Lipstick on the pig...
... springs to mind. Having now watched the Jazz demo I couldn't help but laugh out loud. IBM ALM tools really do suck!
IBM today launches the first products using its open-source Jazz project, extending real-time team collaboration across its own Rational tools and Microsoft's Visual Studio development suite. IBM is using its annual Rational Users' Conference in Orlando, Florida to announce pricing and availability for a swath of 22 products …
All these collaboration and team tools! Out lives are getting easier and easier, instead of thinking, planning, designing and developing, just push a button in a tool and if there still is a problem, push another button and problem is moved to someone elses plate! Life is too short to plan, design and develop, just use one of these great tools, don't get tired thinking on day, save that to the pub - think how much better your life will be! Oh, you don't like Clear...., why would you even care, now you can move your problem to build manager, resolution manager, build technician, build architect, product manager, deployment manager, delivery manager, or even to the poor systems architect who is responsible of the build scrips with on push of a button. Life will be great - sorry, I hate marketing!
Was mostly Clearcase. One group of teams had Perforce, and used it perfectly happily. The other teams used Subversion and then checked into Clearcase if they had to.
The management just didn't understand why the developers kept telling them that they would rather use post-it notes than Clearcase.
Paris, because she's slightly brighter than Clearcase.
Had to work with ClearCase for a while. Every boot, on Win2K, the "CC Doctor" service had to report on some asinine issue, never the same, that was causing CC to hang. Of course, there were 4 Windows services solely tasked with keeping this abomination running.
If you opened up CC, you were presented with like 20 or so tabs of incomprehensible UI mish-mash that was supposed to allow version control. Probably the worst interface design I have ever seen, should be used as an example in UI design courses. Didn't help that the powers that be thought each bug needing fixing by setting up its own private branch. Guess the CC documentation matches the UI and service robustness.
Being mostly a database developer, I cut a deal with my cubicle neighbor. I'd help him out with really hairy SQL and in return he'd check files in and out on his machine the 2 or 3 times a year I absolutely had to use CC.
Paris, because CC really makes her look like Einstein.