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back to article Space station 'nauts will use URINE-FUELLED ESPRESSO MACHINE

A critical issue standing between humanity and its manifest future - that is to say, the availability of decent coffee in space - has been solved with the invention of an espresso machine which it's planned to send up to the International Space Station (ISS), groan-inducingly dubbed the ISSpresso. Italian astronauts Paolo …

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  1. Coen Dijkgraaf
    Joke

    Infinite Improbability Drive?

    I thought a good hot cup of tea is what you needed for interstellar travel.

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    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov
      Reply Icon

      Re: Infinite Improbability Drive?

      But not one coming out of a coffee machine!

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      1. Euripides Pants
        Reply Icon

        Re: Infinite Improbability Drive?

        "But not one coming out of a coffee machine!"

        It would be improbable...

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    2. Paratrooping Parrot
      Reply Icon

      Re: Infinite Improbability Drive?

      You do realise that you will render the ship useless as it's processing tea!

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    3. ACNherb
      Reply Icon

      Re: Infinite Improbability Drive?

      Rather than a good hot cup of pee, you mean?

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    4. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Infinite Improbability Drive?

      Presumably this will be big in the American market. They are already used to drinking piss from a bottle....

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      1. Euripides Pants
        Reply Icon

        Re: Infinite Improbability Drive?

        Not all necessarily, there are still plenty of of us who stick with vodka.

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  2. Mpeler
    Paris Hilton

    Almost, but not completely unlike....

    "The machine's saving grace may be that it is said to be capable of making other beverages, such as tea or even broth. The latter sounds rather sensible: a nutrient-rich capsule that could be turned into a simple meal sounds like a handy way to reduce the amount of food that needs to be hauled aloft. ®"

    Ah, yes, something that tastes almost, but not completely, unlike tea.....:)

    Or, to quote a long-extinct Bloom County comic strip: "In space, it's never Miller Time"....(problem with a carbonated beverage in a vacuum....unintended propulsion, etc.)...

    Paris, because she has espresso before prosecco, and her means of propulsion are often quite expensive too....

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    1. Mpeler
      Reply Icon
      Pint

      Re: Almost, but not completely unlike....

      On the other hand, it looks like Keurig may have beaten them to it (via Think Geek, erm, on 01.04....)

      Keurig K-cup™ 5-Star Meals... :) Gotta love them CornDogs....with a salad on the side...

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    2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Almost, but not completely unlike....

      There may be problems with carbonated beverages in the micro-gravity environment of the ISS, but if it's in a vacuum I'd say that's the least of the 'nauts' worries!

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  3. Chairo
    Pint

    Sounds good!

    Hot steam released in a confined space at zero gravity - what could possibly go wrong? That said, it is good to see, that the elementary needs are being taken care of. Diversity rules!

    Beer - hope they'll send a brewery up next time.

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    1. Martin Budden Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Pint

      Re: Sounds good!

      Beer - hope they'll send a brewery up next time.

      Bindun!

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  4. as2003

    I estimate that...

    ...sending 20kg by Falcon-9 to low Earth orbit (where the ISS resides) comes to about $80,000.

    I also estimate that the cost of an espresso from that machine would be comparable to London prices.

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    1. Mark 85
      Reply Icon

      Re: I estimate that...

      Ok.. $80,000 for shipping coffee maker/espresso machine. Kinda' pricey in my book (the shipping at least). So questions:

      Does it do latte?

      Figure $4000 per kg to ship one kg of coffee... French roast or Starbuck's finest?

      What do they do with the grounds? Send them back? Toss them out the window?

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      1. WraithCadmus
        Reply Icon
        Boffin

        Re: I estimate that...

        What do they do with the grounds? Send them back? Toss them out the window?

        Compost for the hydroponics obviously.

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        1. Anonymous Coward
          Reply Icon
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I estimate that...

          "Compost for the hydroponics obviously. " Unfortunately it sounds like its a 'pod' machine, so no composting here, just more plastic to throw away...

          What they really need is a decent bean to sippy-cup (well you cant use a normal cup) machine, then the grounds can be used for compost in experiments!

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      2. Irongut
        Reply Icon

        Re: I estimate that...

        "French roast or Starbuck's finest?"

        The point was to allow the 'nauts to make decent coffee. Why would they go anywhere near the swill that Starbucks laughingly call coffee?

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        1. Scroticus Canis
          Reply Icon
          Happy

          @Irongut - " the swill that Starbucks laughingly call coffee"

          Well they had to test the pISSpreso system somewhere! I also suspect that Baldric supplied the chocolate sprinkles.

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        2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
          Reply Icon
          Coat

          Re: I estimate that...

          Why would they go anywhere near the swill that Starbucks laughingly call coffee?

          They'll be using recycled piss, so they're already halfway therel

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  5. Kernel
    FAIL

    I don't think so.

    So what they've actually developed is a coffee capsule machine that works in zero gravity - not really got a lot to do with espresso, quality or otherwise, has it?

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Now

    If coffee scientists could just find there way to inventing a machine that means you can get a decent espresso in most high street coffee bars, then the world would be a happier place.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Now

      Its not just the machines, its the beans...

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  7. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Joke

    I await the arrival of the French.

    "You call this "French Roast"?"

    "No Monsieur, I call it the ISS"

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  8. PhilipJ

    ..and so they spent milions of euros developing an espresso machine that would work in space.

    Meanwhile, the Russians used a modified AeroPress.

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  9. baalel
    Facepalm

    In space...

    Surely the Vacuum coffee maker would be more appropriate?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vacuum_coffee_maker

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  10. Graham Marsden
    Boffin

    ISS 'nauts have long been drinking water recycled from their own urine

    As opposed to the inhabitants of Planet Earth who have been drinking water which has been recycled from urine for billions of years?

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  11. MrXavia

    Suppliers to Lavazza?

    So they still can't get a decent cup of coffee then....

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  12. The_H

    Coffee made with recycled urine... Certain freeze-dried instant manufacturers have been doing this for years. Admittedly, it might be cat urine they use, but the principle's the same.

    Certainly tastes like it, anyway.

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  13. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Why are they messing around with coffee?

    When they could be making a Lapsang Souchong machine?

    Just askin'...

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  14. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Tomorrow's coffee made from yesterday's coffee...

    Been drinking that for years, it's called office vending machine "coffee".

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  15. gskr
    Trollface

    Branding fail

    Was I the only one who saw the proposed name of this contraption (ISSpresso) and mentally add a "P" to the start?

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Branding fail

      I'm suprised that comment didn't get made sooner, to be honest, given the headline.

      Lavazza coffee already tastes like it's been made with urine, or worse... but I'm not sure if that's because it's bad coffee or just that the Italians keep all the good stuff for their own consumption and export the dregs to the UK.

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  16. ciaran

    What about the smell

    Generally they test anything they send to space to make sure it has no smell. Which generally means it has no taste either. Half the attraction of express is the aroma. Nice in the morning, but you probably wouldn't want it to hang around all day.

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  17. Steve Evans

    Recycled urine...

    So what... I'm sure being part of urine was one of the less offensive solutions some of those molecules of H2O have been through.

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  18. lotus49

    No-one should have to drink instant coffee. It's an abomination.

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  19. banjomike
    WTF?

    They must be expecting trouble...

    400 bar is 5800 pounds per square inch. Nespresso go up to 19 bar (with metal pipes).

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  20. JLV
    Coat

    PISSpresso then?

    I'll get me coat.

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  21. Zot

    So? Water on Earth is recycled.

    Now that's a lot of pissers from every species!

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