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back to article Need an EU grant? Call a Romanian witch

Any reader trying to secure an EU grant but finding the happy band of nations less than forthcoming with the cash is advised to get over to Romania, where supernatural help is at hand. Indeed, enterprising local witches have turned from their traditional pursuits of brewing love potions and the like, to helping businessmen …

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  1. Greg Nelson

    Double, double toil and trouble;Fire burn and cauldron bubble

    Shakespeare pretty much nailed it in Macbeth and so we know the usual stuff that goes into a cauldron. "Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,Witches’ mummy, maw and gulf Of the ravin’d salt-sea shark, Root of hemlock digg’d i’ the dark,"... etc, etc, etc. But what would go into the cauldron to secure a government grant?

    A swath cut from an Armani suit, a black faced Rolex, Box seat season's tickets to the Opera, your first born, all that and more boiling up in a stock of VSOP brandy. All the while incanting PE ratios, ROIs and calls for synergy.

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  2. Steve Roper

    The skeptics will have a field day with this!

    Cor blimey, wait until the James Randi Foundation hears about this one! Maybe these witches could go for the Million Dollar Psychic Challenge if they can prove their spells actually work... and possibly have James Randi's horde of empiricist skeptics hurling fraud suits at them if they don't!

    Not to mention, if the spells really did work, wouldn't that constitute some form of mind control? I wonder what the charges would be:

    a) Interference with a public official in the execution of his duties;

    b) Unlawful harassment;

    c)Assault with intent to defraud; or

    d)Terrorism?

    Place your bets, people!

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The witches are of "rrom" nationality, not romanian

    These so called "witches" are of "rrom" (gipsy) nationality, not romanian.

    Just an observation, not to be interpreted in any other way - they are still romanian citizens.

    They seem to flourish in here, there are enough uneducated and simply dumb people (of any nationality) to keep them in bussiness, and help them build another palace (the romanian gipsies have a really bad habit of building indian style palaces - basically, normal houses or villas, addorned with countless little spiraled towers, applied in an appaling display of bad taste).

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