back to article STRIPPED DOWN and EXPOSED: Business kit from the good old days

A staple of radio phone-ins is to invite listeners to share their stories about funny things they found when moving into a new property. There are some tales that everyone can share, such as front doors fitted with a letterbox so small that you’d struggle to fit a postcard through without having to fold it in half. There are …

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  1. Callam McMillan

    So the big question is

    Can any of those bits of kit tell you the number of the local skip-hire company... EIther that or theres some ebaying to be done!

  2. AndrueC Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    About six months ago my ex-colleagues and I hired a skip or two and got rid of years (a couple of decades worth pretty much) of tat and crap. Unopened boxes of Borland Builder, books extolling the virtues of Lotus-123. The hardware front was mostly just old PCs but we also disposed of a rack mounted RAID box we'd been gifted.

    What shocked us was estimating the cost at time of purchase. We reckoned we binned nearly half a million quid of stuff. None of it the slightest use any longer.

    What saddened me was the software though. I remember buying it in high anticipation and now it's all just superseded crap. Some of it led to greater things but so much of it just stopped being relevant and was nearly forgotten.

    There's a moral to this story but I'm not sure what it is. Except that three months after we filled the skips the office was closed down and most of us made redundant. Apparently my time hasn't yet come though as within a month I was back at work. So for now at least it appears that after 25 years programming I've not yet been superseded. I just have to survive another 8 years until I'm 55 :)

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      >So for now at least it appears that after 25 years programming I've not yet been superseded.

      Well, at least the density of human neurons hasn't doubled every eighteen months since AndrueC left the fab, and his architects were smart enough not to specify him with EPROMs.

    2. returnmyjedi

      I've still got a stack of 5 inchers with Harvard Graphics on them. I'd still rather see folks use them than Powerpoint.

      1. Jedit Silver badge
        Coat

        "I've still got a stack of 5 inchers with Harvard Graphics on them"

        If you've only got a 5-incher then I have bad news for you - you've definitely been superseded.

    3. Captain Hogwash

      Re: There's a moral to this story but I'm not sure what it is

      I think the lesson for all of us in the computer industry, whether specialising in hardware or software, is that those who live by obsolescence die by obsolescence. Less painful than swords I suppose.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: There's a moral to this story but I'm not sure what it is

        The moral is that it's still easier to address envelopes with a typewriter than a Google Chromey tThingy (tm) using Interwed print to the cloud full of iUnicorns.

        Yes I have just tried to get a chromebook to print to a wifi printer 6 feet away - which seems to have failed because of a problem in a server on another continent.

    4. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      a couple of decades worth ... of tat and crap.

      Should have sold it to this place: http://www.weirdstuff.com/

      they even have a webcam.

      A true nostalgia-fest, well worth a vist if you're in the Sunnyvale area anytime.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm obviously missing something...

    what are the "notorious typewriter ram-raids" mentioned in tfa?

    1. Thecowking

      Re: I'm obviously missing something...

      For the sake of sanity, I'll assume you're serious.

      A ram raid is when someone uses a vehicle to break into premises to steal something.

      In this case the author has cleverly used the non-existence of said ram raids for the article in question (type-writers) to mock the squirrelling away of many of these articles instead of, for example, putting them in the bin or some other central location. (like a skip, tip, charity shop or E-bay)

      I assume the word notorious was used to highlight the utter non-existence of type-writer theft or associated coverage.

      I think that's pretty much killed that joke. Sorry Mr Dabbs.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'm obviously missing something...

        Thanks. sorry for idiocy, my brain's on holiday today.

      2. Peter Simpson 1
        Joke

        Re: I'm obviously missing something...

        I thought a RAM-raid was when you arrived early at work, with a screwdriver, and nearly simultaneously downgraded the amount of RAM in a co-worker's machine, while upgrading the amount in yours.

      3. Steve Renouf
        Joke

        Re: I'm obviously missing something...

        For an instant, what sprang into my mind was the way that the carraige-return always managed to "ram-raid" the nearest cup of tea!

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: I'm obviously missing something...

          Is it reference to the incidences in the early nineties (when RAM prices were very high) of thieves breaking into premises to steal RAM from computers? The left of the computers were left in place.

          No one would break into a business to steal typewriter ribbons... though they might ink-jet cartridges.

      4. Chris G

        Re: I'm obviously missing something...

        Typewriter theft may not currently be high on the to do list for modern thieves but I remember in the '70s in South London a couple of local likely lads putting on white coats then strolling in to the BT office building and visiting several floors of the building with a purloined tea trolley.

        They proceeded to take away enough of the old 'IBM Golfball' typewriters to fill the trolley saying the machines were going away for servicing.

        IIRC one of these machines in those days was a couple of hundred quid and very desirable on the second hand market.

        I was making about 75 quid a week in those days so a trolley full was not a bad haul.

  4. Dave 126 Silver badge

    Until about ten years ago, a member of my family used an Imperial typewriter, c1930, for typing out invoices on carbon paper. This was eventually replaced by an Epsom dot-matrix printer, under the control of Sage on XP (don't know about their migration plans!) The typewriter looked like this one: http://gallery.nen.gov.uk/assets/0802/0000/0143/ict_equipment16_mid.jpg

    Bits of kit I've found in a new workplace: a large data tape machine (not cassette) shoved under the desk of a NHS mailroom.

    In another workplace, a box of compact cassettes with Dyno labels, marking them out as containing instructions for a CNC machine.

    1. Kubla Cant

      Epsom dot-matrix printer

      I've heard that they go through the print queue like a dose of salts.

  5. returnmyjedi

    Gas masks? Pah! We unearthed a huge purple dildo hibernating in a support stocking after breaking into the locked desk drawer of a recently medically retired product manager.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Er, let me know when you put it on Ebay <cough>

  6. Natalie Gritpants

    Yikes, you've stumbled into...

    a terrorist cell. No way of tracking down letters from those typewriters. The bedding and gas mask is a hint as to what they were planning. Please leave the office, lock the door and report to your nearest police station.

    1. G R Goslin

      Re: Yikes, you've stumbled into...

      I think Alistair will find the safe is for the typewriter ribbon I notice is conspicuously absent in the photo. Perhaps Alistair has lighted on a subsidiary of GCHQ. I'd suggest he leave the country at once, but don't tell anyone where you're going.

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Yikes, you've stumbled into...

      "No way of tracking down letters from those typewriters."

      Actually, you can. You can even tell who typed it if it's a manual typewriter. Especially if your name is Detective Colombo, Homicide. Or Jessica Fletcher.

      Yes, the dirty mac --------------->

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gas masks

    I know I'm paranoid, but during the Icelandic volcano incident I bought a pair of suitable gas masks. For those who don't know, occasionally sulphur-laden plumes from volcanoes can hit the ground, and when they do, anybody in the vicinity can die or suffer serious lung damage.

    Several years later they have been well used, during gloss painting (which used to give me severe catarrh), working with epoxy and spraying wood with preservative. They turned out to be a rather useful investment.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Gas masks

      Are you my mummy?

    2. Dave Bell

      Re: Gas masks

      This isn't a crazy idea, and modern gas mask filters are proof against some pretty nasty chemicals, but getting the correct respirator and using within-expiry-date filters may be a better bet than a surplus gas mask. I'd be wary of the usable life of the filter, after the seals are broken, and the cost of replacement.

      I see on eBay several lots of used filters going dirt cheap. Don't expect them to work. They might be OK for use in a film, rather than break the seal on a new filter, but that's all. Gas masks aren't a wrong answer, but it is important to get the details right.

  8. Sir Runcible Spoon
    Gimp

    Sir

    I really want to know what's in the safe now.

    1. Mark 110

      Re: Sir

      Indeed. Mr Dabbs. Please acquire the key and open the safe and report back. Please.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Happy

        Re: Sir

        Oi! Dabbsie! Don't take the money. Open the box!

        If there's something scary in there, we'll be right behind you. Several miles behind you...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Please acquire the key and open the safe and report back.

        or perhaps a live stream of the opening ceremony as his SFTweekend contribution next week would be better. About in time for my 2pm cuppa please...

      3. Ken 16 Silver badge

        The key is in the pocket

        The pocket of the suit worn by the corpse in the safe.

    2. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Sir

      Can't help you, I'm afraid, at least not yet. The best I can offer is a photo of the offending item: http://pic.twitter.com/PEVO3CbuGh

      It's about four feet high. I would dearly love to use it as a drinks cabinet. But until I get the right to open it, it remains a large piece of junk that occupies space I'd like to use for something else... such as a drinks cabinet.

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: Sir

        Right to open it?

        Why haven't you/why is it even there still then??

      2. Steve the Cynic

        Drinks cabinet (was: Re: Sir)

        If you're planning to use the safe as a drinks cabinet, just watch out for Indio and his gang...

      3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Happy

        Re: Sir

        Alistair Dabbs,

        Just call Special Branch, and tell them that you've found a bunch of gas masks and a mysteriously locked safe. I'm sure they'll pop round right quick and open it for you.

        You may wish to take the precaution of moving all your valuables to a safe distance first...

      4. Oninoshiko

        Re: Sir

        Well when you do, you'll have to do another post. Us busybodies are all in a buzz about it now!

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon
          Devil

          Re: Sir

          Considering some of the other stuff found I'm wondering if it's an old BOFH lair?

      5. Diogenes

        Return to the Titanic (2014)

        Given Hollywood's penchant fro remakes you could make an hour long documentary* on opening of the safe, raising all the speculation here

        *Reference is to the 1987 1 hour doco dramatic opening of the Assistant Pursers' safe assumed to contain a small fortune in jewelery that went down with the Titanic - had a single diamond bracelet (I misremembered that it was empty) - I note the video of the original is available on youtube

      6. Intractable Potsherd

        Re: Sir

        I don't know how old the safe is, but from the colour of the flex on that extension cable, it pre-dates the wheel ...

      7. jake Silver badge

        @ Alistair Dabbs

        Just pick the fucking lock, for gawdess's sake.

        It ain't exactly rocket science. See the MIT locksmith's guide if you are clueless.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    those typewriters have monetery value dont you know...

    They are historic items and back in demand...

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: those typewriters have monetery value dont you know...

      Exactly. Rather difficult for the likes of GCHQ/NSA and Google to slurp data from a typewriter.

      1. the spectacularly refined chap

        Re: those typewriters have monetery value dont you know...

        Rather difficult for the likes of GCHQ/NSA and Google to slurp data from a typewriter.

        It's actually very easy, especially with single strike ribbons - unroll the ribbon and you can read off everything it has typed directly. No one ever thought about that when throwing out used ribbons.

        1. willi0000000

          Re: those typewriters have monetery value dont you know...

          "No one ever thought about that when throwing out used ribbons."

          when i worked, briefly, for the military industrial complex (industrial division) every typewriter ribbon used in the facility was collected and securely destroyed whether used for classified work or not.

          and, as to monetary value - there are still too many places on this mismanaged planet that don't exactly have reliable electricity. if you only have electricity for a few hours/day and not always contiguous hours there is a real advantage to being able to keep working and not wait to reboot and fire up the printer hoping to get through the job. there is, last i checked, a good market for working or repairable manual typewriters. you might check with an NGO to see if they're interested.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Those gas masks look (to my untrained eye) like the stuff the Soviets used. Obviously, this place was an equipment dump for a Cold War Spetnaz group. Be careful opening any heavy boxes :-)

  11. johnaaronrose

    Any chance, Mr Dabbs, of my acquiring some of those gas masks? Please contact me on johnaaronroseatgmaildotcom

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Black Helicopters

      Don't listen to him! He's an FBI agent provocateur!

    2. Alistair Dabbs

      Gas masks

      I have learnt that the boss bought the sack of gas masks in the wake of the 7/7 bombings in London. Remember the bus on Hackney Road that didn't explode? That was just outside the office.

      Unfortunately, I have also learnt that the gas masks were a job lot from that dodgy supplier rejected by the Israeli military, i.e. they probably don't work.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Gas masks

        The one in the picture also doesn't appear to have a filter, so its only effect would be to give you a sweaty face whilst you choke to death.

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon

          Re: Gas masks

          " johnaaronroseatgmaildotcom"

          I don't know why but every time I re-read this I keep expecting to see the word 'goat' in there. Weird.

          1. Mephistro

            Re: Gas masks

            "I keep expecting to see the word 'goat' in there"

            I thought there was a 'goatse'. Our brains taking shortcuts, as usual. :-)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What's with all the moaning ?

    As I started to read this, I thought it was going to be about some old tech he'd found. As it is, it seems to be props for a photo shoot of the futuristic tech our boss keeps telling us will be invented some time !

  13. Derek Thomas

    Help

    I have an 8 inch floppy and nothing to put it in.

    1. Isendel Steel
      Coat

      Re: Help

      Viagra won't be any good then ?

    2. Darryl

      Re: Help

      Beats the heck out of only have a 3 1/2 inch one

  14. The Man Himself Silver badge
    Go

    Gasmasks

    Three words for you...Gasmask Kazoo Orchestra. (search for it on the Tube of You, and you'll see what I mean)

    1. Toxteth O'Gravy

      Re: Gasmasks

      Prefer Wilf Gasmask Grimshaw, myself.

      Whatever happened to the Grumbleweeds?

  15. Craig Vaughton
    Mushroom

    Missing something

    Other than the respirators being useless without the active filter that attaches to the hole on the front...

    I don't suppose you found some loose doors stacked up in the same room as the drawers with the respirators in, when you've pretty obvious you've got a full complement attached in the relevant doorways, possibly unfilled sandbags and definitely pamphlets labelled "Protect and Survive"?

  16. big_D Silver badge
    Coat

    Don't know it?

    *Don’t knock the eMac either: I laid out a tabloid newspaper on one of those for almost a year.*

    Yes Alistair, but tabloids are usually daily papers, not annual. ;-)

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Don't know it?

      Most tabloids are not dailies.

  17. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    When I moved into my place there was a safe in the cellar. It took about a year to struggle the thing out into the daylight to leave it for passing gippos.

  18. Stoneshop

    Faster to do it by hand

    Don’t knock the eMac either: I laid out a tabloid newspaper on one of those for almost a year

    Reliable Sources have informed me that the eMac wasn't quite that slow.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Faster to do it by hand

      Speed has nothing to do with it. Trying to negotiate 280x390mm pages on a blurry, shimmering 16in display running at 1152x864 or migraine-hammering 1280x960 running at what appeared to be 1Hz was no fun at all.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Disappointed

    In your previous column, you mentioned lingerie models.

  20. GlenP Silver badge

    Safes etc.

    When I joined the current employer I inherited several iMACs (we'd been a Windows site for a couple of years), several firewall boxes, all redundant (it appears a former external support person would sell the company another one when he was short of beer money) and various other kit. Later on when we moved a remote plant I also inherited two spare complete phone systems but managed to junk a load of CRTs.

    On movign into our current head office I gained an entire room complete with Chubb safe door. Getting the cabling in through the 6" reinforced concrete ceiling was interesting but if anyone wants to pinch my servers they'll have an interesting time!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A staple of radio phone-ins is to invite listeners to share their stories about funny things they found when moving into a new property.

    When I moved into my current house the previous owners left a mountain of tat behind. This included an enormous piss soaked dog kennel in a summer house at the bottom of the garden (I hadn't even known about the summer house before moving in, as it was hidden behind a row of trees). In the loft I found a folder full of business cards for bars and clubs in France, all with multi-coloured flag logos and many with the phrase "hairy bears" written in French. I Googled the phrase, and then wished I hadn't.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Goldmine

    You're sitting on a goldmine there.

    - The eMac will sell itself on eBay to one of the many Apple hoarders.

    - The typewriter - at a wedding show recently we were quoted 50 quid to hire a typewriter, like the one there with a bit of plastic ivy glued to it. The 'retro' wedding craze is in full swing and is an absolute cashcow to those in the know.

    - The filing cabinets - used car dealers love these for storing V5s, MOTs, dodgy stamped service history books etc. - can't do that with a computer!

  23. Richard 45

    Compared to many offices in rural Wales (and probably rural UK in general), this stuff is futuristic C22nd kit.

  24. Frankee Llonnygog

    Judging by the list of equipment

    your office is actually the Government's 'hi-tech' COBRA war-room

    1. the spectacularly refined chap

      Re: Judging by the list of equipment

      your office is actually the Government's 'hi-tech' COBRA war-room

      Don't even joke about that - it's closer to the truth than you realise. I recall reading a news feature on Cobra a couple of years ago. It's where the nuclear button is kept.

      It's a Telex machine.

  25. earl grey
    Happy

    a handful of cobalt bits

    And a leccy drill and you're in the safe in no time. Permission granted.

  26. Gannettt

    As a spotty work-experience lad in the late 1980s working for a company making milling equipment, someone pried open a locked cupboard door and found a hoard of candles, drinking water and ancient packs of Walker's ready salted crisps, apparently stored up during the 1973 3-day week. We all went home with boxes of huge white candles, but nobody was very interested in the water or crisps (I guess nobody liked ready salted!)

    At school we were taught to type on ancient Olympia and Silver Reed typewriters similar to those pictured. The teacher was of a similar vintage and looked like she had stepped straight out of a 1950s office, including perm and Dame Edna glasses. The smell of the fluid she used to clean the typewriters was intoxicating. It was sad when she retired and the new broom junked all the machines the old teacher had so lovingly cared for over the years and replaced them with electronic daisywheels.

    1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      @Gannettt

      I'd be surprised if they were Walkers. Back in 1973, the major brands in the UK were Smiths and Golden Wonder and Tudor.

      If I remember correctly, Walkers crisps (which appear to actually be another brand of the same company that produced Smiths crisps) started appearing nationwide around 1978/79, and caused much confusion because prior to Walkers, everybody had Salt and Vinegar crisps in blue bags and Cheese and Onion in green.

      Interestingly, Golden Wonder are back in the shops, still with the old colours for the flavours.

  27. Terry 6 Silver badge

    It works both ways

    Some years back the educational support team I was helping to run deperately needed networking and collaborative sharing of documents etc.

    As IT co-ordinator I made a strong business case, which was agreed.

    I expected them to get us a server, or at least network the exisitng PCs and give us a shared drive.

    But no. Someone higher up decided he needed a new network for his office, or something.

    So we got sent the newly redundant Unix box, and a bunch of dumb terminals, with nice glowing orange screens - and some inbuilt software that no one working there had any idea how to use and had no compatibility with our existing stuff ( Windows/Office etc) or the software the schools we worked with were using. They then spent a fortune on cabling but couldn't get it to work properly. It just took up valuable desk space next to our Windows boxes.

    Eventually they agreed it was no good, and said they'd take it back, so I disconnected it all and stacked it in pile a corner to be collected: Every year on the anniversary of the pile I printed a little plaque. Usually just before one of the high-ups made his annual visit.

    Eventually I think we skipped it all ourselves.

    The cabling remained in place, all round the building, mixed in with phone wires, alarm cables, and who knows what else, causing intense confusion for anyone trying to do any work on the building and sometimes trailling on the floor and tripping people up..

  28. Martin-73 Silver badge

    Don't dump those dial phones, they're worth drinking money!

    (body)

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re; The Safe

    You just need somebody to blow the bloody door off!

  30. CAPS LOCK

    Key to the safe? Any locksmith will tell you that the original is lost and the spare is...

    ... in the safe. Doh!

  31. Sokolik
    Happy

    Vydec, Anyone?

    As this is a 1980's office and I was an office manager part of the '80's, I'm surprised at the absence of word processors. Sounds so silly now, doesn't it?!? Then, "word processor" was a big piece of hardware; now "word processor" is software. Also, from this long view, it seems likewise comically-ironic and unbelievable one of the leading word-processor vendors was a subsidiary of...Exxon!?!

  32. TopScot31

    Excellent Article ...

    Alistair ... congrats! ... the article is excellent ... Spring Cleaning ? ... a good example of why not! On the good side ... you might just make money on these old items ... some of them MUST be unique and there is always a market for the most unlikely things!

    Thanks for making my day!

  33. IGnatius T Foobar
    Linux

    Manual typewriters make great steampunk keyboards

    With a little effort, manual typewriters can be transformed into awesome looking steampunk type keyboards.

    Tux logo because Windows is an abomination and cool people use Linux exclusively.

  34. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

    Databases

    If you think vertical filing makes an unwieldy database, you should consider its predecessors: flat filing, chapbooks, and pidgeonholes. The last especially produced some real data-retrieval nightmares, like the Wooton Patent Desk.

    JoAnne Yates' Control Through Communication includes an excellent study of the evolution of filing methods through the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, and their effects on how business was conducted. She has some useful things to say about the typewriter, too.

    And hey - I had one of those Olympia typewriters, in that same style of case. It had been my mother's college typewriter. First typewriter I ever used; as a young lad (around 6 or 7) I would copy pages from my favorite novels out with it. I was perhaps a bit monkish.

  35. EJ

    Probably cliched but still...

    Our new secretary to the HR director, when moving her stuff into the retired secretary's desk, reported finding several love notes between the retired HR secretary and the former director of HR. Everyone who knew both of them were somewhat surprised by that.

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