (if I had very much smaller eyes) play videos, which I could, as a last resort, even (and bear with me here) actually use to tell the time, was copied by Samsung, from the Apple Watch, and then transported in time through a wormhole so that Optus could give it to me two years ago?
Bloody fiendish, those Koreans, eh?
Why does one need a watch that performs the same basic functions as a phone as well as owning a phone to interface with ones watch. without one the other seems pointless. do you want to tell the time? - buy a watch. Do you want to make a phone call? - use a phone. do you want to check your calendar, use your watch....oh wait you haven't got your phone on you, ah well you can only tell the time then.....oh wait it's been 19 hours since you last recharged, in that case you can now neither tell the time nor check your calendar on your £18k diamond encrusted wrist tat. a £1 watch from tat land will still outlast this iwatch in terms of purely telling the time. it all strikes me as pretty pointless.
thank you for reading, you have a good day now.
thank you,
much love
peace out..
I think you, and several other commentators of an Android persuasion, are missing the point. This expensive thing is not especially about functionality (except for those who are worried about their health or obsessed with their fitness). It's about ergonomics.
I think the intention is that you can keep up with your online life by glancing at it, rather than having to fish around in your pocket and then authenticate on a phone to see what's coming in.
Typical El Reg commentators often focus on the hardware or back-end twiddling which they can't do. Apple has always been about the interface and convenience of use for ordinary people of their equipment.