back to article 'World's worst director' plans Snowden-inspired movie comedy

Uwe Boll, the recipient of a lifetime Razzie award who has been called “the world's worst director” has taken to Kickstarter to fund a political comedy movie inspired by Edward Snowden and Julian Assange. The German director, most famous for making terrible films out of video games like BloodRayne and Far Cry, wants to use the …

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  1. auburnman

    I think I'd rather contribute to a Kickstarter fund that paid Uwe Boll to retire and never go near a film again.

    1. LarsG
      Meh

      I've seen worse films than Postal and Blood Rayne, 'Boxing Helena' for a start!

      1. Piro Silver badge

        I watched Postal

        Oh sure, it wasn't great, but it was not exactly bad, simply because you could not expect it to be the pinnacle of cinema with a straight face.

        It was fine for what it was. Has to be one of the only films I recall where kids got shot in the chest, too, which was memorable because it was so unexpected.

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

      3. Vociferous

        Ah, damning with faint praise.

        It's one of my favorite literary techniques too, it's even better than Leonard Nimoy's singing.

    2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Happy

      Or one like that for M. Night Shymalan

      To send him to film school?

      1. David Kelly 2

        Re: Or one like that for M. Night Shymalan

        How about a collaboration between Shymalan and Boll? I'd call it M.A.D. (Mutually Assured Destruction).

    3. Mullerrad

      That film looks so bad I want to see it.

  2. ByeLaw101

    Worlds worst Director....

    *cough* Michael Bay *cough*

    1. Flawless101
      Stop

      Re: Worlds worst Director....

      No. Seriously, No. Bay is an oscar winning artist of a director compared to him.

  3. DrXym

    Shady

    Uwe Boll's movies are obviously designed to be surefire flops. It begs the question as to how he finds investors or makes money. I expect it's a tax dodge of some kind, to offset the losses made on the film against profits made somewhere else but I'd be interested to read the retails.

    1. Charles Manning

      re: Shady

      The Producers in real life perhaps? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Producers_%282005_film%29

      1. Kane
        Happy

        Re: re: Shady

        There, FTFY

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Producers_(1968_film)

        1. DrXym

          Re: re: Shady

          The Producers was different because the premise was the tax inspectors and investors wouldn't demand to look at the books of a flop because there were no profits.

          It is safe to assume the Uwe Boll is so high profile and prolific at producing duds that the revenue services would take a very keen interest in his books.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Shady

      yep, it's a tax dodge; Germany allows investors to deduct 100% of what they invest in German films. iirc this was meant to bolster the German film industry, but in practice it's mostly used with non-german productions. Boll however uses the laws as intended, and provides his investors with a further bonus: in addition to deducting the initial investment, investors are only required to pay taxes on the profits of the movie, so thanks to Mr. Boll, they can actually write off the loss as well.

  4. James 51

    The title is too long.

    "but be warned, it may be the most casually and pointlessly offensive thing this Reg hack has ever seen."

    Then it must be really radioactively bad. Thanks for the warning.

  5. C 18
    Trollface

    Must be something wrong with me...

    ...but I found that trailer quite amusing!

    The George Bush looky-likey is particularly convincing.

    I might even bother torrenting this.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Must be something wrong with me...

      Are you sure it was not George Bush, he did not nab Osama bin Laden after all.

    2. VinceH

      Re: Must be something wrong with me...

      "...but I found that trailer quite amusing!"

      Whatever is wrong with you, it's contagious.

  6. h3

    The first postal game was quite enjoyable for me for the time.

    1. joeW

      The second one kept me entertained for a week or so too. Pity the game engine was pretty dated by the time it was released, but I do have happy memories of decapitating cops and hookers with a shovel, setting fire to the heads, and kicking them around the town.

      1. MrT

        I remember...

        ...the reaction of the sales bloke in Game when I asked for a copy of Postal 2 - "Nasty!" ... brilliant game though ;-)

  7. Denarius
    Paris Hilton

    was that Paris ??

    cant be bothered trying to view trailer thru this piece of saline soaked string, but that looks like Paris. At last !

    1. Vociferous

      Re: was that Paris ??

      No, it's a porn model with a painted Hitler mustache (a "feminazi", geddit? Boll has a very literal sense of humo... No, scratch that, no sense of humor.)

  8. tkioz

    Can we pay someone to lock him in a mental ward instead?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ramage was actually a pretty decent watch, so he is capable of turning out a good movie now and then.

    1. Spleen

      Out of curiousity I looked it up. It sounds rubbish. I am basing that solely on the Wikipedia synopsis which indicates that it a) has no ending and b) uses the Blair Witch "found footage" device, but that is a pretty foolproof indication of crap. I get the sense that the positive comments were due to lowered expectations.

      1. MonkeyCee

        This is Rampage right?

        I think it's a good movie. Not especially nice, but I like my scary movies believable. Nightmare on Elm street isn't scary, Eden Lake is. People scare me, not made up metaphysical monsters.

        Most of the footage is normal film. There's some home camera stuff that's the protagonist talking directly to the audience. The found footage is the crap ending (like 30 seconds of footage). There is pretty much no character development or arc. Still has more to say than most action movies. Certainly better than I was expecting, good solid B movie.

        But the wiki summery is pretty spot on. Have a nutty outspoken friend (Evan who posts stuff on the net), practise mimicing his voice and mannerisms, order your guns, ammo and armor to his house, and set him up as the fall guy. At least one of the murders was made to look personal (the waitress who annoyed Evan), stealing the money then burning the fake whilst yelling Evan's anti-capitalist rants.

        The violence is unsettling because it's not fantasy gun-glory hollywood, nor tense built up single-gunshot drama. It feels horridly real, not detached.

        I certainly expect the pro reviewers comments to have very low expectations, perhaps they where sent to it as a punishment?

        But life is short, if you're not into B movies on unnerving subjects, then skip it. Certainly wouldn't advise paying money for it :)

    2. Grave

      pretty lame when people blindly jump on bashing wagon pushed by chronic boll haters without actually seeing any of his movies.

      Rampage, Darfur and Attack On Wall Street are great.

      1. MacGyver
        Windows

        I have seen a lot of Uwe Boll films, always accidentally, I can always tell when I've been duped into watching one. It usually goes something like this, "Wow, this movie is bad, let me see who made this thing, damnit, it's a Uwe Boll film, I could have guessed. 'presses stop' "

        At least 6 times I have wasted both my time and money on a Uwe Boll film, always accidentally. Who keeps funding his projects? Sadly it is us, we do it to ourselves. He owes his whole career to his DVD cover artist. (confession: I did like Alone in the Dark, it was ok.)

  10. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Stop

    Ahem?

    ".....but be warned, it may be the most casually and pointlessly offensive thing this Reg hack has ever seen....." You don't get forced to watch many chick-flicks then?

    1. Havin_it
      Flame

      Re: Ahem?

      Sorry to ride your coat-tails Matt, but I was going to use that quote too, for different reasons...

      This would be the same Reg hack who just referred to "Edward Snowden and Julian Assange" as "the whistleblowers" in paras 1-2?

      I can think of a certain gentleman^H^H^Hlady currently embarking on 35 years in chokey who might find that conflation more than a little offensive.

  11. Don Jefe
    Joke

    Propoganda

    This is obviously a government operation to derail the Snowden "hero" narrative. Getting Uwe Boll to do the movie will completely destroy Snowden's reputation, cheese up an otherwise interesting story and eliminate any protection afforded by public sympathy and interest. Watch how fast his project gets funded. Those are black ops payments from the CIA.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I haven't seen any other Uwe Boll films, but I enjoyed the postal film - I laughed my ass off - it's absolutely hilarious!

    I commend Uwe Boll - it's so deliberately offensive that I think the man has balls of steel for making it. Children getting shot? that's comedy gold!

    I didn't play the first game, but Postal 2 is an excellent game - ambitious and also hilarious in exactly the same (i.e: wrong) way. The film captures it's spirit well.

    My next stop is the kickstarter page - I'll be seriously thinking about pledging for this - I'd love to see another postal movie

    1. The FunkeyGibbon
      Facepalm

      "Children getting shot? that's comedy gold!"

      *Shakes head sadly* Oh dear.

      1. NumptyScrub

        quote: "*Shakes head sadly* Oh dear."

        Go watch Bad taste and/or Meet the Feebles and/or Dead Alive (aka Braindead) and let me know whether those should ever have been made either. I fully appreciate you probably wouldn't want to watch them yourself, however I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't try deciding for me what I can and can not watch. I am perfectly capable of making that decision myself :)

        The director for all of those was subsequently chosen for the LotR trilogy, for some bizarre reason.

        1. Don Jefe
          Thumb Up

          Oh god! I'd forgotten about Meet The Feebles! I'm going to order that right now. It is great!

        2. MonkeyCee

          To be fair to good old PJ he made those films as a student, the stuff about how they made Bad Taste is more hilarious than the film. He got Rings 'cos he was a safe pair of studio hands already. His work, even the dark grotty early stuff, is often loved by fans. He's taken some beloved properties and done well with them (rings, tintin, king kong). OK product, good returns, no South Park episode of him raping the lead character of his franchise.

          It was still fun pre rings to send people the braindead/meet the feebles/bad taste set when they where worried that PJ might not handle the series with enough gravitas :)

        3. psychonaut

          Bad taste and brain damage. Absolutely fabulous. Im a derek...and dereks dont run....the bit with rocket the rocket launcher and sheep is priceless

        4. Jedit Silver badge
          Headmaster

          "The director was subsequently chosen for the LotR trilogy, for some bizarre reason."

          Two bizarre reasons, actually: Heavenly Creatures and The Frighteners. The one showed that Jackson could do something other than splatter movies, the other showed that he could handle a real budget.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Indeed, I thought the entire point of the Postal games was to be as over-the-top-offensive as possible.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Yes, but I'd argue that it's also a fairly ambitious (for the time) attempt at making an open world first person shooter game where experimentation and exploration is encouraged (with often ludicrous/hilarious/horrifying results). It's much much closer to what I was looking for in a Duke3D sequel than Duke Nukem Forever (ugh) turned out to be.

        The implementation is not pefect - for examine I'd love a transit system to automatically travel back to places you've already been, at least on the same day - sometimes I think there's a bit too much walking around backtracking. But this also encourages exploration, and there are often multiple routes from A to B.

        I'm fairly sure that a no-kill run is possible in postal 2 - you don't *have* to pour petrol on people, light them on fire, and then piss on them to put them out. You're not *required* to steal a police uniform and go around beating people up, or to walk around town with your manhood exposed. The objectives are as simple as "get milk from the shop".

        Running With Scissors responded to both my enquiries about a Linux version of Postal 3 within a couple of hours - once within minutes - I was amazed by their speed. You get a response back from one of the actual RWS guys, not just some customer support goon. And they're frank and honest: the second time I asked they replied and said "sorry but postal 3 linux is not going to happen". At least they're honest - have Epic even admitted that UT3 for linux is dead yet?

        Speaking of Linux, Postal 2 is available for Linux on Steam these days and it runs well.

        I really do think it's one of those great yet underrated games.

        No, I don't work for RWS ;)

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Worst movie? No way...

    I haven't seen Postal, but if its like the trailer, I bet I could sit through it with a couple of friends and laugh. Its clearly not meant to be taken seriously.

    There are *plenty* of films worse than 'Postal', mostly because their delivery never met their promise. It depends on what metric you use, however mine is 'enjoyability' - 'Postal' might score low, but shit like Prometheus (and most of the trash Hollywood serves up these days) has a *negative* score for me - I leave the cinema dissapointed and asking myself just how hard is it to have a movie with a plot thats not insulting to the intellect.

    2001, Star Wars, Bladerunner, Alien, Aliens, The Matrix.... where are this generations films?

    1. Gio Ciampa

      Re: Worst movie? No way...

      "2001, Star Wars, Bladerunner, Alien, Aliens, The Matrix.... where are this generations films?"

      At the bottom of the pile of "Merchandising 2" (3, 4, ...) scripts I'll wager...

    2. Piro Silver badge

      Re: Worst movie? No way...

      Talking about unbearable films: Valhalla Rising.

      Unspeakably awful. Pretentious and ultra-aimless. Probably my least favourite film.

      The lead actor is capable, however; watch Jagten (The Hunt). A genuinely thought provoking film.

  14. Lloyd Kinsella

    What gets me is this guy still manages to fund his films and keep going...

    Although I read somewhere about German tax loopholes that he used to use...

    1. Piro Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Definitely Nazi Gold.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Have you not seen the Postal movie? He clearly states that all of his movies are financed with Nazi Gold.

    But seriously, Postal was hilarious, Uwe Boll is a horrible director, true his other movies are all just as horrible as his directing, but Postal was like a pearl in a big puddle of mud.

    1. wayward4now
      Linux

      I agree. Postal was about the best/worst film I have ever watched! It helps to be on prescription pain meds after having a toe amputated. Then, it's REALLY hilarious! :)

      1. C 18
        Joke

        >...be on prescription pain meds...

        Are you sure you turned on the TV?

  16. NP-Hardass
    FAIL

    Copy and Paste?

    How do you manage to type "Snowdon" in a quote from the Kickstarter page where you should have just copied and pasted? Also, why don't we have a link to the Kickstarter project in the article?

    http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1544635303/postal-2

    1. John Deeb
      Pirate

      Re: Copy and Paste?

      How do you know if that KS page hasn't been corrected since then? Suggestion: you do not reall know.

  17. Zot
    Pint

    Postal was like the game

    Postal was twisted and had an odd atmosphere, and he's actually IN the film defending his own films, which is quite amusing. It's nowhere near his worst film, which in my opinion is 'Alone in The Dark,' as it simply didn't make any sense at all!

    He makes profit from German film grants, and his films are so budget starved he probably makes enough money to have another go. So they just keep churning them out, and they seem to have fun doing so.

    I have no idea how he gets some big names to appear in his films though, maybe they lost a bet or something. :)

  18. rcorrect

    Uwe Boll...

    ...sounds like a parasite desperate for its next meal.

  19. OffBeatMammal

    trailer looked okay

    but then again that's probably every decent bit from the movie rolled into one bait'n'switch up-sell!

  20. Huckleberry Muckelroy

    He has Bolls!

    I have nothing but praise for Uwe Boll and his work. He has a fantastic sense of humor in following his horrid "Bloodrayne: The Third Reich" with "Blubberella" , a hilarious (or an hilarious) parody of his own "Bloodrayne: The Third Reich". He is definitely the best choice to dramatize the Snowden affair, with Brendan Fletcher playing something-or-other.

  21. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    FAIL

    I have heard of the film "Blood Rayne."

    And having heard of it from a friend I had no further desire to see it.

    Ever.

    1. Daniel B.
      Devil

      Re: I have heard of the film "Blood Rayne."

      Interestingly, it is probably the least offensive of his movies, even with the given that the movie has no relation at all to the game. It mostly plays as a standard vampire hunter flick, probably even better than the contemporary dreck in the vampire genre (Van Helsing of all things!)

      Among the Vampire flick buffs, it fares far better than Dracula 2000, Van Helsing and the entireity of the sparkly gay vampire flicks. Okay, those are pretty low bars to jump...

      1. MacGyver
        Thumb Up

        Re: I have heard of the film "Blood Rayne."

        "Edward Snowdon - Vampire Hunter" Now that sounds like a Uwe Boll film.

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. MacGyver
      Trollface

      Re: "Edward Snowdon"

      Their names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the guilty.

  23. rav

    Never whether it should be made we need a naming contest.

    How about;

    No Orchids for Mr. Snowden. You'll Brits wil get that.

    My favorite is "Springtime for Snowden!"

    or "Snowden: the Revenge!"

    "Battlefield: Snowden" even get John Travolta to play the part.

    How about "Snowden Dearest"

  24. Infernoz Bronze badge
    Go

    Postal looks hilarious

    Good luck to this nutter :)

  25. h4rm0ny

    I kind of liked that.

    I've never seen a Uwe Boll movie and don't really know who he is, but that trailer looked pretty funny.

  26. dan1980

    While I can imagine some reasons investors might fund Mr Boll's productions (the aforementioned tax reasons), I am at a loss as to why anyone would agree to 'star' in one. Okay, sure aspiring actors take what they can get, but I've seen people whose names I actually know. How does that happen?

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