back to article Confessions of a porn site boss: How I got it up on the 'net

Going to a sex shop in itself can be embarrassing at the best of times, but when I knew that I was going to ask about dodgy video tapes from dubious sources, it got a whole lot worse. "I'm looking for some more interesting kinky stuff, know where I can get any?" This was the early '90s and VHS cassettes were the norm. DVD …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Want to know what the entertainment industry will do in the next decade?

    Look at what the porn industry was doing 5-10 years ago.

    1. K

      Re: Want to know what the entertainment industry will do in the next decade?

      Great - Can't wait for "YouFilm", where all the latest movies are legally free and I can use a ad-blocker to remove all the crap... but I can live with the occasional unblockable pop-up.

      joking aside, your right, the issue is TV companies are monolithic monsters who hate change..

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Want to know what the entertainment industry will do in the next decade?

        I was also thinking how they do revenue sharing down the distribution channels, how they actually do do distribution (which you allude to) and so on.

        The porn industry isn't small by any measure, but the business culture seems to be rather different (from the outside looking in).

        I could actually see myself sitting down, having a nice cup of tea and a chat with a porn mogul. A TV mogul would probably have me leaping over the table with rage in my eyes.

  2. The Nazz

    Previous viewing history.

    I'm saying nothing about my former viewing habits but aren't these broille based keyboards wonderful.

    I'm sorry, i'll just feel that again.

    hat tip to pete and dud..

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who the Hell Pays Money to a Porn Site?

    From what I've seen, you could spend 24/7 just looking at free stuff, including full length feature films, and you don't need to be IT savvy either . At the same time, this guy "explains" (although I still don't understand it) why so many sites just consist of links to each other. What is the point again?

    In fact, it is not just porn sites. It is a curse of the Web that most search and directory sites mainly give links to other search and directory sites. Eg if I Google for "Plumber Northampton" it suggests I look in Yell and Thompsons - FFS, if I'd wanted to look in Yell or Thompsons I'd have gone there in the first place; other links are just to Northampton local directories in which plumbers may or may not feature. I have largely gone back to the paper Yellow Pages when I'm looking for stuff.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Who the Hell Pays Money to a Porn Site?

      Freemium service. You pay for more and better content.

      As for search engines just indexing other search engines, with decent ones like Yell/Thomson it's less of an issue as the link tends to go to actual entries. What pisses me off is when the link goes t some shitty aggregator with no content of its own.

      As for traders - nothing beats word of mouth and sites like "Trusted Trader" or local council schemes. We used them to get tradespeople; all were really good and will to go above and beyond. Just make sure you have a A LOT of tea and biccies. Roofers seems to be powered by biccies! :-)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Who the Hell Pays Money to a Porn Site?

      Depends, some people have very specific tastes.

      But I don't really trust the porn site people with my card details.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Who the Hell Pays Money to a Porn Site?

      He is talking about the old days when a dirty mag was a £5 (a half days salary for some) and a pass £20 and the sites had 100 JPGS you could pay to download at paint drying speed.

      What we see now is the change he will probably be dealing with in the next article. Where 'services' and full length films become the money earners and the brief bits of films are the advertising.

      I once had a pint with a Porn magnate (well more like a greasy Dell Boy) a ,mate was doing some sites for him and they wanted some technical help with streaming. If you can imagine a really fat version of 'Toast of London' you aren't far wrong.

      Sorry probably me being a prude but I found it uncomfortable. He did make me laugh though, apparently he and his somewhat generously proportioned family did all the responses on the online type chat lines so when you were talking to 'Kinky Kirsty' it really was a greasy fat bloke with a bad suit.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sadly modern porn is crap

    Fake boobs.

    Orange tans.

    That dreadful essex-cat-shaped-eye makeup thing

    Guys using viagra

    Obsession with the shaved look

    A generally misogynistic attitude

    Seemed to start with the rise of the internet (mid 90s).

    I prefer my porn from the 70s and 80s.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sadly modern porn is crap

      >I prefer my porn from the 70s and 80s

      I prefer my porn homemade, unfortunately in my household equity have called a localized strike and pulled out all its members. Negotiations are on going and if I start being nice to the resident MILF, sorry MIL (mother-in-law) normal servicing could resume shortly.

      1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

        Re: Sadly modern porn is crap

        "pulled out all its members"

        I think you mean "refusing entry to all members", shirley? (Assuming AC is of the male persuasion)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @AC 11:08 - Re: Sadly modern porn is crap

        Wrote :- "if I start being nice to the resident MILF, sorry MIL (mother-in-law) normal servicing could resume"

        You make porn featuring your MIL ??!!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @AC 11:08 - Sadly modern porn is crap

          >You make porn featuring your MIL ??!!

          NO, and you don't know how much of a no that is, being nice to the MIL just means more intercourse than "good morning" and "good night" which is a waste of time as she's knocking on close to 100 and anything more is met with a blank stare.

          >I think you mean "refusing entry to all members", shirley? (Assuming AC is of the male persuasion)

          AC is of the male persuasion and "refusing entry to non-members" would be more appropriate

          1. Anonymous Coward
            WTF?

            Re: The MIL

            close to 100? More intercourse?

            Not concepts I'm used to seeing in the same sentence

            1. DiViDeD

              100 years old & more intercourse

              Oh they appear together often enough in the more 'diverse' porn sites, you can be sure. Sometimes associated with the rather odd phrase 'erotic incontinence'

              .. or so I'm told

    2. Timbo

      Re: Sadly modern porn is crap

      >>I prefer my porn from the 70s and 80s.

      Too true....I recall working in London's West End at a particular hi-fi shop, just after VCR's became "all the rage". Due to their scarcity, video recorders kept their high prices and initially every machine we had delivered to us (from the likes of Sony, JVC, Panasonic, Akai, Sanyo, Hitachi etc) would have been pre-sold.

      Within a short period of time, we got friendly with some customers who kept coming back to buy yet another machine.....plus the "cable kit" to link between them......either with PL259 or BNC video cables and a single phono/RCA cable for the sound (as early VCR's were mono). Hence a small "industry" started up, with people copying tapes and then selling them to people who had bought a VCR but wanted something different to what was on normal telly. :-)

      And we had a "nice little earner" as quite a few people would ask us to copy non-copyright tapes for them (as initially there were few pre-recorded films available).....but it had to be done in real time, so with the large number of demonstration models on show, we'd link up as many machines are required (to do enough copies for the customer, plus one for "us") and this would then happen overnight.

      They had to buy the blank tape the copy was recorded onto as well as pay a small service charge for the copying (which paid for our bacon sarnies).

      In time, more films became available and we saw far fewer customer who wanted copy services, due to the wider availability of VCR from other outlets.....but it was fun checking over the copies we'd made to see exactly what sort of adventures some humans had got up to....

      Just a shame that most of these films were from the US and had been poorly transcribed from NTSC to PAL and likewise the poor quality of any copies you made on VHS and Beta....but at the time it was quite "eye-opening".....

      Eventually, there was "legal" softcore available such as Electric Blue, which sold quite well.....but not as well as the BBC Royal Wedding video's (of Chuck and Di) which we sold at full RRP of £50 each.....

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sadly modern porn is crap

      You forgot the fact that guys can't do a decent splurge either. It looks like they're drizzling oil over a salad these days.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sadly modern porn is crap

      "A generally misogynistic attitude" and "Guys using viagra" are the bits there that really grind my gears.

      I'm not a feminist- that'd be an odd point of view to take given that I'm male- but both the male and female 'actors' in most modern porn now do seem to suck (pun not intentional).

      and sod the 'essex cat' eye makeup thing, it's the deliberately-dead-eyed-as-'sexy' thing that puts me off.

      The problem is that modern porn just isn't sexy. Sexy domination? The utter control over her body as you find the right spot with your tongue. Relinquishing control to her as she returns the favour. By all means use restraints, but to enhance that feeling of relinquishing control to your partner(s), not as the primary method of control while you make no attempt at exploiting it.

      Obviously this goes out the window with S&M videos.

      Faking it? No. Just no. That goes for either gender. I've [err..my friend has found] that some videos are better served muted, maybe with another video playing in the background to provide a better sound track. Same thing with the whole 'overly large penis' thing. Either the recipient should enjoy it or find it painful, whatever gets you/her off. Even making a show of faking that she's enjoying it because she wants him to think she's enjoying it would be okay. But faking enjoying it because 'chick love big dicks' is a terrible idea, as is the 'he is a sex god because of the size of his genitals, even though he has absolutely no idea how to use them' paradigm.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sadly modern porn is crap

      The list goes on:

      Boob implant visible scars and/or boob implants that make the nipples point to weird directions

      40 to 50 years-old "barely legal teenagers"

      The horrible hissings and other noises

      Faded inappropriate tattoos

      Piercings -- the ultimate anti-boner

      1. Naughtyhorse

        Re: Sadly modern porn is crap

        I must admit i really don't get it...

        That is to say 'modern porn' is, for the many reasons listed, awful (if you don't 'get' max hardcore for eg)

        now post-modern porn.... it's whatever you want, exotic, mundane, real, fake... everything all the time.

        maybe you guys need to search a bit harder (fnar fnar etc etc)

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sadly modern porn is crap

      I've not actually watched much 'real' porn, but what I have seen is just not attractive for those reasons. There seems to have been a 'race to the extreme' as producers struggle to out-do each other leading to a flood of videos showing mysogynistic violence and bad acting. Vanilla sex has become a niche thing!

      I found the best porn isn't the real stuff. It's the artwork and erotic fiction for me, mostly the furry stuff. A good story is a lot hotter than any image to me, and the art manages to appeal far more than the dead-eyed gaze of someone who really can't act very well. I imagine there's some good real porn out there too, I've just never gone looking for it.

      Kinky things in porn can be good too - lots of hotness in that field - but kinky doesn't have to mean abusive.

      (Anon because I think The Boss knows my handle here.)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder if anyone else found themselves...

    ...squinting at the thumbnails in this article? :-P

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Re: I wonder if anyone else found themselves...

      Nah, but I did recognize most of them.

      I, for one, used to be able to type single-handedly at a respectable wpm.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Slowcoach.

    "Within 24 hours of jumping on the internet I was on porn sites"

    What took you so long???

    Ah, I still remember, at 16, finding a vuln in a particularly wince-inducing Danish BDSM site... Got a good gig+ off that on dialup on a marathon session. Cost a few bob on the bill but I made more money selling CDs of it!

  7. Arachnoid

    Anonymity...........

    One has to wonder what members here would do with out the mask of anonymity.Oh I forgot the NSA KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Anonymity...........

      "Oh I forgot the NSA KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

      The boys at the NSA are provided with ultra-powerful computers, directly connected to the backbone of the 'net, a veil of secrecy, and an unlimited budget. My guess is that they spend all day surfing porn.

      1. ecofeco Silver badge

        Re: Anonymity...........

        "My guess is that they spend all day surfing porn."

        Guess? It's a proven fact.

        Google "federal employees watching porn" Be sure you are sitting down.

  8. Zmodem

    porn for your screen saver movie = good

    1million users paying the $30 a month for HD movies = revenue

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    USENET back in the late '80s/early '90s

    That was some good stuff. Remember the Giffy Girls?

  10. Ken Y-N
    Gimp

    A leading Japanese online pr0n distributor is called...

    ...Soft On Demand.

    But, Japanese pr0n sites seem stuck in the West's 1990's heydays. Thumbnails (usually DVD covers linking back to said SOD web site), affiliate banners, personal site interlinking, pop-ups, pop-unders, top site rankings, etc, etc, and if you finally manage to find a link to a .torrent that actually works, you end up with a yet another pixellated-fannied schoolgirl who squeaks like a dog chew toy while getting poked by an anonymous pixellated knob.

    So a friend tells me anyway.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A leading Japanese online pr0n distributor is called...

      Want to have some clean, NSFW fun without having to see all those pixels and hear those noises?

      Go to http://www.javlibrary.com/en/vl_searchbyid.php?keyword=ABP and browse the titles translated to something that resembles English.

      Here are some:

      Beautiful Woman Cabin Attendant God Hata Ichihana Of Longing Perpetrated

      Latest Super Addictive Este Anjo Anna Ends Up Your Service

      Ayami Seasonal Fruit Injection Narrow Tit Is Not Painfully

      Perversion came in many flavors.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: A leading Japanese online pr0n distributor is called...

        I've got your seasonal fruit injection right here, buddy.

  11. ecofeco Silver badge

    I too have to ask...

    Who pays for porn?

    1. Naughtyhorse
      Joke

      Re:who pays....

      I guess that's 'society' according to dave and is mates at the 'society to ban the internets'

      (which is kind of odd considering the patron saint of the 'fuck you! i'm alright jack' movement asserted that there is no such thing as society...'cept for drugs and porn clearly)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Re:who pays....

        Sorry, slight aside, but it annoys me when people refer to Thatcher saying there is no such thing as society.

        If you read the original, rather than the out-of-context soundbite that the left pushed and propagated, you'd see that what she was actually saying was totally unrelated to the hysterical left-wing accusations:

        I think we have gone through a period when too many children and people have been given to understand “I have a problem, it is the Government's job to cope with it!” or “I have a problem, I will go and get a grant to cope with it!” “I am homeless, the Government must house me!” and so they are casting their problems on society and who is society? There is no such thing! There are individual men and women and there are families and no government can do anything except through people and people look to themselves first. It is our duty to look after ourselves and then also to help look after our neighbour and life is a reciprocal business and people have got the entitlements too much in mind without the obligations, because there is no such thing as an entitlement unless someone has first met an obligation ...

        Of course the left stop partway through at "there is no such thing", which I find to be a particularly dishonest position. There are a few ways of understanding what she was saying, but after reading the second part you'd have to either be really indoctrinated or wilfully blind to continue asserting that she said what she is accused of saying other than in the most literal and out-of-context way.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Re:who pays....(Thatcher)

          Thanks for the quotation.

          I always visit the comment section in the hope that someone will have added a comment with actual informative content, but sadly am often disappointed.

          Of course, here I am adding just another "me too" comment, so who am I to complain?

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Re:who pays....

          In fairness, it appears to have been something of a (whisky-fuelled?) ramble which is quite hard to parse.

          Thatcher was carefully ignoring the central point, which was that while it might be "our duty to look after ourselves", her government was engaged in making this as difficult as possible for people who were poor or disabled (as is the present one).

          My wife assists with a Credit Union, and when you understand the problems that State bureaucracy creates for some people, you start to get quite angry. Such as someone with schizophrenia risking eviction because the State changed the benefits system and ordered him to attend an interview by second class post (where the letter was duly lost) instead of making a phone call and so verifying that he knew about it.

          Life is a reciprocal business, perhaps, but it needs to be understood that Conservative policy, accidentally or by malice, seems to aim at ensuring that this only applies to the rich, and then in the form of "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."

          If Thatcher was misunderstood, it was because the sound bite summed up, for many, the core philosophy of her government. It's interesting that Boris Johnson has now had a similar senior moment.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Re:who pays....

          Dishonest? Politicians? p0rn ? All in one article? AM I on the Daily Fail website.....

  12. OzBob

    I am showing my predilections here

    but if you want to join in, realpunting.com shows uk escorts doing the deed, so you can "try before you buy". Alternatively, the private club in birmingham is a good place to visit when they are filming for their websites. (I am not associated with these sites).

  13. earl grey
    Joke

    at least my computer isn't screwed

    ermmmm.

  14. codeusirae
    Facepalm

    Sad to see ..

    Sad to see the Register reduced to promulgating free adverts for wank sites. I came here to read-up on technology, if I want to read-up on porn, I can do that on on my own, I know how to use a search engine.

    "pornografication of society"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sad to see ..

      The article was *about* IT. The fact that the product being sold was porn is occasionally amusing, but not the overriding point. If you can't read about the porn *business* without separating it from the sexuality, I suspect *you* may be more obsessed with it than those you accuse.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sad to see ..

      That link leads to an interesting PhD thesis in anthropology from New Zealand, remarkably free of academic jargon and genuinely interesting.

      The author makes a core point, that some women get pleasure from displaying their bodies, and whether the result is pornographic or not depends on a number of factors, a major one of which is the semasiology around the event. (this is a very short abstract indeed, the whole document contains a lot of interesting insights)

      It's about a million miles away from a discussion of internet porn, and leads me to think that New Zealand just might be a lot more culturally advanced than that big island continent two thousand kilometres away.

  15. Zmodem

    you all need to get out more if your under 30, porn is only good for screen savers and bring some light into your cave

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