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back to article Fun-killing fireshow-flunking ZOMBIE COMET ISON only LOOKED alive

The images that appeared to capture the resurrection of Comet ISON have turned out to be nothing more than a few snaps of the space rock's ghost, as it has continued to fade from view. After the comet seemingly came back from the dead after sputtering out just prior to perihelion*, astroboffins are now coming to the conclusion …

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  1. BongoJoe
    Megaphone

    Out of the question

    I should say. I live in Wales.

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  2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    RIP ISON

    Pity it fizzled out. For those eager to see a comet, try Lovejoy, a finder chart can be found on the same site. Nice comet to view in binoculars

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Perihelion*

    * its closest pass over the Sun

    As opposed to pirihelion*

    * a meal at Nandos with the outlaws.

    Anonymous for obvious reasons.

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  4. paulc

    It is an Ex Comet...

    shuffled off this mortal coil, gone to join the choir celestial...

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    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: It is an Ex Comet...

      Orbits are conics, not coils.

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      1. paulc
        Reply Icon

        Re: It is an Ex Comet...

        orbits are coils when you consider that everything in our solar system is also moving along in the same direction around the galaxy in addition to being in orbit with each other

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  5. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    What can I say...

    That others haven't already said better?

    "While the comet spreads its tail across the sky

    it nowhere near defines the course it flies,

    nor does it find its own direction.

    Though the path of the comet be sure,

    its constitution is not

    so its meaning is possibly more

    than the tracing of a tail

    in one brief shot at glory."

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    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov
      Reply Icon

      Re: What can I say...

      O, hai! U Justin Bieber fan?

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  6. TRT Silver badge

    I thought Comet broke up...

    around November 2012.

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  7. Elmer Phud
    Megaphone

    Has it really gone?

    I suspect it's still in one piece but the authorities are suppressing the information and using secret tech to make it look like there's nothing there.

    We demand to know what they are hiding from us, what is so important that we are kept in the dark?

    Is it the return of Jesus, albeit a tad early?

    (still no tin-foil hat icon!!)

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    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Has it really gone?

      Nah, the comet was peed by being peeped at and activated its cloak.

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  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Look on the anti-negative side

    Least it wasn't the clouds that ruined this one....

    God damn sun...Could have done the decent thing and turned itself off for a day...

    Physics spoiled my viewing... Bastard physics...

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  9. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    RIP Ison (5 billion BC-2013 AD)

    I guess we in the Northern hemisphere remain comet-deprived.

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    1. paulc
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      Re: RIP Ison (5 billion BC-2013 AD)

      deprived? There's still comet Lovejoy up there visible to the naked eye in dark skies...

      http://beforeitsnews.com/space/2013/12/comet-lovejoy-is-the-real-show-now-comet-ison-is-dead-or-dying-2470978.html

      http://www.webpronews.com/as-ison-has-fizzled-comet-lovejoy-remains-visible-2013-12

      http://earthsky.org/space/how-to-see-comet-lovejoy-c2013-r1-charts-photos

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  10. Euripides Pants

    Obligatory XKCD

    http://xkcd.com/1297/

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  11. King Guru

    ISON

    The bit that survived the sun was the escape pod.

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    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: ISON

      Stupidly US Space Command held its fire because scanners could not detect any lifeforms in there. So they assumed it must have short-circuited.

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    2. Tom 13
      Reply Icon

      Re: ISON

      That's not an escape pod. It's yet another clever battle tactic by the Silurians to hide their invasion fleet. I just hope The Doctor is ready for his holiday special appearance this year.

      Or maybe a small dog will swallow it just before they launch their attack.

      Either works for me.

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  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Perhaps after passing the Sun it struck the Counter-Earth?

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  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re. cloaking device

    :-)

    "Scotty to Capt. Kirk. Holding at warp factor nine. Metaphasic shields and cloak avaliable at your command"

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