back to article Crack CERT warriors arrive to save UK from grid-crippling hack attacks

The UK is finally getting a national Computer Emergency Response Team (CERT), with the delayed launch of the organisation taking place today. CERT-UK, a key component of the government's £650m National Cyber Security Strategy, will co-ordinate responses to hacking and malware-based cyber attacks on a national level. The …

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  1. JimmyPage Silver badge
    WTF?

    What's that sound ?

    It's snouts hitting troughs.

    1. charlie-charlie-tango-alpha

      Re: What's that sound ?

      Actually I doubt that they will be paid very much. UK Public servants rarely get rich.

      1. JimmyPage Silver badge

        Re: What's that sound ?

        Oh, I wasn't referring to the actually technical staff, who doubtless will be paid as close to NMW is a possible.

        I was referring to the possibilities for consultancies, and preferred bidders, and cozy firms like Capita, ATOS et al to get involved.

        1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
          Unhappy

          Re: What's that sound ?

          Quite true. You can tell because they used the prefix "Cyber"

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: What's that sound ?

            "Quite true. You can tell because they used the prefix "Cyber"

            Possibly, but mainly by the twice yearly skiing trips and shopping at Waitrose/Boden.

            Btw - there are probably very few UK national tech guys working there - the clue is the phrase 'recruitment issues' which indicates that the skiing Bodenites are recruiting through Tech Mahindra and such like.

        2. AlbertH
          Facepalm

          Re: What's that sound ?

          The sound was grasping hands rubbing together with a huge chorus of "Kerching!"

  2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    "director of e-Crime at Citigroup"

    Hmmm.

    The article does not clarify if that was preventing or committing.

    But C**ist on a bike it's been a f**k of a long time coming.

    As for £650m I think that's £5m for this and £645m to expand the GCHQ snooping systems.

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Wolfy_666

    Nice to see there website is down for maintenance already :-)

    1. JimmyPage Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Your subtle humour would have worked

      if you hadn't included the misspelt "there" (should be "their")

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Your subtle humour would have worked

        Ungrammatical as opposed to misspelt, shirley?

  5. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    An alternative view ... and not from some dark and dank cave somewhere foreign and alien

    If one were to discover that the UK is basically corrupt and the plaything of an elitist few who should know better but don't, to be involved in the defence and maintenance of established systems would be tantamount to criminal action and one being a paid accomplice. All the good guys and gals would be on the other side of the great virtual divide and duty bound to do their best to ensure that things fail catastrophically and one imagines the stupid ones at Millbank and the clever ones at Vauxhall* are taking good care of all of that to be part of the solution rather than a renegade problem.

    * As perceived to be the case and as shared in "Salting the Battlefied", the final part of the Worricker Trilogy ..... http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b03zk528/Salting_the_Battlefield/

    One cannot effectively defend unless one can stealthily attack in the cyber domain .... and that creates all sorts of enigmatic delights which challenge one with the greater intelligence of one's actions and possible future proaction's. IT be not for the faint hearted or unworldly wise or those who cannot handle vast riches as adeptly as a pauper handles poverty and deprivation.

  6. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Alert

    Give me

    the millions and I'll protect all of the UKs vital infrastructure against cyber attacks

    Stage 1. hire a few dozen techies

    Stage 2. send them to power stations etc

    Stage 3. Install dedicated phone lines to grid control

    Stage 4. Air gap the power stations control systems from the internet and any internal network

    Stage 5. Fill in all the USB slots with glue.

    That should cost 10 million in labour, and all the rest to my offshore account, at which point I'll resign and if it all goes wrong .. well I got my money so I'm ok

    1. TrishaD

      Re: Give me

      "Stage 1. hire a few dozen techies

      Stage 2. send them to power stations etc

      Stage 3. Install dedicated phone lines to grid control

      Stage 4. Air gap the power stations control systems from the internet and any internal network

      Stage 5. Fill in all the USB slots with glue"

      Dont suppose it occured to you that most UK utilities companies have already done that?

      The one I work for finished off protecting their power station systems a couple of years ago.

  7. AlbertH
    FAIL

    You can bet your bottom Dollar that those w*nkers will be using Windoze.

    Game Over before they even start!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This explains why the NHS are having to pay M$ for extended XP support - they were waiting for CERT to issue their latest "alert" about support running out next week, and now it's too late...

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