back to article Say WHAT? ATVOD claims 44k Brit primary school kids look at smut online each month

Online age verification is the Tory-led coalition government's latest obsession, after it lobbied hard for flaccid network-level filtering to be introduced by the UK's biggest ISPs over the course of the last few years. To support Whitehall's latest crusade against smut, Britain's video on demand services regulator is calling …

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  1. GettinSadda

    Does not add up!

    One in five teenage boys under 18 going online were clicking on porn websites from PCs, and one adult site [Pornhub.com, in case you were curious] – which offers free, unrestricted access to thousands of hardcore porn videos – attracted 112,000 of the teenagers.

    and

    She added: "Key among them is legislation to make it possible for the UK payments industry to prevent funds flowing from this country to websites which allow children to access hardcore pornography.”

    Something is not right here!

    1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

      Re: Does not add up!

      If you want people to be able to see your nookie, do you lock it behind a paywall, or do you make it open access? Pure simple unadulterated (oo-er) market forces guarantees that the majority of pron sites will not be behind any sort of wall.

    2. Anonymous Coward 101

      Re: Does not add up!

      My understanding is that free sites that have 'premium' sections that charge money (i.e. all of them) would be prevented from getting money from paying punters if they do not do age checks for the free stuff. So, do age checks or your business model goes up in smoke.

      As an aside, what's the big fucking problem with 15 year old looking at porn? Seriously?

      1. Eponymous Cowherd

        Re: Does not add up!

        "As an aside, what's the big fucking problem with 15 year old looking at porn? Seriously?"

        If its my 15 year old watching a video of a couple enjoying sex, then I don't have a problem.

        If its my 15 year old watching a video of a gang rape, then I have a big problem with that.

        Not all porn is made equal.......

        1. BlueGreen

          Re: Does not add up!

          > If its my 15 year old watching a video of a gang rape

          rape != sex. Very, very !=

          (edit: To the article author, and the reg in general, kindly stop referring to it as 'smut' or 'filth' etc., you sound like children yourself).

          1. VinceH

            Re: Does not add up!

            "To the article author, and the reg in general, kindly stop referring to it as 'smut' or 'filth' etc., you sound like children yourself"

            You've made almost a thousand posts, going back as far as 2008, and yet you sound like you're new here!

            Amazeballs!

          2. Eponymous Cowherd
            Thumb Down

            Re: Does not add up!

            "rape != sex. Very, very !="

            Where did I say it was?

            How about you try to read and understand what was said before replying?

            1. BlueGreen

              Re: Does not add up! @Eponymous Cowherd

              > Where did I say it was?

              I think it may have been your use of the word 'rape' that threw me there.

              But maybe a difference in meaning, too. I'd have thought that porn must have all its performers fully and freely consent to it by my definition, so anything with real rape, in my mind, is an act of violence not sex, therefore not porn. You may not agree...?

              Realistic *simulations* of rape, yeah, that would be classed as porn in my world, I understand these exist (never seen, never want to see) and I would never want a child to see it, along with a whole lot of other stuff (people can be soooo creative....)

              1. Eponymous Cowherd

                Re: Does not add up! @Eponymous Cowherd

                "Realistic *simulations* of rape, yeah, that would be classed as porn in my world, I understand these exist (never seen, never want to see) and I would never want a child to see it, along with a whole lot of other stuff (people can be soooo creative....)

                Which is the point I was making.

                The trouble is, the same sites that contain "nice" porn (people enjoying sex) also contain content depicting women being forced or tricked ( I.e raped) or treated violently. Yes I know this is simulated (or is supposed to be), but does that really matter when deciding whether you'd want your teenage son watching it?

                1. Graham Marsden

                  Re: Does not add up! @Eponymous Cowherd

                  So, as the Dutch realised a long time ago, the solution is to *EDUCATE* not to *LEGISLATE*!

                  Sex Education for Dutch children starts in primary school and results in much lower levels of teenage pregnancy and rape than countries such as the UK.

                  Of course the fact is that the Tabloids would explode with apoplexy were any UK government suggest such a thing here since teaching children about sex is obviously a Bad Thing and will only make them want to do it more...

        2. Fink-Nottle
          Facepalm

          Re: Does not add up!

          If its my 15 year old watching a video of a couple enjoying sex, then I don't have a problem.

          If its my 15 year old watching a video of a gang rape, then I have a big problem with that.

          The real problem is parents that don't know what their 15 year old's are doing.

          It annoys me that parents are not satisfied that the State contributes towards the upkeep of their offspring, but also expect the State to assume parental responsibilities.

          However ... Government cash would be better spent promoting GOOD PARENTING rather than unworkable schemes preventing underage access to adult content.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Does not add up!

        "what's the big fucking problem with 15 year old looking at porn?"

        When they start pressuring their 14 year old girlfriend with stuff like 'every girl does anal and facials'?

        Adults can (hopefully) be expected to differentiate between pornographic fantasy worlds and real life. Teenagers with little of the latter probably not so much!

        1. Mad Mike

          Re: Does not add up!

          "Adults can (hopefully) be expected to differentiate between pornographic fantasy worlds and real life. Teenagers with little of the latter probably not so much!"

          This rather suggests that people believe teenagers suddenly switch from pimply teenager who needs to be controlled and protected from such things, to full adult with all the knowledge etc. required to act responsibly overnight!! Where exactly is the cutoff point between adult and teenager? In reality, it is a gradual slope and teenagers need guiding down it. A job for parents and parenting, not something to be ignored or handed over to some sort content monitoring system.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Does not add up! - @Mad Mike

            Not so mad then, as that was a very sensible post.

            Some adults can't distinguish between fantasy worlds and real life (and unfortunately some of them get to be politicians or newspaper editors).

            The problem we face is that many adults can't talk sensibly to teenagers about sex either because they don't know how or because they do, but if they do the next thing is some newspaper will be accusing them of something awful. And this Mailification of Britain is what makes progress difficult.

        2. Ian_B

          Re: Does not add up!

          So, it's government policy to stop anal sex now is it? How does that fit with the "nothing wrong with gays" thing? The one that if you disagree with it, is something called "homophobia"? Or is it now fine to be gay, so long as you don't do the bumsex? Or is it now State policy to approve of male-male bumsex, but not male-female?

          Does any of this make the slightest bit of sense? It doesn't, does it?

    3. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Re: Does not add up!

      The argument presented on R4 this morning was the same one; there should be legislation requiring out-of-country websites to require age verification and that the lack thereof should somehow cause the income to these free sites to disappear.

      Quite how this would occur was not revealed despite the presenter's repeated questioning on this point.

      There is a point though: perhaps there is a need for a government database whose sole purpose is to say 'this person is over the age of 18'. I say government because I don't trust any of the big providers, but to be honest I don't trust the government that much either, but it could be done.

      For sure it should not be done by e.g. requiring a credit card or similar, and there's no need for it even to identify the person; the person involved supplies some token and the database says yea or nay.

      However, that's really just a thought as to how it might be done. To be honest I think there are two people responsible for what a child does online or anywhere else: the parents.

      Apropos of nothing, each and every person on the planet is the last in a line of ancestors each and every one of whom decided they were interested in sex... trying to ban it is like trying to ban the tide.

      1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

        Re: Does not add up!

        I know that "Parliament is Supreme" and can if it so chooses pass a law making it illegal to smoke on the streets of Washington DC, but how the hell do you enforce that law without invading the country in question?

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Does not add up!

          You would simply need to block all naughty sites coming into the country.

          Some sort of great firewall, perhaps the Chinese could bid on it.

        2. Matt 21

          Re: Does not add up!

          Even if you do accept the figures they are out of context. How many kids in my generation looked at porn in mags? I suspect the numbers haven't changed much.

          The other point is that if they already only accept payment (obviously some don't) then that means that parents are not only allowing their kids to look at porn but they're also allowing them to use their credit cards.

          Of course the other possibility is that these figures are grossly exaggerated and that most kids who do look at porn are looking at free porn, which means any plans to work with payments processors are so much rubbish........

        3. Lyndon Hills 1

          Re: Does not add up!

          I think what they're getting at is to persuade VISA etc, that if porn.us does not implement age checking then VISA UK should not allow this American site to accept money from UK punters using VISA as a payment method.

          They did something similar to the Russian MP3 site - I forget the name MP3ForAll.ru? - years back. They couldn't prevent them selling MP3s, but they could prevent people from paying for the MP3s using UK Credit cards. See also WikiLeaks.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Does not add up!

          August 24, 1814, Washington DC ;)

          1. FrankAlphaXII

            Re: Does not add up!

            Thing is, I'm pretty sure that the British were encouraging burning things at that point and anti-smoking legislation was not on the cards.

      2. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

        Re: Does not add up! @Neil Barnes

        I really like your apropos of nothing, but there could be exceptions due to in vitro fertilization, (and, dare I say it, rape).

        1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

          Re: Does not add up! @Neil Barnes

          @Peter Gathercole: Agreed, there are exceptions. But they're rare.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Does not add up!

      It doesn't matter if it adds up though, does it. t's just another gov-stimulated piece to get them re-elected by "protecting the kids of hard-working families against the evil lurking on the internets". And yes, it might have been conducted by an "independent" body (with its own interests to play), but I BET the idea came from the gov.

    5. intrigid

      Re: Does not add up!

      First of all, 1 in 35 elementary school kids view porn in a given month? I call bullcrap. 1 in 5 is a much more believable number.

      And I don't care if 9 out of 10 kindergarteners are getting the good stuff. It doesn't justify a shred of legislation.

  2. sisk

    Only 44,000?

    A couple years ago I read a study that originally had the goal of studying the effects of pornography on boys. They had to alter the study because they couldn't find any high school boys who hadn't been exposed to porn for their control group. They couldn't even find a single boy for the control group in six months in looking before they gave up. That speaks volumes to me.

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Only 44,000?

      The rest are net-savvy enough to hide their identity

  3. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    How the hell do they know???? To gather these sorts of statistics at some point the user is going to be asked how old they are, and so of course they are going to say they are over 18, 'cos if they don't any website that *does* ask how old they are that's the only way they're going to get at the content.

  4. mmiied

    1 in 16 boys? seams low

    that is all I got to say

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: 1 in 16 boys? seams low

      At one point long ago I was a teenage boy and, before the Internet, we had these things called "magazines". Tatty, torn and old they may have been, but every boy had access to them somehow - either through raiding sibling's or even parent's collections or friends who had.

      Most of us survived to be relatively normal despite this level of smut in the formative years of our youth.

      1. Tom 7

        Re: 1 in 16 boys? seams low

        There's an name in the profanisaurus for the bag of porn found under a hedge. Buggered if I can find it though - fun looking! But I do recall this being a common find as a brat.

        1. VinceH

          Re: 1 in 16 boys? seams low

          'Hedgeporn' ?

      2. NogginTheNog
        Thumb Down

        Re: 1 in 16 boys? seams low

        Oh come on: the sort of dog-eared top-shelf muff magazines we used to have in our yoof are light-years away from the kind of hard core easily accessible online nowadays.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: 1 in 16 boys? seams low

          Oh come on: the sort of dog-eared top-shelf muff magazines we used to have in our yoof are light-years away from the kind of hard core easily accessible online nowadays.

          Which is why back in our youth we had to supplement it behind the bike sheds.

          Seriously, I don't understand the rush to go back to those days.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Nick Ryan - Re: 1 in 16 boys? seams low

        Wrote :- "before the Internet, we had ... "magazines". ...every boy had access to them somehow -...Most of us survived to be relatively normal despite this level of smut in the formative years of our youth"

        That magazine stuff was nowhere near as strong as what can now be seen on the web. What I saw (Playboy, Penthouse etc) depicted the girls as graceful, virginal and as inaccessible as marble statues.

        As for being "relatively normal", what is your benchmark ? Sexual practices have changed enormously in a generation - what was normal then is not normal now, and vice-versa, for better or for worse I'm not saying. In that time gay sex and anal sex have been legalised, high-street brothels have become commonplace, escorts advertise widely in the local paper and on the web, and dating sites advertise on TV. I would suggest that some of the change, if not most of it, has been driven by harder pornography.

        One effect of seeing beautiful girls (the likes of which I never had the luck to meet in real life) being shagged (usually by revolting old men) is maybe to make men open their eyes to possibilities, be less satisfied with their own GF's/wives, and to realise that such girls can be found and can be bought. Then maybe to visit escorts or brothels themselves - hence the increased number and higher profile of them. Certainly those girls do interesting things that my wife would never do; it's tempting I must say.

        1. Lars Silver badge
          WTF?

          Re: @Nick Ryan - 1 in 16 boys? seams low

          "anal sex has been legalised". Sounds funny, legalised by who, as far as I remember, according to the Kinsey report every second woman who has tried it likes it. Disclaimer, my is out only. Wonder if this icon is legalised and why is this damned spell checker is against legalised too.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 1 in 16 boys? seams low

      I suspect the girls are watching just as much porn, but are better at hiding it...

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A TV person trying to tell us all not to use the internet and to be really scared of it

    Wonder what people should do instead?

    Oh I see it now

  6. WonkoTheSane
    Childcatcher

    Fee! Fi! Foe! Fums!

    I can smell a Net of Mums!

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: Fee! Fi! Foe! Fums!

      I think we need a Register Standard Unit for this?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Fee! Fi! Foe! Fums!

        I propose the MILF :)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Time to invest in Bitcoins?

    This proposal should do wonders for payment providers our idiot politicians can't lean on.

  8. A Non e-mouse Silver badge
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I work at a school, and that comic is basically accurate. We've managed to keep the porn mostly at bay, but it's taken some draconian measures, and some still gets through.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    And yet....

    ..countries such as France and Holland that have easier access to "smut" and have far more relaxed attitudes to sex in general have lower teenage pregnancies.

    Go figure...

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: And yet....

      ..countries such as France and Holland that have easier access to "smut" and have far more relaxed attitudes to sex in general have lower teenage pregnancies.

      Go figure...

      Yes, but pandering to parents that don't parent and to pretend that sex and nudity do not have a place in a modern, upstanding society is a wonderful way to appeal to idiots. Or "voters" as the politicians like to refer to them.

      1. Vimes

        Re: And yet....

        Come to think of it, where are the parents in all of this? And why on earth are 6 year olds using the internet unsupervised?

        We jail parents when their kids start truanting, so why shouldn't they be jailed for something that seems to amount to child abuse?

        1. Mad Mike

          Re: And yet....

          @Vimes.

          Not sure where the downvote comes from.

          Surely, parents should monitor and control what their children do in a manner consistent with their age. Therefore, if they're very young, the control and monitoring is high and becomes less as they get older? Therefore, I would have thought a child of 6 would be heavily monitored and controlled, especially in areas such as the internet.

          If you failed to control your child and they ran into the road and were injured, I imagine people would be appalled and maybe social services involved if it happened enough. So, what's the difference with them being injured (albeit in a different way) through looking at inappropriate website content?

          Maybe if parents took more responsibility (in many areas, not just internet), a lot of problems in society at the moment would reduce. Some children get taken away for what some people consider relatively minor 'offences' and yet they can't get taken away because their parents are allowing them to watch hardcore porn at the age of 6? Something wrong there.......

          1. Mad Mike

            Re: And yet....

            Another thumbs down!!

            Presumably, we have at least one or two parents on here who don't want to exercise proper control over their children and to be held accountable for exercising that control.

            Anyone who thinks they should be able to sit their child down on a computer on the internet and not control what they do in some way appropriate to their age has obviously abdicated parental responsibility and therefore should not have children!! Probably the same parents who abdicate parental responsibility onto teachers (and society in general) as well.

            1. This post has been deleted by its author

          2. Richard 22
            Stop

            Re: And yet....

            I assume that the downvotes were because of the implication in the comment that the research in any way proved that 6 year olds were looking at porn. Even if the figures are accurate, they are for the 6-11 age-range. It's highly likely that most if not all of those would be at the upper end of that range (10/11 year olds).

            And their surveying techniques have to be called into question. They indicate the figures are partially drawn from tracking online usage - how do they know who was using the computer? How do they know it wasn't an older sibling or their Dad (surely not).

        2. mmiied

          Re: And yet....

          as a 15 or 16 year old I would expect to be treated as at least mostly an adult and with anything like any sort of freedom getting porn an't hard and never has been it is just now it comes in the form of a screen not a paper mag

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: And yet....

            You forget that 16yr olds can legally have sex and get married (with permission).

            Sadly a good number will fumble around until they can legally access pron at 18. What a load of mixed up rules we have. Mind you, it ain't half as bad as the USA when you can be labelled a sex offender simply for being seen having a pee in public.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: And yet....

      The lower rate of teenage pregnancy in Holland and France is probably related to all that anal and facials they learnt from the interwebs.

  10. Chewy

    So

    So they expect foreign companies that run the websites to apply for some kind of license. And what kind of penalties do they expect to be levied on foreign businesses that don't comply? All they'll do is block IP address ranges.

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

      Re: SexEd

      Absolutely - I believe that the "age" was 16 when I was a kid back in the 60's and I can assure you that underage sex was really quite fun ... of course we didn't really know how to do what we were doing in all the enjoyable ways that I figured out later on in life but at least we made an effort.

      Sex Ex for my generation was simply passed on in the Biology Class with the teacher ending the class with, "And you'll be sad to hear that there will be no homework tonight"

  12. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Perverts or crooks

    As usual, as soon as any lobby group mentions children you can be sure they are lying.

    In this particular case it is either designed to pursue some perverted social engineering idea in the hope that the number of adults looking at porn will be reduced if they had to submit to identity checks; or is a simple corrupt lobbying on behalf of that part of the adult industry that wants to kill free porn sites and force everyone to pay them instead.

    The former is a form of perversion, which afflicts politicians and where they get their kick out of causing grief to other people, the latter is self explanatory.

    In any case, this has nothing to do with welfare of children (16 or 17 yo - children, eh??). Quite the opposite, preventing them from access to porn will lead to increase in sexual violence, unwanted pregnancies, STDs etc.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The usual bandwagon jumpers and vested interests are popping up in this one but, unlike in the video I saw on the internet last night, I didn't see these guys coming.

    I am guessing that the ATVOD are recommending that a body with suitable experience in the field should regulate the age verification scheme. A body like, oooh, say...ATVOD?

  14. wolfetone Silver badge

    When I was at school

    There was a boy in our year who claimed he had sex with a Sixth Former.

    We were in Year 8.

    Being creative with the truth when you're a boy at school when it comes to sex? Nothing changes.

    1. Mad Mike

      Re: When I was at school

      Yes indeed. I really am at a loss to understand how these figures are obtained and the probable margin of error in them. We all know that teenage boys will tend to boast about their antics and teenage girls will often downplay them. I would have thought that most 6 years olds would wonder what you were on about and would probably wonder what porn was if they found it. Probably think it's two people fighting!!

      This is really all about adults putting their sexual beliefs and attitudes on people who don't have those thoughts at the moment. I always remember when very young boys in the playground would go round lifting up girls skirts (I'm talking about 6-8 years old). All they knew was that the anatomy was different. There was nothing sexual about it, as they were nowhere near old enough to have that sort of thought. Yet, when the parents arrived, some would go ballistic, screaming about sexual assault etc.etc. No, it's just kids doing what they've done for years. Nothing sexual about it at all. And you thinking it is sexual just shows how poor a parent you are (unable to put yourself in your childs position) and more to the point, how your mind works around sex.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @Mad Mike .... When I was at school

        You wrote: "...I always remember when very young boys in the playground would go round lifting up girls skirts (I'm talking about 6-8 years old). All they knew was that the anatomy was different. There was nothing sexual about it, as they were nowhere near old enough to have that sort of thought. Yet, when the parents arrived, some would go ballistic, screaming about sexual assault etc.etc....."

        Yes. And if that had been your daughter, so would you have done ... Especially if she didn't want to go to school for a while after .... Would that be so hard to understand ?

        Sorry, but .... needed saying ....

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @Mad Mike .... When I was at school

          As a father of daughters, all of whom have turned out, if not normal, at least educated, employed, married and with kids, I think I have a bit more sense than to go ballistic, start screaming etc. about what children get up to in playgrounds. A calm, rational approach is always better and is far less likely to result in a traumatised child, just as having a child hanging around a parent frothing at the mouth about paedophilia is more likely to be counter-productive than not.

          Bad things happen; when it's adults that do them they should be locked up where they can no longer do harm. But children need to be desensitised rather than made hysterical.

        2. Mad Mike

          Re: @Mad Mike .... When I was at school

          @AC

          "Yes. And if that had been your daughter, so would you have done ... Especially if she didn't want to go to school for a while after .... Would that be so hard to understand ?

          Sorry, but .... needed saying ...."

          Sounds like you're the kind of parent we need to deal with. It's happened and I didn't do anything than sit down with my daughter and explain the situation. Yes, I asked the school to keep an eye on it, but certainly didn't go in shouting and screaming and making complaints etc.etc. And in return, the school did a good job and appreciated my calm manner and conversations with them. In fact, it was them who told me about the 'other parents'.

    2. Rich 11

      Re: When I was at school

      If that was at a boarding school he'd be more likely to claim not to have had sex with a Sixth Former.

  15. Frumious Bandersnatch

    44k Brit kids look at smut online each month

    Ergot, we should install filtering or something?

    1. Oliver 7

      Re: 44k Brit kids look at smut online each month

      If you have ergot, you should give it a good wipe-down with an anti-fungal cleaner!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 44k Brit kids look at smut online each month

      Then you need a Catcher in your Rye ;)

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ATVoD - dead wood

    Where to start with ATVoD... they're "not a censorship body" but they evidently want to regulate access to content. Huh?

    They want access to be regulated "the same as in the physical world, like adult shops" - so that means local councillors approving what web-sites I can see?

    They are working in accord with a European directive (presumably EC on protection of minors) so they have the right to regulate web-sites abroad. But I don't see anything on how they are going to enforce any reciprocal requests for video regulation from other countries (Turkey? China?). Or indeed any mention of anything other than porn.

    They want to regulate where the money flows - but absolve those with the closest financial control i.e. the connection bill payer (which means the parents who buy their kids the media devices) of any responsibility because a few of them can't be trusted. But they're not the nanny state.

    Well to me they look like the same old band of prudes who fall on any new medium and attempt to suffocate it with the dead hand of bureaucracy because it lets the light in on things they don't like.

  17. RobHib
    Happy

    My how things change....

    When I was in primary school quite some years ago, I recall that in the middle of a class the female teacher catching me and a few other boys swapping bubblegum cards which had highly respectable photos of female movie stars. (Swapping bubblegum cards was a popular pastime with kids back then.)

    When she saw what the cards were, she said to us 10-11 year-olds in a most sarcastic and criticising voice "you're all the most filthy-minded disgusting little boys I've ever seen". She then tore the cards to shreds and threw them in the bin.

    Well, there you are. It's official, I'm still a filthy-minded disgusting little boy, who's just a bit bigger now.

    1. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance
      Coat

      Re: My how things change....

      They certainly do.

      Then you got it for free.

      Now you have to pay good money to be talked to like that!

      1. RobHib

        @Bradley... -- Re: My how things change....

        Now you have to pay good money to be talked to like that!

        Ha! Funny, but I remember that incident as if it were yesterday. The reason it's still so clear in my mind is that even at the time I couldn't for a moment comprehend what she was fussing about, it was a total non-event as far as we boys were concerned (the cards were 'clean', just miniatures of the studio's PR shots and we boys knew this, even at 10 or 11).

        Of course, it would have made total sense (and by now I'd probably have long forgotten the incident), if she'd just said "boys, give me those cards and pay attention to what I'm saying, you can't have them back until after school."

        1. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance
          WTF?

          Re: @Bradley... -- My how things change....

          -----------

          if she'd just said "boys, give me those cards and pay attention to what I'm saying, you can't have them back until after school."

          ------------

          Ooh stop it. You're making me all tickly!

          I dunno.

          Maybe like the Catholic Church. Such a strict Disci(whack)pline!

          One day you crack.

          Let it all out brother. Let it flow. Let it all go. I'd trust my daughter (I don't have a daughter btw) with a hippy before a Catholic Priest. No offense to Catholic Priests...

          But yeah, let's not be too sensible about this. You were saying..

          "you can't have them back until after school."

          Not unless you do something very very naughty, I mean, fuck, sorry, finish your homework, that was it, same thing, what the fuck?

          :-)

          The Reg is becoming more debased by the day. Nothing to do with my mind. Stop it now! Pics or STFU. Shit, did I just say that. I'm out of control. I'm like a naughty little fluffy rabbit that needs to be...

          Oh jesus, just shoot me now!

          Can't you see what they have done to our minds?

    2. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance
      WTF?

      Re: My how things change.... Take 2

      "you're all the most filthy-minded disgusting little boys I've ever seen"

      Maybe the little minx got off on it?

      She knew what she was doing!

      Can you imagine a Male teacher getting away with that today?

      "you're all the most dirty little disgusting tarts - look at you all! just gagging for it. short little skirts. can't get enough can you? I'm going to give you all a ruddy good spanking!"

      One law for them and one for us. Sex discrimination is what it is!

      1. RobHib

        @Bradley.... -- Re: My how things change.... Take 2

        Maybe the little minx got off on it?

        That was the other strange part about it, she was a smart, intelligent middle aged, with-it woman who had two boys of her own at the same primary school. She was one of our best teachers, perhaps that's why the incident is so memorable.

        Of course, you're correct about today. I'm damn glad I'm not a teacher, let alone a primary school one.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @Bradley.... -- My how things change.... Take 2

          We had an English teacher trying to get us to do spelling tests with things like "promiscuous"' in it, I think he was either winding us up or mildly satirising our main interests :)

  18. Irongut

    So where is the age verification on Freeview channels like Babestation? UK children can see women and gay men wobbling their arses and taking their tops off free on national television. How is that right but internet porn is wrong?

  19. Truth4u

    Someone ought to tell these kids

    Their parents may not mind what they're doing, but GOD and the government think their behaviour is evil and disgusting and has to stop.

    1. Lars Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Someone ought to tell these kids

      Have to give you an up vote to counter the down vote as I believe I can see the sarcasm.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Attempted power play. Poorly attempted.

    Just add a line into sex ed:

    "Porn is sex for the camera, not real life."

    Then maybe point the kids here:

    http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-parts-sex-porn-doesnt-prepare-you-for/

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    someone was spying on these kids ?!?!?!

    <quote> The watchdog, [via] Nielsen Netview, cobbled together its figures after using tech similar to that employed to measure television audiences.

    It was then able to snoop on the activities of a panel of around 45,000 UK netizens. ATVOD said the data didn't rely simply on what children said they did online, but instead by quietly "tracking and recording" their movements. <\quote>

    How ?? With a helping hand (sorry !) from GCHQ ?!? There's more that Ed Snowden hasn't been telling us, then ....??? But seriously, how did they ethically snoop on these kids ?

    1. Mad Mike

      Re: someone was spying on these kids ?!?!?!

      So, they put something like monitoring software on various PCs in the home and monitor usage. This presumes the person logged on (if there's even a concept of logging on) is really using their own account. As the people being studied are children, I assume it's fair to assume the parents (and possibly others) have their passwords?

      So, two questions come to mind. Firstly, what is the reaction of the parents when they're told little Johnny and little Alice are watching porn? (Father/mother looks embarrassingly to the heavens?). Secondly, when they look at the second tranche of data, is little Johnny no longer looking at porn as the parents are now aware? Even if they make the information anonymous, it makes clear suggestions as to peoples childrens usage, or does each parent assume it is other peoples children?

    2. Cpt Blue Bear

      Re: someone was spying on these kids ?!?!?!

      Its probably done through Nielsen Netratings. It sends usage data based on clicks and links (or at least it did a few years back when I first encountered it and ran some basic traffic analysis - it may be more sophisticated now but I seriously doubt it). I have it running on a couple of test boxes at work and every year around November they send me a store card for a few hundred dollars which goes toward the end of year piss-up (market research funds alcohol consumption). Christ alone knows what sort of data they get from those machines.

      The point is, I don't see any way they can tie this to user age except for the sign-up questionnaire. Having seen it from the test subject side of the fence I would take any results with a whole bucket load of salt.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Holmes

    So, add the site addresses to Old Cockwomble's 'Nanny-says' block list

    And they instantly disappear from all decent and upstanding households.

    Job done. Sit down. Shut up. Fuck off.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    OMG!

    ATVOD commissioned Nielson Netview to spy on CHILDREN while they ogle pron? Seriously? Surely some law has been broken here!

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Someone is missing.....

    Matter of time before Dave's top advisor on all things that corrupt innocents, the legenary 'Member' for Devizes, Claire Perry MP, smells this story. Children are clearly watching pron on the interwebs, and Claire is not getting any votes from old ladies in Wiltshire because of it.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pfwoooooar!

    I was sexually active as young as 7-8. I can't say that it made me into a monster (well now that I look in the mirror). Anyhow. Adults can be really childish it seems. It's like everyone wants to turn a blind eye to the fact that sex is built into our genes and even children can be sexually active. Even if they don't really understand what it is. It just feels good - I would browse Kays catalog for the underwear section not really knowing why that tingly feeling felt good and oft could be found behind the bike sheds fooling around (use your imagination). All this crap about a cutoff age where suddenly you become a fully, sexually aware entity is delusional. By the time I had sex ed I was already mostly aware of what it was and how it worked.

    Yes folks your little angels really do have genitals and hormones and desires. It's *YOUR* responsibility to make sure you monitor your children when and where you can for such things and to teach them how to behave in a civil manner. Just like that puppie rubbing up against the stuffed teddy bear.

    This is just another way for the government to exercise control over the plebs - The brainwashed Mirror brigade - gain a few more votes from middle Englend and for another company to try and drum up some business.

    Dick heads the lot of them!

  26. Vociferous

    FFS Britain, you didn't used to be this prissy.

    What happened? It's like I don't even know you any more.

  27. Lars Silver badge
    Boffin

    Smut

    What the hell, I still enjoy being number 6 or 9 or any possible variation of any number. Where the hell did this obsession in finding smut in our bodies come from. From religion, of course, what is good for me, and sin, is very bad for you, especially for you. I cannot find any largely offending smut looking (without a mirror) at me, nor anything largely interesting either. Having explored a wife or two, not to mention all the girlfriends, I have found no smut either, rather astonishing and nice stuff. Something odd here, what if the British Museum decided to reveal all the "smut" in the stolen stuff from Egypt, I think they are called penises or something. Would that disturb me, probably yes, I am modern too, and size matters. But would not a more practical look at facts among priests and our religion have made male child abuse less common among the strong priests in their belief who find a cunt or the luck of one as smut.

    Nobody is as obsessed with sex (smut) as the church, and I can understand the reasons for it but as long as it is like this, the church has to go as far as I am concerned.

    Lets move the "smut" word into a more appropriate use.

  28. BenBell
    WTF?

    Small question from a big idiot?

    How do these people figure out which visits are the kid and which are the dad?

    How would Pornhub know the age of the person sat at the PC?

    I know analytics and such like are good these days - but seems a little far fetched to me.

    1. Allan George Dyer

      Maybe they turned on the webcam remotely...

      as therefore have a collection of videos of people enjoying porn to watch and classify?

  29. Chris G

    Confusion

    The age of majority in the UK may be 18 but it is still possible to get married ( and presumably have children) at the age of 16 with parental consent.

    The article goes on in a worried tone about the number of boys under 18 that they think are viewing porn. Do they want people old enough to marry and have children to enter marriage as complete novices with no understanding of how to interact sexually with each other? Because that is part of the problems that used to occur in the good old days when people had all kinds of hang ups with sex, guilt or thinking it's dirty but in spite of that their priest/vicar wants them to have children, maybe that is what is driving these do gooders, they had repressive sexual upbringings so they think every one else should.

    The other confusing thing is, do they really discount the likelyhood of teenaged girls looking at porn or is it only boys who are filthy and disgusting.

    Next they'll be asking to bring back the birch to give 'em all, a sound flogging!

    With or without the rubber suit!

  30. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance

    someone was spying on these kids ?!?!?!

    For Mad Mike. (Don't know why they call you Mad Mike - don't want to know - any friend of Big Herb's is a friend of mine). Anyway..

    I was thinking this the other day when I was studying Wolfsbane or Monksbane poisoning. Aconitum poisoning actually. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aconitum

    I was like, how the fucking bejeseesus do dey know dat, if dey never put a man tru dat in der life, like. Fooking crikey moses...

    And after 24 seconds, the man will start to convulse. After 40 seconds he will turn purplish, but maybe what some will call a slight shade of blue, perhaps green. After 60 seconds he will call for his mother...

    By jeebers. Did they get all this from the side notes of a Doctor?

    It sounds like they side tracked a ship to australia with big strapping lads and fed them a whole load of horse shit, I mean, Wolfs Bane. Monks Hood. Did you know it is the main food of the British Bumble Bee? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombus_consobrinus

    I shit you not.

    Ah, go ahnn... Ah've anudut cup a' Wolf's Bane!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogrfAgbIfFo

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MVRonuW608

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJyGxRC8i68

    1991

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekXHe4xdhjE

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aatlliinymw

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Filter the net

    Then burn down the woods!

    Stop the prons!!!!

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Porn is only a problem because these hypocrites made it one!

    Having a corrupt government crying about this now is such a f'ing pathetically hypocritical, archaic cliché!

    Porn, and other Drugs would probably not be so popular if TPTB and their created "Socialism" cults, especially Communism, had not corrupted the Western education system etc., starting in the early 20th century, and really becoming blatant in the 1970's, to arrogantly try and make compliant wage slaves; see US take at http://www.deliberatedumbingdown.com/ (by a Skull & Bones daughter).

    A lot of people were not given a solid set of values by the corrupted schools, and cop-out parents, or they know about this corruption, so just don't care what the government says now.

    The internet is doing what the military designed it's prototype to do, to circumvent barriers so that information can flow freely, including including Porn, and leaks. Education has always been the parent's responsibility; so the government should just get honest fast, kill off /all/ Socialist ideology in the education system, give power back to parents, and let the surge ebb on it's own.

    Maybe some balance will arise in a future generations, after the education system has been sanitised.

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: Porn is only a problem because these hypocrites made it one!

      So it was Karl Marx who invented porn?

      Thank's for clearing it up! Always learn something new on teh internets....

  33. ecofeco Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Bullcrap? This is bullcrap

    "One in five teenage boys under 18 going online were clicking on porn websites from PCs"

    No way is the number THAT low in that age group.

  34. Michael 28

    Think the atvod is being disingenuous here.

    The purpose of a regulator is to..er..regulate. Unfortunately what a lot of the old-school pornographers have been doing recently is getting published in Stubbs gazette and getting proper jobs...sort of.(Simon Lindsay honey is not a good actor/musician/comedian). So...what to do.

    I have a policy on the internet and porn. Anyone who says there is too much is usually in the "old biddy" camp or the "old pornographer"camp.

    The old biddies (sorry-Aesthetically sensitive) are a mixed bunch, anything from" won't someone please think of the children " to the stabby types that get frisked for gloss emulsion by security at art galleries when a Rubens is showing. Picasso painted nudes specifically to piss these people off.

    The old pornographers complained about their lost revenue stream and how much nicer their business model was before this internet thing came along. A good old witch hunt is what we need. Bypass the old competition act and get ourselves regulated but negotiate a nice fat margin.

    1. Michael 28

      Re: Think the atvod is being disingenuous here.

      Incidentally, any conversation with an <cough> Aesthetically sensitive individual involves a half hour monologue ending with ..."and that's why I don't have an internet connection".

      Self-managing problems! Liking it very much.

      Old pornographers are busy on youtube looking at videos on VCR operation.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=md9fXOUQ6Bg

      Also, here's a gratuitous link to one of my favourite Picasso's :

      Enjoy, but take your hands out of your trouser pockets.

      http://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/picasso-nude-woman-with-necklace-t03670

      also... for the surrealists

      http://www.dorotheatanning.org/life-and-work/view-work/work-98/

  35. hoola Silver badge

    Age verification, an ongoing issue

    This is an increasingly difficult area to police. IT is easy to blame everyone else but everything to do with age ratings is ignored by many parents or the kids themselves.

    There are thousands of accounts on Facebook and other social networking site that belong to children. They have either lied about there age (nothing to stop this) with the consent of the parents or the parents have are oblivious and do not care.

    It is the same with games and DVDs. My son feels left out at school because he does not have Halo. This game is totally unacceptable for 12 years olds but the parents do not care. It is all part of the desensitisation of society and complete shirking of parental responsibility. This goes back at least one generation and may be two. How you solve it I do not know. The big website and internet companies simply do not care as it is all money. The fines levied if they do fall foul of a law are so tiny as to be complely ineffective. If parents are so irresponsible as to not care or actively encourage the behaviour then it is left to the state to put the controls in place. Communisum anyone?

  36. Zog_but_not_the_first

    Just the facts ma'm

    Are there any proper peer-reviewed studies on the effects of porn against which to measure these pronouncements? They may be right, or they may not be right, but how do we know?

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