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back to article Smartphone sex apps will give you cupid's measles - study

Have you fondled your slab in the hope of finding sex with a handsome stranger? Then you may want to get down the clap clinic pronto, because people who seek sex using smartphone apps are more likely to catch a nasty STD. That's the key point from a new study of hookup apps like Tinder and Grindr. Bonk-mad boffins in Los …

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  1. Captain Hogwash

    That tricorder app can't come soon enough

    That is all.

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  2. Steve Todd

    Sounds like they've read the logic the wrong way around as usual

    The implication is that the kind of people who use these apps are more likely to engage in risky sex, meatspace or not.

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    1. Robert Helpmann??
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      Childcatcher

      Re: Sounds like they've read the logic the wrong way around as usual

      Or that use of these apps is more likely to get you laid.

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  3. 's water music

    network effect

    Well, at least once you visited the clinic it is easier to post a status update letting your buddies know that they should think about making an appointment for some ointment.

    's water music can haz chlamydia lol

    [x] like

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    1. Robert E A Harvey
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      Re: ointment

      As long as it's ointment you need, not oinkment

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  4. Crazy Operations Guy

    Way too much extrapolation

    The only conclusion i can draw from this study is: "there is a correlation in the few thousand gay and bisexual men we surveyed in LA that have gone to the clinic and use Grindr or Tinder have a higher chance of getting an STD"

    There is no evidence to point to this occurring elsewhere or amongst those that engage in sex with women. Hell, they didn't even rule out other demographic factors such as age, race, upbringing, etc.

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  5. Crazy Operations Guy

    A better App

    What I would like to see is the creation of an App like those mentioned except that in order to join, you must undergo regular STD screenings and next to the username something like "Clean as of %date%" and maybe a counter of how many partners since then (To indicate potential risk). With proper tracking in the App, you can send alerts to a users' previous partners in case in case they test positive for something. This way everyone stays safe while still remaining anonymous.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A better App

      That app has been known for a while.

      It is called regulated bordello and it usually has some trademark "red lights" on the "title page".

      If in doubt read Erich Maria Remarque's "Arch of Triumph" - that has a good description of the app operating model.

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      1. Crazy Operations Guy
        Reply Icon

        Re: A better App

        Yes, a well regulated bordello would work, but there are very few places in the world where such a thing is possible. With an App you can take part in this anywhere in the world as well as saving a lot of money. You also avoid nearly all of the problems with prostitution.

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  6. Mark 85
    FAIL

    The study is fatally flawed.

    They surveyed the study participants at an STD clinic. If you don't have an STD, then why go to the clinic? If you didn't go to the clinic, you weren't part of the study. Massive fail on their part.

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    1. P. Lee
      Reply Icon
      Holmes

      Re: The study is fatally flawed.

      I think you've read the study wrong. It wasn't to find out if you had an STD, but surveyed those with STD's to see where they picked up the ones who infected them - cyberspace or meatspace.

      It turns out anonymity encourages both risky and irresponsible behaviour and tech enables anonymity.

      I'm shocked!

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  7. Scroticus Canis
    Unhappy

    So not an onanist's app then

    From the title I thought Cupid's Measles would have been getting herpes on the hand from herpes on your genitals!

    Serious bit - these 'researchers' obviously never knew anyone from the gay scene back in the 70s. Had friends of that inclination (statable couples mostly) who would regularly go trolling for a bit of 'rough trade' at a London gay club called Heaven. Not one of them is alive today (no ARVs back then) which is a bloody shame as they were genuinely nice people and good friends.

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  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re. tricorder

    I suggested this as an add-on to newer phones, using the existing camera hardware LED with a casing including a variable aperture narrow band filter that causes the common STI bacteria to fluoresce.

    It also occurs to me that a possible workaround for many of the problems of conventional STI clinics is to have a basic test kit sent to a shared PO box with a unique code; this code unlocks the results for whoever happens to be associated with the number(s) so it is completely anonymous and secure.

    If the basic (much more sensitive) test kit detects something, then they go to the proper clinic knowing that they probably do have a problem.

    Would also allow detection of non pathogenic but problematic bugs such as strains of persistent thrush (guess what, this brought down many swinging groups not the clap as previously thought) as well as tracking of antibiotic resistant bacteria in the community.

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  9. Martin Budden Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    That's not a smartphone in the pic.

    What do you mean you didn't notice the phone?

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    1. skeptical i
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      Coat

      Nokia 3390 is good for what it is

      (mine worked fine for ten years before I upgraded to something with a camera), but it ain't hardly "smart" in the whiz-bang cellphone sense. Unless that's some other type of hardware that's happy to see me (and wearing a disguise so as not to frighten the children) ....

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  10. Amadan

    Male?

    Umm, if that's a bloke in the pic he's not the biggest of lads, is he?

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