Ahhh Google
The new Microsoft.....of course, when you click on how to fix your washing machine, all your "friends" you never heard of will be able to see this on Google+ that you never signed up to
Bottom-feeders beware! Google is now attempting to eat into "how to" websites with the launch of its latest service dubbed "Helpouts". Just last month, Google said it was toying with the idea of allowing big banner ads to run at the top of its search results pages. Now the ad giant is searching other corners of the web for …
I'll just have to add -helpouts to my default -fuck queries since Google Instant still sucks.
While I'm ranting, why did google move the 'advanced search' link from a visible link at the bottom of the page to a hidden menu item? I don't care if there's a hotkey that opens it, i'll just re-open my bookmarked page. Dear google, can we please have a 'don't fucking guess' button, I don't want you to assume that I missspelled a word again. just return zero results for my mistakes.
I wish today was over already.
Aaargh.
</rant>
1) Build worlds best search engine
2) Show ads next to search results
3) Show ads next to other people's content, share revenue
4) Make fortune
5) Profile users actions so that you can extract more revenue from them
6) Make a list of the sectors of other people's content that we share revenue with
7) Expand in to the highest ranking sectors with well polished products, developed and funded by revenue from 2) and 3)
8) Goto 6
"You can share your computer screen ... we offer a full money back guarantee."
There are some very nice Indian people who have been telephoning me from time to time to tell me about a virus that Microsoft services has detected on my computer. They seem to be saying much the same sort of thing.
How should we best defend against unauthorised viewing of the personal data you have (stupidly) trusted us with?
a) Remove SSL at the edge of our network, then spaff everything down some cables the government sponsorred telco let us use for free (no, we can't work out why, either ... Nice of them though, eh?)
b) Do not do the above
We will pay $3 to anyone uploading a short video message who can enlighten us
(Note to Our Stakeholders: Expect a charge of several billion dollars to wipe 0.1% from your dividends, for the following quarter)