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back to article LOHAN hero playmonaut STRANDED on Spanish mountain

The Special Project Bureau's mountain rescue team has been mobilised today to recover our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) playmonaut – stranded since yesterday on the side of a Spanish mountain. What should have been a routine test flight to put our improved rocket motor igniter through its paces ended dramatically …

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  1. Parax

    SPB Drone?

    Sounds like a job for an SPB Drone. if the excuse were needed. You should be sending a drone to fly in to gps coords to video crash site, and report back, before you trek up to it...

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    2. Peter Simpson 1
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      Black Helicopters

      Re: SPB Drone?

      +1 for an SPB drone. It's just not an option -- you NEED one (with lots of cameras, please)!

      Thrilling video from the chase car, great fun watching the comments scroll by in one window as the tracker updated in the other and the scenery flew by. Well done (except for the whole not-getting-to-the-landing-site-before-dark thing), but there's always tomorrow, and that climb will be easier after a few beers, a good dinner and a night's rest, which I hope you got!

      //drone is cheaper and more portable than a gyrocopter

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  2. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Pint

    Pleased to see

    that you didn't spend the night stranded yourselves on the side of the mountain - as looked possible at one stage yesterday evening!

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  3. Narlaquin

    Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is an enemy action.

    First the Original Playmonaut "lost at Sea".

    Then CASSiE, the space hedgehog "lost" "somewhere" in Oxfordshire or Warwickshire.

    Now the LOHAN Playmonaut, "STRANDED" on Spanish "Mountain"

    As I said here: http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2013/03/28/space_hedgehog/#c_1776781

    "I hope she isn't in a cell with the Playmonaut, inside a miniature Baking Soda and Vinegar volcano, and that they find her safe and well. But I'm still going for the "someone is stealing our toy astronauts a la You Only Live Twice" theory."

    Wake up and smell the coffee, sheeple!!

    Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is an enemy action.

    Someone is stealing our toy astronauts a la "You Only Live Twice"

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    1. Don Jefe
      Reply Icon

      Re: Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is an enemy action.

      It also sounds suspiciously like the operational procedures of the Soviet space program and its undervaluation of Human Capital. Have the Ruskies maintained their policies of infiltration and espionage, even after the fall of their empire, and penetrated even as high as El Reg?

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Black Helicopters

        Re: Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is an enemy action.

        It's the NSA getting even for el Reg's unfavorable coverage of their shenanigans. Right now, Playmonaut is being waterboarded to the question of "What's the frequency, Kenneth?"

        Meanwhile Keith Alexander is wearing his "Gul Alek'sandar" costume as he watches it all on the monitor in in his faux-Star Trek command center.

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        1. Anonymous Coward
          Reply Icon
          Mushroom

          Re: Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is an enemy action.

          Possibility two is a North Korean kidnap team. Keep your eyes peeled for the broken and brainwashed Playmonaut to appear in a worshipful Pyongyang crowd shot taken during the Dear Leader's next birthday celebration!! You'll know what they got out of him when Pearl Harbor is taken out by a ballocket-delivered Nork nuke!

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  4. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    Reminds me

    of the cosmonauts who came down far off course and had to spend the night fighting off wolves with a pistol. Are there wolves in Spain? Did anyone think to equip the playmonaut with a sidearm?

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Reminds me

      There are both bears and wolves in Northern Spain. The bears are dying out because they can't be bothered to breed, apparently.

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      1. Professor Clifton Shallot
        Reply Icon

        Bear minimum

        Maybe if Mrs Bear could summon up the effort to depilate then Mr Bear wouldn't be more interested in hanging around with a much younger Mr Bear stealing picnics.

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  5. Steve Foster
    Paris Hilton

    2nd mighty orb to be deployed?

    Good job they always come in pairs then!

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "premature balloon burst... and a crash landing in rough terrain south west of Avila."

    Funny, that's how my last Friday night went.

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  7. Arachnoid

    I think any future Legonoughts need issuing with his own personal inflatable rescue balloon and flashing beacon so that they might escape any further earthward bound crisis

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    1. Elmer Phud
      Reply Icon

      Legonaut?

      This is one tough, mean, ornery Playmonaut.

      Top of a hill no worries, makes Chuck Norris look like Steven Segal.

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  8. Steven Raith

    ....and following a mad dash along mountain roads.....

    I was watching the video feed, I saw no such dashing....but then a very public GPS speed readout from the chase-car tracking unit probably put the kybosh on that!

    Steven R

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  9. SirDigalot
    Paris Hilton

    Seems like LOHAN

    is rather promiscuous with her playmonaut pilots.

    a case of art imitating reality I guess

    still i'd hit it

    and Lindsay too

    >>> Paris because promiscuality is a made up word that sounds good

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  10. Peter Simpson 1

    Well done, the SPB Mountain Rescue!

    Playmonaut safe, debrief to be held in the nearest pub, ASAP!

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Redundancy?

    Perhaps there's a need for a back-up balloon in the main event?

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Redundancy?

      Good idea.

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  12. Anakin
    FAIL

    No updates on LOHAN Full coverage

    You better fix it.

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/Wrap/lohan/

    No update after aug.

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  13. Snafu1

    Your Playmonaut seems to be having difficulty finding the correct Secret Mountaintop Lair.. would you like some help with that?

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  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If a playmonaut lands on a mountain..

    ...and no one is there to witness it, does it make a sound?

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If a playmonaut lands on a mountain..

      It'll make a vibration wave in the air.. but is that a sound? or is the definition of sound something that is heard or recorded? if its not heard or recorded it's just a vibration dissipating into heat.

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