back to article Fandroids get their very own PERVY SMUT browser

Are you a pr0n-loving Fandroid who's sick of having to toggle the privacy button every time you view a grumble flick? There's help, er, at hand, apparently, with the release of the world's first ever smut-focused web browser. A developer called Steven Goh has designed a new mobile web browser which is unsubtly called Jerky, a …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Out on Android first?

    Proof if ever we needed it that Android users are much bigger wankers than iOS and MS users.

    1. phear46

      More likely the dev doesn't want to buy a licence to post this on the app store..... and it would also likely fall foul of the guidelines, what with it being predominantly for 'male pleasure'

      As a bit of a lone protester he's done quite well, reach a massive audience for little to no cost. Hell, he's even made el Reg headlines.....

      1. ThomH

        @phear46

        He was happy to buy a licence to post on Google Play so I suspect he's fine with licensing. Or maybe it's just that his budget was $25 rather than $99/year?

        I think you're more likely correct about the guidelines; there's nothing against anonymous browsers but if he couldn't wangle WebKit via UIWebView to give the level of privacy he wants to sell then he's out of luck as the longstanding rule against including code to run remotely downloaded executable code is still in effect. I think Apple's JavaScript library might be exposed directly as of iOS 7 (but don't quote me on that) so you could probably finally write your own rest-of-the-browser that hooked into that but then surely that's beyond the time investment that he considers worth it for the potential return?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Based on your comment, is that possible?

      Z10

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      iOS users are a big enough bunch of wankers without needing an app for it........

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        and all sit around stroking their iPhone rather than their ..

        1. Diamandi Lucas

          "and all sit around stroking their iPhone"

          and muttering how 4 inches is big enough

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Proof if ever we needed it that Android users are much bigger wankers than iOS and MS users."

      At least Android users know how...

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Proof if ever we needed it that Android users are much bigger wankers than iOS and MS users.

      It could be that Android is more geared towards data collection because of its Google origin. Using a "specialised" browser means you concentrate a certain type of data collection, and as you're online anyway, nobody is going to notice if this app is collecting stats and sending them off at the same time - nice catch for blackmail..

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Based on the down votes I see that Android users are not only the biggest wankers but also can't take a joke.

        Must be because of the painfully callused palms........from holding their facesized bricks they call phones.

        1. monkeyfish

          I'd have upvoted for the joke, the AC status went against my personal decision not to upvote ACs. If you'd posted normally with the troll or joke icon then you'd have had mostly upvotes. Probably.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Blatant sexism at El Reg

    That's what it is, suggesting that porn is only for men... I'm sure feminists everywhere will be up in arms about it very shortly.

    1. 's water music

      Re: Blatant sexism at El Reg

      just as soon as their arms are free...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Blatant sexism at El Reg

        Bring out a pastel version called bean-flicky and all will be good.

        1. Dick Emery

          Re: Blatant sexism at El Reg

          Surely it should be called Fappy Birds?

  3. Simon Harris
    Coat

    iOS version...

    Presumably available from the Fapp Store.

  4. drunk.smile

    How well does it work at getting round restrictions in say China or Iran on the interweb?

    1. ThomH

      ... or Great Britain? Oh, sorry, it's still optional, right? I'll ask again in a few years.

  5. ElReg!comments!Pierre

    Good name

    I often have to review mind-numbingly large image collections*, so I'm always looking for a better image viewer. So far, one of my all-times favourites is called "pornview". I would install and recommand it more if it was differently named... compa4red to that, "jerky" is very SFW.

    *microscopy images if you must know

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Good name

      "*microscopy images if you must know" oh, very small pr0n images, whatever floats your groat.

      1. ThomH

        Re: Good name

        Phwoar! Look at the foraminifera on that!

      2. Simon Harris

        Re: Good name

        Wow - that is old-school... archiving your porn collection on microfilm!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Good name

      > "pornview".

      I would change jobs just for the chance to have a legitimate reason to install an application named like that on a work computer.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    "the world's first ever smut-focused web browser"

    Really? The Pornzilla project is over ten years old.

  7. Pete the not so great

    If it were developed in Russia

    Would it be called Jerkov ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If it were developed in Russia

      .. and it would probably receive email at mail.ru, instead of its present hotmail.com..

  8. 20legend

    but does it support Adobe Flash?

    1. FartingHippo
      Paris Hilton

      Dolphin

      Dolphin + Jet Pack is your friend, and has good privacy features too.

      Or so I've been told.

  9. Steve Knox
    Paris Hilton

    "There is no 'UK porn filter'. There are instead parental controls implemented by the ISP, which, and this bit is the only thing that is new or has been changed, are now enabled by default for new accounts on several major ISPs. You don't need some dodgy new browser to bypass the parental controls, you just need to disable them in your account settings."

    Exactly. Simply identify yourself to the authorities and explicitly state that you want access to material many of them have expressed distaste for. What could possibly go wrong with that?

    1. Lusty

      I thought this too, I don't recall there being a declaration that a list of opted out folk wouldn't be kept for later examination and therefore it's actually an opt in system for porn (ab)users who will likely be investigated in due course.

      1. Paul_Murphy

        Not if everyone does it (the opting out of the filter - not porn (ab)use).

        The most effective form of control is one that people do themselves.

        1. SkippyBing

          'The most effective form of control is one that people do themselves.'

          If I had self control it wouldn't be a problem!

  10. Suricou Raven

    Opt out?

    Opt out is fine, if you wish to declare your porn viewership to everyone who shares your house. Children, spouse, visiting girlfriend. Not to mention the many over-eighteens who still live with parents - with the cost of living what it is, many people are doing that well into their twenties.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Opt out?

      It's not about opting out because you want porn. You opt out from day one simply to avoid the problems caused when someone posts a hide-the-sausage-selfie on a non-porn website you'd rather like to see right this minute.

  11. unitron
    Paris Hilton

    Re: meaning of the name

    Are we sure the name isn't about the quality of video clip playback instead?

    Paris, because...well, because Paris.

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