TalkTalk's broadband base continues to fall as TV subs grow

Delivering optimum outcomes. Bit like our milkman used to, then.

The corporate-speak drivel spouted by TalkTalk's CEO goes some way towards explaining why this hugely unloved outfit is sinking slowly beneath the waves. The phrase "having trouble with my service provider" has for so long been synonymous with TalkTalk it's a wonder it actually has any customers at all.

I'm unfortunate enough to be a customer of this bunch of overpriced, under-performing half wits.

A few weeks ago I arrived back from the pub at the same time as a marketing email arrived from Talktalk. I called them on the 0800 number provided and for some reason which made perfect sense at the time, I signed up for their TV service.

In the harsh, cold light of a sobering October Sunday, the deal didn't seem anywhere near as attractive. You get a recorder/tuner (got two already), catchup TV and pay services for some Sky content which is pretty much what I already have. "No, this is not a good deal" I thought to myself, especially when I contemplated the additional 2 years locked in to a contract with these clowns. I decided to cancel.

I rummaged around my inbox for contact details and found the You Want To Change Your Mind number, which unsurprisingly had an 0870 prefix. Not being one to fall for such simple extortion tactics, I got the equivalent 0800 number from good old SayNoTo0870 and I'm glad I did.

I called the number and got through to the TalkTalk Indian sales office fairly quickly, once we had established an understanding he said he was putting me through to the department that deals with cancellations. Fair enough, that's good. He then explained at some length that I was to hold on to the line, they are very busy - bear in mind that this is 08:30 on a Sunday morning, just how many people are cancelling at that time? So I told him I fully understood and promised I would hang on. This transaction had taken around a minute.

The phone went quiet, no music on hold which was a blessing and no sales jabber which was even a bigger blessing. At exactly seven minutes into the call, the music on hold arrived. This lasted until the eighth minute when the call was picked up by someone in the UK. The next seven minutes where spent batting away fallacious reasons for not cancelling, I will admit that he was very good at his job as it took me all this time to get the "upgrade" cancelled. That would have been a full fifteen expensive minutes. It was after that call that I decided to bail out at the first opportunity.

To be fair to TalkTalk, the provision hasn't been too bad, customer service and fault reporting are a joke though but probably no worse than any other provider. But cheap they are not!