back to article Google: YouTube fights off HUGE ASCII PHALLUS MENACE

The integration of YouTube comments with Google Plus has led to a new wave of obscene comment spam and more junk, Google has admitted. The search engine giant has pledged to stick by the new comment system, introduced earlier this month, while fighting, er, harder to eradicate new nuisances such as ASCII penis art and link …

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  1. Robert Ramsay

    If you want to clean up YouTube...

    ...you will only do it by eliminating morons.

    So let us know how that goes.

    1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

      Re: If you want to clean up YouTube...

      Ever since Google linked YouTube to G+, G+ has turned to shit.

      Now, it's like the flamewars on Facebook.

      Google: "Hey, we have something here that's pretty cool and really good. Let's fuck it up."

      1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

        Re: If you want to clean up YouTube...

        I'm not supporting the new system, but the old one was pretty cruddy - you couldn't even link to other youtube videos!

  2. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    "ASCII art pornography"

    John, what are you smoking? ASCII art pornography indeed? Art is not pornographic (unless you're American) and while ASCII art has a certain retrospective appeal, the concept of ASCII pornography brings back fond memories of line printers.

    It's YouTube, home of the farting hippo videos - what does anyone expect? ASCII art pornography sounds like a great improvement.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "ASCII art pornography"

      I used to have a ~10KB text file with a scantily clad ASCII woman, for pasting into IRC channels during quiet times (someone else sticking another line in the middle tended to ruin it). It would take about 10 minutes to send with the anti-spam buffers mind, you could disable those but while you would see the whole thing, everyone else would get just the first 4-5 lines and you'd be speedily disconnected by the network.

      Of course, with the non-fixed width fonts now used in comments boxes, these days ASCII has to be fairly limited in size to work (hence it generally being crude renditions of cocks, middle fingers and boobs).

      1. Bernard M. Orwell
        Trollface

        Re: "ASCII art pornography"

        Be careful now....a drawing or depiction of someone in a compromising or provocative position can be deemed as pornography under UK law, even as extreme (illegal) pornography if the illustration can be "interpreted to depict someone under the age of 18". The ASCII art isn't quite so innocently annoying anymore.

        Please YouTube, won't someone think of the chillerns?!

  3. El Presidente

    I stopped reading ..

    .. at the word 'gotten' because I was reading a UK website.

    I was expecting 'since become'

    1. Graham Marsden
      Facepalm

      Re: I stopped reading ..

      Yes, who could use such as mis-begotten Americanism...

      ... erm...

      1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

        Re: I stopped reading ..

        "Yes, who could use such as mis-begotten Americanism..."

        I honestly believe that we mangled the language so entirely to infuriate the UK. ;)

        On a more serious note, I'm a fluent native speaker of American English and I'm also fluent in *real* English. :)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So many decisions....

    Ahhh the internet raises such difficult moral choices - beheading videos on facebook, ascii pornography on you tube, real pornography anywhere else... .. What about maybe talking to someone in meatspace for a change? (Says the author totally unaware of the irony as he types an inane anonymous comment on "el Reg").

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So many decisions....

      > What about maybe talking to someone in meatspace for a change?

      True. I was just telling that to someone else on IRC. :)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Spam Alert

    "We know the spam issues made it hard to use the new system at first, and we’re excited to see more of you getting involved as we’ve fixed issues. New features like threaded conversations and formatted comments are coming to life, thanks to you and your fans."

    .

    See, that is an example of utter bullshit right there; spam if I ever read it. Next he'll be selling me investments in a Nigerian king's shoe empire.

  6. WinHatter
    Pint

    Typical Google nonsense.

    You may ban all derogatory comments, provided there is a way to do so.

    But, not letting people say they think Google+ or a YouTube video sucks won't make them stop thinking it sucks. And that may even force them to be smarter in order to crack that wall of yours.

  7. stu 4

    I fecking hate it

    I've been in youtube for years.

    total views around 400,000.

    google+ was the second last straw.

    I few days after that they stopped 1080p html5, forcing everyone including my viewers to have to view videos in shitey flash to get 1080p

    i'm moving all my videos to my smugmug account. I hope others vote with their feet.

    I'll lose around £200 quid or so a year advertising revenue from hits, but it'll be worth it .

  8. Haku
    WTF?

    YouTube is a place where you can call someone a cunt in the comments yet draw a bit of 'rude' ASCII art and Google doesn't like it.

    What am I missing here?

    1. Crazy Operations Guy

      Inflammatory comments cause people to stay on the website and expose themselves to more ads (thus making Google Money) where ASCII porn is just an annoyance and they'll go elsewhere.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        > where ASCII porn is just an annoyance and they'll go elsewhere.

        Not if you have an ASCII porn fetish.

        According to my friend, anyway.

  9. bpfh
    Flame

    Cannot post or rank anymore

    I had a Google+ account since the very beginning - among the very first to open what was billed as a Facebook Eater. Since then, over the years, I believe that i have logged into it 6 times. Maybe 5, so in the end, I got pissed off with Youtube asking me to join my accounts so I did. Last week I deleted the G+ account and unlinked it from Youtube.

    My Youtube account was reset. All my previous comments, all my account settings, all my subscriptions, all purged.

    I can no longer interact with Youtube to either like or write comments as I no longer have a G+ account to link to. Oh well, even less worred about my regret of clicking the "ignore ad" button now !

    1. Miek
      Linux

      Re: Cannot post or rank anymore

      There was a clear warning of what unlinking your account would do presented to you before you unlinked it. Some older pre-G+ accounts can be unlinked without losing your whole youtube account.

  10. Graham Marsden
    Facepalm

    Well....

    .... another of Google's great ideas goes pear shaped because they completely failed to take *people* into account.

    Whoever would have expected it...?

    1. Don Jefe

      Re: Well....

      Oh, the decision was made around people alright. It was just Google customers, not Google users.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Get rid of crappy google+

    google+ integration sucks. There's no extra protection against trolls because they create fake google+ accounts just as easily as they did youtube/google accounts. The comment section takes longer to load, it's kinda laggy to use and since it went live my videos have had no comments whereas I used to get 5-10 legitimate comments a day.

    They should just let google+ die. They gave it a go and it didn't work out. The best Google projects are the ones they bought from someone else and then made free. Youtube, analytics etc. The stuff they make themselves (wave, video, etc) is generally a pile of shite.

    1. frank ly

      Re: Get rid of crappy google+

      "The stuff they make themselves (wave, video, etc) is generally a pile of shite."

      iGoogle and Google Reader were fantastic. I've no idea how their borg collective hive-mind works.

      1. David 164

        Re: Get rid of crappy google+

        Google Reader got a few million users a month, Youtube gets billions of unique users a month.That why reader was scrapped.

    2. The Onymous Coward

      Re: Get rid of crappy google+

      The stuff that Google comes up with can be great... but they killed off Reader because they weren't making enough ad revenue on it.

  12. phil dude
    WTF?

    anonymous charter...?

    perhaps the issue of anonymous commenting in general is the issue? Why does a corporation need to know who you are anyway? They may want it, they may even protest they need it to make money, but so does selling my information (make money for them, that is...).

    A few months back there was a flurry around some inappropriate comments on science websites, and the idea of a "respect" button or similar concept was punted. In slashdot, you can choose to not see anonymous comments?

    If having your realname plastered on comments is the answer, I think double-triple-etc entendres could be on the up....

    P.

    1. Don Jefe

      Re: anonymous charter...?

      Advertisers and those who cater to advertisers (Google) aren't interested in the content of your comment. They are interested in what kind of content you're so interested in that you'll interact with a website about it.

      While companies all use their own homegrown valuation systems, all those systems apply extra weight to targets who will interact with and provide content to a website. The idea being that if you are given the tools with which to to interact with and you use them, you're far more likely to click on an advertisement if they can identify the types of content you prefer.

      For Google it lets them increase the price they get for ads and for advertisers it lets them better define what type of ads to show you. It's a win-win in every regard except your privacy...

  13. Andrew Garrard

    8//=/\-, ?

    Yes, I can see the susceptible hormone-drenched youth of today being corrupted by such images, and nothing to do with what's advertised at them every day.

    If only we could return to the romance (or sexism, or rape and pillage, depending on your perspective) of the past.

    @>-`-,----

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wondering

    What sort of person gets scandalised by ASCII art? :-/

    1. Don Jefe

      Re: Wondering

      Emoticons?

    2. Bernard M. Orwell
      Trollface

      Re: Wondering

      Conservative blue rinse brigade. They get scandalised so easily.

    3. Jamie Jones Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Wondering

      " What sort of person gets scandalised by ASCII art? :-/"

      The problem is the loud minority who object that *others* will object to something.

      The PC brigade are on a mission to save us from ths supposed horrors that would supposedly upset/corrupt us, even when they actually wouldn't.

  15. chrisp1141

    We Don't Want Google+!

    Nobody wants google+. We don't want google trying to shove this service down our throats. People are starting to wake up to googles terrible privacy. We should start telling our friends and family about privacy-based alternatives such as DuckDuckGo, Ravetree, HushMail, etc.

  16. Matto in AUS
    Coat

    Very disappointing people

    Story about ASCII porn in comments threads.

    24 responses in this comment thread for said story.

    Not one ASCII penis.

    Sorry - I must be on the wrong IT news website...

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. MrDamage Silver badge

      8=====D ~ ~ ~

      There. Feel better now?

  17. David 164

    Bob's army seem to have been crushed on the videos I have watch and read the comments sections on. Seem to get a lot less my sister makes a 7000 dollars a month spam as well.

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