back to article NZ bloke's drunken poker bet ends in 99-letter name

A New Zealand lad is finally feeling the full effect of a lost poker bet some five years after he was obliged to change his name to "Full Metal Havok More Sexy N Intelligent Than Spock And All The Superheroes Combined With Frostnova." According to the New Zealand Herald, the 22-year-old Normanby local duly registered his new …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Vanity Names !

    Ha! after Vanity Plates for your car, Vanity Names for your passport - a new idea to fill in the UK budget deficit before you have time to spell a 99 letter surname.

    After all meeeelions of Chavs and Chavettes on the streets more than ready to spend their dole money to be called "Mr Strong Arms S*x Machine", "Miss Classy Diamonds of Beauty".....

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Vanity Names !

      "After all meeeelions of Chavs and Chavettes on the streets"

      I see you are using the last refuge of cowards and bullies.

      All your usual insults are not useable in comments sections?

      Anyway, the cost of personal plates takes them out of the realms of the poor and in to those of the fairly well off. Ever looked at prices?

      1. AMBxx Silver badge

        Re: Vanity Names !

        Elmer Phud:

        ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

        Are you one of those miserable, badly dressed LibDems?

      2. Suricou Raven

        Re: Vanity Names !

        If they were cheap, no-one would want one.

      3. Psyx

        Re: Vanity Names !

        " Ever looked at prices?"

        Yes, and they start at a couple of hundred quid. Hardly bank-breaking.

    2. MJI Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Vanity Plates !

      You have it the wrong way round, you change your name to your cars registration number.

  2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

    Violence?

    Is an awesome name.

    1. S4qFBxkFFg

      Re: Violence?

      Well, there is a tradition for naming girls after virtues, so in the opposite case, logically...

      (Terry Pratchett thought of it before I did.)

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Violence?

        Ah yes, Bestiality Carter & siblings

    2. VinceH

      Re: Violence?

      "Shut up or piss off!"

      "Oh, that's not very nice!"

      "No, those are the two names I'm considering. They'll be very handy in later life for getting into fights and things."

      (Or something like that.)

      1. the spectacularly refined chap

        Re: Violence?

        "Shut up or piss off!"

        Don't forget the big, bad, "I said NO!"

  3. Mark 85
    Pint

    The Name Game.

    This should be great fun. I've got me popcorn and now to see what the commentards come up with.

    Ok... beer than since there's no popcorn icon!!!!

  4. RAMChYLD

    Well

    Fullmetal Havok is a good name for a rock band tho.

    Or a metal band.

    However, Beauty Blossom is a valid name for Chinese girls (provided that it's a hepburn transliteration of the original Chinese pronounciations). If the court blocked that, it would be just wrong.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      FTFY

      If the court blocked that, it would be just wong.

    2. Cheshire Cat

      Re: Well

      If my Mandarin is still working, then "Beauty Blossom" would be rendered as "Mei Hua" in Beijing. A perfectly valid name not expected to raise eyebrows (but then, "Y Pong" is also a valid girl's name in Mandarin, so...)

      Our kids' Mandarin names are "Joy of dawn's first light" and "Harmonious intra-personal relationships". They're more snappy in Mandarin, though.

  5. Ketlan
    Happy

    Worra laff

    Bizarre that Talula Does The Hula is deeply frowned upon (I thought it was quite sweet) while Number 16 Bus Shelter is approved. It's a very peculiar world.

    Mind you, this is from someone who named his youngest son Henry William Twelve Minutes (perfectly legally in the UK) in celebration of the twelve minutes it took from waters breaking to birth.

    1. bluesxman

      Re: Worra laff

      from waters breaking to birth.

      Until I got to that part, I was assuming it was a boast, of sorts, highlighting the other end of the pregnancy.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Worra laff

      Twelve Minutes

      Could have been worse; Henry William Whoosh Pop! Howzat?

      I still don't think he'll thank you for it

    3. Steven Raith

      Re: Worra laff

      "Henry William Twelve Minutes <surname>"

      Please tell me you're joking?

      Imagine this day:

      "Do you, Henry William Twelve Minutes Smith take Claire Jones to be your lawful, wedded wife?"

      And think about what you've done.

      Steven R

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. ElReg!comments!Pierre

        Re: Worra laff

        "Do you, Henry William Twelve Minutes Smith take Claire Jones to be your lawful, wedded wife?"

        Could be worse:

        "Do you, Henry William Twelve Minutes Hogwood take Claire Jones to be your lawful, wedded wife?"

    4. Lamont Cranston
      Unhappy

      Re: Worra laff

      Lovely. My middle name (and that of my first born) are taken from my paternal grandfather. Your son gets his from his mother's birth canal.

  6. JDX Gold badge

    Fish & Chips (for twins)

    Amazing. Going to remember that one.

    For pets, not children.

    1. Soruk
      Thumb Up

      Re: Fish & Chips (for twins)

      Crispy, Aromatic, Orange and Hoi Sin.

      Four ducks.

      1. AMBxx Silver badge

        Re: Fish & Chips (for twins)

        I had 2 turkeys - Christmas and Easter.

        1. Simon Harris

          Re: Fish & Chips (for twins)

          One of my ex bosses had 2 geese - Christmas Dinner and Freezer.

          1. ElReg!comments!Pierre

            Sushi and Sashimi

            2 goldfish

    2. mamsey

      Re: Fish & Chips (for twins)

      This and That for pets, it's great for explaining their names to people, e.g this is this and that's that...

    3. Captain DaFt

      Re: Fish & Chips (for twins)

      Am I the only one (besides the parents) that thinks Fish & Chips are awesome names for twins?

      I mean really, they let worse ones through!

  7. Captain Hogwash

    I've been thinking of changing mine to

    Davinco Zambezi's Dead Goldfish Band Unaccompanied By Yesterday's Fried Fingers.

  8. DrXym

    We need a follow up story

    Where Mr Frostnova expresses indignation that various computer systems around the world have built in assumptions about the length and form that names take, and how dare they break when confronted with an unconventional name.

    If that sounds absurd, it's already happened on at least one occasion with a person whining that Google+ didn't recognise their 1-word made-up name.

    1. Throatwobbler Mangrove

      Re: We need a follow up story

      There's an excellent post on Kalzumeus about the assumptions that programmers (and plenty of other people) make about names and how they're often wrong: http://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/06/17/falsehoods-programmers-believe-about-names/

      You say "1 word made-up name" but plenty of people in the world only have one name - e.g. about 20%-ish of Indonesians.

      http://www.ibtimes.com/sukarno-suharto-megawati-why-do-some-indonesians-have-only-one-name-1408204

      You might think that that is a cultural oddity of no real significance but the Indonesian market is 245 million people and its economy grew 6-ish% last year. In my finest South Park ski instructor voice: if your social media can't handle the names of your new user base, you're gonna have a bad time.

  9. Matt 21

    Hmmmm

    What about the pseudo oriental Noe-Kon-Dom ?

  10. Adam 1

    Were they from Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­turi­pukakapiki­maunga­horo­nuku­pokai­whenua­kitanatahu per chance?

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Of course

      But it is so much hassle to get someone else to type in, they just say they are from Waikikamukau.

      1. mamsey

        Re: Of course

        Spent a while traveling with a girl who hailed from Whykickamoocow, which was the source of much merriment when meeting with other folks.

    2. Mike Moyle

      ...on the shores of Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.

      1. Peter Simpson 1
        Thumb Up

        Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.

        Right down the road from me, actually (well, a bit of a drive, but still...what are the odds?)

        Max Power

      2. John Savard

        Llanfair P. G.

        This being a British web site, I was expecting a certain Welsh village to get mentioned in the comments...

  11. Robert Ramsay

    No 16 Bus Shelter

    Sadly, it took me a few seconds to realise why you might want to call your child that.

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: No 16 Bus Shelter

      Romantic, isn't it.

  12. Shane McCarrick

    $127 fee

    I'd almost stump up the fee for the poor guy to change his name back again- if I had the money and he hadn't. Then again- given past form, whats to say he wouldn't loose it on a hand of poker.........

    1. Kubla Cant
      Headmaster

      Re: $127 fee

      whats to say he wouldn't loose it on a hand of poker

      I doubt that it's possible, but he might lose it.

  13. fedoraman
    Happy

    The obligatory xkcd reference

    Little Bobby Tables .... http://xkcd.com/327/

  14. Snarf Junky

    I love that there's someone called Number 16 Bus Shelter wandering around. :-)

    1. Jonathan Richards 1

      Traditional

      I believe the traditional nickname is 0x10.

      AFAIK, no-one has attempted to name a child with a URL/URI.

      4, 3, 2, ...

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Traditional

        no-one has attempted to name a child with a URL/URI.

        Uri Geller?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm a fan

    of 'Help I'm trapped in a driving licence factory' - see http://xkcd.com/327/ and mouseover

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RE: Fish & Chips

    Shirley Sam 'n' Ella is what you're looking for (or not as the case may be...)

  17. Isendel Steel
    Coat

    Fenchurch

    That is all

  18. Hans 1

    @ketlan etc

    Ohh, come on ... there are already lousy REAL names to choose from like "Elisabeth", "Nigel" or "Stanley", for example.

    More seriously, though, if you cannot give your offspring a customary name you should not be allowed to raise one ... it is called responsibility or maturity. A kid is not a toy/game.

    I seriously think we need to be much more harsh with saving kids from irresponsible, immature tutors.

    No, I am not some [neo-]cons guy, I just think there are a lot of responsible potential tutors out there who cannot have children ... most of which even have functional braincells.

    1. Pedigree-Pete
      Pint

      Try doing that in France

      IIRC someone posted here in another thread that the French authorities frown on stupid naming attempts. That's why there are so may Jean-Lucs & Philippes about.

      Beer icon 'cause we're half way to Friday night!

    2. George Nacht

      I see your Nigel and Stanley

      and raise you Chauncey and Gaylord. But what the hell is wrong with Elisabeth?

  19. Winkypop Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Even if he changes his name back...

    ...he's locked into showing his previous name as "Full Metal Havok More Sexy N Intelligent Than Spock And All The Superheroes Combined With Frostnova." on government forms, bank documents, employment forms, etc.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And yet Apple Paltrow, Zowie Bowie, Koo Stark, Dweezil, Moon Unit and Diva Muffin Zappa are allowed to wander freely.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Not to mention Maverick, Dakota, Colt, and Scout McNealy, if you want an IT angle...

  21. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

    My progeny are grown now

    with less-common-but-traditional naming, but my next canine pseudo-child will be officially registered with the American Kennel Club as "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!?"

    Just calling him (or her) Whiskey will elicit deeply satisfying shock from my neighbors when I stand outside and call "Whiskey! Whiskey! Come here Whiskey!"

  22. Matt Piechota

    Naming

    A friend used the standard of adding CEO to the name to determine its suitability. "Bambi Williams, CEO? No, Bambi Williams, dancer." My wife and I are using "The honorable ___ ___ ___, presiding" as our check.

    That being said, my wife's legal middle name is "Sunshine", which I think is adorable but she doesn't want to make a family name. She also didn't approve of "Starshine Bottlerocket", either. :)

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: Naming

      "Starshine Bottlerocket"

      Whoa, Isn't that a character on 'My Little Pony'?

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: Naming

        Whoa, Isn't that a character on 'My Little Pony'?

        If it isn't, it should be. Here, I'll give you the episode synopsis:

        MLP:FiM x.n "Hitting the Bottle"

        Rainbow Dash becomes depressed and antisocial when a hot new aerialist comes to Ponyville - pegasus pony Starshine Bottlerocket. Meanwhile, someone keeps stealing Granny Smith's Special Grownup Pony Only Apple "Juice". Can Rainbow's friends get to the bottom of the mystery while trying to cheer her up?

        (In the end, of course, it turns out the thief is Starshine, who is unmasked as old man Withers, who was trying to scare everyone off the apple farm ... no, wait, wrong cartoon.)

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Picasso' full name: Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso

    Much cooler than Mr Frostnova, and then there are the Sri Lankan names...

  24. Nick Pettefar

    We called our new daughter Ivy Frances, for medical reasons.

    1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      This reminded me of Pamela Dean's novel Juniper, Gentian, and Rosemary, but you'd have to read it to find out why.

  25. ammabamma
    Trollface

    Ideas for names.

    I want to add the following to my middle names:

    1. "Deceased"

    (great for taxes!)

    2. "NULL"

    3. "0x07 0x07 0x07 0x07 0x07 0x07 0x07 0x07 0x07 0x07 0x0C"

    (bell bell bell bell bell bell bell bell bell bell form feed)

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